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FunTranscript
00:00Hey, Bernie. I'm home. Hello.
00:02Hi, honey.
00:04What's going on?
00:06Maybe you should have a seat.
00:08Um, okay.
00:10I know my mom's not dead. There'd be balloons.
00:14First off,
00:16know that we all love you and cherish you.
00:18Well, I wouldn't...
00:20Daddy?
00:22You're great.
00:24Can I say something?
00:26Of course.
00:28Hey, Fruit Loops.
00:32Yes, Amino. Why are you here?
00:34Well, I heard you were thinking about going back up to the space station.
00:36And as someone who's been there with you,
00:38well, you know how astronauts
00:40need to have the right stuff?
00:42Sure.
00:44The stuff you have is wrong.
00:48You don't think I did a good job up there?
00:50You did a fine job.
00:52It's just you were scared
00:54and miserable the whole time.
00:56I think what we're all trying to say
00:58is you don't seem to be remembering
01:00how traumatic the experience was for you.
01:02Like how women often forget
01:04the pain of childbirth.
01:06Like a woman. Great analogy.
01:08Fine.
01:10Maybe I was a little scared.
01:12You peed in your space suit.
01:14I'm supposed to do that.
01:16Not during the fitting.
01:20Son, do I need to remind you
01:22what you asked me to do before you went up last time?
01:24Hang on. That was just me
01:26joking around.
01:28You wanted me to shoot you in the foot.
01:30How is that not a joke?
01:32You gotta get me out of this.
01:34Shoot me in the foot.
01:36Don't forget all the other astronauts
01:38picking on you.
01:40And how you threw up in zero gravity
01:42and it floated back in your mouth.
01:44And you threw up again.
01:46And so on and so on.
01:50That was funny.
01:52Okay, so I wasn't exactly
01:54John Glenn up there.
01:56But I've changed.
01:58I'm a different man now.
02:00And I'm a little insulted that you guys
02:02don't think I can handle it.
02:04You know you're gonna have to go through survival training again.
02:06Really?
02:08You gotta get me out of this.
02:10What do you want me to do?
02:12You're perfectly healthy.
02:14Check my blood pressure again.
02:16I can get it higher. Just give me a second.
02:18Hello.
02:20Hi, Mom. How are you?
02:22How I am is not dead.
02:24But you wouldn't know that
02:26because you don't love me enough to pick up the phone.
02:28Go, go, go.
02:30You know,
02:32I could have slipped in the tub and drowned.
02:34That's what happened to your Aunt Ida.
02:38Wow.
02:50Wow.