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FunTranscript
00:00Give me a minute.
00:04Sheldon.
00:05Hold on. I need to figure out how to get the bucket so I can carry the mud past the dragon.
00:11Sheldon, you need to work in the morning.
00:13I know.
00:14Well, then bed, mister.
00:15Five more minutes.
00:17Really? You're gonna risk getting sleepy in the middle of your thermodynamic fluctuation seminar?
00:22You know what happens when you yawn in public?
00:24Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvula.
00:33You don't want that, do you?
00:35No.
00:38But it's a shame our society mocks the differently uvulated.
00:44Who was at the door?
00:45Uh, building manager.
00:47They have to fix a pipe, so the water will be off tomorrow from noon to two.
00:52That's unacceptable. We're supposed to be given written notice.
00:55No, no, no. It doesn't matter. We'll be at work.
00:57What if I spill tomato soup on my shirt and have to come home to change, only to find there's no water for an enzyme soak?
01:04Bye for tainted uvula, Sheldon.
01:07I'll have the chicken noodle. Good night.
01:13We're gonna have to be very quiet.
01:16I know how to get the bucket. I can turn the axe around and use the handle to reach it.
01:25Let's see.
01:28Go north. You are in a forest. Go north. You are in a forest. Go north. You are in a forest.
01:37Oh dear, I believe I'm lost. Well, I'll just have to get a fresh start tomorrow.
01:41No, no, no. You just need to map it out. Come on, I'll help you.
01:45So, you stopped at the stream and you turned north three times?
01:49Yes.
01:50You're right. You're lost. Good luck.
01:52Hi, Howard. Hi, Sheldon.
01:53Hello.
01:54Why are you holding hands? I forbid you to hold hands.
01:58Rajesh, you know Leonard and I spent the night together.
02:00Yeah, but you were just sleeping because I forboded you to have sex.
02:06The word is forbade.
02:07You sure? That doesn't sound right.
02:10Listen, Rajesh. Leonard and I have decided to see each other again.
02:14And you don't get to tell me who I can and can't have a relationship with.
02:18Actually, he can. The Hindu code of Manu is very clear in these matters.
02:25If a woman's father is not around, the duty of controlling her base desires falls to the closest male member of her family.
02:32In this case, Raj.
02:33The code also states that if she disobeys, she will be reborn in the womb of a jackal and tormented by diseases.
02:44If true, that seems like an awfully large gamble, given that the prize is Leonard.
02:54There it is, Priya. We're Indian. We believe this stuff.
02:57I think it also says that if you eat beef, you need to live with cows for three months and drink their urine.
03:03Some of it makes sense. Some of it's crazy. My point is...
03:06You have such beautiful eyes. Have you ever thought about getting contacts?
03:10I tried in the seventh grade. I could never get used to them.
03:13Oh, that's too bad.
03:14Yeah. If I had contacts, I would have been the coolest debate club president ever to be stuffed into his own cello case.
03:20If you had them on now, you could see what we're going to do next.
03:27That's okay. I can infer from context.
03:34Oh, hey. Sorry.
03:35Sorry.
03:42Check it out. He's got contacts.
03:45Listen, we need to talk about something.
03:47Oh, my God. You're breaking up with me.
03:49Why would you take me out shopping and then break up with me? That is so cruel.
03:55Leonard, I'm not breaking up with you.
03:57Oh, okay.
04:03So, what's up?
04:06I don't know.
04:07I don't know.
04:08I don't know.
04:09I don't know.
04:10I don't know.
04:11I don't know.
04:12I don't know.
04:14It's a little weird.
04:15Your ex-girlfriend hanging out here all the time.
04:18I know.
04:19I usually never see my ex-girlfriends unless their hard drives crash.
04:25I'm just saying, how would you feel if I was hanging out with my ex-boyfriend?
04:30Not great, I guess.
04:31But Penny and I are just friends.
04:32I don't care.
04:33This is a woman you have slept with.
04:35If you want her around, then I have to wonder if maybe you're not ready to move on.
04:40No, no, no, no.
04:41I'm ready.
04:42I gave up the gift of sight for you.
04:44If that's not moving on, what is?
04:47You need to cut the cord with Penny.
04:50Oh.
04:51Okay.
04:53You don't sound very confident.
04:54No, no.
04:55I'm confident.
04:56It's not like I'm unfamiliar with the get lost conversation.
04:59Although this will be the first time I'll be the one saying it.
05:04I appreciate it.
05:05Sure.
05:07Oh, God.
05:08You smell so good.
05:09Of course, that could just be my other senses getting stronger.
05:13Um, okay.
05:14Tell Bernadette to tell Priya that I'm on my way to Prague to shoot a movie with Angelina Jolie.
05:20Got it.
05:22Is it gonna be in 3D?
05:25What? I don't know.
05:26It doesn't matter.
05:27I'm gonna say 3D.
05:28That'll let her know the studio has faith in it.
05:33You're kidding.
05:343D?
05:37That's what I hear.
05:39The studio must have real faith in it.
05:44I don't know why she didn't tell me.
05:46Have you been spending time with your ex-girlfriend?
05:48No.
05:51Then why are you surprised she didn't tell you?
05:53Well, it's not as much a surprise as, you know, the other thing.
06:02What other thing?
06:04Well, if you, uh...
06:08I don't...
06:10What's the word I'm looking for?
06:12I'm not gonna help you.
06:13This is hilarious.
06:15Wanna see if we can find the cafeteria and get real coffee?
06:17Sure.
06:18We're going to the cafeteria to get some coffee.
06:20You want anything?
06:21I'm fine.
06:23It's nice that they're getting along.
06:25Your girlfriend and your ex-girlfriend are hanging out together?
06:28Oh, yeah.
06:29That can only be good for you.
06:34What are you talking about?
06:36One of them broke up with you.
06:37Do you really want her telling the other one why?
06:40I don't care.
06:42I don't have anything to hide.
06:43Good.
06:44Good.
06:45Then you have nothing to worry about.
06:48No.
06:49I do not.
06:53You are a mean little man.
06:57You'd think it'd be because my parents didn't love me,
06:59but actually they loved me a great deal.
07:04Oh, God.
07:05That is so true.
07:06Yeah, I know, right?
07:08Hey, what took you guys so long?
07:10Oh, we were just chatting.
07:12That's nice.
07:13What about?
07:14We were just comparing notes about how you are in the sack.
07:20That's funny.
07:23What if she wasn't kidding?
07:25Doesn't matter.
07:27I'm the king of foreplay.
07:29Oh, God.
07:30I feel ridiculous in this dress.
07:32You look beautiful, Lieutenant Uhura.
07:36Now prepare for...
07:38inspection.
07:41But my brother's going to hear you.
07:43Relax.
07:44He's got headphones on.
07:45And we're ten miles above Earth in a starship.
07:48Really?
07:49Ten miles?
07:50You're orbiting inside the atmosphere?
07:52Moron.
07:54I can't believe I'm wearing my brother's Halloween costume.
07:59I can't believe you think he only wears it on Halloween.
08:03Open the landing bay doors.
08:05Shuttlecraft approaching.
08:07Okay, gotta go.
08:09So, here we are.
08:11Back in bed together.
08:12Yep.
08:13Here we are.
08:18Okay, so I guess I'll just jump right in.
08:21All right.
08:25You're a naughty girl.
08:29And I want to punish you with my love.
08:36What?
08:38Not good.
08:39That's terrible.
08:40Try again.
08:41Okay, you're not naughty.
08:47You're dirty.
08:52You're a dirty girl?
08:55Oh, yes.
08:57Oh, yes.
08:59Yes, I am.
09:00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:01Okay, you're a...
09:04You're a dirty, disgusting, revolting girl.
09:11And listen to that.
09:15God, Leonard, stop talking.
09:18Just give me five minutes.
09:19I'll Google how to do this.
09:20I'll call you right back.
09:22Shh, shh, shh, shh.
09:23Just be quiet and do what I tell you.
09:25Okay, like usual, good.
09:28Take off your shirt.
09:30All righty.
09:31Shirt coming off.
09:35Ta-da, man nipples.
09:39I said be quiet.
09:40Yes, ma'am.
09:43Now take off your shorts.
09:46Taking shorts off.
09:50There we go.
09:52Naked, naked, naked.
09:55Wonderful.
09:56Now I'll take off my clothes.
09:59Cool.
10:07Uh-oh.
10:10Here I am, baby.
10:11You missed these.
10:14Damn it.
10:15Oh, Leonard, already?
10:18No, no, no, no, no.
10:23The screen froze.
10:24It's probably just buffering.
10:25Just give it a second.
10:27Fine.
10:35So how are your mom and dad?
10:39Yeah, I really don't want to talk about my parents now.
10:41Yeah, sure, sure.
10:45If your video's frozen, try resetting the TCP IP stack.
10:50Oh.
10:51Whoa.
10:54I didn't even think of that.
10:55Thanks.
10:56You're welcome.
10:57Please let me know when you and your girlfriend are done hogging the bandwidth for your self-abuse.
11:00I'm trying to stream a movie on Netflix in here.
11:04How's it going?
11:05Uh, not so good.
11:06We have to talk.
11:08Sounds serious.
11:09What's up?
11:11Okay, uh, here it is.
11:14I met this girl, and I kissed her, and I feel terrible about it, but it's done.
11:18It's never going to happen again, and I am so, so sorry.
11:22Leonard, relax.
11:23It's okay.
11:24It is?
11:25Yeah, these things happen.
11:27They happen to everybody.
11:29Oh, my God.
11:30You are amazing.
11:32I mean, I don't deserve you.
11:34What do you mean, everybody?
11:39Leonard, I didn't know if I should tell you, but I kind of cheated on you, too.
11:45Kind of?
11:48A couple of weeks ago, I slept with my ex-boyfriend, so I guess we both messed up a little.
11:57No, no, I messed up a little.
11:59You messed up a lot.
12:02Well, it's not a competition.
12:03Oh, yeah, it is, and you won.
12:18Oh, my God.