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00:00:00**alarm clock**
00:00:13**alarm clock ringing**
00:00:50You
00:01:20You
00:01:33New York City
00:01:38Sometimes it feels like the center of the world
00:01:42And never like home
00:01:46My name is Berg minting March the third
00:01:50I
00:01:52Want a path the right schools the right job the right friend the right clothes
00:02:05The future was simple all I had to do was keep moving forward
00:02:13My parents died when I was very young
00:02:15I
00:02:19Before their deaths I had a perfect childhood
00:02:24I was idyllic
00:02:26But now it feels like a whole different life
00:02:30Whole different me further away I get from it the more lost I feel
00:02:36I
00:02:40Lately I began to wonder did I choose this path or did the path choose me? You're certainly
00:02:49Enthusiastic about your work and I was glad to take you on but
00:02:54Let's be honest Berg man to man. This is a high-pressure high-powered business
00:02:59Everyone wants in you need to be the best the cream of the crop and you are a hard worker
00:03:04I know I'll give you that
00:03:06But we can't keep kidding ourselves
00:03:09It's just not working out
00:03:12And like that I was cut loose
00:03:15It was a sign. I felt free
00:03:19Free to leave the concrete streets
00:03:22constant movement
00:03:25The grind the noise
00:03:29Pollution
00:03:30The endless procession of nameless faceless people I
00:03:36Felt free to go back to where I began to the last place. I felt old
00:03:43The only problem was convincing my girlfriend zoo to go with me chrome-polished espresso maker
00:03:51What would you say if I asked you to go somewhere with me
00:03:55Where
00:03:58New Hampshire, I am NOT going to New Hampshire
00:04:04It was settled
00:04:06Zoo, and I were off to my ancestral home in the foothills of New Hampshire to forge our own path
00:04:13To pick up where my parents left off and reclaim the glories of the past
00:04:27You
00:04:57I
00:05:27I
00:05:57This time
00:05:59This time
00:06:23Berg how nice to hear your voice. How are things with you?
00:06:27I'm in New Hampshire. Oh
00:06:31That's wonderful, I'll look forward to seeing you
00:06:56You
00:07:06Change this room not in 30 years
00:07:11Hmm well something's different just not the way I remember it and how is that dear?
00:07:20Didn't the living room used to be in through there
00:07:26I
00:07:30Want to get this recipe
00:07:34Really good pie
00:07:45You're sure you don't want me to walk you over. No, I remember it. There's a path off the driveway
00:07:50Right through the stone wall right through mm-hmm. Okay, I'll zoo grab the suitcases
00:07:57Okay, and my cigarettes and my cell phone
00:08:03All right, call me if you need anything
00:08:09Thanks for dinner you're welcome see you tomorrow good night
00:08:20You're gonna love this house
00:08:24No I used to spend the weekends here when I was little
00:08:29Yeah, this is
00:08:32What the hell is this I promise you that is your father's house this cannot be my father's house
00:08:39Berg I feel my nerves fraying and snapping like twigs. I promise you that is your father's house
00:08:44I
00:08:59Must ask you why I am so cold knowing that deep down. I don't really want to know
00:09:05Well, there's no heat in this house. I know that so let's call the heating guy
00:09:10They wrap the pipe so they won't freeze but there's no insulation and there's really no heat to speak of
00:09:23You know despite his rather crappy taste in houses my father he's a great man, you know
00:09:30You look ridiculous. You know, nothing's the way I remember it
00:09:34One of your father's old hats is in the closet, I think what hat the hat he always wore I
00:09:45Remember that hat
00:10:05I am phenomenally good-looking. That's the same thing. Your father said when he first put it on
00:10:23Shakespeare what are you doing?
00:10:27What's the name of that tea that great-grandpa used to drink what tea
00:10:32It's really great smells
00:10:35Smoky big red tin dad liked it, too
00:10:39shing
00:10:40Tea, that's not it. That's disgusting great. Grandpa brought back a jelly doughnut when he brought back the paper and it was Sunday
00:10:51It was Sunday and we all
00:10:55Hung out and
00:10:57They read the paper and they smoked cigars and that was the best jelly donut I ever had it was
00:11:06Thanks, don't do that. Sorry. Sorry
00:11:27I don't smoke those. Yeah, these are the ones
00:11:52Small-town life
00:11:58The good old Fitzwilliams, New Hampshire life was going about its picture-perfect
00:12:03Rockwellian way much as I had for the last hundred years
00:12:23Yesterday
00:12:27I didn't remember it being this slow
00:12:38And I couldn't help thinking that down in New York the world was moving on without me
00:12:50Apple pie from Kimball's. Thanks
00:12:57I
00:13:07Like your homemade pumpkin pie better
00:13:13What are you doing today?
00:13:16Nothing
00:13:18You could go for a walk I
00:13:22Don't have any boots
00:13:25Don't look so glum you'll think of something fun to do
00:13:30Your parents used to have loads of fun with dinner parties, they'd stay up all night and have a ball
00:13:38It's too bad your cousins aren't around of course my cousins
00:13:44Layla
00:13:45Alex Dolly
00:13:48Shawn
00:13:50Layla your average brilliant inscrutable post-feminist ice queen
00:13:56Alex known misogynist and man of leisure. No one knows what he actually does
00:14:03Dolly
00:14:05beautiful
00:14:06eccentric well-versed in Eastern disciplines knows every line of the Haggard her
00:14:13Shawn not technically a cousin, but my best friend since birth
00:14:20Godlove these were my cousins. It was only a matter of whether or not they can make it
00:14:50You
00:14:54So bill this guy is the biggest hard-on in the world
00:14:57He's trying to tell me what kind of scotch to drink
00:15:00I wouldn't talk to this guy about anything, but I'm not gonna talk about Scots with him. I mean
00:15:05He's guy who don't like this when he went to like Harvard and he's like the most annoying person you ever met
00:15:11So he comes over to my table. I'm obviously not a good big mother at all. You know
00:15:16Would that be possible?
00:15:20Oh
00:15:31How long you planning on staying Oh linear time is so confining
00:15:40Hey, mrs. Clement, how are you? Good to see you. Hey
00:15:45Hey
00:15:49What do you got there swatches
00:15:54What do you got there
00:15:55Honey, as much as I love you. I felt like our isolation from society had to come to an end my parents who lived in this
00:16:02Social world they used to have these fantastic dinner parties all the time. Did you invite your cousins?
00:16:09maybe
00:16:10Is Sean coming honey, he's the only one with the car, right
00:16:15You tell me we're going to New Hampshire to rediscover your roots
00:16:19We're here approximately two days and already look my parents had these dinner parties. All right. It's the one thing
00:16:24I remember about this place the most
00:16:27Granted my cousins are a little strange and okay dollies
00:16:31Look Sean Sean finds you attractive and honestly, honey, what man wouldn't?
00:16:37Fine
00:16:39But you listen to me
00:16:42If fuck Oh fondles my thigh once tonight, I'm gonna rip off his balls and stick him in his ears
00:16:58So Dolly, how you doing? I haven't seen you in a while
00:17:03You and Sean still dating? Sometimes. Excuse me? I'm really only attracted to Chinese men
00:17:12Sean doesn't look at all Chinese today. I don't really know any Chinese men
00:17:25How about you I hear you're making a movie how's that going
00:17:27It's a cold steel pipe up your ass every day
00:17:35Berg said you had a wonderful time at your mother's oral sex on the shake of this
00:17:44Good move got to keep a man interested
00:17:49I see you got to keep a man interested
00:17:51Good move got to keep a man interested
00:17:55Bert I see in the kitchen for a while. Yeah, just a minute, sweetie now
00:18:03I'll be right back
00:18:07Dolly is giving me the creeps
00:18:11Girlfriend has obviously got the same
00:18:14That's our sex life with the New Hampshire Borgias out there
00:18:17And if Sean ogles my breast one more time they can hear you out there
00:18:28So my little kumquat it's our first dinner party I think was a huge success
00:18:48You
00:18:55Know you throw like a girl
00:19:07Isn't this great back in New Hampshire
00:19:12first spring feeling in the air
00:19:14Toss me old pigskin around grandpa's lawn
00:19:18We could be our parents right now
00:19:22It's my father's old ball, you know
00:19:30Berg what are we doing here? Just enjoying some good clean living
00:19:36Smell that air
00:19:39God I swear the air is different up here
00:19:44No
00:19:47Definitely why do you say that because I left New York and moved up here
00:19:53What does it say that we have to graduate college move into squalid little apartments work 12-hour days at meaningless jobs
00:20:01When do we get drafted into these lives?
00:20:03conformity and ambition
00:20:05Worrying all the time about status and money. So you did get fired
00:20:10Yes
00:20:12Yes, I did. But what I said is totally true
00:20:14I was feeling that way the whole time that just didn't have the balls to do anything about it
00:20:19Why can't we live exactly the way our parents used to?
00:20:21Can't things be more like when we were children? The world doesn't change that much. I
00:20:26Want those sit-down Sunday brunches that grandpa used to make I want the picnics
00:20:29I want the lazy afternoons when the roof leaks. I want to fix it. We need firewood
00:20:34Really? I think it's fantastic. I love this whole Emersonian Walden pond thing. You've got going there
00:20:39But what does it have to do with us?
00:20:44We're lab rats
00:20:51Can't have a play without actors
00:20:58Got it
00:21:02Well, I've got nothing better to do so what is the next scene hair director
00:21:09Well, the forecast tonight calls for late spring flurries and tomorrow is the last day of the season in Mount Snow
00:21:17so
00:21:20Now my father never missed the last day of the season
00:21:22This was an activity that I knew would make our collective childhood come rushing back to us
00:21:28Many a winter our parents would bundle us up in layers upon layers and send us forth down the icy perils of New England ski hills
00:21:36We would spend hours and hours bombing down the slopes like miniature speed demons having a grand old time
00:21:42Of course, our parents would spend the day in the lodge drinking hot toddies having a grander time. We didn't get much skiing
00:21:59Did you do
00:22:01Why are you wearing a bandage? Are you drunk? Oh, I have been injured on the ski slopes
00:22:14So wait our father's like they hung out together they drank together they fought together
00:22:23Wait was this before or after nom
00:22:27How is your father
00:22:31Fine
00:22:33You miss him, don't you? No, I don't. Yes you do. No, I don't. Yes you do
00:22:41No, I don't
00:22:52Yes, you do
00:23:01Oh
00:23:22That's good to hear yes, they're all here
00:23:28Yes, he is just a second
00:23:31I
00:23:33Think Alex
00:23:36Good
00:23:39Just stuff are you gonna come up?
00:23:45When
00:23:48Yeah, he's here
00:23:52Okay
00:24:01Dad
00:24:10I'm kind of busy right now
00:24:18Look I
00:24:20Realized I should have taught you before I called him. I realized that now
00:24:25But think of the opportunity I've given you it'll be just like when you're a little kid
00:24:29He could take you hunting and and fishing it'll be great
00:24:35Berg the last time we went hunting and fishing I was a little kid. Well, that's your chance to do it all over again. I
00:24:45Don't want to go hunting and fishing come on Alex. Yes you do
00:24:52Berg you're doing it again. What you're projecting
00:24:58I
00:25:28Like
00:25:53I'm concerned. I
00:25:55Told Jerry to expect your call and you never called
00:25:59How long do you think he's gonna be willing to offer you this job if you show no interest?
00:26:06I'm sorry dad
00:26:09Just didn't get around to it
00:26:11It reflects poorly on me when I tell a friend you'll be calling and you do not even have the courtesy to pick up the telephone
00:26:19I
00:26:23I'm just really focused on the film project right now. What is this again?
00:26:28that the project I've been working on for months now the
00:26:32Matrix by way of Bertolucci the script I've been writing. I know I've told you this novel that you were writing about a year ago
00:26:38No, this is different, but I'm still working on the novel
00:26:43I
00:26:45Okay, look
00:26:46This is all fine and good
00:26:48But as I keep telling you if you wait too long to get into the game, they might not let you play
00:26:58Get me
00:27:12So I'll tell Jerry you will call on Tuesday
00:27:26I'm on try to keep those ruffians in line
00:27:29Your uncle Alex. Let me help you with your bag. Okay
00:27:33How's your head Berg my head? Oh my head. It's fine. It was nothing
00:27:39You are you leaving so soon? Yep back to work
00:27:52So, uh, how are you really Berg?
00:27:56I'm good
00:27:57Yeah, it's great to be back up in New Hampshire
00:28:00Granted it's not exactly what I envisioned
00:28:02But I think we're starting to breathe a little bit of the old life back into this place. That's good
00:28:07It sounds like a hoot
00:28:09So, when are you going back to New York?
00:28:13I'm not
00:28:15Aren't you on the lookout for new jobs down there? I was always happiest up here Berg
00:28:20You haven't lived here in 15 years, but I remember everything
00:28:24So what are you gonna do exactly what you and mom and dad did what all of you did?
00:28:29Those were different times Berg things have changed
00:28:32Look you're young the opportunities out. There are endless go back to New York make some money make a little noise in this world
00:28:47And remember if a horse bucks you off you got to get right back on again got me absolutely you bet Oh
00:28:56Uncle Alex
00:28:57You remember the doughnuts that grandpa used to bring back every Sunday sure you already got him old town road
00:29:27I
00:29:46Like one of everything
00:29:50For here
00:29:52Brewster
00:29:54Grab some boxes
00:29:55We get a live one here
00:29:58No
00:30:01No
00:30:03No
00:30:07No
00:30:09How do you know this was the best donut you ever tasted
00:30:15No
00:30:25You
00:30:47This this is very close
00:30:55I
00:31:26Hey, how you doing good? How are you good? Um, I'd like to order every type of Chinese tea that exists
00:31:34Hmm that might take some doing
00:31:38Yes, it would
00:31:55I
00:32:25I
00:32:38Want to make a toast to my grandmother
00:32:41More importantly, I want to make a toast to me for cooking this amazing dinner all by myself
00:32:47And I want to make a toast to my mother and father
00:32:51for having me and
00:32:54And I want to make a toast to our great-great grandpa who emigrated all the way from Italy
00:33:01Who crossed this great country in a covered wagon to homestead?
00:33:06to farm his land upon the sweeping plains of New Hampshire and
00:33:12That's where the story falls apart
00:33:14Dear, no one ever crossed the country in a covered wagon. Well, then who fought the Indians? No one
00:33:19Well, someone fought them yes, but no one related to us I
00:33:25Remember hearing a story about great-great-grandpa fighting the Indians. No
00:33:30No, and we're not Italian
00:33:33But this can't be I know we're Italian
00:33:36Your mother was 1 8th Italian. I'm more Italian than that
00:33:41Yes
00:33:42No, you are 1 16th Italian. I am all Italian
00:33:49No
00:33:51Well, then how come I know every line from Carmen you don't know every line from Carmen
00:33:56Yeah, I do know every line from Carmen. Oh
00:33:59We'll sing Carmen
00:34:02Okay
00:34:20I used to know it
00:34:36It's the same but it's not
00:34:39There's always more so he's
00:34:43More
00:34:44liquor more food or glamour
00:34:48And you people are very good-looking
00:34:54Remember more station wagons and Turtle Mac's
00:35:05We'll try to do better
00:35:18Oh
00:35:28Jackpot sweet sweet buttermilk
00:35:34Dude what the fuck I
00:35:40Got half a bottle of cooking sherry and some vanilla extract
00:35:47I
00:36:17I'm still
00:36:47Oh
00:37:18Oh
00:37:39That comes to
00:37:43$1,792 and 33 cents
00:37:47I
00:37:51Charge
00:38:07You really gonna tear down the sage house I'm telling you it's a travesty
00:38:11You need to sign for us down at the store. They're having some problem with your credit card. I don't
00:38:16Hello Reverend
00:38:26You parked them too close together
00:38:29Hey, you gotta spread them out, you know, then you can be seen it's more glamorous that way then
00:38:35Sort of meld with the landscape
00:38:39Dude who the hell cares
00:38:42The aesthetics of what I was trying to create may have been lost to my cousins, but they understood the drinking part
00:38:54And so we drank
00:38:57And drank
00:39:00And drank
00:39:02And drank
00:39:11I
00:39:19Felt good
00:39:20It all right
00:39:22It felt totally consistent with what my parents used to do
00:39:26My experiment was working. We were bridging the gap between generations
00:39:34Or maybe we were just drunk
00:39:36We've
00:39:39Gone over this
00:39:41Yeah, well, I still don't see why you have to go. I
00:39:44Mean having lunch with your mom is like a little slice of hell. I need my car
00:39:49Why because I don't know how long we're gonna be here. Only you know that and I need my car just
00:39:55I'll see you tomorrow night. I think you can handle your cousins by yourself for one day
00:40:00How's this going?
00:40:07No
00:40:10Back in my parents day pig roasting was standard practice
00:40:15All we needed to do was find a pig I
00:40:24Am NOT eating pig for dinner
00:40:27I don't care what Hemingway or your father did
00:40:30Look just because you're getting it from the friendly farm doesn't necessarily mean
00:40:37The family farm is a petting zoo
00:40:43Give me the phone book
00:40:46Yes. Hi. I know this may sound crazy, but I feel you should be checking the friendly farm periodically for poachers
00:40:54Mm-hmm. Well one poacher in particular
00:40:57Yes, he's wearing a very big hat
00:40:59I
00:41:06Slipped out of my grasp this morning on the premise that she was gonna have lunch with her mother
00:41:11I've had lunch with her mother and trust me. It's to be avoided at all costs
00:41:14She just wanted to get her car which let's face. It gives her more freedom for me
00:41:22Friendly farm
00:41:25Yeah
00:41:27No one eat the pig
00:41:31We're waiting on Morgan Lafaye
00:41:46Hey, we're just taking bet you wouldn't make it
00:41:57I
00:42:01Dropped everything and you can't even give me some directions. I'm dry walking down
00:42:07I followed your directions. Well, you can't have if you had so much trouble you take 495 into acting you take a right you keep
00:42:14Going for 40 minutes and you take a left of the big yellow in there is no big yellow in through the intersection of courier
00:42:18And I there is no intersection of courier and Ives in Burlington
00:42:23Burlington is in Vermont
00:42:25Well, I gave you the directions as I remembered him he drove up with me two weeks ago I was asleep
00:42:36Hey, where's your car in Burlington?
00:42:42Well Burlington's in Vermont, I'm sorry, but I'm really fascinated
00:42:48Tell me how they all ended up staying with you
00:42:51well
00:42:54The others sort of followed Berg up here
00:42:58They all seem to have plenty of free time. I
00:43:02Mean they stay busy. I'm just not sure exactly what it is. They're busy doing
00:43:08exactly
00:43:09You know, I used to have a dog like that when I was little Burke. What are you doing?
00:43:14I'm freeing this dog Berg. I think that's illegal
00:43:17Look any asshole that keeps his dog chain to a barn night and day doesn't deserve to have a dog
00:43:22Hell any asshole that keeps his dog chained up here. He doesn't deserve to have a dog
00:43:26And how do you know the?
00:43:28Assholes not at home. It's cars not in the driveway. How do you know? Somebody else doesn't live here too. He's single no girlfriend
00:43:38And how do you know he's not gonna be pulling in at any moment because he always stops at the Hancock Tavern after work
00:43:44And how do you know all this?
00:43:47Because I checked him out
00:43:49What do you guys think I do all day
00:44:19I
00:44:49Do
00:44:58Top of the morning sergeant Hennessy
00:45:01What seems to be the problem well, it appears you were up with your friends up at mr
00:45:05De bonus's house and you guys are harassing the neighbors and someone stole a dog
00:45:11But you think I stole them. Yes, I do. What proof do you have that? This is his dog. We're gonna find out
00:45:19I
00:45:34There it is
00:45:45125 Mountain Road listed to Edward to bonus damn
00:45:49You can't go around stealing dogs Berg. Look I didn't steal him sergeant Hennessy. I rescued this dog
00:45:55Look, you can't tell me this dog isn't a hell of a lot happier with me
00:45:58Besides, what are you gonna write me a ticket for dog stealing? No, I'm gonna write you a ticket for speeding
00:46:05My father wrote your father 144 speeding tickets between 1971 and 1974. Yes, I didn't know that
00:46:19Thanks and Berg return the dog by sundown. Hey, have a good day
00:46:30So I returned the dog and even got mr. De bonus to promise not to chain the poor guy up so much
00:46:36But I kept thinking about my father getting a lot of speeding tickets. I
00:46:40Guess I was becoming more and more like my old man Berg. Do you have to wander around looking like that?
00:46:45Talking about look fantastic
00:46:47Got it out of dad's trunk
00:46:54My father was a man of action he fought in wars
00:46:58He flew planes road horses. He had passions
00:47:02Principles, he wouldn't have let a dog stay chained up either. He was a writer of wrongs and I realized that that's right
00:47:18I
00:47:20Don't have a problem with the theory
00:47:24It's the working plan that concerns me what's wrong with the plan
00:47:34One break into house to steal back great-great-grandpa's portrait three get away
00:47:43It's completely sound
00:47:46Why do we want to steal great-great-grandpa's portrait we don't and it's not your great-great-grandpa
00:47:52We do and uncle Franklin would steal it back himself if he wasn't so old and cranky. I'm feeling old and cranky
00:47:58Who cares about a stupid old painting look?
00:48:00The Fitzwilliam Historical Society robbed my family of one of its treasured heirlooms when they got poor old uncle Franklin drunk and suckered him
00:48:08into signing away a fine old family portrait
00:48:11to question a family honor
00:48:15Do you have any sense of family honor
00:48:19Starting to understand why people drink so much around here
00:48:23I'm turning into a lush
00:48:45Hurry up you're pushing
00:49:07Franklin had to pay a lot of money to bail you out the whole town thinks you're insane
00:49:12They wanted to hold you for observation, I will thank uncle Franklin when I see him
00:49:17It was well meant on our part. We're gonna have to return this to the Historical Society
00:49:24Who the hell is that
00:49:33Berg we all want to know what were you thinking? I
00:49:38Did not succeed
00:49:40But far greater I
00:49:43failed spectacularly
00:50:01Can I help you bird no, I'm just waiting for my grandmother
00:50:05I
00:50:09Think annoying little lady at the library won't won't let me check out any books
00:50:17Because you're a jailbird Berg a
00:50:24Writer of wrongs father
00:50:27Writer of wrongs
00:50:29I
00:50:38Mean they can't stay here forever. Can they?
00:50:43Mrs. McNaughton, it is so good to see you. Hello Berg. Am I you've grown up
00:50:51More importantly, he's out of a slammer really Berg. It's just embarrassing
00:50:56Well, I thought it was a huge injustice that had to be
00:50:59Righted and who could have known those carpenters would blab and frankly, it would have been a little more sporting to have announced themselves
00:51:07So I'm going down to the town meeting to protest tearing down the sage house. Hope to see you there
00:51:14Look I know there's been a lot of debate on this issue
00:51:17But the consensus as I see it is everyone feels the sage house should be torn down to make more room for parking for the
00:51:24Library, we all know that the library has been complaining about parking for years
00:51:30now the buildings and grounds people are ready to go on this thing and
00:51:34Mike my feeling is that there's a consensus here and they can have the bulldozers here ready to go on Monday
00:51:40Now we have a little time left here at the meeting if anybody wants to speak on the subject
00:51:44They're welcome to come up and talk on it young man. Come on up your neck
00:51:49Please leave your name and where you're from for the record, please
00:51:54Hi
00:51:57I'm Berg. I just recently moved up here. I'm Isabel commence grandson
00:52:03First of all, I want to thank all of you for forgetting that certain unpleasantness concerning my incarceration
00:52:09Who would have known the carpenters would blab?
00:52:12But I want to assure all of you that that kind of behavior rests firmly in my past. I
00:52:17Plan on working within the system from now on
00:52:21Now
00:52:23I'm gonna talk to you a little bit about the sage house
00:52:31Look I
00:52:34Think you're making a huge mistake by tearing down the sage house
00:52:37First of all, and I'm no offense, but the last thing the library needs is more parking
00:52:42I mean, it's the size of my shoe
00:52:44I went in there the other day to find some information on cooking a pig outdoors and they had nothing
00:52:49nothing
00:52:53The sage house has so much history
00:52:56And we all have these memories of of learning to sled down Sage Hill behind the house
00:53:02Or sneaking in through the basement to play hide-and-seek
00:53:08And now you're gonna tear down another great landmark
00:53:12Well, my father wouldn't stand for it my grandfather wouldn't stand for it and I'm not gonna stand for it
00:53:23People say that change is a good thing a
00:53:26necessary thing I
00:53:28Say change is the last thing Fitzwilliam needs
00:53:31It's one of the loveliest places on earth
00:53:35Why change that
00:53:41Live free or die
00:53:46Thank you
00:53:53I
00:53:59Chow young fat and I have a big gun in Chinese
00:54:07Singtao
00:54:23Yes, they are they've literally grown up together they used to play together all the time when they were little I remember once
00:54:32For God's sakes
00:54:48Kids
00:54:53You
00:55:23You
00:55:33Hey
00:55:37Everything is just the way you like it
00:55:42The ground
00:55:45You even have me enjoying this
00:55:53That's true
00:56:23I
00:56:45Have something important to tell you guys
00:56:48There comes a time in every man's life
00:56:52As Shakespeare said in Richard
00:56:58Listen to me. I'm serious. I
00:57:02Just recently found out that I
00:57:08Have a son
00:57:10What I
00:57:12Know it's a shock. It's just as much of a shock to me. I mean, I only slept with this girl once
00:57:17But let's face it. I
00:57:19Have very strong sperm
00:57:24No way
00:57:26Perks got a little bastard Dolly. You remember that necklace? My father used to wear. I've seen it in photographs
00:57:32Would you remember it? I think so
00:57:35So I remember my father telling me that he got this necklace in Portugal did Berg's father go to Portugal
00:57:42Yes, he did and I remember the necklace
00:57:45But Berg you cannot look in a magazine and decide that he's your son
00:57:50Dad told me that he got this necklace specially made for him in Portugal and there's not another one like it in the whole world
00:57:56My first semester in college. I slept with this girl. I thought I was in love with her
00:58:00She thought the necklace was cool
00:58:01So I gave it to her and then I realized I've been insane and I tried to get in touch with her to get the
00:58:05Necklace back, but all the sudden she'd left school
00:58:10But I don't think I can offer any more definitive proof than that
00:58:13So you think because you slept with a girl once six years ago that she got pregnant
00:58:19And that's him
00:58:21Finally you're listening
00:58:24Berg what are you doing? I
00:58:28Mean we've had a pretty good thing going up here. It's been a lot of fun, but
00:58:33This I just don't get
00:58:36What's the angle?
00:58:38There isn't any angle Alex
00:58:41This is my son. Wait a second that whole thing with the magazine the necklace you were serious
00:58:48Yeah
00:58:53So, how do you know for sure
00:58:59Sometimes you just know
00:59:03Well, if that's true you've got to stop all this if you go around telling people you're liable to wind up with a kid
00:59:09On your hands. Yeah, so what's wrong with that?
00:59:12You're 25 years old
00:59:15You know, my father was 25 years old when he had me but you don't have to do this
00:59:20You could just walk away and no one would be the wiser. No Alex. That's what's wrong with the world today
00:59:25Everyone's thinking me me me and no one's willing to take responsibility for their actions. I
00:59:32Know that I have a son out there
00:59:35And that he's in an orphanage and he's all alone and I'm not gonna turn a blind eye and pretend he doesn't exist
00:59:41And Alex, I know you wouldn't either
00:59:45Yeah
00:59:47Yeah, I would
00:59:51Well, I won't
00:59:55I'm gonna do something about it
01:00:01All right, then good luck, bro
01:00:14Oh
01:00:39Fucking dick
01:00:42He said he was going over to uncle Franklin's today
01:00:52I'm really worried about Berg. Did you meet this girl? He slept with is that really the point here?
01:01:02You guys talking about Berg
01:01:06He's gone insane
01:01:08He's he's completely stressed out he's out there rescuing dogs
01:01:14He's out there searching for those doughnuts always talking about that tea looking for that tea
01:01:20Guys got a lot on his plate
01:01:38I
01:01:47Have you met this girl he slept with
01:02:00I'm late for an appointment Alex move the car
01:02:03You know as far as relatives go you guys stay
01:02:10How about this you stick you stick
01:02:33You
01:02:35You
01:02:37You
01:03:00Do you see the necklace do you see it and I think it's pretty obvious he has my chin
01:03:06Berg you're an idiot uncle Franklin. I'm telling you that's my son
01:03:11That's in model. He's getting paid thousands of dollars whose parents take him home to Greenwich, Connecticut every night and
01:03:18They feed him ice cream until he's sick. No, he's not
01:03:23Would you back up?
01:03:24look
01:03:26He looks desperately unhappy
01:03:28This is my son and he's being beaten and he's living on gruel and I expect you to do something about it. Damn it
01:03:36I'm gonna sit right here until you do
01:03:41Berg there isn't anything I would do to get you to hell out of my office
01:03:46Call me in a couple of days and for God's sake stop reading Dickens
01:03:52Sorry about this
01:03:56No problem, mr. Marsh that horse is too lazy to run uncle Franklin had stopped by to warn me that my recent antics were
01:04:03Not making it any easier for him to help me get my son. So we made a deal
01:04:08If I agreed to talk to someone I'd be able to get my son out of the way
01:04:12But if I didn't I'd have to do it myself
01:04:14I'm sorry, but I can't do that. I don't have the money to get my son out of the way
01:04:19If I agreed to talk to somebody get some help and clean up my act
01:04:25Franklin would do his best to find my son. I was all for it. I thought who better to talk to than a man of God. I
01:04:37Can't remember things what sort of things can't you remember important things
01:04:49Who's to say what's important
01:04:59Who is to say what's important that's exactly my point
01:05:04Who is to say what's important?
01:05:10Hmm
01:05:14Is this what your sermons are like
01:05:20You're very cryptic
01:05:33Well, there you go, you know you stop throwing incense and practicing rituals and all the sudden people become lost and unfocused
01:05:39I'm gonna make some notes for his next sermon
01:05:49It was surprisingly easy
01:05:56He actually put me on to the photographer
01:06:03She noticed him because he was so miserable
01:06:11She ever seen often who was happy
01:06:14Is
01:06:16It ethical to leave this child in an orphanage
01:06:21Especially when he's being beaten and eating gruel
01:06:25That boy needs to go into politics
01:06:30You're really taking the fun out of this
01:06:34Out of what
01:06:37All you do is eat and drink and dress attractively not even that attractively
01:06:44I remember Bergen his parents funeral were the tiniest blue blazer. I'd ever seen and
01:06:52You look so completely confused
01:06:56She could after that make us do better. Yeah, okay for sweatsuits
01:07:02Watch Jerry Springer
01:07:04Heatlean cuisines quit smoking
01:07:07Very social climbing assholes. Keep it up with the Joneses
01:07:10I
01:07:13Came up here in the first place
01:07:16Well, we could always request a paternity test from a picture in a magazine no, but you could come up with something you're a lawyer
01:07:26I look like an idiot in this hat
01:07:40You
01:07:53Where's your hat I don't like it makes me look like an idiot. I
01:08:00Kind of miss it
01:08:05So, what are you eating
01:08:08Is that a lean cuisine no
01:08:12Franklin called your paternity test is tomorrow
01:08:16Can't believe I'm saying that I'm not going
01:08:19What do you mean? You're not going it's all set up
01:08:23Berg you can't put a thing like that in motion and then just
01:08:28And
01:08:29I want a great-grandchild and
01:08:32Looking at your cousins. I've about given up. Hope that I'll ever get one from them
01:08:38He's
01:08:40Very lonely, I mean probably squashes poor defenseless bugs
01:08:46Besides I can't just go around saving everyone and everything all the time
01:08:50Especially when everyone's so disappointing. I
01:08:54Need to go to the city
01:08:55Get a job
01:08:57Need to make some money make a little noise in this world
01:09:01Your great-great-great-great-grandfather was English
01:09:05He was wealthy and respected and he had everything and like a good Englishman
01:09:11He went off to fight in Ireland and being a romantic fool
01:09:15He was in the country about two minutes when he fell in love with everything the landscape the people everything
01:09:22He ended up joining a small band of Irishmen fighting a losing battle and every morning
01:09:27And he wrote a letter back to his wife saying that the sunset had never looked so beautiful
01:09:34The food had never tasted better. The wine had never tasted sweeter
01:09:39He couldn't just leave because they were going to fail
01:09:44And everything was so beautiful
01:09:47Have you recently viewed Braveheart?
01:09:50No, I haven't
01:09:52Did he say anything to the crowd before they hung him he said I did not succeed but far greater I failed
01:10:02Spectacularly, I remember that you weren't there. I still remember it
01:10:10I
01:10:12Remember that you weren't there
01:10:14I
01:10:15Remember that you weren't there
01:10:18I
01:10:20still remember it I
01:10:23I
01:10:27What's this
01:10:30Berg's tea
01:10:52You
01:11:22You
01:11:52I
01:12:18Would have to say this is the best tea I've ever tasted
01:12:23You
01:12:26Know something Dolly you are an odd little duck. Well, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?
01:12:37Superman never made any money saving the world from Solomon Grundy
01:12:45The moment of truth I
01:12:48I didn't know if they were gonna take blood or urine or
01:12:54Semen but I didn't know one thing now. It's just a matter of time
01:13:01Sean what am I gonna do if I get my son? I mean, is he gonna be like a
01:13:06soccer player or a football player
01:13:09musician or an artist
01:13:11He's gonna like
01:13:12Reading or movies or math? I mean, what do I do with him every night?
01:13:20I'll babysit
01:13:22I'll babysit
01:13:24I'll babysit
01:13:26I'll babysit
01:13:28I'll babysit
01:13:30But I'm not changing any diapers
01:13:34He's six years old, I'm still not changing
01:13:37I
01:14:07What what one
01:14:34What he's coming
01:14:37He's coming early
01:15:07Oh
01:15:37Just take the damn shortcut
01:16:04Ten five I just screw it with Berg again
01:16:37I
01:17:08Are you waiting for something?
01:17:13Coming
01:17:21Contrary to popular belief I
01:17:24Don't always know what I'm doing. I
01:17:26Drags you up to New Hampshire bar just in on my grandmother's quiet life and spent the next few weeks trying to recreate something
01:17:33That probably never existed
01:17:38I got a little lost a
01:17:41Little out there
01:17:43Trying to do things the way I thought my father did
01:17:47In the end
01:17:49It all comes down to my father. I was searching for doughnuts tea
01:17:55Searching for him
01:17:58I
01:18:00Doesn't matter if he fought in Vietnam
01:18:03He was even Italian
01:18:05What matters is that he was a good father?
01:18:08And that he loved me
01:18:10Which brings me to eat it?
01:18:14Ethan gave me a choice
01:18:16When I couldn't ignore
01:18:19And for the first time I
01:18:22Knew that what I was doing
01:18:24Was right
01:18:27You
01:18:43You're dead
01:18:51Ethan yeah, dad. I was your age. My father used to take me hunting right over there
01:18:58Oh
01:19:02The gypsy case this is part of your heritage
01:19:06your mother was I
01:19:08believe
01:19:10Half Spanish
01:19:27And over
01:19:35Reason for being
01:19:37Oh
01:20:07I'm
01:20:37You
01:21:07You
01:21:37You
01:22:07You
01:22:37You
01:23:07You
01:23:37You
01:24:07You