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Video Information:
Advait Learning Camp, 22.12.19, New Jersey, USA.
Context:
~ What is nervousness?
~ How to overcome nervousness?
~ How to live fearlessly?
Music Credits: Milind Date
Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquiry-gita-course?cmId=m00056
📚 Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books?
Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?cmId=m00056
➖➖➖
#AcharyaPrashant #आचार्यप्रशांत #Philosophy #BhagavadGita #vedanta
➖➖➖
Video Information:
Advait Learning Camp, 22.12.19, New Jersey, USA.
Context:
~ What is nervousness?
~ How to overcome nervousness?
~ How to live fearlessly?
Music Credits: Milind Date
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Phenomenology. Why do I get nervous in situations where I have to express myself or when I have
00:15to talk to people?
00:16What do you talk to people about?
00:17Like public speaking.
00:18What do you speak about?
00:19Anything like related to school work, I guess.
00:33Like related?
00:34Related to school work.
00:35Related to school work. Okay, right. Now, say something on school work. To me.
00:42Projects about, like, what we're reading in school, like books about nonfiction or
00:53fantasy.
00:54So say something about that. What do you read in school?
01:00Right now, unhealthy fast foods.
01:05Unhealthy fast foods, right. Tell me of a few unhealthy fast foods.
01:10McDonald's Big Mac.
01:13Tell me about that.
01:17From McDonald's, any McDonald's food.
01:20How does it look?
01:24Like a burger.
01:27It looks...
01:30Big and fat, huh? Big and fat.
01:33Yeah.
01:34Big, fat and greasy.
01:36Yeah.
01:38Now, how nervous are you when saying these things to me?
01:46Now, let's say you have to say these same things to a mirror or to a wall.
02:01To a wall, you have to talk about the Big Mac.
02:07With nobody else watching you.
02:10How nervous would you be?
02:13I wouldn't be nervous.
02:15Why? You're talking about the same thing?
02:18You're talking about exactly the same thing and expressing exactly the same content.
02:38Why wouldn't you be nervous if you were speaking to a wall or to a mirror?
02:43Because no one is watching.
02:47So the nervousness is not about speaking.
02:54Nervousness is related to public in public speaking.
02:59Yes.
03:02Yes.
03:03Which means that you can get nervous in front of the public even when you are not speaking
03:09because it actually has to do with the public rather than speaking.
03:14Right?
03:17In certain conditions, even if you are not speaking, you just have the public watching you.
03:24Even that can make you nervous because it's got to do with the public rather than the speaking or anything else.
03:30Now, what is it about the public that makes you nervous?
03:38Maybe their comments on it.
03:43And why do their comments matter and mean so much?
03:48They tell me that if it was good or not.
03:53They tell you whether you are good or not, right?
03:58Yeah.
04:00How do you know that they know you rightly?
04:05Who is closer to you?
04:13Who knows you better, you or that other fellow?
04:19Me.
04:21So who is it who is in a better position to say whether you are good or not?
04:26Me.
04:28Then why do you trust the other person?
04:30Mama told you, you can tell me.
04:48Who told you to trust others more than yourself, even when it comes to your own life,
04:59your own being?
05:03No one.
05:05But you have learned it surely from somewhere, right?
05:10Wherever it has come from, it needs to be dropped.
05:18Right?
05:19Right.
05:22There are certain matters in which others must not be allowed to have any say.
05:29When you go to a doctor, he's a subject matter expert.
05:35So he deserves to be listened to.
05:40When an electrician comes to your house, he too is a subject matter expert.
05:45He deserves to be listened to.
05:50Listen to all these experts.
05:54But there is one matter in which only you are the expert, which is your being.
06:01And the being itself is the expert about itself.
06:08You will probably understand it a few years down the line.
06:12The ones who have known this being, they have said that it is the all-knowing one.
06:19And there is nothing except it.
06:21And it knows nothing else but itself.
06:26Too complicated for you, I know.
06:28But leave it.
06:31Please understand that your reality is not something that anybody else can know.
06:41All the things that are a little external to you, like your health, like your knowledge,
06:47in all these things, others can be contributors or even assessors.
06:54But when it comes to your deep, deep value, nobody else should ever be judging you.
07:05Only you can be your own judge and be your own good judge, strict judge.
07:11Right?
07:14Do not allow others to interfere in matters where they should not be coming.
07:22So if somebody tells you, your speech today was not good enough.
07:29All right.
07:31They can say that because they are commenting on your speech.
07:37And speech is an external thing.
07:40But if somebody says you are not good enough, then don't listen to them.
07:44Because now they are not commenting on your speech.
07:47They are commenting on your being.
07:49And being is not an external thing.
07:52Probably a listener has the rights to tell you whether or not your speech is good enough.
07:59We were talking of public speaking, right?
08:02Your listener holds the right to comment on the quality of your speech.
08:11But no listener holds the right to comment on the quality of your being.
08:21Invite all feedbacks, learn from various sources.
08:26But even as you learn from everybody, never allow anybody to make you feel small or big.
08:35People are entitled to comment on your speech, on your looks, on your clothes, on your marks.
08:46Because all these are things external to you.
08:50Let them tell you your marks are not good.
08:52All right.
08:54If they tell you you are not good, don't listen to them.
08:58They may tell you that a painting you made is not worthy enough.
09:11And that is all right.
09:13They may tell you that a painting that you made is not worthy enough.
09:20And that is okay.
09:21But let them not tell you that you are not worthy enough.
09:26Will you be able to make this distinction?
09:30Do not be so dependent on others to know who you are or to know how you are doing.
09:41Right?
09:45And then you will not be nervous when you are facing them.
09:50Correct?
09:54All nervousness is because of dependency.
09:58The more you are dependent on others for your own self-worth, the more you will be afraid of the others.
10:09Right?
10:12So don't be dependent for your self-worth on others.
10:18You are good enough.
10:20You are already good enough.
10:22Your actions, your actions might sometimes not be up to the mark.
10:32But that does not mean that you are not up to the mark.
10:38Right?
10:41Actions can be improved.
10:45But the day you start taking the self as something that needs improvement,
10:52you will find that you have unnecessarily cultivated a lot of inferiority.
10:58There is no need for any of that.
11:00Right?
11:05So next time they applaud your speech,
11:11do not take that applause very seriously.
11:14And the next time they criticize your speech, do not take that very seriously.
11:22Just accept the bare facts.
11:28If they say, oh, you were not loud enough.
11:30All right.
11:31I heard that.
11:32I was not loud enough.
11:34Just take all criticism or appreciation as objective feedback.
11:41Nothing more than that.
11:44Don't be too serious about it.
11:46All right.