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00:00:30Oh, God.
00:00:32Hello?
00:00:37Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:40I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:44So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:48Sue, um, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:52Um, I think I'm gonna spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:55Uh, I'm gonna lose my virginity to him.
00:00:58You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:00What? But you can't.
00:01:02I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:05Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:07You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:09This is bad.
00:01:11You know, I'm gonna tell Lexi.
00:01:13She's gonna be very unhappy about this.
00:01:22Come on, Lexi.
00:01:28Let's go.
00:01:37So, girls, what are we gonna do for our birthday?
00:01:40Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:45But this is the big one-eight.
00:01:47I mean, every year since our moms met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:01:51But this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:54So, what's something we've never done before?
00:01:57Mushrooms?
00:01:58No, not like that. Like something nice.
00:02:01Like maybe a trip.
00:02:03Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:05No.
00:02:07Sorry, Sue. I have a date.
00:02:10So do I.
00:02:12Sorry, Sue.
00:02:13Don't worry, Sue. We'll figure it out.
00:02:17Oh, flowers. Are these from you?
00:02:19Yeah, sure.
00:02:21Here you go.
00:02:23No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:26I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:29I guess, um...
00:02:31you still make me nervous.
00:02:34Oh, Jake.
00:02:39I'm sorry.
00:02:41I'm sorry.
00:02:43Oh, Jake.
00:02:47Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:50Uh, no, Jake. Not yet.
00:02:52When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:55The best night of my life.
00:02:56It will be. I promise.
00:02:58It'll always be amazing.
00:03:00With you and me.
00:03:02Together.
00:03:05Jake, no. I have to go.
00:03:07I have to work on my art project.
00:03:10You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:13but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:16Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:19The Saturday?
00:03:21Of course.
00:03:25Thanks.
00:03:27Okay. Bye.
00:03:35Bye.
00:03:43Oh, baby. You're so hot.
00:03:45I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:47Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:49What was your name again?
00:03:50Rob. Sex guy.
00:03:55Lexi is so upset she's speechless.
00:03:59Yeah, right. I bet.
00:04:05Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:09Oh, no.
00:04:11Do not compute.
00:04:13Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:18Oh, huh. Hi.
00:04:20When did you get home?
00:04:23So, is it true?
00:04:24Yes, it is.
00:04:26It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:30I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy
00:04:35and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:37So, I just think it's the right time.
00:04:40Lexi, tell her.
00:04:41Losing our virginity is one of those milestones
00:04:43we should all face together.
00:04:45On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:47Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday.
00:04:49Or maybe even, like, our 29th.
00:04:52Eight. Maybe.
00:04:55Listen, guys, I know it's tradition,
00:04:58but I'm sorry.
00:05:03I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:11But, Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:14We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:16Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:20It's not Jake.
00:05:22It's the male ideal.
00:05:24Like a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:28Right.
00:05:30Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:32I mean, it kind of sucks. I'm not really an artist.
00:05:34Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:36The point is, we should all lose our virginities together
00:05:39on the same day, and I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:42I'm waiting for a sign, and then I'll know it's right.
00:05:45Look, I can go either way.
00:05:47I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:52I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:55Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:58But if you want to do it this year,
00:06:01then maybe we all should.
00:06:04You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:10Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:13To church, to pray for you.
00:06:15I want to be first in line.
00:06:17I'm getting this is...
00:06:19Yeah, me too.
00:06:23♪♪♪
00:06:29Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:31It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:33I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:06:35Mm-hmm.
00:06:37Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this,
00:06:40but it's about sex.
00:06:43Mm-hmm.
00:06:45I mean, not me.
00:06:47I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:49Mm-hmm.
00:06:51I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:53Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll,
00:06:56but I was dressing him up as Jesus,
00:06:58and I wanted to see his thing,
00:07:00but there was nothing there.
00:07:04Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:06My best friends.
00:07:08They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:10Okay.
00:07:12Third base.
00:07:14What? No.
00:07:16Like, sex. Like, intercourse.
00:07:18With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:20I mean, they really need us intervention,
00:07:22if you know what I mean.
00:07:24All the way. Go all the way.
00:07:26What are you...
00:07:28What?
00:07:30Ah!
00:07:32How could you do...
00:07:34You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:38What?
00:07:44Yes. Yes!
00:07:46Run! Run!
00:07:48Ah!
00:07:50Damn it!
00:07:52Fucking Yankees.
00:07:56Sorry.
00:08:18Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:20Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:22I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:24Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:28I have an announcement to make.
00:08:30I want to do it.
00:08:32Do you hear me? I want to do it.
00:08:34This weekend.
00:08:36On our birthday.
00:08:38Do what?
00:08:40It. Screw.
00:08:42You know, screwing, boning,
00:08:44making the beast with two backs.
00:08:46Shagging, fucking.
00:08:50You do.
00:08:52But what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:54And what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:56Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:08:58Really?
00:09:00Well, okay, great.
00:09:02We're all in then.
00:09:04So we'll have a big pool party
00:09:06and we'll do it there.
00:09:08Right?
00:09:10Right.
00:09:12I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:16Okay.
00:09:22Hey, Frank.
00:09:24Hi, Sue.
00:09:26Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:28I don't know. Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:30Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:32Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:38Maybe.
00:09:40Hey.
00:09:42I was wondering.
00:09:44It's tomorrow night. It's for our birthday.
00:09:46Do you want to come?
00:09:48Do you think he can see up my short?
00:10:00Well, the house looks done.
00:10:02Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:04We finally turn 18.
00:10:06And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:08Well, we better get our beady sleep
00:10:10because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:12So, okay.
00:10:14We know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake.
00:10:16And I'll probably do that guy, Rod.
00:10:18But Sue, who are you going to pick to pop your chain?
00:10:20It's easy.
00:10:22I've known for the past six years,
00:10:24ever since catechism.
00:10:26What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:28I think it's a baby panda
00:10:30wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:38My soulmate.
00:10:42Chris?
00:10:44Sue, you, um,
00:10:46might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:48I mean...
00:10:50What? No. Chris is perfect.
00:10:52He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:54Plus, his name's Chris. It's a sign.
00:10:56Sue, the only sign
00:10:58is that Chris has a major case
00:11:00of gay face.
00:11:02What? He does not.
00:11:04Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:06He looks just like Justin Bieber
00:11:08with a little bit of Zac Efron
00:11:10Just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:12Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:14Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:16Okay, well,
00:11:18sweet dreams.
00:11:20See you in the morning.
00:11:28I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:30I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:40You're so perfect.
00:12:10I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:40Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:13:02Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:04Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:06Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:08Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:30Oh, my gosh.
00:13:32They're coming.
00:13:34Lexi, Cheryl, hurry!
00:13:38Ew, why?
00:13:40It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:42It's gonna be really sexy. I'm gonna spritz it.
00:13:44You're gonna die of asphyxiation.
00:13:46It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:48It's stupid. Just screw him.
00:13:50That's what he wants. That's what all guys want.
00:13:52Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:54Oh, Christ. Can I have your mouth, too?
00:13:56Anyway,
00:13:58what guys want is someone who's sexy,
00:14:00not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:02You're an idiot.
00:14:04A very smooth, plastic wrapped idiot.
00:14:08Guys, seriously, come on. Hurry up.
00:14:14Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:14:16I love it.
00:14:18Um...
00:14:20You should put that down, though, because it's like...
00:14:22It's very fragile.
00:14:24Yeah.
00:14:26Hurry up.
00:14:28Those are your anal beads, right?
00:14:30Yeah.
00:14:36Oh, my God.
00:14:50Oh, my God!
00:14:52Whoa!
00:14:54Oh, we're gonna have some fun.
00:14:56Oh, Attack of the Wet T-shirts.
00:14:58Nice!
00:15:00Oh, fuck.
00:15:02Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit.
00:15:06Happy birthday, Lex.
00:15:08No, Joanna,
00:15:10we said no gifts.
00:15:12That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:15:14but be careful, it stings.
00:15:16And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:18Oh, how did you know?
00:15:20I mean, I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:15:28Foster, such a cutie.
00:15:30Please don't touch my service tie.
00:15:32All right, sorry.
00:15:34Are you okay now?
00:15:36Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
00:15:38Okay, see you later.
00:15:44Jake!
00:15:46Hi!
00:15:48Happy birthday.
00:15:50Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:52What?
00:15:54You want a beer?
00:15:58No.
00:16:00Oh, hon.
00:16:02Yeah.
00:16:06I have your present here.
00:16:08I'll give it to you later,
00:16:10when the time's right.
00:16:12You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:14And I have a present for you
00:16:16that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:18Hey, Ralph,
00:16:20we need you to settle
00:16:22this bet over here real quick.
00:16:24What bet?
00:16:26All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:28Hey.
00:16:30How you doing?
00:16:32Hi.
00:16:40Check it out!
00:16:42Dare me?
00:16:44Dare me?
00:17:00Oh, dude, look at those!
00:17:02Are those real?
00:17:04Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:06Hey, I do move!
00:17:08Oh, all right, okay.
00:17:10I'll see you guys later.
00:17:12Bunny Bunny says,
00:17:14by the end of the day,
00:17:16I will be motorboating those kiddies.
00:17:18They're fake anyways.
00:17:20Who cares?
00:17:22Okay.
00:17:24Who cares?
00:17:26Oh, dude, dude!
00:17:28I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:32Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:17:34Here, let me.
00:17:36Joanna, no.
00:17:38Just go enjoy the party.
00:17:40Hey,
00:17:42do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:44I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:46Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:48I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:50He just, like, disappeared.
00:18:02Are these real?
00:18:04Of course they are.
00:18:06How come I've never met you before?
00:18:08I don't know, maybe he's gonna be around.
00:18:10Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:12Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:14Maybe upstairs, I don't know.
00:18:16Oh.
00:18:18Maybe he went to go get my birthday present.
00:18:20That's probably where he went.
00:18:22Go roll.
00:18:24Liquid Courage?
00:18:26Yeah.
00:18:28Atta girl.
00:18:32Vodka Cranberry?
00:18:34Shirley Temple.
00:18:36Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:38I gotta go meet Rad.
00:18:40Sue, are you okay?
00:18:42Sue, relax.
00:18:44They're just lies.
00:18:46Okay, nothing to be scared of, seriously.
00:18:48You're gonna be fine.
00:18:50Is Chris here?
00:18:56Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:58No, he does not have a gay face.
00:19:00I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:02I'm gonna do it.
00:19:06I'm gonna do this.
00:19:08Good luck.
00:19:10Hey, you can do this.
00:19:12Just act like a slut.
00:19:16Just pretend...
00:19:18you're Lexi.
00:19:30Oh, my God.
00:19:32Oh, my God.
00:19:34Oh, my God.
00:19:36Yeah, my favorite chapter
00:19:38is Psalm and Glory.
00:19:40Chris.
00:19:42Hi.
00:19:44Can I talk to you?
00:19:46In private?
00:19:48No.
00:20:00Hey, Lexi.
00:20:02What?
00:20:04Chris.
00:20:06You're so sexy.
00:20:08Ever since you played Jesus at camp,
00:20:10I've just...
00:20:12I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:14And I really want to...
00:20:16Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:18Is that wrong?
00:20:20Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:20:22Nothing. I'm sorry.
00:20:24I don't know how to do this.
00:20:26Sue.
00:20:28Sue, Sue, Sue.
00:20:30I understand
00:20:32these urges.
00:20:34And, you know,
00:20:36I like you, too.
00:20:38Really? You do?
00:20:40I do. I really do.
00:20:42I like you, too.
00:20:44Really? You do?
00:20:46I do. I really do.
00:20:48It's just...
00:20:50I've devoted a lot
00:20:52of my life to one
00:20:54certain man.
00:20:56Right. Lexi said you were...
00:20:58Jesus.
00:21:00Oh, that man.
00:21:02Of course. What did you think?
00:21:04Oh, nothing.
00:21:06So we can still do this, then?
00:21:08Oh, Sue.
00:21:10You know,
00:21:12for me,
00:21:14when I think about that man
00:21:16who died for our sins,
00:21:18when I think about him
00:21:20up there on that cross,
00:21:22so helpless yet so
00:21:24muscular
00:21:26with his strong
00:21:28thighs
00:21:30crossed over each other
00:21:32so delicately
00:21:34beneath that ragged
00:21:36loincloth,
00:21:38growing so hot,
00:21:40so sweaty under that hot,
00:21:42hot sun,
00:21:44I just feel such
00:21:46compassion.
00:21:48I think about those things, too.
00:21:50So you understand
00:21:52why I can't do this?
00:21:54Not really.
00:21:56I just find it too hard.
00:21:58It is to give in
00:22:00to carnal pleasure when
00:22:02he sacrificed so much
00:22:04for us.
00:22:06So...
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00:26:34Oh shit!
00:26:43What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:59Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:07Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:10He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:14For sure?
00:27:15I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:19That's no excuse.
00:27:20He's a dirtbag.
00:27:21How dare he?
00:27:22I know.
00:27:23It's awful.
00:27:24I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:27:28It's a text.
00:27:33It's from him.
00:27:34I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:35Okay.
00:27:36He's looking for you.
00:27:38He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:39Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:41I have to go.
00:27:42I'm going.
00:27:43No, you can't just leave.
00:27:44Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:48I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:51He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:54Either way, it's bullshit.
00:27:55I see only one option.
00:27:58I'm leaving.
00:27:59Revenge sex.
00:28:00Reve...
00:28:01I mean, what?
00:28:02What does that even mean?
00:28:03It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:09Revenge sex.
00:28:10Reve...
00:28:11I mean, what?
00:28:12What does that even mean?
00:28:13It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:18But he...
00:28:19I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:28:21He doesn't even care about me.
00:28:22I mean, why would...
00:28:23He's just into other girls.
00:28:24Trust me, he'll care.
00:28:25Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.
00:28:28To his ego.
00:28:29To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:33Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:39No, I couldn't.
00:28:40Plus, I mean, there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:44Eric!
00:28:45He's perfect!
00:28:46Eric Hall?
00:28:47Are you kidding?
00:28:49I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:28:51He likes your type.
00:28:52Really?
00:28:53And what type is that?
00:28:54He's slutty.
00:28:56Yeah.
00:28:57Trust me, he's amazing.
00:28:58I fooled around with him once.
00:28:59He has this great tongue ring.
00:29:01Oh, no.
00:29:02I could never fool around with somebody you've fooled around with.
00:29:05Okay, then.
00:29:06Fine.
00:29:07We will find someone else.
00:29:08Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:29:14Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?
00:29:17I mean, you're not going to marry the guy.
00:29:19No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:21Fine.
00:29:22If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the
00:29:25right thing, to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage and possibly
00:29:30even scar him with the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:29:34But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:38I don't know.
00:29:41But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:45I don't know.
00:29:47Trust me.
00:29:48It's going to work.
00:29:54I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:29:58Hi, Cheryl.
00:29:59Okay, enough jabbering.
00:30:01Oh, no.
00:30:13Hey.
00:30:15Happy birthday.
00:30:17Thanks.
00:30:38Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:44So...
00:30:46Happy birthday.
00:30:50Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:54But it's actually from us, U.S.
00:30:57America?
00:31:00United States?
00:31:01I know where we live.
00:31:02Right.
00:31:03Of course.
00:31:07I know where we live.
00:31:09Right.
00:31:10Of course.
00:31:12Hey, Jesus, Eric, are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:15Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:16Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:31:17I just...
00:31:18No, you're fine.
00:31:30Jake!
00:31:33So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:36Oh, I'm sorry.
00:31:38I'm sorry.
00:31:39Oh.
00:31:40I'm sorry.
00:31:41It?
00:31:42What, um...
00:31:43It.
00:31:44Like, monkey bone in and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:31:50Oh!
00:31:51Oh!
00:31:52You mean, like, uh...
00:31:54Right now?
00:31:55I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:57You know, the sooner the better.
00:32:00Yeah, sure.
00:32:01I mean, yeah, of course.
00:32:02Um, I just never realized that you...
00:32:05I mean...
00:32:07Whew.
00:32:09Uh...
00:32:11It's just...
00:32:13You're so...
00:32:15You're so beautiful.
00:32:17Okay, um...
00:32:19Uh, no kissing.
00:32:21Right.
00:32:22Um, of course.
00:32:24Sorry.
00:32:27So, um...
00:32:29Do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:32Oh, wow.
00:32:34You wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:38Now that you're leftover, you're not.
00:32:40You're fresh.
00:32:44Now that you're leftover, you're not.
00:32:46You're fresh.
00:32:48Organic.
00:32:50Yep.
00:32:52So, the wrap.
00:32:53Right.
00:32:55Um...
00:32:57Where's the, uh...
00:32:58It's, uh, the end is...
00:32:59The edge is, like, right over here.
00:33:00Oh, oh, yeah.
00:33:01Here it is.
00:33:02Yeah.
00:33:03Uh...
00:33:04Ow, ow, ow.
00:33:05Oh, sorry.
00:33:06Sorry, sorry.
00:33:07I, um...
00:33:08It's okay.
00:33:09Here.
00:33:10Do it again.
00:33:11Sorry, I, uh...
00:33:12I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:14You know what?
00:33:15Let me just lay you on the bed.
00:33:18Okay.
00:33:23Uh...
00:33:24Let me just see.
00:33:27Oh, here it is.
00:33:28I got it.
00:33:29All right.
00:33:30Just, um, pull it.
00:33:31Let me just...
00:33:33Ow!
00:33:35Oh, jeez.
00:33:36Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:37Are you okay?
00:33:38Help!
00:33:39Help!
00:33:40Uh...
00:33:42Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:45Oh, jeez.
00:33:46Here.
00:33:47Here.
00:33:48Here.
00:33:52Well, that was stupid.
00:33:55Yeah.
00:33:57How you doing tonight?
00:33:58I'm good.
00:33:59You having a good time?
00:34:00Yeah?
00:34:01Good?
00:34:02Jake!
00:34:03I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:04What?
00:34:05I can't hear you.
00:34:06I'm gonna have a beer.
00:34:07Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:08Jake!
00:34:09It's very weird.
00:34:10Upstairs.
00:34:11Yeah.
00:34:12Hold on.
00:34:13I'll take a piss.
00:34:14How much beer?
00:34:15How much beer?
00:34:16How much beer?
00:34:17How much beer?
00:34:18How much beer?
00:34:19How much beer?
00:34:20How much beer?
00:34:21How much beer?
00:34:22How much beer?
00:34:23How much beer?
00:34:24How much beer?
00:34:25How much beer?
00:34:26How much beer?
00:34:27How much beer?
00:34:28How much beer?
00:34:29I told you we can't get any more beer.
00:34:51Finally, hey, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:34:53Oh, no.
00:34:55No, no, no, don't worry about it.
00:34:57What?
00:34:59I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:03Oh.
00:35:05Well, okay.
00:35:06Okay.
00:35:20Finally.
00:35:21I, let me just get the blinds.
00:35:24Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:35:27Don't, don't worry about it.
00:35:28What?
00:35:29I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:33Oh.
00:35:35Well, okay.
00:35:36Okay.
00:35:54I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:36:09Oh.
00:36:09Oh.
00:36:10Oh.
00:36:11Oh.
00:36:12Oh.
00:36:13Oh.
00:36:14Oh.
00:36:14Oh.
00:36:22What are you doing?
00:36:24I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:36:30Um, not yet.
00:36:32More foreplay.
00:36:32Huh?
00:36:33Oh.
00:36:34Oh.
00:36:35Oh.
00:36:36Oh.
00:36:37Oh.
00:36:37Oh.
00:36:38Oh.
00:36:39Oh.
00:36:40So good.
00:36:42Oh.
00:36:44Yep.
00:36:45Oh, my jaw.
00:36:47Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:36:48Jaw.
00:36:49What?
00:36:50What?
00:36:51Ah, ah, oh.
00:36:52Ah, jeez.
00:36:53Lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:36:55Is that even a thing?
00:36:57I don't know.
00:36:59Ah.
00:37:00Are you okay?
00:37:04No, no, no, no, no.
00:37:05It's, uh, it's fine.
00:37:06I'm just embarrassed.
00:37:09It's probably TNJ or fracture, swollen.
00:37:15You sure you're okay?
00:37:17Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:37:19Okay, great.
00:37:19Have fun.
00:37:20Oh.
00:37:24Now, now, let's do it now.
00:37:26No, no, not yet, not yet.
00:37:30All right, I'm gonna come.
00:37:31I'm gonna come.
00:37:32Are you ready?
00:37:33No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:35No, no, not yet.
00:37:36Lexi, Lexi.
00:37:37Oh.
00:37:38Oh.
00:37:42Oh, no.
00:37:43No, no, not yet.
00:37:44Lexi.
00:37:44Lexi.
00:37:45Oh.
00:37:46Oh.
00:37:47No means no.
00:37:48Huh?
00:37:49Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:37:50I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:37:51It's been a really long time.
00:37:53It's been a really long time and I haven't masturbated to her or anything.
00:38:00Uh-oh.
00:38:03Oh, hey Jake.
00:38:06How you doing?
00:38:08How's it going?
00:38:09Good.
00:38:10Eric?
00:38:12Eric, help me, I'm blind, I can't see anything.
00:38:15Excuse me.
00:38:19Cheryl's in here.
00:38:24What's up, bro?
00:38:26What the fuck is...
00:38:29Hey, wait!
00:38:31Max, babe, still waiting.
00:38:39Oh, I'm sorry, I can't see, I'm blind.
00:38:43Damn it.
00:38:44I'm gonna say something to that bitch.
00:38:47Hey, you.
00:38:49You better stop making fun of the blind or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:38:54Bark!
00:38:56I'm so sorry.
00:38:57I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:39:00Max!
00:39:23Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:39:25This party's ass.
00:39:29Yeah!
00:39:33This just isn't working out.
00:39:36Nothing.
00:39:37What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:39:42I carry a lot of sticks.
00:39:44Spark it up!
00:39:46Yes!
00:39:49Oh, man!
00:39:51I love this game!
00:39:52Where's the controllers?
00:39:53We gotta put it here.
00:39:54Here, here, here.
00:39:55Okay, let me find another one.
00:40:00What is this?
00:40:04Pew, pew, pew!
00:40:05Get that thing away, Jesus!
00:40:14Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:40:17Wasn't me.
00:40:22Whoa, whoa, nice!
00:40:25Are you sitting on it or something?
00:40:29Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:40:30Nice, nice.
00:40:43Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:55Whoa!
00:40:57You are the controller.
00:40:59No, I just...
00:41:01I didn't, I swear, I...
00:41:14Hey, it's Sue.
00:41:15What's going on, man?
00:41:19It's okay.
00:41:20Hey, it's Sue.
00:41:27Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:29Yeah, I just needed to...
00:41:32Oh, sure.
00:41:34Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:40You were?
00:41:41You mean...
00:41:43Yeah.
00:41:47So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:50Could we go get a drink?
00:41:52Wow, your toilet's really...
00:41:56Do you know what?
00:41:57I gotta go.
00:41:58Happy birthday.
00:41:59No, Chris, no, that wasn't...
00:42:01I didn't...
00:42:02Oh, God, never mind.
00:42:05This was the worst idea ever.
00:42:07Never going to have sex.
00:42:10Ow.
00:42:35Hello?
00:42:36A little attention here.
00:42:38Oh, yeah, sorry.
00:42:44Lex, don't be selfish.
00:42:46Oh, right.
00:42:47Sorry.
00:42:53Oh, God.
00:42:54Oh, God.
00:42:55Oh, God.
00:42:56Oh, God.
00:42:57Oh, God.
00:42:58Oh, God.
00:42:59Oh, God.
00:43:00Oh, God.
00:43:01Oh, God.
00:43:02Oh, God.
00:43:03Oh, God.
00:43:12Jeez, who invented this stupid position, anyway?
00:43:16Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:19Screw it.
00:43:33♪
00:43:38♪
00:43:43♪
00:43:48♪
00:43:53♪
00:43:59Oh, no.
00:44:01That was bad.
00:44:03That was so bad.
00:44:16Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:21I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:25Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:29Yes, it does.
00:44:31So you're JJ?
00:44:33Uh-uh.
00:44:55Hello, welcome to 1-900-Confess.
00:44:59Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:01A nun.
00:45:02Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:09Please hold.
00:45:10Thank goodness.
00:45:141-900-Confession, how may I be of service?
00:45:17It's been one day since my last confession.
00:45:19I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:22One day?
00:45:24Ow!
00:45:29Is that too long?
00:45:30I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:33Go on.
00:45:34Okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:45:38Well, actually, I didn't. A washing machine did.
00:45:41What's her problem?
00:45:42A washing machine touched her.
00:45:46Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:45:49All right, freak, time's up.
00:45:51What? But what do I do?
00:45:52Just unplug the thing.
00:45:54No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:45:58Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:46:01I'm serious.
00:46:02Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:46:06I'll tell you this.
00:46:08Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:10No contritions?
00:46:12You broke no covenant with God. It's not in the Bible.
00:46:16So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:20Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:23Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:26Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:28Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:31Huh. God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:34He sure is. Now run along.
00:46:39Wow. How do you know all that?
00:46:42Because I'm a nun.
00:46:44Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:46Huh. Accidental masturbation.
00:46:49Who'd have thunk?
00:46:59Revenge sex. What a stupid fucking idea.
00:47:02God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:06Yeah, I admit it. I've got no game.
00:47:09I guess I just get it. I guess I don't feel good enough.
00:47:15Fucking douchebag.
00:47:17Damn it.
00:47:19Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:22You go, girl.
00:47:24What?
00:47:26What are you doing here?
00:47:28We needed some place private.
00:47:30But hey, listen, if you're serious about getting laid...
00:47:33Yeah?
00:47:34If you want someone great, I mean, really, the best ever...
00:47:39No offense.
00:47:41Frank, the blind guy?
00:47:43Really?
00:47:44Really?
00:47:45I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:48I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:50It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:53It was like we used all our senses.
00:47:56Everything.
00:47:59If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:02All right.
00:48:09What about him? Jeremy?
00:48:12Yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:48:14I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:16I don't know his last name, though.
00:48:19It's Jones. Jeremy Jones.
00:48:22This all makes sense.
00:48:24Excuse me.
00:48:26Jeremy.
00:48:27Hi.
00:48:28Hey.
00:48:29Who was on the phone?
00:48:30Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:32You'll meet her. She'll be here in like an hour.
00:48:34Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:48:43Oh.
00:48:45Hi, Frank.
00:48:47Sit.
00:48:51Oh, you meant...
00:48:53You meant the dog.
00:48:55Relax.
00:48:57You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:13Oh, I'm relaxed. I'm fine.
00:49:16Why are you biting your nail?
00:49:18I'm not.
00:49:22How did you know that?
00:49:25Corner.
00:49:29Sit.
00:49:31Roll over.
00:49:35Oh, you mean me.
00:49:38Roll over.
00:49:43Oh, you mean me.
00:49:45Oh, how do you...
00:49:46How do you want me to...
00:49:48Just lie down.
00:50:00I shouldn't even be doing this,
00:50:02but considering it a teachable moment...
00:50:06Okay.
00:50:09Oh.
00:50:12See me with your hands.
00:50:17All right.
00:50:25You know, I should really...
00:50:26I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:28Really.
00:50:32Oh.
00:50:35Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:53Frank, Frank.
00:50:55Oh.
00:50:58Oh, Frank.
00:51:01Oh, Frank.
00:51:26Yo, man.
00:51:28Yo, give me a chip.
00:51:30My chips, homeboy.
00:51:31Yo, give me a chip, man.
00:51:32My chips.
00:51:33Yo, my chip.
00:51:34Yo, give me a chip.
00:51:36My chips.
00:51:38Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:41Sorry.
00:51:49It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:52That's all.
00:51:55Oh, let me do this.
00:51:57Go ahead.
00:51:58I got it.
00:51:59I got it.
00:52:00No, really, please.
00:52:01I want to help.
00:52:02Please.
00:52:04Okay, everybody out.
00:52:06Leave.
00:52:07I have to vacuum.
00:52:20You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:22You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:23They're over here.
00:52:25I just, I see some dust over here, so...
00:52:30It's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:34It's just a dirty floor.
00:52:36Such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:52Oh, no.
00:52:57Okay.
00:52:59Oh, all right.
00:53:01I think I got all that.
00:53:03I'm just gonna, I'll see you.
00:53:14Frankie.
00:53:16Oh, my, oh.
00:53:17What was that?
00:53:18What?
00:53:20Oh, man, we gotta smoke.
00:53:22Well, we can smoke in here.
00:53:25Stop.
00:53:26Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:53:28Oh, shit.
00:53:30I'm sorry, man.
00:53:31We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:33Oh, I heard something.
00:53:34You want to join us?
00:53:35Uh, no, I'm not sure.
00:53:37Come on, you gotta do it.
00:53:38Come on.
00:53:39Seriously, guys, I need to go.
00:53:40Where's your dog, man?
00:53:41Dude, what's it like being blinded?
00:53:42It's trippy.
00:53:47Frank?
00:53:49Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:53:53Bro, you are too funny.
00:53:57Thanks, man.
00:53:58Ooh, this is some good stuff.
00:54:00I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:01Dude, I ain't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:54:04Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:06I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:10Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:11This is some good shit.
00:54:20Oh, no.
00:54:22You're the devil.
00:54:24No more.
00:54:28J.J., I mean, Jeremy,
00:54:30you have to remember that amazing time we had together,
00:54:32don't you?
00:54:34Please.
00:54:35Lex, I can't.
00:54:37I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:39I really like her.
00:54:40I'm not gonna do it.
00:54:42I'm not gonna do it.
00:54:44I'm not gonna do it.
00:54:46I'm not gonna do it.
00:54:47I'm not gonna do it.
00:54:48I got a girlfriend.
00:54:49I really like this girl.
00:54:50Fine.
00:54:51It's just so sad
00:54:53because I'm wearing this
00:54:55copeless bra,
00:54:56and I also have on crotchless panties
00:55:00with just a little string of pearl in front
00:55:03for extra stimulation.
00:55:05Oh.
00:55:10We've got, like, 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:12Perfect.
00:55:14Do it.
00:55:15Let's do it.
00:55:16Fuck me.
00:55:17Fuck me now.
00:55:22What?
00:55:23What's wrong?
00:55:24I can't.
00:55:25I can't get it in.
00:55:27Just try down there.
00:55:29It's, like, really hard.
00:55:31I can't.
00:55:32I can't.
00:55:33I can't.
00:55:34I can't.
00:55:35I can't.
00:55:36I can't.
00:55:37I can't.
00:55:38I can't.
00:55:39I can't.
00:55:40I can't.
00:55:41I can't.
00:55:42I can't get it in there.
00:55:43It's, like, desert down there.
00:55:44It's sandpaper.
00:55:45It just...
00:55:46Okay, I get the picture.
00:55:48Just try it again.
00:55:51No.
00:55:52Why is this happening?
00:55:54We fooled around before.
00:55:56I was dripping wet.
00:55:57I came, like, four times.
00:55:58Remember?
00:55:59Just do what you did then.
00:56:00Go on.
00:56:01I already did my thing.
00:56:02I already tried.
00:56:04What?
00:56:05What is different this time?
00:56:08I don't know.
00:56:09Last time...
00:56:12I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:14What?
00:56:16You're not JJ?
00:56:18But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:20How can you not be JJ?
00:56:22Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:25Where are you going?
00:56:26We're not done here.
00:56:28I can still do this.
00:56:29I just need a little bit of foreplay.
00:56:30I can do this.
00:56:32I don't need JJ.
00:56:33I don't need anyone else.
00:56:34We can do this.
00:56:37Go team.
00:56:39What?
00:56:40Just keep going.
00:56:45Jeremy?
00:56:46Are you OK?
00:56:47Shit.
00:56:49Jeremy?
00:56:57Where's Jeremy?
00:56:58Hi.
00:56:59We were just, you know, from here.
00:57:02Hey, babe.
00:57:03Just working out.
00:57:05How could you, you bastard?
00:57:10You might want to...
00:57:11What?
00:57:13What?
00:57:16Ah!
00:57:17Mariela!
00:57:19Mariela!
00:57:20You know, those aren't mine.
00:57:22These aren't all of them.
00:57:25What is wrong with you?
00:57:29I don't know.
00:57:33What is wrong with you?
00:57:37It used to be so pure.
00:57:39Well, no more.
00:57:40That's it.
00:57:41Really.
00:57:42That's the last one.
00:57:43Really.
00:57:44That's the last one.
00:58:14Cheryl?
00:58:19What is it?
00:58:20What are you doing down here?
00:58:22Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out
00:58:24and get far, far away from here.
00:58:26What?
00:58:27Why?
00:58:28Nothing.
00:58:29Just this blind guy and his dog.
00:58:32Honey, it's going to be OK.
00:58:35No, it's not OK.
00:58:38God.
00:58:39And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:40I'm sorry.
00:58:41It's Jake's.
00:58:42Jake's fault.
00:58:44That blind, cheating bastard.
00:58:46Yes.
00:58:47He is such a dickwad.
00:58:48You need to confront him.
00:58:50Yeah.
00:58:51Yeah, I need to confront him.
00:58:53I mean, it's my birthday.
00:58:54And where is he anyway?
00:58:55Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:58:57You know, you just call him here and give him
00:58:59a big piece of your mind.
00:59:00Yeah, a big piece.
00:59:01A big old chunk of my mind.
00:59:04A big piece of it.
00:59:05Yeah.
00:59:06You know, you might want to.
00:59:09You need to look hot when you break up with him.
00:59:11Yeah, you're right.
00:59:13Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:13I don't know.
00:59:20I'm sorry.
00:59:21I'm sorry.
00:59:23I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:27I got no game.
00:59:35It's not important.
00:59:43Hey.
00:59:45Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:46No, no, no.
00:59:47I really need to talk to you.
00:59:49Really, Eric.
00:59:50I can't right now.
00:59:51No, no, no, no.
00:59:52I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier.
00:59:54And I'm just embarrassed.
00:59:56And I don't want to make it up to you.
00:59:58Eric, really?
00:59:59I don't care.
01:00:00It's fine.
01:00:01No, but I do.
01:00:02I mean, I do.
01:00:03I care.
01:00:05I haven't known how to tell you.
01:00:07Maybe because I don't know how to tell you.
01:00:11Maybe because I don't know.
01:00:12I'm a little shy.
01:00:13But I was wondering or hoping that we
01:00:18could go out sometime soon.
01:00:20Because I'm going to be leaving for a little while.
01:00:22And it would be nice to go out.
01:00:24Really?
01:00:25Eric, you're shy.
01:00:26You have no game.
01:00:28No, not really.
01:00:31Yeah, no.
01:00:32I can't do this.
01:00:33Sorry.
01:00:37OK.
01:00:38All right.
01:00:40I, uh, happy birthday, then.
01:00:54Oh, I'm sorry.
01:00:55I was trying to kiss your hand.
01:01:05Wow.
01:01:10Wow.
01:01:17Here I come, baby.
01:01:18Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:23Oh.
01:01:24Eric, stop.
01:01:25Um, we can't do this.
01:01:26Oh, God, Damien.
01:01:27Not again.
01:01:28Oh, no.
01:01:29Honey, happy.
01:01:32The fuck is this?
01:01:33Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:35OK, guys, don't.
01:01:40Cheryl.
01:01:41Baby, what is this?
01:01:44Oh, gee, Cheryl.
01:01:46You're here.
01:01:47I've been looking for you all night, and you've been.
01:01:50Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:52You couldn't find me?
01:01:54What about all those girls' vaginas you were in?
01:01:56Or your penis getting sucked?
01:01:59Cheryl, honey.
01:02:00No, no.
01:02:01You can work this out.
01:02:02Baby, I love you.
01:02:03Jake, no.
01:02:04You have to go.
01:02:05Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:02:07I promise.
01:02:08No, Jake, I can't do this.
01:02:09I'm sorry.
01:02:10Cheryl, come on.
01:02:11No, Jake, please.
01:02:12Just go.
01:02:13Just go.
01:02:14I'm sorry.
01:02:15You're a heartless bitch.
01:02:16How could you do this to me?
01:02:18Yay!
01:02:19You did it.
01:02:20I'm so proud of you.
01:02:21You got your revenge sex.
01:02:22You left him a mere shell of a man.
01:02:24Um, revenge sex?
01:02:27It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:30Right.
01:02:32It all makes sense now.
01:02:35Wow, I feel really stupid.
01:02:37Eric, I'm really sorry.
01:02:40Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:43And you used me.
01:02:45Eric, please don't go.
01:02:46Please, Eric.
01:02:49Aren't you happy?
01:02:51Well, no, that's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:02:55You mean the sex?
01:02:56Was it, yeah?
01:02:57No, we didn't quite do it.
01:02:59Oh.
01:03:00You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:02Really?
01:03:03I just never found the right guy.
01:03:04Or guys.
01:03:06Anyway, we better get downstairs.
01:03:08People are starting to leave.
01:03:10I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:12I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:03:16This is bullshit.
01:03:18God!
01:03:19Oh!
01:03:20Oh!
01:03:21Suck it!
01:03:22What the?
01:03:23Get out of here!
01:03:25Yeah!
01:03:26He has good hair, though.
01:03:28Oh!
01:03:29Oh!
01:03:30Oh!
01:03:31Oh!
01:03:32Oh!
01:03:33Oh!
01:03:34Oh!
01:03:35Oh!
01:03:36Oh!
01:03:37Oh!
01:03:38Don't you puke on me.
01:03:41And don't puke on my car, either.
01:03:43Might set brakes, but I might need a vacation.
01:03:47Vacation.
01:03:48Vacation.
01:03:49Take this information through your head.
01:03:55Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:03:58Was it from sex?
01:03:59Did you pop your cork?
01:04:00I don't think so.
01:04:01Not with a guy, anyway.
01:04:03Oh, don't ask.
01:04:05Every possible object.
01:04:07It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:09It was like Transformers.
01:04:11They just all became vibrators.
01:04:13Ha!
01:04:14I told you.
01:04:15It's addicting.
01:04:18So what about Chris?
01:04:19Well, last time I saw him, he was running away
01:04:21for dear life.
01:04:22I told you he was gay.
01:04:23Oh.
01:04:24Well, I think I'm just all cramp.
01:04:27Oh.
01:04:29Oh, I think it's broken.
01:04:30So wait.
01:04:32None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:36Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:38So I was going to go grab some food.
01:04:40Can I go?
01:04:41No.
01:04:43I think I should finish up here.
01:04:45Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:47No.
01:04:49I don't know.
01:04:50For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:04:54Or something.
01:04:55Why?
01:04:56Do you know him?
01:04:57Sort of.
01:04:58Oh.
01:04:59Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:05:01just let me know.
01:05:04Love him.
01:05:05Shut it.
01:05:06You want to do it with him?
01:05:07I don't want to hear it from you.
01:05:08You want to get married?
01:05:09You want to do it?
01:05:10Zip it.
01:05:11All right.
01:05:12All right.
01:05:13Shh.
01:05:14Shh.
01:05:15Shh.
01:05:16All right.
01:05:17Shh.
01:05:18Shh.
01:05:19Shh.
01:05:20Shh.
01:05:21Shh.
01:05:22Shh.
01:05:23Shh.
01:05:24Shh.
01:05:25Shh.
01:05:26Shh.
01:05:27Shh.
01:05:28Shh.
01:05:29Shh.
01:05:30Shh.
01:05:31Shh.
01:05:32Shh.
01:05:34Shh.
01:05:35Shh.
01:05:36Shh.
01:05:37Shh.
01:05:38Shh.
01:05:39Shh.
01:05:40Shh.
01:05:41Shh.
01:05:42Shh.
01:05:43Shh.
01:05:44Shh.
01:05:45Shh.
01:05:46Shh.
01:05:47Shh.
01:05:48Shh.
01:05:49Shh.
01:05:50Shh.
01:05:51Shh.
01:05:52Shh.
01:05:53Shh.
01:05:54Shh.
01:05:55Shh.
01:05:56Shh.
01:05:57Shh.
01:05:58Shh.
01:05:59Shh.
01:06:00Shh.
01:06:01Shh.
01:06:02Shh.
01:06:03Oh, well.
01:06:04There's always next year.
01:06:25It's you.
01:06:28I've been waiting for you, JJ.
01:06:33Joanna.
01:07:03Oh, my God.
01:07:04Oh, my God.
01:07:05Oh, my God.
01:07:06Oh, my God.
01:07:07Oh, my God.
01:07:08Oh, my God.
01:07:09Oh, my God.
01:07:10Oh, my God.
01:07:11Oh, my God.
01:07:12Oh, my God.
01:07:13Oh, my God.
01:07:14Oh, my God.
01:07:15Oh, my God.
01:07:16Oh, my God.
01:07:17Oh, my God.
01:07:18Oh, my God.
01:07:19Oh, my God.
01:07:20Oh, my God.
01:07:21Oh, my God.
01:07:22Oh, my God.
01:07:23Oh, my God.
01:07:24Oh, my God.
01:07:25Oh, my God.
01:07:26Oh, my God.
01:07:27Oh, my God.
01:07:28Oh, my God.
01:07:29Oh, my God.
01:07:30Oh, my God.
01:07:31Oh, my God.
01:07:32Wow.
01:07:33That's amazing.
01:07:36Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:07:39I guess something inspired me.
01:07:42You really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:07:45Yeah, even that little cowlick he has in his hair.
01:07:50Whose?
01:07:51Eric's.
01:07:52It's him, right?
01:07:55Oh.
01:07:57Yeah.
01:07:58Oh.
01:08:00Yeah.
01:08:02I have to go see him.
01:08:07Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:191-900-CONFESS.
01:08:22Sister Therese?
01:08:24Yeah, hun?
01:08:25Um, there was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:27I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:30Oh, sure.
01:08:32It's 271.
01:08:34Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession,
01:08:36but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:39Do you think if you do something bad
01:08:41that God will forgive you?
01:08:43Like, take you back?
01:08:45Sure, hun.
01:08:46Why not?
01:08:47As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:50Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:52I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:08:55Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:08:59Sister?
01:09:01Can I get up now?
01:09:03I really gotta pee.
01:09:04No!
01:09:05Hush, you're trapped!
01:09:07Okay, honey.
01:09:08I really need to get back to work,
01:09:10but call back any time.
01:09:12I will.
01:09:13Thanks.
01:09:17Sister?
01:09:18Shut up, or I'll punish you hard, you cheap fucker!
01:09:20Mwah!
01:09:25Okay.
01:09:38Eric, wait!
01:09:42Cheryl?
01:09:44Eric, um...
01:09:46Look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:50I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:09:52At the beginning, but then at the end, I wasn't.
01:09:55I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:09:58The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:01Um...
01:10:02I...
01:10:03I do want to go out with you.
01:10:06And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:09I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:10:12and he's all over these...
01:10:13Eric!
01:10:15Come on, we gotta get going.
01:10:17Oh.
01:10:18Wow.
01:10:19Um, Cheryl, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:22Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:23Hi.
01:10:24Nice to meet you.
01:10:28Uh...
01:10:29So, um...
01:10:30Do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:10:32When I get back?
01:10:34Yeah, sure.
01:10:41Oh.
01:10:42Sorry, no kissing, right?
01:10:44No kissing.
01:10:45Oh.
01:10:53Hey.
01:11:02Hey, did you ever, uh...
01:11:03get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:07I...
01:11:08I don't even care that you hooked up with Lexi.
01:11:10Wait, what?
01:11:11I never did that.
01:11:13I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:15She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:17Oh.
01:11:18She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:21I wonder who it was.
01:11:42At least this birthday's over.
01:11:44At least this birthday's over.
01:11:57Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:00I mean, if you could just...
01:12:02I don't know, like, send me a sign?
01:12:04I don't know, like, send me a sign?
01:12:34Excuse me.
01:12:35Excuse me.
01:12:36Uh, do you know where the church is?
01:12:38It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:40Um, yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:12:42Or used to go to.
01:12:44Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:49But you're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:12:52Oh, um, I don't know.
01:13:01Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:03Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:08Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:12I don't think so.
01:13:14But thanks.
01:13:15What's your name?
01:13:16Sue.
01:13:17What's yours?
01:13:18Jesus.
01:13:20Really?
01:13:21Si.
01:13:24Maybe I could use a ride.
01:13:26Maybe I could use a ride.
01:13:43Ah!
01:13:56Ah!
01:14:26Ah!
01:14:27Ah!