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00:00Let's do Eiffel Tower just goofing. Just goofing, yeah. I tried that one on my wife, never worked.
00:07But yeah, I mean, what were you saying? Does it feel good or not? Does it ever feel good
00:11for a girl to give head? I don't know, but I'm sure getting it from behind like that
00:15feels just fine. Hell yeah. They like that. All right, let's move on after that from Danny.
00:25It's the rundown. I think that's the most consistent of all the shows that
00:29we have here. It's the rundown every single time. Same cadence, the clap. Yeah, and I don't care
00:35what day it is. Everybody says what day, who cares? Doesn't matter. Who cares what day it is?
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01:54and everymanjack.com. Before we get going, Dave, I have a question for you.
02:00Let's hear it, Uncle Chaps.
02:02Does or does not Sabrina Carpenter make you horny?
02:07She's an attractive young woman.
02:09She is.
02:09Yeah.
02:10She is, and she might be the most, well, I don't know if I could, she's one of the most
02:15sexually forward artists of this generation.
02:18Oh.
02:18I would say so.
02:19Yeah. Like she talks about dicks and sucking them and all kinds of what have you.
02:25Yeah. One of her songs, she always puts a new twist on it,
02:28I guess, depending on what city she is and she's basic sexual.
02:30Yeah.
02:31Ba da da da da da London.
02:33Yeah.
02:33Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. It used to be my TikTok for a while.
02:38Oh.
02:38Because I was watching one at night, put my phone down, and it was still open on TikTok.
02:43Mm-hmm.
02:43So I had nothing but Sabrina Carpenter on TikTok for like a month and a half.
02:48You're a lucky man.
02:49I was.
02:50So I'm very familiar with her work, Espresso and what have you.
02:53But people are going nuts right now because she got super horny and people were talking
02:58about this Eiffel Tower picture that's out.
03:01Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:02Do we have a picture?
03:03Yeah, we do.
03:04Of the Eiffel Tower.
03:05Whoa.
03:05I only saw it two times.
03:06I need a third look.
03:07Yeah. There's her giving fellatio, performing fellatio on an astronaut.
03:13Yeah.
03:14While an alien watches.
03:16Eiffel Tower, I will say, pretty aggressive.
03:18Yeah.
03:18That's very aggressive.
03:19And isn't her thing like she's trying to market towards the youth, right?
03:25I think she's doing a damn good job.
03:27Oh, yeah.
03:27A fantastic job.
03:29Towards the male youth, at least.
03:31But I could see Eiffel Tower from the likes of Rihanna, Dua Lipa.
03:35I was a little shocked when I saw Sabrina Carpenter doing Eiffel Tower and then fake
03:39fellatio.
03:40But you got to grow up eventually.
03:41Because she's Pequeno.
03:42Is that why?
03:43She's tiny.
03:44Yeah.
03:45Innocent blonde.
03:46She's got to be like five feet.
03:47Yeah.
03:48I said, please, please, please.
03:50Sabrina, stop with that nonsense.
03:52I like her little hair hold method right there with the dome piece on the microphone she
03:57was giving.
03:58It was good for him.
04:01I have a take for her.
04:02I think she might be more sexual than Britney Spears was at her time.
04:07I think probably so.
04:08Because she is.
04:09You couldn't get away with this.
04:10Yeah.
04:10She was so open about it.
04:12People lost their minds with Madonna, the Madonna kiss.
04:15Yeah.
04:15Oh, my God, did they?
04:17Yeah.
04:18I think this is more sexual.
04:19You're right.
04:19Very much so.
04:20Because it's so much more sexual.
04:23Because we're so desensitized.
04:25Girls will wear whatever or nothing at all.
04:28That's nothing anymore.
04:28But if you're getting down on your knees, fake blowing someone on stage or getting it
04:32in both holes, we've reached a new level.
04:34Well, there's one more hole.
04:35Next stop is porn.
04:36But there's a handful.
04:37Two or three ain't bad.
04:40It's two for three, yeah.
04:42But I gotta be honest.
04:44I'm a sex haver.
04:45You guys know that.
04:463,500 times.
04:473,500.
04:48A little bit more.
04:50Have you ever lost count and had to go back and add it up or anything?
04:53No, it's a rough estimate.
04:54It's not exact.
04:55I should have.
04:56If I can go back in time, I'd get one of those baseball clickers for balls.
04:59Yeah, like the vampires.
05:01Carving tallies to your bedpost.
05:03Yeah.
05:03So it just ends up completely like a big old scratch.
05:07Like a bunk dorm room at a camp.
05:11Right, right.
05:11They sign their names into the wood.
05:13Yeah, yeah.
05:14The Eiffel Tower doesn't seem enjoyable.
05:17No, I mean...
05:17I don't think you could do either one full effort.
05:20I think it's...
05:21Right off the bat, I don't know if it's enjoyable
05:23because automatically you're with another man.
05:24Yeah.
05:25Let's get that out there.
05:26I think it would have to be kind of a joke.
05:28Which some people have that in their proclivities.
05:30Right.
05:30Yeah, which A, if you're into that.
05:32May a thousand blossoms bloom as far as I'm concerned.
05:34You couldn't be more correct, chaps.
05:36But I think you'd have to do it for more for the joke.
05:38Like to tell the fellas like...
05:39For a joke.
05:40Let's do Eiffel Tower, just goofing.
05:42Just goofing.
05:43Yeah.
05:43Just as a goof.
05:45Tried that one on my wife, never worked.
05:48But yeah, I mean, what were you saying?
05:50Does it feel good or not?
05:51Does it ever feel good for a girl to give head?
05:53I don't know.
05:54But I'm sure getting it from behind like that feels just fine.
05:58Hell yeah.
05:58They like that.
05:59All right, let's move on after that from Danny.
06:01Great point.
06:03And different news.
06:05President Trump announced that all 80,000 unredacted pages
06:08of the JFK files will be released today.
06:11And we'll believe it when we see it.
06:13Dante will believe it.
06:14Dante, of course.
06:15It was Dante.
06:17Dante's got it.
06:18Newspapers might as well be his wallpaper right now, I bet.
06:21Yeah, he's balls deep in this.
06:24No pun intended to our previous topic.
06:26Yeah, nice.
06:28Like everybody else says, I will believe it when I see it.
06:30I am of the opinion that this is something that the American public should know
06:35and that they are owed.
06:36It's not the government's job to hold that info
06:41from the people that put you in a position to have that power.
06:45So we'll see.
06:47I don't believe fucking anything until it happens,
06:50especially with something that's been going on 62 years now.
06:54This will be the 63rd year.
06:56Exactly.
06:56Who gives a shit?
06:58I don't care what happened 62 years ago.
07:01I mean, because I think it would.
07:04I think what would happen is the American public would learn that
07:08all these little three letter agencies that we have have kind of become swear words
07:14to us over the last handful of years are kind of operating in the same way
07:18that they were 60 years ago.
07:20So I just I mean, I don't think the average American will give a fuck.
07:25I don't think so either.
07:26I think extremely online people.
07:28One person on planet Earth could have had anything to do with it.
07:32You know, you know, who's going to take responsibility?
07:36I mean, nothing like that now.
07:38I'd like to know what happened.
07:40And I think we can all agree without even becoming conspiratorial
07:44that it probably wasn't Lee Harvey Oswald.
07:47Right.
07:47Is that a crazy thing to say?
07:49I mean, I don't I mean, and this is where it comes.
07:52I don't care.
07:52I don't I don't.
07:53I want the Epstein files fucking out.
07:55Yes.
07:56That is what that is.
07:57Shit that is going on right now and would pain a lot of people in a very bad way.
08:01Yes.
08:02And that's the reason why they won't release.
08:03No, of course not.
08:04And I think Dante did nail it in the blog.
08:08I skimmed it.
08:09I think that a lot of I think there's a lot of smoke and mirrors going on
08:14just through the media.
08:14And I mean, both parties are very guilty of it, of just like,
08:18oh, the Epstein stuff's not in the news anymore.
08:20This is today, like whether it's Ukraine or Israel, Palestine, whatever.
08:25But I think I'd like to see it like right fucking now.
08:28I think they're just going to keep delaying it.
08:30Remember how at one point everyone was like, oh, what's what's what's going on in area 51?
08:34Are there aliens or not?
08:35And then eventually over covid aliens, UFO sightings were like documented headline news.
08:40And everyone's just like, yeah, I think if they just give it a little longer,
08:43once I release the JFK files, everyone's going to.
08:45OK, I'm a firm believer that nobody cares about anything.
08:48How do they keep getting away with?
08:50Really?
08:50Nobody.
08:50How do they keep getting away with not showing the files?
08:54I don't know.
08:55The redacted a lot of that politicking.
08:57I don't I don't get how if you're them, just keep quiet.
09:00Don't even say you're going to show me the first place.
09:02I know that's not it's not really how it works in America.
09:04But if you're the president, can't you just be like, show me the fucking things
09:07and let me tweet them out?
09:08Yes.
09:09Yeah.
09:09I think that's how it works, right?
09:10Yeah.
09:11Like after Trump left last time, he was like, I want to put these out
09:15and declassified these documents.
09:17You can't do it when you're not the president anymore.
09:19But when you're president, you could declassify whatever the fuck you want to.
09:22Any single thing.
09:23Yeah.
09:23Especially now with the Supreme Court ruling that there's presidential immunity.
09:28Had a it wasn't the other day, but it was an interview that I saw last year with
09:35RF Kennedy or RFK Jr.
09:38And Tucker Carlson, where RFK Jr.
09:42said that Trump told him that Mike Pompeo, the former secretary of state,
09:48said told Trump that if you knew what was in these files, you would never release them either.
09:53And that's why it should be released.
09:55That's exactly why it should be released.
09:57Like that is not for you to decide.
09:59Right.
10:00Mike Pompeo and every other politician in United States history.
10:05You know what's bullshit?
10:07FOIA, like the Freedom of Information Act.
10:09It doesn't work.
10:10Like if everything's redacted, what's the point?
10:12What's the fucking point?
10:13What's the point of FOIA if it doesn't work?
10:16It doesn't serve its purpose.
10:17We just need Trump to go on a Kanye or excuse me,
10:20Ye type Twitter rant and start spilling everything.
10:22I'm assuming I or not assuming I'm kind of hoping.
10:27And I think it'll probably eventually lead to it that when he's at like the,
10:32you know, the the he's in the ninth inning of his second term,
10:36he's just going to be like, you know what?
10:38Fuck it.
10:38Here they all are.
10:39And then he rides off into people thought that he could have done that the last time.
10:43I think it's why he also knew he's going to run again.
10:45He can't now.
10:47I don't know if he thought he was going to run again, like right away.
10:50I don't know.
10:51I think he could have definitely done.
10:52He did everything else he could have.
10:54If he wanted to release those, he would have released the interview.
10:56I'm talking about right there.
10:57Yeah, he could have released.
10:58Yeah, no doubt.
10:59Spill the beans already.
11:00CIA director.
11:01Do it.
11:02Would you rather have the Epstein, the 9-11 or JFK?
11:07I think like right now, Epstein, Epstein, because.
11:10Yeah.
11:10What do you again?
11:11What are you going to do all these years later?
11:13Like, are you going to go get Ben Solomon from Saudi Arabia?
11:17Probably not.
11:18No, like that's not going to happen.
11:20Yeah.
11:21The latter two for sure.
11:22The JFK more for curiosity's sake.
11:26The latter two because we lived it.
11:28You know, Epstein needs to happen now.
11:30It needs to happen now.
11:31And as I mean, 2200 people died on 9-11.
11:35I think that should happen now.
11:36And what are like what needs to be released?
11:42I think the investigation behind who like the monetary, who set it up,
11:48what governments were actually covering it up at the time.
11:51Were we funding the Taliban and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
11:53Yeah.
11:54All that stuff.
11:56After that talk, I'm hungry.
11:57I should have had a little Reese's.
11:59Am I right?
11:59Oh, you should have, Chaps.
12:01Yeah, because Reese's is absolutely delicious.
12:03How about, let me quench that hunger for you.
12:06And let me get you a Reese's big cup.
12:09Uncle Chaps, can I help you, though?
12:10You sure can.
12:10Little AMSR.
12:12There are two in there, I believe.
12:13So I would split that with you unless you want all two.
12:16I could have two.
12:16I want both, too.
12:17You want two?
12:18Let's see who can do the best AMSR.
12:20Yeah.
12:22ASMR or?
12:24AMSR.
12:26Whatever.
12:27ASMR.
12:28Okay.
12:28Try it out, Danny.
12:34Mmm.
12:35Delicious.
12:36Yeah, Dave.
12:37I know people are getting turned on at home right now.
12:38Hell yeah, I am.
12:42Hell yeah.
12:42Get some on your beard.
12:44You know what I hate?
12:45The atrocious side.
12:46That is delicious.
12:47You know when I do the, I hate the sound in like mukbang videos when they go.
12:53I start with the big slurp.
12:54Like, who does that in real life?
12:56The big old slurp.
12:58Not me.
12:59I know the commenters absolutely love it when you chew into the microphone.
13:04Chew into the microphone.
13:06All right, next up.
13:07I'm gonna have chocolate throat the rest of the time.
13:10Worth it.
13:13Oh, God.
13:14I know.
13:15Sounded like Sabrina Carpenter over there.
13:17Yeah, Eiffel Tower me, daddy.
13:21You heard him, Dave.
13:22Next up.
13:22I'll get back.
13:23The first trailer for Happy Gilmore 2 is here and it's glorious.
13:27This movie is either going to be a travesty of epic proportions or it's going to be.
13:33There is no in between.
13:35I agree.
13:35You can't have it.
13:36It's not going to be mid.
13:37No matter what.
13:38I don't know.
13:39People are pretty accepting of every Adam Sandler sequel, I think.
13:43I don't think anyone's like, oh, it's a flop.
13:45Even like grownups.
13:47Yeah, no one's like, oh, what a bust.
13:48Just like it is what it is.
13:50It's not another Adam Sandler movie rough stretch there for a minute.
13:53I think as long as you have like most of the original cast.
13:56Plus, isn't like they're all isn't like John Daly in this.
14:00John Daly page on it.
14:02I think that they're probably going to fall victim to what many like many studios, TVs,
14:11whatever you want.
14:12They're going to try to shoehorn too many cameos into it.
14:16It's going to be just a shit show of celebrity appearances trying to hop into Happy Gilmore
14:23two.
14:23I could see that it's going to be annoying and the acting is going to be horrible.
14:27But on the flip side, if that isn't the case, which I do think it will be, I could see it
14:34like uncut gems like he should have won an Oscar for it.
14:37Arguably, I can.
14:39He's not getting an Oscar for Happy Gilmore two.
14:42No, no.
14:42But I'm saying I think he actually takes what he does serious enough at this stage of his
14:48career where he won't let it be a bad movie because he could mail it in and it would make
14:52a gazillion dollars.
14:53But based on what he did in uncut gems.
14:56I think this is his baby too.
14:58It is.
14:58It's got to be his baby.
14:59I mean, this is what put him on the map, you know?
15:01Oh, no, I think it would come out first.
15:03Billy Madison.
15:04It did come out first.
15:05It was Billy Madison, then this and then the Wedding Singer were like his and Mr. D.
15:12So ironically enough, I just watched all three on Saturday.
15:15They were all on Comedy Central.
15:16I think I was watching South Park or something the night before, and I just ripped through
15:20them and they were on all day.
15:21So like a few hours later, I get to a different part of Happy Gilmore or whatever, and I was
15:26just watching it like on and off all day long.
15:29He does have banger after banger.
15:30I hope this movie is good simply for the fact that it's been a long time since we've had
15:35a comedy movie that deserves to be quoted over and over and over again.
15:39Great point.
15:41So that's why I think the only that's why I think I think you should leave is so popular
15:46because there's quotable moments all throughout that show.
15:48There's memes like perfect responses to a tweet or whatever.
15:52Do you know what I'm saying, though?
15:53Like when you first hear Happy Gilmore 2 is coming out, I feel like my initial thoughts
15:57were like, oh, they're going to it's going to ruin the first Happy Gilmore.
16:00People are just happy to have more happy.
16:03You know what?
16:03It could possibly end up being like the second Dumb and Dumber where it comes out.
16:07Yeah, no one really gives a shit.
16:09Like people watched it from a nostalgia point.
16:12But I do think this one is more look forward to than Dumb and Dumber.
16:17Agreed.
16:19We'll all have to see it together.
16:21All right.
16:21That's cool.
16:22So I guess that's the rundown.
16:23Any after show, Dave, I want to give you a shout out.
16:26Your breakfast must have been amazing.
16:29If all those guys, Chief, Eddie, Big Cat, everybody that was in the cave all agreed
16:35that it was good, it must have been incredible because they wanted to shit on you.
16:39Yeah, they did.
16:39They couldn't.
16:40So if they say it's good in that moment, it must have been amazing.
16:44Kudos on you.
16:44I had to know.
16:45And it was about breakfast.
16:47There you go, Dave.
16:47I think it's going to be the first show you're able to talk about this on.
16:50But if you saw our bracket busters video that released, Dave Portnoy canceled Barstool
16:56backstage in the middle of it.
16:58How do you respond?
16:59There's not.
17:00I mean, it's funny.
17:02It's kind of like the Seinfeld clip because it wasn't like an officially endorsed Barstool
17:06podcast.
17:09So it's like the it's like, I don't even really work here.
17:12When he goes to the fake job, he's bringing a briefcase full of saltine crackers and they
17:17try to fire him.
17:18He's like, I don't even really work here.
17:20So, I mean, here's my thing on this.
17:24I don't have access to any of the social medias, and I guess the social media accounts for
17:29Barstool backstage.
17:30I guess there is a large issue with music licensing across media as a whole.
17:37So like a bunch of the bigwigs, Sony, Warner, all those companies are looking for anybody
17:43and everybody and just suing them, suing their pants off.
17:46We were the target of it.
17:47I guess we got sued a couple of times.
17:50I don't know what for exactly.
17:52That's the gist of it.
17:53The thing about backstage that I am upset about is that Colin, who is one of the co-hosts
17:59with us, he's with a band called Foxtrot and Get Down out in Philly.
18:04And then Kenny Carkeat, who is a founding member of AWOL Nation, wrote the song Sale.
18:09I've talked about him a bunch.
18:10And then Dante, those three people know more about fucking music than any three people
18:17on earth.
18:17And it's a very good show.
18:19I'm taking it.
18:20I don't include myself in that.
18:21I just listen to those guys talk because I learn a shit ton and it's great.
18:24Um, I wish that that show had more support, I guess.
18:31And I wish more people gave it a chance because those three are fucking awesome on the show
18:36itself, but can't be getting sued.
18:38Maybe they will now.
18:39Yeah, you're in a tough spot because it wasn't really like an official Barstool podcast,
18:43I guess, but you were still getting dinged and that still costs Barstool money.
18:47So it was only like, it's pretty much just a lose for you.
18:50How does that work if it's not an entity?
18:53It must be.
18:54It must be like the social media account must be under the Barstool umbrella, whether like
18:59the podcast is or not.
19:01I don't know.
19:02But yeah, essentially you guys are posting license from like years ago, too.
19:08So they're like combing through the internet looking for I'm sure they got some AI system
19:12that's like, look for these lyrics.
19:14Yeah.
19:14And it'll be post from three or four years ago that we're thrown up and we're fine then.
19:19And I guess, you know how you can add music via Instagram, like the record labels don't
19:27allow that.
19:28So they're suing for that, too, apparently.
19:30Oh, yeah.
19:31So we got sued one time on ZBT because there was and it was an AI song.
19:35So I didn't think that that would happen.
19:38And I saw it on TikTok and I thought it was hilarious because it's like, I glued my balls
19:43to my butt again.
19:45And it's a fake song.
19:47Yeah.
19:48Oh, yeah.
19:48There's like no workarounds, even pop punk.
19:50They can't do like cover songs on social media.
19:53Yeah, it's insane.
19:54It's bullshit.
19:55Like they couldn't sing Freebird, I heard or something.
19:57Yeah, they have to pay like a couple of grand or something.
19:59Like I have sat down with many artists, many which like sell out sizable arenas and they'll
20:09play an acoustic set in like whatever studio here.
20:12And they'll be like, that's a new song.
20:14We want you to post that song.
20:16And it'll be him in a guitar singing with like me filming on my iPhone.
20:20And even the artists can't be like, it's my song.
20:23Take it.
20:23The studios just freak the fuck out.
20:25OK, I don't care about this anymore.
20:26So we're going to end the rundown.
20:29We'll see you guys tomorrow.