From Michael Swaim's latest The Simpsons Taught Me video essay. #shorts #simpsons #funny #history #freemasons #thesimpsons #cartoon #youtubeshorts
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00:00In other words, getting drunk and LARPing with your friends has always been popular,
00:04and will always be popular.
00:06But how do we get from all of that to the conspiracy theories that swirl around Freemasons?
00:13Filthy germs, aren't they, Smithers?
00:15Why, what do you mean, sir?
00:18Freemasons run the country!
00:21The New World Order theory, Skull and Bones Club, and concept of the Illuminati all stem
00:27from accusations against the Freemasons, that have since mutated into tons of other theories
00:32about whatever ethnicity you'd like to blame for all of your problems.
00:36I picked Latvia!
00:37Screw you, you Latvian puppet masters!
00:40We shall never bow to the tyranny of the Crimson Bars!
00:43First of all, everyone wants their own unique identity.
00:46That's just human nature.
00:48And to do so requires othering outgroups in order to differentiate your club from the
00:53rest of the world.
00:54A good way to make clubs split is just constant infighting over petty differences and flying
01:00off the handle.
01:01Well I wouldn't have become a Freemason now if you went down on your lousy, stinking,
01:05pungent knees and begged me!
01:08I mean, sure, we all wish the Boy Scouts kept going into adulthood, but we also believe
01:14different things about how life should be led, and what kinds of cool badges and sashes
01:19or digital currencies we want to mint.
01:22For example, the dominant hierarchy Freemasons currently honor is called the Scottish Rite.
01:27Like a taekwondo class combined with a drinking game.
01:31Which actually sounds pretty awesome.
01:33The Rite has a full 33 color-coded ranks you can rise through, and is where we get the
01:39motto Order From Chaos.
01:41That's right, Thomas the Tank Engine did not invent that catchphrase, he just says
01:45it a lot.
01:46In these dreams I have.
01:47Order from Chaos.
01:49But the slow splintering of Freemasonry over the centuries isn't just about making your
01:53own club with blackjack and hookers and no homers.
01:56Sorry, not you Homer.
01:58Why not?
02:00But you let in Homer Glumplet.
02:02It says no homers.
02:05We're allowed to have one.
02:08In fact, the mysticism around the club was a deliberate attempt by two of the other dominant
02:15social clubs fighting for attention at this time in history.
02:18The Catholic and Protestant churches.
02:21See, Freemasonry, and the practice of a bunch of blue-collar workers gathering to talk shop,
02:27was a threat to the social functions the church provided in most people's lives at the time.
02:32Especially once Freemason lodges started to incorporate religious observation and Christian
02:37sermons into their meetings.
02:38Hey, did you hear about that new church where you drink and talk about bricks?
02:43Pretty sweet.