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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00There's a rumor going around that Trevor Holt has the biggest you-know-what in school.
00:00:17And here he is, standing outside my dorm room, naked.
00:00:22Out of the way!
00:00:25What are you doing?
00:00:27Look, I'll explain later.
00:00:29Please don't tell her that I'm here.
00:00:30Tell who?
00:00:31Trevor?
00:00:32Please, uh, what's your name again?
00:00:33Martha.
00:00:34Trevor, where the hell are you?
00:00:35Please, Martha, she's psycho.
00:00:36She's psycho?
00:00:37You're literally hiding under my bed, naked.
00:00:38Look, I'll owe you one, okay?
00:00:42Just get rid of her and I'll do anything.
00:00:43Okay.
00:00:44He's tucking your head.
00:00:46Where is he?
00:00:47Where's who?
00:00:48Trevor.
00:00:49I saw him running this way.
00:00:53Gosh, I don't know anyone named Trevor.
00:00:56Trevor Holt?
00:00:57Football player?
00:00:58Cute.
00:00:59No, doesn't ring any balls.
00:01:02I mean bells.
00:01:03You're lying.
00:01:04Everybody knows who Trevor Holt is.
00:01:05Even girls like you.
00:01:06I haven't seen him.
00:01:07Also, you've got a little...
00:01:08I'm watching you.
00:01:09Granny panties?
00:01:10Seriously?
00:01:11I'm a fan.
00:01:12I'm a fan.
00:01:13I'm a fan.
00:01:14I'm a fan.
00:01:15I'm a fan.
00:01:16I'm a fan.
00:01:17I'm a fan.
00:01:18I'm a fan.
00:01:19I'm a fan.
00:01:20I'm a fan.
00:01:21I'm a fan.
00:01:22I'm a fan.
00:01:23I'm a fan.
00:01:24I'm a fan.
00:01:25I'm a fan.
00:01:26I'm a fan.
00:01:27How many of those boner killers do you own?
00:01:29None of your business.
00:01:32Cover up.
00:01:33No, thanks for handling that Tila situation.
00:01:35She's become a bit of an issue.
00:01:37Why?
00:01:38Did she ask for something?
00:01:39Like, commitment?
00:01:40No, actually, she's my buddy's ex-girlfriend.
00:01:43I don't like her like that.
00:01:44And she doesn't get the hint.
00:01:45She jumped me in the shower.
00:01:47I'm sorry, I didn't...
00:01:48Anyway, what'll it be?
00:01:51Huh?
00:01:52I said I owed you one.
00:01:53Am I a man of my word?
00:01:57This is my chance.
00:02:01A favor from Trevor Holt.
00:02:03And he has the one thing I truly want.
00:02:06What can I do you for, Martha?
00:02:08Drew Longhorn.
00:02:09Drew Longhorn?
00:02:10Yeah, Drew Longhorn.
00:02:12What about Drew Longhorn?
00:02:13I want to kiss Drew Longhorn.
00:02:17Sorry, why do you want to kiss Drew Longhorn?
00:02:21He was my lab partner freshman year.
00:02:25We had chemistry.
00:02:28You had chemistry?
00:02:29Yes.
00:02:30Okay.
00:02:31You want his attention?
00:02:33Then we'll get his attention.
00:02:35But not in that.
00:02:37Guys like Drew, they only go for one kind of girl.
00:02:39And it's not...
00:02:40Forget it.
00:02:41Hey.
00:02:42No, let's just forget the whole thing.
00:02:43No, hey.
00:02:44I'm an ass, okay?
00:02:45I just meant that this stuff doesn't play up your assets.
00:02:49You know?
00:02:50You're really pretty.
00:02:51You need to show it.
00:02:53You're messing with me.
00:02:54I'm not.
00:02:55I swear.
00:02:56You're just going to have to trust me.
00:03:01Okay.
00:03:02First, you show up at the party with me.
00:03:04Everyone's going to notice when you're on my arm.
00:03:06And second, we need to go shopping.
00:03:09Shopping.
00:03:10One, two, three, four.
00:03:12Ho!
00:03:17Ho!
00:03:23Ta-da.
00:03:24Where did you get all this?
00:03:25It was my one-night stand box.
00:03:27Go on.
00:03:28Take your pick.
00:03:29That was my one-night stand box.
00:03:31Go on.
00:03:32Take your pick.
00:03:33No, thank you.
00:03:34I'm not parading around in your hook-up trophies.
00:03:38What?
00:03:39These aren't trophies.
00:03:40These are just clothes that have been forgotten.
00:03:43It's also the kind of stuff that'll attract a guy like Drew Longhorn.
00:03:46So...
00:03:48I'm not wearing someone else's sex panties.
00:03:50I can 100% guarantee that the act of sex did not happen while the panties were being worn by the girl.
00:03:55No.
00:03:56Come on, Martha. This stuff's hot.
00:03:59Come on.
00:04:01Just wear it. Trust me.
00:04:03I've worn it.
00:04:05I haven't worn it. I lied.
00:04:07I've always wanted to wear something sexy like that.
00:04:10I just never had the guts.
00:04:12Turn around.
00:04:15Are your eyes closed?
00:04:17Oh yeah. Totally.
00:04:32Okay.
00:04:34Turn around.
00:04:38Wow.
00:04:40Trevor!
00:04:42What? There's nothing you haven't seen before.
00:04:44Just get dressed, please.
00:04:46And as you can tell, I have nothing to be ashamed of.
00:04:48Well, I have nothing to compare it to, so I wouldn't know, would I?
00:04:54Oh my God.
00:04:55Did I just tell Trevor Holt that I'm a virgin?
00:05:00No.
00:05:01I'm not doing this.
00:05:08Okay. I guess I'm doing this.
00:05:16There's three things I need you to remember.
00:05:18Three simple tricks to get any man's attention.
00:05:21You listening?
00:05:22Yep.
00:05:23Okay.
00:05:24One, eye contact.
00:05:26Not like that.
00:05:28And two, you need to smile at him.
00:05:31Oh, come on. This is serious.
00:05:33I'm very serious.
00:05:35All right. And three, find a casual way to touch him.
00:05:37You know, quick hand on the arm.
00:05:39You know, brush it on his bicep.
00:05:41You know, he'll know what game you're playing if you do that.
00:05:43Why does that have to be a game?
00:05:45Because this is Drew Longhorn we're talking about here, okay?
00:05:48All he does is play games.
00:05:54You ready?
00:05:58Thank you for your help, Trevor.
00:06:00Wow.
00:06:02That was really good.
00:06:03I think you might actually pull this off.
00:06:05Oh.
00:06:07I spoke too soon.
00:06:09I got it.
00:06:10Thanks.
00:06:24Hey, everyone.
00:06:26This is my girlfriend, Martha.
00:06:29This is my girlfriend, Martha.
00:06:32He's kidding, everyone. We're just friends.
00:06:34Oh, Mar-Mar, stop being so coy.
00:06:36We're in love.
00:06:38What the hell is wrong with you?
00:06:40Just trust me.
00:06:41If Drew thinks we're together, it'll pique his interest.
00:06:43Yeah, but if Drew thinks I'm taken, he won't ask me out.
00:06:45It's better if Drew thinks you're with someone,
00:06:47especially if that someone is me.
00:06:49Who's going to believe this anyway?
00:06:51Have you ever even had a girlfriend?
00:06:54No.
00:06:55Guys like me don't like commitment, remember?
00:06:58Trev.
00:06:59What's up, man?
00:07:02I see you brought a friend.
00:07:04Yeah, this is...
00:07:05You look familiar.
00:07:07Have we met?
00:07:08Yeah, we had chemistry.
00:07:10We had science class.
00:07:12We were lab partners.
00:07:13Oh, yeah.
00:07:15That class was such a joke, am I right?
00:07:18Yeah, definitely.
00:07:19Total joke.
00:07:21But I enjoyed working with you.
00:07:24One second.
00:07:26Two seconds.
00:07:28Got him.
00:07:30What did you say your name was again?
00:07:32Her name is Martha.
00:07:35Nice meeting you, Martha.
00:07:37Well, hey, guys, we're playing a game of drink or dare
00:07:39in the next room.
00:07:40You care to join?
00:07:41Sure.
00:07:42Sweet.
00:07:44See you there.
00:07:48That was good, right?
00:07:50Have you played drink or dare before?
00:07:51No, but how hard can it be?
00:07:53I got this.
00:07:57Come on.
00:08:01Conker, your girlfriend's here.
00:08:03So what?
00:08:04So she's gonna know I lied to her.
00:08:06So?
00:08:07Just ignore her.
00:08:08My turn.
00:08:09Tila, drink or dare?
00:08:12I'm feeling thirsty, Drew.
00:08:14Drink.
00:08:16I want you to drink with...
00:08:20Trevor.
00:08:21Okay.
00:08:23I'm feeling thirsty, Drew.
00:08:25Drink.
00:08:26I want you to drink with...
00:08:30Trevor.
00:08:31Okay.
00:08:36Open up.
00:08:38Okay.
00:08:57Yum.
00:08:59Okay, my turn.
00:09:01You, drink or dare?
00:09:04Dare.
00:09:07Okay.
00:09:09I dare you to take off your panties
00:09:12and put them in the middle of the circle
00:09:14for the rest of the game.
00:09:18Hello?
00:09:19What are you waiting for?
00:09:21You don't have to do this.
00:09:22Yes, she does.
00:09:24Um, unfortunately, I can't do that, Tila.
00:09:28Because I'm not wearing any.
00:09:31Oh!
00:09:35You're up next, Martha.
00:09:37Drew, drink or dare?
00:09:40Drink.
00:09:42I want you to drink with me.
00:09:45My pleasure.
00:09:47This is my chance
00:09:50to do what I've been dreaming about
00:09:52since freshman year.
00:10:01♪♪
00:10:11♪♪
00:10:20I should be happy.
00:10:22This is what I've always wanted.
00:10:25But...
00:10:27That was hot.
00:10:29Yeah.
00:10:31I hope I didn't make things weird between you two.
00:10:34No, it's fine.
00:10:36I always wondered what happened to you after that class.
00:10:39Never saw you around.
00:10:41I've seen Drew roughly 83 times since that class ended.
00:10:44Yeah, me too.
00:10:46I'd love to hang out sometime.
00:10:48Yeah, I'd like that.
00:10:49Great.
00:10:50Give me your number.
00:10:56I just sent you a special message.
00:10:58Let me know when you get it.
00:11:00Trev has my phone.
00:11:01I'll be right back.
00:11:06Okay.
00:11:08Who's next?
00:11:10Trevor?
00:11:16Trevor!
00:11:17Oh, sorry.
00:11:21Trevor!
00:11:28Okay.
00:11:33You win, Tiller James.
00:11:35You win.
00:11:50You okay?
00:11:55I'm leaving.
00:11:56You can stay.
00:11:57I just need my phone.
00:12:01I'll walk you home.
00:12:07Your advice didn't work.
00:12:09Just so you know.
00:12:11It was probably for the best.
00:12:13You two never would have worked out.
00:12:15And why is that, Trevor?
00:12:17Is he too hot for me?
00:12:19Too popular?
00:12:21Or is it just pathetically obvious
00:12:23that I'm a frumpy nerd in a stolen sex dress?
00:12:26No.
00:12:28To all three.
00:12:30You want to know my three reasons?
00:12:32Not particularly.
00:12:33One, he's a douche.
00:12:35Two, you're not a douche.
00:12:37You're doing great so far.
00:12:39Three, you guys had zero chemistry.
00:12:41That kiss was a hot mess.
00:12:43And I can tell you weren't that into it, so...
00:12:49You're right.
00:12:52It was kind of terrible.
00:12:55But that look on Tila's face when you told her
00:12:57you weren't wearing any panties.
00:12:59Priceless.
00:13:01How do you do it?
00:13:03Do what?
00:13:05Hide your emotions.
00:13:08They're just so...
00:13:10easy to read.
00:13:12I noticed.
00:13:14I'm serious, Trevor. What's your secret?
00:13:17I want to learn how to not care about anything like you do.
00:13:22There is no secret.
00:13:24It's just who I am, right?
00:13:27Oh, and before I forget...
00:13:46Tonight wasn't what I expected, but...
00:13:49thank you.
00:13:51You don't have to thank me.
00:13:53I owed you one.
00:13:55I guess I missed that.
00:13:57No, I'm glad you knocked on my door.
00:14:00Oh, even after everything that happened tonight?
00:14:02Yeah, because...
00:14:04even though it was kind of awful,
00:14:06I got my first kiss.
00:14:09I'm gonna go.
00:14:12Good night, Trevor.
00:14:23Good night.
00:14:39That wasn't a first kiss.
00:14:54And there it was.
00:14:56The thing I had been looking for.
00:14:58Chemistry.
00:15:00Between Trevor, the guy with the biggest
00:15:02you-know-what on campus,
00:15:05and me.
00:15:08The virgin.
00:15:17Rumor has it that
00:15:19every girl on campus once drew Longhorn.
00:15:22Every girl...
00:15:24except me.
00:15:26Because after last week,
00:15:28I could not be more overdrew.
00:15:31Martha.
00:15:33Mind if I join you?
00:15:35So, where did you run off to
00:15:37after the party on Saturday?
00:15:39I had to go home to study.
00:15:42I have a big test coming up.
00:15:44What are you up to later?
00:15:45Probably more studying.
00:15:48Why?
00:15:49The wet party.
00:15:53The wet party?
00:15:55It's only the most exclusive
00:15:57frat party on campus.
00:15:59So, of course, I've never been invited.
00:16:02What about it?
00:16:04You in?
00:16:05I've never even wanted to go to a party
00:16:07like this before.
00:16:08But it could be the perfect way to get over.
00:16:11Wait.
00:16:12Is Trevor gonna be there?
00:16:14Is Trevor gonna be there?
00:16:15Holt?
00:16:16Nah.
00:16:17He's been ghosting me.
00:16:18Think he's out.
00:16:19Then I'm in.
00:16:20Excellent.
00:16:23Oh, and bring a friend.
00:16:26A female friend.
00:16:30What are those?
00:16:32Guess who just got us tickets to
00:16:34the wet party.
00:16:37Since when do you find frat parties fun?
00:16:40I just wanted to try something different.
00:16:42Like being drooled over by a bunch of chauvinist douchebags?
00:16:45Maybe.
00:16:47Does this have anything to do with Trevor Holt?
00:16:49No.
00:16:51Yes, okay.
00:16:53I just keep playing the night over and over in my head
00:16:55trying to see what went wrong.
00:16:57I mean, things were going so well.
00:17:00We had chemistry.
00:17:08How could he just walk out on me
00:17:10after I asked him to?
00:17:12You know.
00:17:13Take your virginity.
00:17:14Just don't say that word.
00:17:16What word?
00:17:17What word?
00:17:19What word?
00:17:20Virginity.
00:17:21There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, Mar.
00:17:24Tell that to Trevor.
00:17:25He hasn't talked to me since that night.
00:17:27Screw him.
00:17:28That guy's got a reputation for a reason.
00:17:30I'm just so used to achieving everything I set my mind to.
00:17:33I've gotten straight A's, scholarships.
00:17:35Why can't I get a guy?
00:17:37I don't think it works that way, Mar.
00:17:39You're right.
00:17:40And you know what?
00:17:41Forget this stupid party.
00:17:43I'd rather study anyway.
00:17:44Oh, no.
00:17:45We're going to that party.
00:17:47We are?
00:17:48Yup.
00:17:49And forget these dumb books.
00:17:51All you need are Deb's three simple rules
00:17:53for getting over any guy.
00:17:54Deb's three simple rules?
00:17:56Shh.
00:18:03Step one.
00:18:04Dress to impress.
00:18:06Okay.
00:18:07But don't do it for any guy.
00:18:09Do it for you.
00:18:12Step one.
00:18:13Dress to impress.
00:18:14Check.
00:18:16Step two.
00:18:17Find someone new to flirt with.
00:18:19Basic bra, bro.
00:18:20Check.
00:18:21That's Drew Longhorn?
00:18:22He's cute.
00:18:24He's a chauvinist douchebag.
00:18:26Your words?
00:18:27Well, I mean, a girl can't look.
00:18:33Step three.
00:18:34To really get over a guy, you've got to put yourself out there.
00:18:37Show the world who Martha really is.
00:18:41Oh, what's wrong?
00:18:43I already did that, Deb.
00:18:45I put myself out there with Trevor.
00:18:47Showed him who I really am.
00:18:48And he rejected me.
00:18:49Yeah, but it's not...
00:18:50No.
00:18:52From now on, I'm a closed book.
00:18:56Great.
00:18:57This will be fun.
00:18:58Great.
00:18:59This will be fun.
00:19:29I don't like it.
00:19:36Trevor Holt.
00:19:38He wasn't supposed to be here.
00:19:40Trevor Holt.
00:19:43He wasn't supposed to be here.
00:19:45But now that he is...
00:19:46Martha!
00:19:48Glad you could make it.
00:19:50And you brought a friend.
00:19:52Drew Longhorn.
00:19:53In the flesh.
00:19:55And you are...
00:19:56Drew, this is my best friend, Deb.
00:20:00It's a pleasure, Debra.
00:20:03Oh, my God.
00:20:04What are you doing here?
00:20:06Hello to you too, Trevor.
00:20:08They're here with me, Holt.
00:20:10None of your concern.
00:20:12Can we talk?
00:20:13Alone?
00:20:15I need a refill anyway.
00:20:18Debra?
00:20:19Care to join me?
00:20:21You came here with Drew?
00:20:23Really?
00:20:24Why?
00:20:25To tell us?
00:20:26After the kiss last week?
00:20:28No.
00:20:29He's right.
00:20:31That was pretty much the worst kiss of all time.
00:20:35I just thought it would be fun.
00:20:37Martha, this party, these people...
00:20:40It's not your thing.
00:20:41Oh, yeah?
00:20:42Well, maybe you don't know me as well as you think.
00:20:43Please, you're an open book.
00:20:45That's what I like about you.
00:20:47Trevor!
00:20:48Up for a round of beer pong?
00:20:50Did someone say beer pong?
00:20:52Hello?
00:20:53No.
00:20:54Maybe I'm not such an open book after all.
00:20:57Can't we talk about what happened?
00:20:59There's nothing to talk about.
00:21:01Just give me a second to explain.
00:21:02You!
00:21:03Who let you into this party?
00:21:06Who let you into this college?
00:21:08Have you ever even played beer pong before?
00:21:10There's a first time for everything.
00:21:12All right.
00:21:13It's two to a team.
00:21:15So who's it gonna be?
00:21:17The clueless nerd or me?
00:21:20Her.
00:21:21Fine.
00:21:22Drew, you're on my team.
00:21:23Let's do this.
00:21:24Debra, are you in?
00:21:26Oh, uh, no.
00:21:27I am gluten intolerant.
00:21:29I'll just watch.
00:21:30You sure?
00:21:31Positive.
00:21:33You know what?
00:21:34Let's up the stakes.
00:21:36What did you have in mind?
00:21:38What about strip beer pong?
00:21:40Sweet!
00:21:41Come on, Toa.
00:21:43I'm game.
00:21:45You don't even know how to play beer pong.
00:21:47What are the rules?
00:21:48Every time we sink a ball,
00:21:50one of you removes a piece of clothing.
00:21:52Oh, yeah.
00:21:54And vice versa.
00:21:56So if Trevor makes it,
00:21:58my strip seems easy enough.
00:22:00Come on, Holt.
00:22:02It's game time.
00:22:03Let's go.
00:22:04Ladies first.
00:22:11Hold on.
00:22:13Your form is way off.
00:22:15May I?
00:22:23Okay, that's not even fair.
00:22:25You practically gave that one to her, Trev.
00:22:27You're not afraid of a little competition,
00:22:29are you, Toa?
00:22:31Oh, please.
00:22:32Ladies, ladies.
00:22:34Let me show you both how it's done.
00:22:41Uh-oh.
00:22:43Great job.
00:22:44Mm.
00:22:46I'm sorry.
00:22:47I'm sorry.
00:22:49Great job.
00:22:50Mm.
00:22:55My turn.
00:23:01All right, Trevor, you know the rules.
00:23:04Ugh, you are so lame.
00:23:07You're up.
00:23:08Want another lesson?
00:23:09I think I can handle myself.
00:23:11I learn quick.
00:23:14Okay, I call BS.
00:23:16There's no way an amateur like her
00:23:18could have made that shot.
00:23:19It's called studying, Tila.
00:23:21Ever tried it?
00:23:22Mm.
00:23:23Game time.
00:23:27I guess I win.
00:23:31No, no, no, no, stop.
00:23:33You cannot leave.
00:23:35Not now.
00:23:36Didn't you see what happened back there?
00:23:38Now everybody knows that Trevor Holt,
00:23:40the guy with the one-night stand box,
00:23:42doesn't want to sleep with me.
00:23:43Oh, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor.
00:23:45Who cares, Mar?
00:23:47He told the entire school that he passed up
00:23:49the opportunity to sleep with you.
00:23:52Hey, the Martha I know doesn't give up, okay?
00:23:56The Martha I know succeeds at everything
00:23:58she sets her mind to.
00:24:00The Martha you know is also still into some guy
00:24:02who rejected her.
00:24:05I should hate him, but I don't.
00:24:08I can't.
00:24:10A part of me still wants to be with him,
00:24:12even after all that.
00:24:15This is serious, so hold my hand, okay?
00:24:17If Trevor can't see how amazing you are, Mar,
00:24:20then he doesn't deserve you.
00:24:22But I know there's someone out there who does.
00:24:25Okay?
00:24:26So just no, no, no, like that.
00:24:28Okay, great.
00:24:29Oh.
00:24:30Remember step three.
00:24:32You gotta keep putting yourself out there.
00:24:35Okay?
00:24:38Okay, come on.
00:24:41Wait.
00:24:43I have an idea.
00:24:46Wait, where are you going?
00:24:48I'm putting myself out there.
00:24:50Yes!
00:24:51Here we go, girl.
00:24:53Okay, Martha, you can do this.
00:24:56Hey, everybody, listen up.
00:25:01Wow, there's a lot of you.
00:25:03Okay, um, uh, well, my name is Martha,
00:25:07and as you may have heard,
00:25:09Trevor Holt doesn't want to sleep with me.
00:25:12But there's more to me than that,
00:25:15so here it goes.
00:25:17Tilla James!
00:25:19You called me a clueless nerd,
00:25:21and you're right, I'm a huge nerd.
00:25:24I like to spend Saturday nights in my dorm room studying.
00:25:27I mean, last weekend was my first party.
00:25:29Can you believe that?
00:25:31I've been so busy studying
00:25:32that I think I've missed out on the important parts of college,
00:25:35like getting to know myself.
00:25:38I guess what I'm trying to say is...
00:25:42I am clueless.
00:25:46Especially when it comes to love.
00:25:48I've never slept with anyone or dated anyone,
00:25:52but I don't care that I'm a virgin.
00:25:56Because when the time is right, it will happen,
00:25:59and it will be on my terms.
00:26:01And I don't care if somebody doesn't want to sleep with me
00:26:04or if somebody doesn't like me,
00:26:06because I like me just the way I am.
00:26:12Putting myself out there?
00:26:14Check.
00:26:15I can't believe I just told everyone on campus
00:26:18that I'm a virgin.
00:26:20Yeah!
00:26:21Whoo!
00:26:22Yeah!
00:26:23Whoo!
00:26:24Whoo!
00:26:25Whoo!
00:26:26Yeah!
00:26:27Yeah!
00:26:28Whoo!
00:26:29Yeah!
00:26:30Whoo!
00:26:31Whoo!
00:26:32Whoo!
00:26:33Whoo!
00:26:34Whoo!
00:26:35Whoo!
00:26:36Hi, I'm Trevor.
00:26:38Some of you may know me as something of a douche.
00:26:42I'll admit, I've been with a lot of girls,
00:26:45but that's only because before any of you knew me,
00:26:48back in high school, someone broke my heart.
00:26:52When I got to college, I slept my way around campus
00:26:55to prevent myself from getting hurt again.
00:26:57I even developed a bit of a reputation,
00:27:00and I was fine with that.
00:27:02But the other night...
00:27:05Everything changed when I met Martha.
00:27:09Martha, you're not just another one-night stand.
00:27:12You're amazing, and I'm sorry I pushed you away.
00:27:15I just, I didn't want to sleep with you
00:27:17because I wanted your first time to be special.
00:27:20And this may sound stupid coming from me,
00:27:23but I didn't want to rush it.
00:27:25I really, really like you, Martha,
00:27:28and I know I don't deserve it,
00:27:30but if you just, if you give me one more chance, I...
00:27:33Yes!
00:27:35What's that?
00:27:37I said yes, I will give you one more chance, Trevor Holt.
00:27:43Whoo!
00:27:45Whoo!
00:27:47Whoo!
00:27:49Whoo!
00:27:51Whoo!
00:27:53Whoo!
00:27:55Whoo!
00:27:57Whoo!
00:27:59Drew Longhorn!
00:28:02Longhorn, I think you're funny,
00:28:06charming, and secretly sweet,
00:28:09and hot, like, so hot!
00:28:12Ah!
00:28:14Whoo!
00:28:18Most of you already know me, but I'm Drew,
00:28:22and I really hate parties.
00:28:26Bro.
00:28:28Yeah, I always get nervous and wind up saying things I don't mean,
00:28:31hanging out with people I don't like.
00:28:33Bro.
00:28:34But today was different,
00:28:36because today I met someone I think I actually really do like.
00:28:40So maybe I don't have to go to any more of these stupid parties.
00:28:46I do love drinking, though.
00:28:49Whoo!
00:28:51Look, I know you guys think I'm, like, really mean or whatever,
00:28:56but that's just because I'm brutally honest.
00:28:58And if you don't like it, that's your problem.
00:29:01Ah!
00:29:03Whoo!
00:29:05Whoo!
00:29:07Yeah!
00:29:09Whoo!
00:29:18So there it is.
00:29:20That's how Trevor Holt, the hottest guy in school,
00:29:23started dating me, the virgin.
00:29:26But you'll just have to imagine the rest.
00:29:36I wonder if I look different now that I've...
00:29:57Hey, Dad.
00:29:58Oh, my God, you did it, didn't you?
00:30:00Did what?
00:30:01You had sex with Trevor Holt.
00:30:04Why would you say that?
00:30:06Oh, my God, you're glowing.
00:30:08I won all the deeds.
00:30:10It happened.
00:30:11I'm not a virgin anymore.
00:30:13Whoo!
00:30:17Where did you get that?
00:30:18I found it in Drew's closet this morning.
00:30:21What were you doing in Drew's closet this morning?
00:30:23Yeah, no, Mar, you're not changing the subject.
00:30:25So how was it?
00:30:27It was nice.
00:30:29Is that his hat?
00:30:30Yeah.
00:30:31It still smells like him, too.
00:30:34Oh, my God, you're so in love.
00:30:37Oh, Deb, I have to hop on the study buddy Zoom.
00:30:40I'll call you later.
00:30:41Yeah, not a chance, Mar.
00:30:42You still have two minutes, so hurry up and dish the dirt.
00:30:45Fine.
00:30:47It was romantic.
00:30:49I mean, Trevor is an amazing kisser.
00:30:52He does this thing where he kissed along my jawline.
00:30:55Oh, my God!
00:30:56Mark two minutes off of the kissing onto the good stuff.
00:30:59The kissing was the good stuff.
00:31:02What? The sex wasn't good?
00:31:04It was not the best.
00:31:07No way.
00:31:09Okay, so you know that rumor about Trevor, about his...
00:31:12Yes! God, yes.
00:31:14Sorry, yes, I know.
00:31:15So it's true?
00:31:17And it was kind of...uncomfortable?
00:31:21Yeah.
00:31:22Honestly, Mar, it's pretty uncomfortable for every girl their first time,
00:31:26no matter what their size.
00:31:28I've just been dreaming about this moment for as long as I can remember,
00:31:32and then it just happened.
00:31:35And it didn't feel great.
00:31:38I'm sorry, Mar.
00:31:39I wish they told us that.
00:31:41I wish I told you that!
00:31:43But I'm not lying when I say it does get better,
00:31:46though it just may never get better with Trevor.
00:31:49What do you mean?
00:31:50I mean, you gotta find the right match.
00:31:53Emotionally and physically.
00:31:56And then that's when things start getting real good.
00:31:59What if it wasn't good for him, either?
00:32:03I'm sure it was good for him.
00:32:05How do you know?
00:32:07He gave you his hat!
00:32:09Yeah, but he hasn't responded to any of my texts this morning.
00:32:13What if he woke up and he realized he's over me?
00:32:16Okay, first of all, he's probably still asleep,
00:32:18and secondly, I'm sending you an article on this.
00:32:20It is very sciency.
00:32:22I'm just gonna keep trying.
00:32:25That's what the article says!
00:32:27I'm gonna keep having sex with Trevor until we get it right.
00:32:30That's the spirit!
00:32:32Oh, Deb, I gotta go. I'm late for study buddies.
00:32:35Okay, call me later!
00:32:43Oh my god, seriously? You again?
00:32:46You're taking French 401?
00:32:48Yeah, Martha. I mean, who wouldn't want to take French porn?
00:32:51French what?
00:32:53French porn. The famous class on French cinema.
00:32:56I mean, it's all about hot French guys and threesomes.
00:33:01I think you're in the wrong class, Tila.
00:33:03This is an advanced history class on the French Revolution.
00:33:06Oh my god.
00:33:08I can't believe I forgot that you're such a loser.
00:33:11Bye, Martha!
00:33:13Bye!
00:33:17Hi! I can see you! Hello?
00:33:25Hi! Can you see me?
00:33:27Hello?
00:33:29I can see you.
00:33:31Oh. Is this video?
00:33:34Yes, this is a Zoom call for French 401.
00:33:36The class about the French Revolution, not porn!
00:33:38Sorry, I'm a bit of a virgin.
00:33:40I'm sorry, I'm a bit of a virgin.
00:33:43The French Revolution, not porn!
00:33:45Sorry, I'm a bit of a virgin at this.
00:33:47Sorry, what?
00:33:49It's my first time.
00:33:50Uh, okay?
00:33:52Using Zoom.
00:33:54Right, yes, of course.
00:33:56Mine too, actually. Virgin, still a virgin.
00:33:59What's this you're saying about porn?
00:34:01I was just saying that this is not a class on French porn.
00:34:04It's a class on the history of the French Revolution.
00:34:07Yeah, I know. I'm a history major.
00:34:09What's your major?
00:34:11Chemistry.
00:34:13I'm Brett, by the way.
00:34:15Martha.
00:34:19We should probably get to studying, huh?
00:34:21Yeah.
00:34:23So, what are your thoughts about Napoleon?
00:34:27Do you really think he had a small...
00:34:29I told you, this isn't French porn!
00:34:31I was going to say army.
00:34:35But I can see your mind's on something else today.
00:34:38Oh yeah, sorry.
00:34:40You're glowing. You know that?
00:34:45Do you need to grab that?
00:34:47Actually, apparently it's pretty important, so I might.
00:34:51I'll call you right back.
00:34:53I'll be here waiting.
00:34:57What is so urgent?
00:35:00Mar?
00:35:03Trevor's dead.
00:35:11Hey.
00:35:13How you doing today?
00:35:15Just another day without Trevor.
00:35:17Mar?
00:35:19It's time to take the hat off.
00:35:21I can't. It's all I have left of him.
00:35:23Yeah, it's been weeks.
00:35:25So, just take it off.
00:35:27I can't.
00:35:29It's all I have left of him.
00:35:31Yeah, it's been weeks.
00:35:33So, just take it off.
00:35:35I can't.
00:35:37It's all I have left of him.
00:35:39Take it off and wash it.
00:35:41No.
00:35:44I still can't believe it.
00:35:46There he was, just walking across the street,
00:35:48carrying his one-night stand box,
00:35:50and then bam!
00:35:52Hit by a bus.
00:35:53Thought it was a car.
00:35:54I think it was a bus.
00:35:55No, no, no. It was a car.
00:35:57A tiny car, like a Fiat.
00:35:59I still don't know why he was carrying a one-night stand box.
00:36:02I heard that when they found him,
00:36:04he had a pink thong on his face.
00:36:06Wonderful!
00:36:07The love of my life died wearing a thong on his face,
00:36:09and it wasn't even mine.
00:36:11It's like I never knew love before Trevor,
00:36:15and now I will never know love again.
00:36:17One sec.
00:36:22Where was I?
00:36:23Oh, yeah.
00:36:24Maybe I should just join a convent.
00:36:26Do they take nuns if you're almost a virgin?
00:36:28Okay.
00:36:29Mara, I love you.
00:36:31I do.
00:36:32But enough is enough.
00:36:33I cannot sit here and watch you hollow in despair, okay?
00:36:39Trevor, yes, he's dead, and yes, that's sad,
00:36:42but it is time to move on.
00:36:45I can't move on, Deb. I loved him.
00:36:47You knew him for one week.
00:36:49He has been dead for four.
00:36:51He has been dead for longer than you knew him.
00:36:54Sorry.
00:36:55That's harsh.
00:36:56It's just that Trevor would want you to be happy,
00:37:01and he would want you to find love.
00:37:04Yeah, maybe you're right.
00:37:07Hang on one more second.
00:37:10It's Brett.
00:37:11He's going to be late for our study zoom again.
00:37:14Speaking of moving on.
00:37:17Oh, God.
00:37:18No way.
00:37:19Brett is not my choice.
00:37:20What?
00:37:21Of course he is.
00:37:22He's hot.
00:37:23And alive.
00:37:24He's also always late, would rather surf than study,
00:37:28but gets straight A's by practically sleeping through class.
00:37:31So you're just jealous because he's smarter than you?
00:37:33All I'm saying is that we don't have chemistry.
00:37:36Oh.
00:37:39What?
00:37:40Nothing.
00:37:41It's just, this is nice.
00:37:43I've missed you.
00:37:45And I've really missed not telling you about the 25 times I had sex with Dream Longhorn.
00:37:5025 times?
00:37:52Oh, 26 actually.
00:37:54Oh, my God.
00:37:55So, how was the sex?
00:37:57Oh, my God.
00:37:58It's amazing.
00:37:59Really?
00:38:00Remember when I told you that when you meet your match, it gets really good?
00:38:03Well, he is my game set match.
00:38:06Tennis!
00:38:07What made the sex so good?
00:38:10Well, he takes direction very well.
00:38:13You give him direction?
00:38:14Of course.
00:38:15Yes.
00:38:16How else is a girl supposed to get what she needs?
00:38:18And girl, I got what I needed last night.
00:38:22Go off.
00:38:23You're blushing.
00:38:24What?
00:38:25No, no, no.
00:38:26But you should be.
00:38:27Why?
00:38:28Sex is a beautiful thing.
00:38:31What did he do that made it so good?
00:38:35Well, remember how you kissed him at the drink or dare party?
00:38:38Yeah, I remember.
00:38:41The night that Trevor pretended to be my boyfriend.
00:38:44Yeah, remember this like crazy tongue thing that he did and he licked your whole face off?
00:38:48Mm-hmm.
00:38:49Let's just say that works better elsewhere.
00:38:54That was the night that Trevor gave me my first real kiss.
00:38:58The night that forever changed my life.
00:39:01Oh, my God.
00:39:02Martha, stop it.
00:39:04What?
00:39:05Am I just too sad for you?
00:39:06Yeah, actually.
00:39:07You're really sad, Martha.
00:39:09Because you know what?
00:39:10I'm your best friend and all we ever talk about is you.
00:39:12When was the last time we talked about me?
00:39:14Literally just now.
00:39:16I have been sleeping with Drew for a month and you just heard about it.
00:39:21Because all we ever talk about is Trevor, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor.
00:39:25He's dead.
00:39:26Trevor Holt.
00:39:27I'm sorry that I'm trying to process the death of my boyfriend.
00:39:30He was not your boyfriend.
00:39:33He was just some guy that you lost your virginity to.
00:39:37You're being a bitch.
00:39:38Good.
00:39:39Bye.
00:39:48What do you want?
00:39:49Martha.
00:39:50Oh.
00:39:51Hi, Drew.
00:39:52What do you want?
00:39:53I was just calling to do a little undercover work.
00:39:56Yeah?
00:39:57You know, a little secret detective.
00:39:58Just tell me what you want, Drew.
00:40:00Okay, sorry.
00:40:01I was just wondering, what's Deb's favorite color?
00:40:04Oh, sorry.
00:40:06It's orange.
00:40:07Thanks.
00:40:08Sorry to bother you.
00:40:09Yeah, no problem.
00:40:10Sorry I snapped at you.
00:40:11I've just been having not a great day.
00:40:14That's Trev's hat, isn't it?
00:40:16Yeah.
00:40:18I miss him so much.
00:40:20I've never had a friend die before.
00:40:22Me neither.
00:40:23I got to get something off my chest.
00:40:26What?
00:40:27Trevor's death was my fault.
00:40:29You were there?
00:40:30No, but he called me that morning.
00:40:32He told me that he was really serious about you,
00:40:35and I didn't believe that he'd be serious
00:40:38until he got rid of the one-night stand box.
00:40:42We were going to burn the box together.
00:40:45He got hit when he was on his way over.
00:40:48Drew, that doesn't make it your fault.
00:40:51That doesn't make it your fault.
00:40:53Well, it feels like it.
00:40:54They say Trevor tried to get out of the way,
00:40:56but his ankle seized up, and he couldn't move.
00:41:01Stupid old injury.
00:41:03Sorry, what injury?
00:41:05You know, Trevor hurt his ankle during football.
00:41:08Really?
00:41:09Yes, and he hurt it again like three weeks before he died.
00:41:11You didn't know that?
00:41:12I didn't know him then.
00:41:14What? I thought you guys were in love.
00:41:17We met the week before he died.
00:41:19What a whirlwind romance.
00:41:21Yeah, I guess you could say that.
00:41:23So, did you ever get to meet his twin sister?
00:41:25Trevor had a twin?
00:41:26Yeah, Taylor.
00:41:28Super hot.
00:41:29She goes to school here, too.
00:41:31I guess I didn't meet her.
00:41:33You know, I should probably introduce Deb to my family soon, too.
00:41:36Just in case.
00:41:37In case you die?
00:41:39I think we're ready to take the next step
00:41:41to make it official.
00:41:43That's actually sweet.
00:41:45Yeah, I need to go buy her some orange flowers.
00:41:48Hey, Drew, what was Trevor's favorite color?
00:41:51The dude loved blue.
00:41:53You know he was almost going to go to Duke
00:41:54just because of school colors?
00:41:56He almost went to Duke?
00:41:57Yeah.
00:41:58I guess there's a lot you didn't know about him.
00:42:00I guess so.
00:42:01Anyways, thanks for the intel, Martha.
00:42:03Catch you later.
00:42:09Oh, study buddies!
00:42:14Hello?
00:42:17Hey!
00:42:18Wasn't sure if you were going to make it.
00:42:20Yeah, sorry.
00:42:21I'm late.
00:42:22No, don't apologize.
00:42:23I've been late a thousand times.
00:42:26It's something I'm working on.
00:42:29You okay?
00:42:30Yeah, Deb and I just got in a big fight about Trevor.
00:42:34Your ex-boyfriend who died?
00:42:36Yeah, and then Drew called me
00:42:38and told me that I didn't really know him.
00:42:40Wow, that's dickish.
00:42:42Well, he didn't actually say that,
00:42:44and anyway, he's right.
00:42:46How are you and Deb in a fight about someone who's dead?
00:42:49She thinks I'm wallowing and I need to move on.
00:42:52Well, I think you should take as much time as you need.
00:42:55You know, someone once told me
00:42:56it takes half the amount of time you're in the relationship
00:42:59to get over them.
00:43:00So, it should have taken me three and a half days.
00:43:03Ha ha ha ha!
00:43:07You're not kidding.
00:43:10I only knew him for a week,
00:43:12and we were in a fight for, like, half of that.
00:43:15I'm so confused.
00:43:16And he wasn't even my real boyfriend.
00:43:18I mean, we had sex, so he wasn't, like, not my boyfriend,
00:43:21but why am I telling you all this?
00:43:23No, no, this is good, this is good.
00:43:24It's starting to make more sense now.
00:43:26What, that I'm a fool?
00:43:28No, that you're still processing.
00:43:30You know, it all happened so fast.
00:43:32Give yourself time.
00:43:33It'll heal.
00:43:35Thanks, Brett.
00:43:37Oh, it's Deb.
00:43:39Do you mind if I answer this?
00:43:40Go for it.
00:43:41I'll just be here reading about Napoleon's small army.
00:43:50Hey, Deb.
00:43:51Martha.
00:43:52Hey, Mar, I am so sorry.
00:43:55I owe you a huge apology.
00:43:56Martha? Hello?
00:43:57No, I do.
00:43:58You were just trying to help me.
00:44:00And you know what? You're right.
00:44:01I barely knew him.
00:44:02Did you know he almost went to Duke?
00:44:04Duke?
00:44:05Ugh.
00:44:06Anyway, I'm really sorry for being a selfish friend,
00:44:09and I promise I will always be here to listen to stories about Drew's tongue game.
00:44:14I should not be listening to this.
00:44:16And I'm sorry, too, Mar.
00:44:18Having sex for the first time is such a big deal,
00:44:21and then waking up the very next day and finding out
00:44:23that the guy you lost your virginity to is dead.
00:44:28Oh, my God.
00:44:30Oh, my God.
00:44:33Could you hear all of that?
00:44:35Yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah.
00:44:37I mean, I wasn't listening, but...
00:44:39How about you guys finish up your conversation, and then we can pick this up?
00:44:42Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, bye.
00:44:44Oh, my God!
00:44:53Hey, Deb, I really can't talk right now.
00:44:55Brett and I have a big project due tomorrow, and he's late with his part again.
00:45:00Deb?
00:45:02Deb, what's wrong?
00:45:06Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
00:45:09You're pregnant?
00:45:10I don't even know how to hold it.
00:45:12I peed on it.
00:45:13Oh.
00:45:15I thought you guys used condoms.
00:45:17We use so many.
00:45:19We have so much sex and use so many.
00:45:23Well, they do say the effectiveness is only 98%,
00:45:26so this is a fascinating case study.
00:45:28Martha!
00:45:29Sorry, not being helpful.
00:45:33Are you going to keep it?
00:45:35I don't know.
00:45:36I have so many plans for my career.
00:45:38I don't think I'm ready to be a mom.
00:45:40Well, what did Drew say?
00:45:42He doesn't know.
00:45:43Deb, you have to tell him.
00:45:45I can't.
00:45:46He's taking me to see his parents tonight.
00:45:48He's taking me to see his parents tonight.
00:45:50Pink!
00:45:51He told me they're super traditional, and they think Drew's a virgin,
00:45:55and they're going to think that I corrupted their son.
00:45:57Okay, Deb.
00:45:58Drew loves you.
00:46:00I know.
00:46:01He'll be supportive.
00:46:02And I'm sure his parents will come around, too.
00:46:04Oh, that's him.
00:46:06What do I do?
00:46:07You tell the truth!
00:46:09Okay, I'll call you later.
00:46:10Okay.
00:46:11Good luck.
00:46:12Beep, beep, beep.
00:46:17Well, hello, my beautiful lady.
00:46:19I require your assistance in selecting the appropriate attire for this evening.
00:46:22What do you think?
00:46:23Blue?
00:46:24Orange?
00:46:25Orange.
00:46:26It matches my dress.
00:46:28Is that new mascara you're wearing?
00:46:30You look smoldering.
00:46:32Um, Drew B., I have something that I need to tell you.
00:46:37Oh, I already know what you're going to say.
00:46:39You do?
00:46:40You're afraid my mom's going to make you eat cheese.
00:46:43Cheese?
00:46:44But don't worry.
00:46:45I already explained the whole veganism thing to her anyway.
00:46:48And she totally gets it now.
00:46:50She's making vegan meatloaf for dinner.
00:46:52I love vegan meatloaf!
00:46:55So, are you excited to meet my parents tonight?
00:46:58Because they are stoked to meet you.
00:47:00Are you excited to meet my parents tonight?
00:47:02Because they are stoked to meet you.
00:47:05They're not going to be very stoked about me.
00:47:09Are you kidding me?
00:47:10They're going to absolutely love you.
00:47:12This is the first time I'm ever bringing a girl over.
00:47:14Oh, no.
00:47:16Really?
00:47:17Yeah.
00:47:18Oh, my mom's going to absolutely adore you.
00:47:21Hey, you, my lady, are perfect.
00:47:24Trust me, okay?
00:47:26I'll see you soon.
00:47:33How'd it go?
00:47:34I couldn't tell him.
00:47:36Deb, it's his baby.
00:47:37You have to tell him at some point.
00:47:39Nope.
00:47:40I just got to make it through tonight.
00:47:42Because his parents are so excited to meet me.
00:47:45And they won't be able to tell I'm pregnant because I'm just bloated.
00:47:49So, I will tell him when we get home.
00:47:53Oh, it's Brett.
00:47:55We got to finish this assignment.
00:47:57You got this, Deb.
00:47:59Okay.
00:48:23Oh, I think I'm going to puke more.
00:48:30Drinking on a Tuesday night, huh?
00:48:32Been there, done that.
00:48:33Oh, Tilda, sorry.
00:48:36I thought you were Martha.
00:48:37What?
00:48:38Ew.
00:48:39No.
00:48:40Hey, are you in the Longhorn's upstairs bathroom?
00:48:43Yes.
00:48:44I knew I recognized it.
00:48:47I puked there once during a ranger.
00:48:50So, is Drew having a party?
00:48:53I'm at dinner with his parents.
00:48:55Oh, the food's that bad?
00:48:57No, I'm just not feeling very well.
00:48:59Anyway, what do you want?
00:49:02Well, that's no way to treat your favorite study buddy.
00:49:06All right, listen, I need help on our French porn homework.
00:49:09Can we just talk later?
00:49:11He's like different.
00:49:13What do you mean?
00:49:15He's like different.
00:49:17What do you mean?
00:49:19Oh, my God.
00:49:20What?
00:49:21What?
00:49:22Are you pregnant?
00:49:23No.
00:49:24How can you tell?
00:49:26I have a sixth sense for these kinds of things.
00:49:29Oh, my God.
00:49:30Do you think his parents know?
00:49:32Oh, my God.
00:49:33You haven't told Drew yet, have you?
00:49:35Everything okay in there, babe?
00:49:37Yes, fantastic.
00:49:40I am just changing my tampon.
00:49:43Well, my mom said that she wanted me to bring you some seltzer water.
00:49:46She thinks you look a little flushed.
00:49:48No.
00:49:51Was it the meatloaf?
00:49:53No, Drew B., I'm just taking a real big poop.
00:49:57You just go back into dinner and I'll see you in a minute.
00:50:01Okay, let me know if you need anything.
00:50:04Will do.
00:50:07I know.
00:50:08She totally knows.
00:50:10Okay, Mrs. Longhorn is oblivious.
00:50:12She thinks all girls are angels.
00:50:14She even called me an angel one time after I threw up a liter of vodka in her bathroom.
00:50:19How do I get out of this?
00:50:21Just go back out there and tell them you were up late studying and you feel like shit.
00:50:27And then go home with Drew and fess up.
00:50:29Okay.
00:50:31Thank you, Dilla.
00:50:33That was weirdly helpful.
00:50:35No biggie.
00:50:37Are you mad at me, babe?
00:50:44No.
00:50:46Is it because I kissed Martha that one time?
00:50:48I didn't even know you back then.
00:50:50No.
00:50:52Did my parents say something that upset you?
00:50:54They ruined everything tonight.
00:50:56No, you didn't, babe.
00:50:57My mom loved you.
00:50:58She said that you're like an angel.
00:51:01If only they knew I corrupted their son.
00:51:04Babe, what are you talking about?
00:51:08Check my purse.
00:51:17Um, what am I looking for?
00:51:25Oh, my God.
00:51:27I'm so sorry.
00:51:29Yeah!
00:51:31Woo!
00:51:32Oh, man!
00:51:33What?
00:51:34I thought you'd be devastated.
00:51:36What about your parents?
00:51:38Devastated?
00:51:39Babe, my mom loves babies.
00:51:43You know what this means, though, right?
00:51:51Deborah Davis, will you...
00:51:55Period!
00:51:56Period!
00:51:58Period!
00:51:59I have my period!
00:52:02Game, set, match!
00:52:15Hey, what's up?
00:52:17Guess what?
00:52:18What?
00:52:19I have an exciting study sesh planned for us tonight that doesn't include books.
00:52:23Um, how is that studying?
00:52:25You'll see.
00:52:26First, I need you to turn off all of your lights.
00:52:29Uh, what?
00:52:31Just do it.
00:52:33Quick!
00:52:35And then turn on those little twinkly lights above your bed.
00:52:39Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to learn anything?
00:52:42Martha, a little trust, please.
00:52:45So are you going to tell me what we're doing, or...
00:52:48The History Channel is streaming in a polybiopic, which covers everything in our current chapter.
00:52:54Really?
00:52:55Yeah, and I thought we could watch it together.
00:52:57That actually sounds fun.
00:52:59I'm going to send you the link.
00:53:01Ooh, I wish I had popcorn or something.
00:53:04Yeah, that would be nice.
00:53:06Alright, I'm going to start it.
00:53:13Oh wait, hold on one second.
00:53:24Weird!
00:53:25This takeout delivery guy just showed up and I didn't even order anything!
00:53:29I did.
00:53:32What?
00:53:33Yeah, I thought we'd get hungry, so I ordered us fresh food.
00:53:36Because of Napoleon.
00:53:38Uh, I'm sorry.
00:53:39Not to be a downer or anything, but this isn't studying.
00:53:43It's not supposed to be.
00:53:45Huh?
00:53:46It's a date, Martha.
00:53:50Hi?
00:53:51Oh, uh, sorry, I'm confused.
00:53:55I've been wanting to ask you out, but I wasn't sure if you were ready yet after Trevor.
00:54:01So I thought I'd act like it was a study thing and see how you felt at the end.
00:54:06That's actually really sweet.
00:54:08Brett, but this is not going to work.
00:54:11Why?
00:54:12Are you kidding me? We're study buddies!
00:54:15What's going to happen if this date doesn't go well and then things get awkward
00:54:18and we get a bad grade on the assignment and then I flunk out of class?
00:54:21Okay, if we won't study buddies, then would you be interested in me?
00:54:27Well, yeah, I guess.
00:54:32Why are you blushing?
00:54:33I didn't say the word virgin.
00:54:35Brett!
00:54:36Look, my motto is to live in the now.
00:54:38So worrying about how this could get awkward in the future, it's pointless.
00:54:43Okay.
00:54:44And if it does get awkward, I'll still be glad I tried.
00:54:47That's a bad choice.
00:54:49I live my life from one awkward moment to the next and I do not recommend it.
00:54:54Well, you should. You know, tons of good things come out of scary conversations.
00:54:58Uh, such as?
00:55:00Such as going on a date with a girl you like.
00:55:02If you're not doing things that scare you, you're not living life.
00:55:10You know what?
00:55:11I guess you have a point.
00:55:13Alright, let's do this date.
00:55:17Excellent.
00:55:19Bon Appetit.
00:55:21These reforms brought rejoicing to many.
00:55:24So, question.
00:55:27If you knew you were going to die in the next 30 days, how would you spend the next month?
00:55:32Well, this month I'm in the chem lab for like 30 hours and then-
00:55:35But you're going to die.
00:55:37Dead.
00:55:38Why would you go to the chem lab?
00:55:39Because I'm mid-experiment.
00:55:41Martha, burn the planner.
00:55:44I like plans. I like to know what's going to happen next.
00:55:47Is this date putting you on edge?
00:55:49No.
00:55:50Are you having just a little bit of fun?
00:55:52Yes.
00:55:53But you don't know what I have planned next.
00:55:56Oh no.
00:55:57No, I'm not going to do anything crazy.
00:55:59I just think sometimes you're so worried about checking off boxes
00:56:03that you're going to miss out on what's happening right in front of you.
00:56:06You're an eat dessert first kind of person, aren't you?
00:56:09You know it.
00:56:12Okay, if I was going to die in 30 days, I'd go to the beach more.
00:56:19Amazing.
00:56:20I'd spend all my money on an expensive designer jacket.
00:56:24There you go.
00:56:26And I'd find someone to kiss. A lot.
00:56:30Me too. Kissing's the best.
00:56:32Kissing's the best.
00:56:34I know.
00:56:35What's your favorite place to be kissed?
00:56:38I guess I'd have to say my sharp edges.
00:56:43What does that mean?
00:56:45My jawline, collarbone, even my fingers.
00:56:49It kind of reminds me where I start and stop.
00:56:53This is embarrassing.
00:56:55No, I think it's sexy.
00:56:57What about you?
00:56:58Where in the world would you like to be kissed?
00:57:01Like in your apartment or walking down the street?
00:57:06The ocean.
00:57:07Wow, that sounds dreamy.
00:57:09It is.
00:57:10Have you ever had sex on a beach?
00:57:12No, I'm kind of inexperienced, remember?
00:57:15Right, right. Well, don't is what I was going to say.
00:57:20You don't have to do that.
00:57:21No, no, it's not. It's saying it's in your butt crack. It's horrible.
00:57:24Yeah, when they do it in the movies, it looks horrible.
00:57:30Hey, I'm sorry.
00:57:32Yeah, I didn't mean to make you feel bad.
00:57:34It's fine. It is what it is.
00:57:36You know it doesn't matter, right?
00:57:37Sure, it does. Most people my age have had tons of sex.
00:57:41There you go, checking off those boxes.
00:57:43And that is also not true.
00:57:45My roommate is a virgin.
00:57:47Great, but I don't want to die only having had sex one time and only kissing two people.
00:57:52That's pathetic.
00:57:54What if you only kissed two people, but one of them was your perfect match?
00:57:57Okay, you know what? Let's say you're right.
00:57:59What if I did only kiss two people, and what if one of them was my perfect match?
00:58:04And now he's dead.
00:58:06No, I didn't...
00:58:07Yeah, you sure did.
00:58:09So yeah, I found my guy. We kissed, we had sex, it wasn't even that good.
00:58:13It never is the first time.
00:58:14Thanks, I've been told.
00:58:16And so now he's dead, and I can either have a thousand bad kisses or never kiss anyone again.
00:58:21And you know what? If any of those kisses are anything like Drew Longhorn's, I think I'd rather kiss no one.
00:58:30Not even me?
00:58:31I think I'd rather kiss no one.
00:58:36Not even me?
00:58:53You did this, didn't you?
00:58:55I have no idea what you're talking about.
00:58:58Outside my window?
00:59:00Oh, come on, he has a sign that says, For Martha.
00:59:04Okay, alright. I asked my roommate to play romantic French music, but he insisted on playing Spanish guitar.
00:59:11That's really sweet.
00:59:13You know what? I tried, but failed.
00:59:16This has just been one complete disaster.
00:59:18No, it wasn't at all.
00:59:20No, it's okay. We can end this now. I'll call my roommate, and we'll be done with it.
00:59:24No, don't. Please. This is actually one of the best dates I've ever been on.
00:59:29No one's ever really planned a whole night like this just for me.
00:59:33Look, I realize that you haven't been on many dates, and that is fine.
00:59:38But crying in the middle of it? It's not a good sign.
00:59:45And look, I should never have pushed you so far out of your comfort zone. It's not okay.
00:59:51I'm so sorry, Brett.
00:59:55No, don't apologize.
00:59:57No, you planned the sweetest date ever, and I brought up my dead boyfriend and cried.
01:00:03Hello, I'm Martha, and I ruin everything.
01:00:06No, you didn't ruin anything.
01:00:09Because that would mean I don't like you anymore, and I think I'm into you now more than ever.
01:00:14How is that even possible?
01:00:16Because you're incredibly real.
01:00:19I'm not trying to figure out what you're thinking because, let's be honest, you say it out loud all the time.
01:00:26That's not a good thing.
01:00:28Well, I think it is.
01:00:33So, any other surprises?
01:00:37No, that was the last one.
01:00:39Then while our guitarist is on a break, I want to play you this new song I'm into.
01:00:44Okay, cool.
01:00:45But there's one condition.
01:00:47No.
01:00:48We have to dance.
01:00:49Like, in our rooms? Or you want me to come over?
01:00:53No, no, no. Stand up, right here, right now. Dance with me.
01:00:59Okay.
01:01:10Wait, hang on. I've got the best idea.
01:01:13Oh!
01:01:37That was so much fun!
01:01:39Yeah, I haven't danced like that in a long time.
01:01:42Me neither.
01:01:43Hey, I had a really great time tonight. Like, really great.
01:01:47Yeah, yeah, me too.
01:01:49Martha?
01:01:50Yeah?
01:01:51I really hope you kiss more than two people in your lifetime.
01:01:54Oh yeah? How come?
01:01:55Because I plan on being number three.
01:01:59I'd like that.
01:02:02Alright, I'll talk to you soon.
01:02:09Ah!
01:02:14Hey, nerd.
01:02:15Why are you calling me?
01:02:17Well, I heard you and Brett are talking. Or whatever.
01:02:21And that is your business how?
01:02:23Well, there's something you should know.
01:02:26About Brett.
01:02:28What?
01:02:39Woo!