What Is The Best Free Activity? (The Bracket, Vol. 159)

Barstool Sports

KenJac | The Bracket

Transcript

00:00:00I'm surprised Rubik's Cube didn't make it, but going off that-

00:00:02You have to buy the Rubik's Cube.

00:00:04We were all thinking it. Everybody watching is thinking,

00:00:07where the hell is Rubik's Cube?

00:00:10What about PlayStation 5?

00:00:12Okay, welcome to The Bracket, episode 159. Today, we are debating what the best free

00:00:18activity to do is. Topic over from Nick. We have a big crew today. Tommy back,

00:00:23missed a few episodes in a row.

00:00:24Yeah, but now my weekly Chicago trips are done, so I should be here for the long haul.

00:00:29Now it's just Nate going back and forth. So you guys lost Tommy going back and forth,

00:00:32and you gained Nate. Big win for you guys.

00:00:36Yeah, yeah. I would take that in a heartbeat. We fleeced you guys.

00:00:39And Duke's coming on. And then there is one member of the crew that is not here. He's late.

00:00:45Can anybody who's watched The Bracket before guess who was late to the show?

00:00:49And he's just standing outside-

00:00:50Right there.

00:00:51Farting and trying to be- I don't know.

00:00:54Talking to Hannah Montoya.

00:00:56I knew his resolution was to be on time, and he-

00:01:00I texted him. It is currently 3.29. I texted him. We're setting up at 3.19. So that's just Rudy,

00:01:08baby. But anyway, before we get to the episode, let's talk about game time. If you watch anything

00:01:14Barcelona, you know everything about game time. Did you know that you can get tickets to Rufus

00:01:18Dussault?

00:01:19Yeah.

00:01:20That sounds like the name of a Belgian mining guy that did unspeakable crimes in the Congo.

00:01:26Closer to God than anything.

00:01:27His boiler set is good, isn't it? His boiler room?

00:01:30It should be. I feel like every DJ has a boiler room.

00:01:32I love his Burning Man.

00:01:34Yes.

00:01:34But the Don't Die guy ruined it in the background by just fucking up the vibes.

00:01:39There's always one guy in one of those videos that just fucks up the entire thing.

00:01:42He's just dancing weird.

00:01:43Have you seen the boiler room set in Tokyo?

00:01:45Oh, yeah. They get the best energy.

00:01:49I'll definitely check those ones out. Rufus Dussault,

00:01:52you can get the tickets game time pick. $194 Premier Midfield in Red Bull Stadium.

00:01:56Yep. Not even Red Bull Arena anymore. It's Sports Illustrated Stadium.

00:02:00Sports Illustrated Stadium.

00:02:01Wow.

00:02:02Yeah.

00:02:02Sports Illustrated.

00:02:03Can it come back?

00:02:04Yeah. Didn't know they had it like that anymore.

00:02:06Yeah. Didn't they go bankrupt like a year ago?

00:02:08I used to be a sucker for Sports Illustrated for kids.

00:02:11Yeah. Would not buy a stadium if I was on the brink of bankruptcy.

00:02:15Well, you can get those for $194 Premier Midfield Row 15. Damn.

00:02:20But you get those over a game time and playoffs are here,

00:02:22so there's no better way to go out and get some games other than with Game Time,

00:02:25the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports.

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00:02:38through thousands of tickets. NFL playoffs are in full swing,

00:02:40and we've got some great matchups for fans to go and see live and in person.

00:02:43Again, you can go see commies. You can go see

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00:02:49You can go see with game time. Just pull up your chosen event and turn on the game time

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00:03:15All right. First matchup as Rudy finally, finally shows up.

00:03:18What's up, Rudy? You guys told me you had a meeting.

00:03:22Yeah, well, also, Tommy, you'll be happy to know my New Year's resolution not to be late.

00:03:26I'm 100 percent so far. You are not being on time, huh?

00:03:31You literally were late, just late to this. Nick told me I had to meet.

00:03:35He had a meeting and I went to know that changed your schedule.

00:03:38Yeah. How am I going to start the bracket without both of you?

00:03:42We've been late before.

00:03:44I know that. My point being is that I'm not.

00:03:46He hasn't been late yet. He's been a good boy.

00:03:50But Rudy's here. First matchup of the day, number 12 seed versus the five seed.

00:03:54Which one of these free activities is more fun?

00:03:56Start with the 12 seed, hanging out at the mall.

00:03:58Not an activity that requires you to spend money, but one when you're a kid is fun to do.

00:04:04And that's going to be a classic.

00:04:05That was good for flirting.

00:04:07Parameters. Is this as a kid now?

00:04:09Is it the most fun, the best?

00:04:11I would say it's in whatever.

00:04:13It could be whatever point and whatever point is in its prime of use, if that makes sense.

00:04:18You know what I mean?

00:04:18I always do this, but it always ends up just being as a kid where

00:04:21I promise you it's not.

00:04:22A lot easier entertainment.

00:04:23I promise you it's not.

00:04:24Each one's at their peak.

00:04:25Yeah.

00:04:25At their peak? Okay.

00:04:26And it's most fun, right?

00:04:28Yeah. Which one is the most fun or entertaining activity, free activity?

00:04:31Enjoyable.

00:04:32Enjoyable, I guess. Yeah, that's what we're looking for here.

00:04:34And that's going up against the number five seed, pissing on a tree.

00:04:38One of the ones that Nick used to inspire this entire thing.

00:04:41Just taking a good old piss on a tree, side of the road, whatever.

00:04:44It's just nothing like it.

00:04:45A breeze at your back, pissing on a tree.

00:04:48We'll start with you, Dukes.

00:04:49Which one of these things do you like most?

00:04:50I hate peeing on a tree.

00:04:51I love peeing in the open.

00:04:52On the side of a highway, I think is a top three piss of all time.

00:04:57Just into the wind.

00:04:58In the open air.

00:05:00No target?

00:05:01So you don't like the leaves being above you?

00:05:03Yeah, you don't like being in shade.

00:05:05Do you like the thrill of being caught?

00:05:06Sometimes when the piss stream is going too hard, a little bark will chip off,

00:05:10which I don't really enjoy.

00:05:11You don't have enough piss, Brayton.

00:05:13No.

00:05:16When you're drinking out of a hose during the summer, and you got to piss outside,

00:05:21and you have a stream that's going about 300 PSI.

00:05:26Why did it have to be from a hose?

00:05:27Yeah, what?

00:05:29I just drink more water out of a hose than any other.

00:05:33I'm trying to think of what I pee on a tree,

00:05:35and it's at the park in the summertime when I'm drinking out of a hose.

00:05:38I don't drink out of a glass of water, and then I'm like,

00:05:40oh, I got to go to the bathroom.

00:05:41And then I go to my backyard, piss on a tree.

00:05:43With that said, in a mall, everything that I did when I was younger that was fun at a mall,

00:05:48like go to Brookstone and play with all the technology.

00:05:51Go to Sleepy, sleep on all the beds.

00:05:52If I did that now, I'd get arrested.

00:05:56You're playing with the technology.

00:05:59Do you think-

00:06:00Look at this guy.

00:06:01This guy is playing with too much tech.

00:06:03Can I issue a step away from the massaging chair?

00:06:06Do you have a tree next to your apartment?

00:06:09I want to issue you a tree, a challenge.

00:06:11I'll give you five years to piss in the same spot of a tree,

00:06:13and I hope it falls down.

00:06:15You can chop it down with your piss.

00:06:17So you don't like when the bark breaks off, even if it did?

00:06:20That feels good.

00:06:20That would be amazing.

00:06:21I thought you were going to say the splatter.

00:06:23The splatter could be a problem.

00:06:25It's everything.

00:06:26Yeah, the bark, the splatter, getting back on you.

00:06:29The bark comes back at you.

00:06:32What do you like about the bark coming off?

00:06:34I guess it is pretty satisfying seeing it slowly get a little moist and then fall off.

00:06:40You do not have that pressure.

00:06:41I just can't allow that.

00:06:43We have very corrosive piss.

00:06:44You guys don't have-

00:06:45I have a lot of power behind piss.

00:06:46I don't have bark chipping pressure.

00:06:48Oh, I have pressure.

00:06:49I have a notably strong piss stream.

00:06:52Because you're so far from the toilet.

00:06:54It's a philosophy.

00:06:56See, mine might be too close to the tree then, now that I'm thinking.

00:06:59Oh, dig dig dugs.

00:07:02Wait, I thought those were little dig digs.

00:07:04I thought that'd be like a small thing.

00:07:06No, if your dick's closer to the tree, it's bigger.

00:07:10But yeah, I'll go maul.

00:07:14I'll go maul.

00:07:14I can't pick tree now.

00:07:19Tommy.

00:07:20Yeah, I don't know how to follow.

00:07:21I feel like we've talked a lot about the maul as a kid.

00:07:24Going, playing there.

00:07:25It was a nightclub when you were 13.

00:07:27It was the only way to meet people from other towns.

00:07:30Meet girls, fucking fuck them and shit.

00:07:33I used to like doing the mannequin challenge with my friends.

00:07:35We'd pretend to be mannequins in the window.

00:07:37That was a lot of fun.

00:07:38Peeing outside is still great.

00:07:40I mean, I don't know if we're specifically saying tree.

00:07:42I did as a phase, as a kid, I liked to pee outside.

00:07:44To go in my backyard and pee.

00:07:45It's like, why not?

00:07:46Use of free will, as the kids say.

00:07:48But thinking back to the maul, it was just a lot of fun.

00:07:54It's a longer experience.

00:07:56You know, pee is what?

00:07:57A minute, 90 seconds, maybe.

00:07:59Maybe you're chipping bark.

00:08:00Maybe you're not.

00:08:00I'll go with the maul.

00:08:01You do go to the bathroom a lot.

00:08:02You should have the tree cutting piss, if anybody.

00:08:04Because you pee the most.

00:08:05No, I go so often that it's very weak every time.

00:08:08Oh, I thought it'd be like a muscle.

00:08:09It comes out like a mist for Tommy.

00:08:11Yeah.

00:08:11I have a mist sitting on my pants.

00:08:12My amount of pee per day that comes out is probably somewhat similar to the average human.

00:08:17But it just takes a lot of trips to get that.

00:08:19It's a very sensitive tip.

00:08:22The tip of my penis is very sensitive.

00:08:24So I feel it.

00:08:25It's not that I'm producing more piss.

00:08:26It's just like right now, even, I feel in the tip of my penis.

00:08:29I feel, oh, I've got to pee.

00:08:31Now, a lot of guys, they don't have a sensitive tip like that.

00:08:34Isn't that a kidney stone?

00:08:35No.

00:08:37No, right?

00:08:37I thought the sensation that you always had to pee was a kidney stone.

00:08:40Well, it could be prostate as well.

00:08:42It could be many things.

00:08:43Yeah.

00:08:44Or your penis is so close to your bladder.

00:08:46Yes.

00:08:47You have a tiny little penis.

00:08:49No, that's not.

00:08:49That's actually not it.

00:08:50It's actually because my tip is so fucking sensitive.

00:08:56Girls love it.

00:09:00Oh, boy.

00:09:00I submitted tree.

00:09:01I think I have to go with mall.

00:09:02I still like going around and walking around the mall.

00:09:04Because our mall, the Ohio Valley Mall, shout out, has some unique spots.

00:09:09Aladdin's Castle.

00:09:10The Ohio Valley Mall DMs me a lot on Instagram.

00:09:14What's Aladdin's Castle?

00:09:15You probably shout it out more than any other person ever has.

00:09:19Yes, that's true.

00:09:20That's 100% true.

00:09:22Aladdin's Castle was the arcade we had.

00:09:25You were taking all the girls to KB Toys, weren't you?

00:09:28Hey, come check this out.

00:09:29Big fan of KB.

00:09:30My dad owns this place.

00:09:33This is my spot.

00:09:34So this is just chilling at the mall, not buying something?

00:09:36Yeah, that was just a blast.

00:09:38I never flirted at the mall.

00:09:40You never did?

00:09:41No.

00:09:43I'm in the same boat.

00:09:44Every time I went there, I was like, oh, we're about to get it on.

00:09:47But then I just walked by like a stalker.

00:09:49You guys just walked up to girls and flirted with them?

00:09:53No, my boy Josh did.

00:09:55Okay, you're the right guy.

00:09:56I was like that guy in you.

00:09:58I was just following at a distance.

00:09:59Oh, yeah.

00:10:02I'm looking at the Ohio Valley Mall.

00:10:03They do have a weird array.

00:10:05The food court's pretty elite at malls.

00:10:07They have Fairfield Inn and Suites attached to the mall.

00:10:10But getting free samples at the mall, that's a great one.

00:10:14That definitely counts.

00:10:14Like the Sarku Japan.

00:10:17Oh, yeah, that's good stuff.

00:10:19So we're all going all chilling for the mall right now, KB.

00:10:21Yeah, it's got to be the mall.

00:10:25The world was so open.

00:10:26Everything could be yours.

00:10:28It was probably not as satisfying as it was exciting.

00:10:31But yeah, the mall is top tier.

00:10:34Reedy?

00:10:35I agree.

00:10:36Definitely exciting, but not satisfying.

00:10:37But in its heyday, the Cherry Creek Mall had Rainforest Cafe and EB Games,

00:10:42which was the OG GameStop.

00:10:44Oh, yeah.

00:10:45And man, oh man, did I love that.

00:10:48Really loved it.

00:10:49Yeah, me and my friends used to go to the mall, hit the cafe.

00:10:52Panda Express, maybe.

00:10:54EB Games.

00:10:55Try out some stuff.

00:10:56Demos.

00:10:58Be like, oh, we're going to see so many hot chicks.

00:10:59See a chick you don't know and be like, whoa, there is.

00:11:01Where is she?

00:11:02Yeah, there she is.

00:11:04Before social media, you didn't know.

00:11:07You went to discover.

00:11:08Yeah, you went to discover new chicks.

00:11:10Did you guys have the guys in the mall with like the clipboards and you go into that back room

00:11:14and they would show you movie trailers?

00:11:16You get three bucks.

00:11:17No.

00:11:17You had a red movie trailers.

00:11:19Yeah, I used to do that all the time.

00:11:20No, that sounds awesome.

00:11:21Three bucks.

00:11:22Would you expect us to say yes to that?

00:11:24I thought that was like there was like surveys.

00:11:25Yes, a bunch of survey guys at the mall.

00:11:27Really?

00:11:27I'd never had.

00:11:28I'd love to be surveyed.

00:11:30And then you go, dude, I gave me it was my first ASMR tingles.

00:11:33Oh, watching trailers in the back room of a mall.

00:11:37The guy was just like, OK, one to ten.

00:11:38How do you feel about that one?

00:11:40And it's all good.

00:11:42That's exciting.

00:11:43Ohio Valley Mall is three different Christian gift drops.

00:11:46That feels excessive.

00:11:48Don't talk.

00:11:49I love the Ohio Valley Mall.

00:11:50I want to sponsor the pod.

00:11:52So chilling at the mall is going to move on.

00:11:54Now we have the number four seat versus a 13 seat Titan matchup.

00:11:56Four seat is dropping something down a shaft.

00:11:59Yeah, you see video where someone drops a big rock down like a mine shaft or something.

00:12:04You don't get to do it very often.

00:12:05That's what makes it special.

00:12:06I don't know if I've ever dropped.

00:12:07What are we talking about a shaft?

00:12:09Like or just like a long hole, like a long like a subway hole, maybe.

00:12:13Yeah, exactly.

00:12:14Like you just hear a clatter around in the middle of a big hole.

00:12:17That is good.

00:12:17Yeah.

00:12:18And that's going up against number 13 seat.

00:12:20Great submission.

00:12:21Singing the Halos theme song in a place with good acoustics.

00:12:28Yeah, yeah.

00:12:29That one that one late submission.

00:12:31I had that one is a necessary one, especially that one.

00:12:34Everyone knows the one kid in the bathroom, right?

00:12:36The young Hawaiian boy.

00:12:37Yes, the little Hawaiian man that just belted his heart out.

00:12:41So dropping something down a long.

00:12:43We'll say like a shaft.

00:12:44It works.

00:12:44Yeah.

00:12:45Shaft versus singing the Halo song in a place with good acoustics.

00:12:47Rudy, you know, is it OK?

00:12:50Because I think of it more as like kicking a rock off a cliff, rolling a rock down.

00:12:54Save that for a different for a different conversation.

00:12:56What are we talking about?

00:12:57What does shaft mean here?

00:12:58We're saying long orifice where you can hear it.

00:13:01Does it have to be a well?

00:13:05I think it has to be manmade.

00:13:06I don't think it has to be manmade.

00:13:08You know, it's also really cool.

00:13:09Sort of similar vibe spitting from somewhere high up.

00:13:12I think it's spitting from somewhere high up and watching it fall is watching the fall.

00:13:17I love doing that.

00:13:18I think it's really underwhelming.

00:13:20Oh, the spit.

00:13:21Yeah, I do.

00:13:22Versus the rocks.

00:13:23Is this like Plinko?

00:13:24Does Plinko count at all?

00:13:26No, no, you can't see it.

00:13:27You can only be able to hear it.

00:13:28I think fortunately it doesn't.

00:13:29Yeah, you can't see where it lands.

00:13:33Yeah.

00:13:33Dropping something and not seeing.

00:13:35Yeah, it's...

00:13:37Yeah, just hearing where it...

00:13:38Dropping shit.

00:13:39Just dropping shit from high up.

00:13:40Does that count?

00:13:41What?

00:13:42Spitting?

00:13:42Yeah, we can count spitting, but it needs to be in the shaft is the important part here.

00:13:46You're hung up on shaft.

00:13:49I'm thinking...

00:13:49A big hole.

00:13:50The shaft is throwing me off.

00:13:51I'm thinking about a well.

00:13:53Like the well is a shaft.

00:13:54The well's a shaft.

00:13:55Yeah.

00:13:55Okay.

00:13:56Line shaft.

00:13:56I'm thinking of like an elevator shaft.

00:13:58Okay, it is a shaft.

00:13:59All right.

00:14:00Yeah.

00:14:00Yeah, I'm not talking like a lacrosse shaft.

00:14:01I'm thinking like a shooter pit.

00:14:04Shooter pit counts as well.

00:14:04I'm thinking like I'm at Splish Splash or an amusement park, and I'm at the top of the line,

00:14:10and I spit down there, and I watch my spit go down.

00:14:12That might be...

00:14:13That's not exactly the same as what we're talking about, but you're in the right spirit of it, I

00:14:16think.

00:14:16You mean spit in the slide?

00:14:17No, he's talking spit off like a big tower.

00:14:19No, no, like in...

00:14:19Oh.

00:14:20And it goes to the trees or something.

00:14:22Yeah.

00:14:22Splish Splash.

00:14:23So...

00:14:23You need a shaft, though.

00:14:24Yeah, you do need a shaft in this specific case.

00:14:26Then I'm voting for the fucking other one.

00:14:29Rudy.

00:14:29What was the other one?

00:14:30Halo.

00:14:32Oh.

00:14:35Yeah, I'm kind of with Tommy.

00:14:36I definitely have done the shaft thing before, but not many times.

00:14:41Then again, I would like to hear people do the Halo song, but I don't really ever remember

00:14:45doing it that much myself.

00:14:49I definitely did it in the locker room a couple times, so I'll do the Halo.

00:14:52Singing Halo.

00:14:53KB.

00:14:56I think throwing something down a shaft that's, say, dozens of feet.

00:15:00Like, I would pay to do that.

00:15:04I would pay $10 to do that.

00:15:06Yeah.

00:15:06And I just like looking down long, narrow shafts or pits.

00:15:11So I'll go that.

00:15:12One for the shaft.

00:15:14Nick.

00:15:15I think both of these have been ruined by the internet.

00:15:17People only do them now to share it.

00:15:19Guys aren't doing this for their own volition anymore.

00:15:23So I'm abstaining because these are both tainted by...

00:15:27The internet?

00:15:27Their peak, though.

00:15:29Yeah, true.

00:15:29It is.

00:15:30We are talking about their peak, and now it's subsided because of the internet.

00:15:34Fair.

00:15:34Then I'm going shaft.

00:15:36Then you're going shaft.

00:15:37I kind of want to abstain and just vote for spitting from high up.

00:15:40I think save that for a different...

00:15:42Okay.

00:15:42Then I guess I'll go shaft.

00:15:44I've never done the Halo thing.

00:15:45I was never a Halo kid.

00:15:46The other one for the shaft.

00:15:47I know it's free.

00:15:48I know it has to be free, but only one of them I would actually physically throw money down

00:15:53for the enjoyment.

00:15:54What do you mean?

00:15:55Like you would throw...

00:15:56I would throw quarters down an elevator shaft.

00:15:59Yeah.

00:15:59For how exciting that is.

00:16:01And listening to it when it goes all the way down, that harrowing feeling where it's like,

00:16:06holy shit, that was far drop.

00:16:08Nick and Rudy, you remember the scene in Lord of the Rings where the bucket goes down the shaft?

00:16:12Yes.

00:16:12Memoria?

00:16:13Yeah.

00:16:13That's satisfying.

00:16:14Yeah.

00:16:14You're full of a tuck.

00:16:15Full of a...

00:16:16Yeah.

00:16:17This guy gets it.

00:16:19So the shaft is going to move on.

00:16:20Now we have the number nine scene versus the eight scene.

00:16:22The nine scene, digging a big ass hole at the beach.

00:16:25Yeah, that's the good stuff.

00:16:28Big ass hole at the beach.

00:16:29And that's going up against number eight scene.

00:16:31I think big ass hole at the beach.

00:16:36Big ass hole at the beach.

00:16:38I'm looking at this big ass hole.

00:16:40Yeah, I dig this guy.

00:16:43And that's going up against number eight scene.

00:16:44Lying to someone that you'll never meet again.

00:16:48That's untoppable.

00:16:51That is untoppable.

00:16:55I'm trying to think of a human that's untoppable.

00:16:58Dick's too small.

00:17:00Let's go with...

00:17:01Start with you.

00:17:02Oh, you're really going through it, Dukes.

00:17:06Those are like my two favorite things in the world.

00:17:09Let's start back at Rudy.

00:17:10Let's give Dukes a second here.

00:17:11Okay, yeah.

00:17:12Rudy.

00:17:13Imagine you're digging a big hole on the beach.

00:17:14The guy's like, what are you doing?

00:17:15You're like, nothing.

00:17:20I'm not doing anything.

00:17:22Oh man.

00:17:24I'll see you later.

00:17:26Good to meet you.

00:17:28I never was a huge...

00:17:30I don't think the hole was my big thing.

00:17:32I like building the little trench to the beach.

00:17:35Yep.

00:17:36Yes.

00:17:36So that the water would flow up and then flow down it.

00:17:39We can say digging at the beach.

00:17:42Okay.

00:17:45Lying, it just comes so natural.

00:17:47It's almost like a reflex to someone that you're never going to see again.

00:17:51You almost don't even get any pleasure from it.

00:17:53Oh, you're wrong.

00:17:56At its peak though, it is so, so satisfying.

00:18:00It's an inconsequential lie.

00:18:02It's getting all those lies you want to tell to your loved ones.

00:18:04You just do it to your Uber driver.

00:18:06Totally.

00:18:06Oh yeah.

00:18:07Totally.

00:18:10But I got to say, I really enjoy digging at the beach.

00:18:16One for digging at the beach, KB.

00:18:18This is tough.

00:18:20So there's a point when you're digging at the beach where you convince yourself

00:18:22that you might break a record or go so far that it's going to change the whole day for everyone.

00:18:29Yes.

00:18:32But a good lie when both parties come out of it excited is the best feeling.

00:18:37I lie about if I find out someone's from a city, I'll just say, yeah, I've been there.

00:18:41I told my Uber driver last week he was from South America.

00:18:44I'm like, me and my girlfriend are going there.

00:18:45Yeah.

00:18:45Stuff like that.

00:18:46And they get all excited.

00:18:47You're excited.

00:18:48I got to go meet Parvati quick.

00:18:49All right, so I'm going to go lie.

00:18:50A good lie.

00:18:51You're going to go with a good lie.

00:18:52Have you ever said a lie to someone you didn't think you would meet again?

00:18:55They ended up meeting them again.

00:18:56And they like, fuck, what was the lie?

00:18:58Not yet.

00:18:59It happened to me because there was a group, like a subgroup of my girlfriend at the time's

00:19:03friends who I'm like, I'm never going to meet these people again.

00:19:05But then they became main group people.

00:19:07And what you say?

00:19:09I forget exactly what the lie was, but it was something insane.

00:19:12It was like something about like my nanny had done something like I never even had a nanny.

00:19:17You seem like a kid who had some serious lies.

00:19:20Oh, yeah.

00:19:22Oh, I had one really bad one.

00:19:24Oh, what was it?

00:19:26It was something about like, I was a student body president in my senior year.

00:19:32And I said, I can't go do this.

00:19:34We did a school car wash or whatever like that.

00:19:36And I was like, I can't do this because someone killed himself in my family.

00:19:40And I was like, the second I said it, I was like, I could have said anything else.

00:19:44Any other thing.

00:19:45I could have said anything else.

00:19:46Why did I say that?

00:19:48I just heard that about somebody that killed himself.

00:19:49And it's just fresh on the mind.

00:19:51And so like that ended all the questioning right after that.

00:19:53And no one said a word after.

00:19:54But so it's fine in that regard.

00:19:56But I was like, why the fuck did I say that?

00:19:59That was that was a tough bad.

00:20:01Yeah.

00:20:02But yeah.

00:20:03So, Nick, digging the hole, the beach or lying.

00:20:08Man, at peak.

00:20:11There's still a part of me that feels some guilt, even it makes that even though it makes

00:20:15that person happy, even though it's inconsequential, there's a part of me.

00:20:17There's no guilt about a hole.

00:20:20I'm going whole.

00:20:21Two for the whole, Tommy.

00:20:22There's nothing better than lying to people with no consequences on an elevator, simply

00:20:27on an elevator, having an absurd conversation with your friend, me and my friend, Sarah

00:20:30Finn.

00:20:31We run this all the time where Sarah Finn will always say something like, oh, it's so

00:20:35good to see you.

00:20:36Like when there's a stranger.

00:20:37So good to see you, man.

00:20:38Like, what's the last time we saw each other?

00:20:40Was it Stephen and Emily's wedding?

00:20:42It was like six months ago.

00:20:43It's been a while.

00:20:44And then what a beautiful wedding.

00:20:45And then just pick out her dad, man.

00:20:47Be like, yeah.

00:20:48She says, what a kisser.

00:20:50What a great kisser.

00:20:51It gets me every time.

00:20:52You guys are so cheap ass.

00:20:55Yeah, that's a riot.

00:20:56It's a riot.

00:20:57And it kills us.

00:20:58The person probably doesn't even hear it.

00:21:00But I think even a minute example of this would be like going to Starbucks and saying

00:21:04your name's fucking, I don't know, Brad or whatever.

00:21:07Just giving them a moment.

00:21:07That's a rush.

00:21:08That's a rush.

00:21:09You guys do that?

00:21:10Not anymore.

00:21:10But what do you get out of that?

00:21:12No, as a kid.

00:21:12You promise a lot of second dates if they give up the pussy.

00:21:16That's also true.

00:21:17Facts.

00:21:18Uh, yeah.

00:21:19No, like doing it, doing it like a red mango at the mall.

00:21:22It's like, oh, I thought I knew where I was going, but there was nothing better than like

00:21:28having to drop your name when you're eight years old and being like Peter Parker.

00:21:31And then they're like, order for Peter Parker.

00:21:35All right, we're two to two.

00:21:36You're going to break the tie, Dukes.

00:21:38Those are more pranks, I think.

00:21:40That's a lie.

00:21:40It is.

00:21:41Pranks are lies, though.

00:21:42Brad is a lie.

00:21:44Peter Parker is a prank.

00:21:45Yeah.

00:21:46Is it a lie if they don't even know?

00:21:48That's the best part.

00:21:49You're just doing it to do it.

00:21:50Yeah, but like 17 year old is like this fucking asshole.

00:21:52I never did that.

00:21:53I don't.

00:21:54I feel like I need to get into lying.

00:21:55It's fun.

00:21:55Or like you meet someone at a bar.

00:21:57Where'd you go to school?

00:21:58USC.

00:21:59Harvard.

00:21:59Yeah.

00:22:00Yeah.

00:22:00You don't have to know.

00:22:01I would feel guilty doing that.

00:22:02Yeah, I don't know.

00:22:03It never crossed my mind.

00:22:04Such a rush.

00:22:05I make up entire novels about myself when I go to the bar.

00:22:10Like, where did you go to college?

00:22:11Harvard.

00:22:12What do you do?

00:22:12Investment banker at Goldman Sachs.

00:22:14I've gotten caught to the point where you work at Goldman Sachs.

00:22:17What department are you in?

00:22:19I'm in investment banking.

00:22:20Oh, so am I.

00:22:21Who's your manager?

00:22:22To the point where it's like, I'm embarrassed.

00:22:24Are you doing it to try to get them into you?

00:22:29Mostly to fuck with them.

00:22:30I want to see how far I can go more than anything.

00:22:32I do it for my own amusement more than theirs.

00:22:35With that said, I don't think anything can beat

00:22:38the exhilaration of digging a hole at the beach

00:22:40and thinking that I could actually go to China.

00:22:42Yep.

00:22:43China was the goal.

00:22:45Of course it was your goal, Kenji.

00:22:46And I got there.

00:22:48I got that big ass hole in China.

00:22:49I can go to where?

00:22:56I got that digging the hole is going to move forward.

00:22:59By the way, Dukes, I made like an end of year clip show

00:23:02for this year's Braggad.

00:23:03I forgot about your friend that robbed a tombstone in college.

00:23:08Yes.

00:23:08We forgot about that.

00:23:09Yeah, we talked about that when I went back to school.

00:23:10That was pretty elite.

00:23:12Your friend was a grave digger?

00:23:13No, grave robber.

00:23:14At Dayton, I lived next to a cemetery where the Wright brothers were buried.

00:23:20And one of my friends, when I got drunk and came back to our house with a tombstone.

00:23:25Yeah.

00:23:25God damn.

00:23:27That's a crime, yeah.

00:23:28Yeah.

00:23:29That is a bad omen.

00:23:30Because we were talking about what's fun to steal.

00:23:33And that wasn't.

00:23:34That was like, let's go bring this back.

00:23:37So digging the hole at the beach is going to move on.

00:23:39Now we have our one seed versus our 16 seed chain.

00:23:41The chain is just Tommy's options.

00:23:42Straight up Tommy's options.

00:23:44So we'll run straight through them.

00:23:45Daydreaming.

00:23:47Daydreaming is the best.

00:23:48One of the greatest things.

00:23:48But you can't plan it, is my thing.

00:23:50Like you can't force your daydream.

00:23:53Tommy, I'm with you on that.

00:23:54I mean, as a kid, I would have daydreams by period in high school.

00:23:58It's like, oh, this period, I'll daydream about this thing.

00:24:00I'm a baseball player.

00:24:01I'm this.

00:24:02I'm that.

00:24:03I'm having sex with a girl for once.

00:24:04Things of that nature.

00:24:05Similarly, you had interviewing yourself in your head like you're on Jimmy Fallon.

00:24:09Yeah, I do this a lot with hot ones.

00:24:10Every time I'm in the shower, I interview myself on hot.

00:24:13How do you do?

00:24:15How do you do on Da Bomb?

00:24:17I do well, but he does better.

00:24:20Sean, so you make it realistic how you think it would go?

00:24:25His questions are so good.

00:24:26And I always think to myself, oh, that's a good question.

00:24:32But you know what?

00:24:32Everyone on hot ones are like, oh, that's such a good question, Sean.

00:24:35In my head, I'm writing ones where I'm even, even in the scenario,

00:24:38my character is blown away by how good of a question it is.

00:24:41Give me an example of a question that would blow you away.

00:24:43If a Nardwaur did a Tommy Smokes interview.

00:24:45That's who I do it for.

00:24:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:24:46I was about to say.

00:24:46I was going to make funny, but I do it with Nardwaur.

00:24:50If he had something to blow.

00:24:52Well, so in this, obviously, if I'm on hot ones, I'm in movies, right?

00:24:56So he would maybe ask me something.

00:24:58Not obviously.

00:24:59He would ask me something like, what's the difference between making a short form piece

00:25:05of internet content versus a movie?

00:25:07And I would answer something like, well, you know, when you're making internet content,

00:25:10you have to really compete for people's attention.

00:25:12Because they could just scroll to the next thing.

00:25:14When you're making a movie or a TV show, you know people are going to grace you with a

00:25:17little bit of their time, right?

00:25:18You don't have to hook them in immediately in the first couple.

00:25:20And it's a really, really good discussion.

00:25:22Yeah, that's a good answer.

00:25:27What does the top comment say?

00:25:29Like, never heard of this guy, but he's really good.

00:25:31He's really passionate about it.

00:25:32Yeah, like, wasn't really familiar with this guy, but I like him a lot.

00:25:35They may be like, oh, 14, like, timestamp 1438.

00:25:38In your fantasy, the top comment is, wasn't really familiar with this guy.

00:25:42I try to keep my daydreams realistic.

00:25:44Like, even when I would daydream about being like a baseball player, like, I was never

00:25:48an MVP or anything.

00:25:49But I'm a solid second baseman.

00:25:51I hit 280, 16 home runs a year.

00:25:53You had a funny comment today from somebody on, like, that was the bus in tweet.

00:25:57Yeah, that was an ultimate ricochet shot.

00:26:00Like, some guy was arguing with Will.

00:26:02He's like, you're such a fucking loser.

00:26:04Leaving Barstool, blah, blah, blah.

00:26:05And then some other guy replied to the troll and was like, bro, you look gayer than Tommy

00:26:10Smokes right now.

00:26:11Like, not even adding me.

00:26:15When I do KB, which I think you'll relate to, is when I'm listening to, like, when I

00:26:19do cardio, I listen to dubstep.

00:26:21And I'm all in on being, like, a DJ, how I'd have my visuals.

00:26:25Oh, yeah, I do this.

00:26:26And then I picture a world where, like, I play dubstep like the piano.

00:26:31I do the same exact thing.

00:26:32But it's, yeah, Hoogs does it.

00:26:34Yeah, I do the DJ.

00:26:35That hurts.

00:26:36I think about how I mix in a song.

00:26:40I've talked ad nauseum on this show about pretending to be a front man whenever I listen

00:26:44to the songs.

00:26:45Yeah.

00:26:45And you put the song, you just put the microphone moves.

00:26:47I do.

00:26:48Yeah.

00:26:49Yep.

00:26:49You remember the one specifically you said where, like, you put the microphone out and

00:26:53then you're just like, you guys, you're singing the lyric for me or whatever.

00:26:55I know.

00:26:56And I turn around.

00:26:56I'm like, it brings, like, a tear to my eye because, like, yeah, I know it's a hit song,

00:27:00but, like, these lyrics resonate with them.

00:27:02Yeah.

00:27:03Are you daydreaming about America's Got Talent audition where you sing Cooler Than Me by

00:27:06Mike Posner, but you put a unique twist on it and it blows them away?

00:27:09Let's hear it.

00:27:11I got designer shades just to hide your face and you wear them around like you're cooler

00:27:16than me.

00:27:17Like, you hit that, you wear them around like you're cooler than me, but you never say,

00:27:22hey, yo, remember my name?

00:27:24And, like, not bad, right?

00:27:26A unique flair.

00:27:27I'm going to make sure to clip that and post that tag Mike Posner in it and see what he

00:27:31thinks.

00:27:31You ride them around like.

00:27:33And they're like, and I get, like, three out of four yeses.

00:27:35I would never get a Golden Buzzer.

00:27:36I never even come close to getting a Golden Buzzer.

00:27:38But you get to it.

00:27:39That'd be crazy of you to think it.

00:27:40Yeah.

00:27:43Tommy also has looking at a waterfall in the lobby.

00:27:45I love a good waterfall, a fake waterfall in the lobby.

00:27:48Andrew, you have a waterfall in your lobby.

00:27:49I do.

00:27:49The lobby of an office building.

00:27:50I think everywhere should have it.

00:27:51That is a treat.

00:27:53Any sort of aquascape gets me fucking going.

00:27:56Oh, my God.

00:27:56Yeah.

00:27:57The hot lava game.

00:27:58You're just saying, like, you're stepping on like.

00:28:00No, like, as a kid, like, you and your friends put a bunch of lava.

00:28:03Yeah.

00:28:03Whatever.

00:28:04Put a bunch of pillows on the floor.

00:28:05You can't touch the floor.

00:28:06It's lava.

00:28:06Great game.

00:28:07Cushions were my favorite toy as a kid.

00:28:09Oh, building a fort.

00:28:10I don't know if that's on here.

00:28:12Building a fort is fucking awesome.

00:28:13Yeah.

00:28:15Avalanche where you take all the pillows and put them at the top of the stairs.

00:28:18Yep.

00:28:19Yep.

00:28:20Writing your life log.

00:28:22Yeah.

00:28:22I think I've talked about this before.

00:28:23I have a log where I write down everything I do every day so I could then look back and say,

00:28:27oh, what did I do on July 12th, 2022?

00:28:30And I look back and say, oh.

00:28:31A diary.

00:28:32Yeah.

00:28:32It's not a diary.

00:28:33It's a diary if I was writing down my feelings.

00:28:35This is a life log.

00:28:36Just a pure stats.

00:28:38Things I did.

00:28:38Do you have this now?

00:28:39Yeah.

00:28:39That's a dude that's prepping to commit a crime.

00:28:43That's just pure stats.

00:28:44Can I give you a date and you can tell me what happened?

00:28:46Yeah.

00:28:46So it started May of 2021.

00:28:49Okay.

00:28:50November 3rd, 2022.

00:28:53Are you going to?

00:28:54I'm going to have to keep going because it's going to take a while.

00:28:57His next one is sporkle quizzes, which I agree with, although I guess there's

00:29:00tertiary costs to it.

00:29:03Doing the number challenge on TikTok, which I don't.

00:29:05Yeah.

00:29:06I just found this out.

00:29:07I bet you guys would actually all love this.

00:29:09The one through ten?

00:29:10No, no.

00:29:12It's 20 slots and it's a number generator that's anywhere between zero and 999.

00:29:18Okay.

00:29:18And this guy does it and you have to put it in an order so that they all fit.

00:29:23Yeah.

00:29:23I've done it.

00:29:24Okay.

00:29:24It's just a lot of fun to do.

00:29:27It's literally almost statistically impossible to do.

00:29:29And then chess.

00:29:30And then also crossword puzzles, which we all like.

00:29:33We know crosswords, although we do pay a prescription subscription for.

00:29:39Yeah, there's our free.

00:29:41November 3rd, 2022.

00:29:42Oh, my God.

00:29:42The way you have it written down.

00:29:44It's on a Google Doc.

00:29:45Yeah.

00:29:46So to run through them all again, just for and Dukes, you'll start the vote on this time.

00:29:50Daydreaming, interviewing yourself in your head, looking at a waterfall, a hot lava game,

00:29:55writing in your life log, sparkle quizzes, number challenge, chess and crosswords.

00:29:59I got November 3rd, 2022.

00:30:00What was between number challenge and crossword?

00:30:03Chess?

00:30:03Chess.

00:30:04Although chess could be on there, too.

00:30:07Woke up and had coffee and meditated.

00:30:10Went to gym.

00:30:10I was going through one of my meditation and gym phases.

00:30:12Went to Target.

00:30:13Came back and had hard boiled eggs.

00:30:15Showered and went to work.

00:30:17Went on out and about.

00:30:18Did crossword.

00:30:19Did rundown with Vibs and Billy.

00:30:20Wrote survivor blog.

00:30:22Came home.

00:30:22Me and Rob, my roommate, Uber to five lamps for trivia.

00:30:25Anthony and Julia came.

00:30:26We only had three seats and small table.

00:30:28Had burger and fries and hard apple ciders.

00:30:30We finished the middle of the pack.

00:30:31Came back, watched some YouTube, fell asleep.

00:30:33Nice.

00:30:34What a fucking day.

00:30:34It's a pretty full day.

00:30:36That's a good day.

00:30:36That was a good day.

00:30:37You picked a good day.

00:30:38Has your life changed very much?

00:30:40Um, today I woke up, went to the gym and had hard boiled eggs.

00:30:44I met survivor people.

00:30:48That's better than going out.

00:30:48Met survivor people.

00:30:49Did not meditate.

00:30:50Um, yeah.

00:30:52So, Dukes, which one of those chain options do you like?

00:30:56Chess is good.

00:30:58Chess is good.

00:30:59And you, from experience?

00:31:01Yes.

00:31:02Yeah.

00:31:03Yeah.

00:31:03During COVID, I actually, I got really into chess.

00:31:06You became a grandmaster.

00:31:07Yeah.

00:31:08He's got like an EVQ level of 5,000.

00:31:10I remember during COVID, I took a Xanax and would play my friends in chess.

00:31:16And I felt like the Queen's Gambit.

00:31:19I felt I was legitimately the Queen's Gambit.

00:31:21I was like, I'm going to be, this is what my calling is.

00:31:24There was a point.

00:31:25I like day, I like daydreaming.

00:31:27What was the, there was one waterfall.

00:31:29Waterfall in Alameda.

00:31:30Do you play on the chess app?

00:31:32Yeah, I would play people on the chess app.

00:31:34And I'd play my, I'd play my, I don't even know.

00:31:37I wasn't very good.

00:31:38I haven't played in years.

00:31:39But me and my roommates used to play a ton.

00:31:42Chess is good.

00:31:43Yeah.

00:31:43I played Stephen Che for like six months straight using a computer, but didn't tell him.

00:31:47I just kept beating him.

00:31:48And he was like, damn, you're really good.

00:31:50You know what?

00:31:51I'm going to go chess.

00:31:52Playing, like going to Washington Square Park.

00:31:53And I don't know if you guys have ever done this.

00:31:55The chess also?

00:31:55Yeah.

00:31:56Getting hustled in Washington Square Park is a little.

00:31:58I did that on shrooms once.

00:31:59Yeah.

00:32:00That's awesome.

00:32:00Wow, Tommy.

00:32:01Yeah.

00:32:02Only, yeah.

00:32:02Shrooms are all right.

00:32:04One for chess, Tommy.

00:32:06Daydreaming.

00:32:07Nothing can top daydreaming.

00:32:08The world is at your fingertips.

00:32:10Anything you want to do.

00:32:11You can just fucking daydream.

00:32:13And there it is.

00:32:14It's a great use of going to bed, in the shower, walking to and from work, whatever.

00:32:19Daydreaming.

00:32:19If you don't have a bunch of different versions of yourself ready.

00:32:22And I'm going to go in this world today.

00:32:23I'm going to go in this world today.

00:32:24It's a little George Costanza.

00:32:25I do.

00:32:25I do appreciate.

00:32:26I was going to go daydreaming because I do prepare how, like if someone asked someone

00:32:30else a question, how I would answer it.

00:32:32So one for chess and one for daydreaming right now, Nick.

00:32:35It's daydreaming.

00:32:37It's my favorite thing to do.

00:32:39You have mentioned multiple times in the show.

00:32:41Oh, yeah.

00:32:41KB.

00:32:43Yeah.

00:32:43I mean, at its peak, the daydreaming session, it can last long.

00:32:47It can last a couple hours.

00:32:50Especially if you build a world in your head.

00:32:53Or a state.

00:32:54So your state with different people.

00:32:57You know, fantasizing is, I guess, part of the daydreaming umbrella.

00:33:00That's awesome.

00:33:02So yeah, it has to be daydreaming.

00:33:03Crossword would be a close second, but I pay for the New York Times, and that's the

00:33:08only one I do.

00:33:09So daydreaming.

00:33:10Daydreaming, Rudy?

00:33:11Couldn't agree more.

00:33:13Yeah.

00:33:13Crosswords, close second.

00:33:14Really enjoy those.

00:33:15But daydreaming is something that I do without even thinking.

00:33:20It's something that my entire life has just been so rewarding.

00:33:24Yeah.

00:33:24So daydreaming is going to move on and play our number one seed.

00:33:27Our number one seed, by far the most submitted option, which I'm sure you can guess.

00:33:32Just jerking off.

00:33:34It was the most submitted option.

00:33:35But let me add a caveat here.

00:33:36It's crazy that jerking off is free.

00:33:38But let me add on to this.

00:33:40This is, it was the most submitted one by far.

00:33:42So many people submitted it.

00:33:43Not a soul submitted sex, which is also free.

00:33:47You could have.

00:33:48Not really.

00:33:49But it is.

00:33:51It isn't, but it is.

00:33:51You know what I mean?

00:33:52It's not available to everybody.

00:33:53Could have just said sex, but no.

00:33:54It's jerking off.

00:33:55Yeah, but I think it's the convenient.

00:33:57Like, when I'm thinking free, the sex is not nearly as convenient.

00:34:01I could jerk off right now.

00:34:02Don't, but I could.

00:34:05Please don't.

00:34:06No, I have that power.

00:34:07There's no such thing as a free lunch when it comes to sex.

00:34:11In some way, you're always going to have to pay for it.

00:34:13I know what you mean.

00:34:16Yeah, like a date, a dinner, a prostitute.

00:34:20A child.

00:34:21Yeah.

00:34:23What if you end up with a kid?

00:34:24You could also have like a girlfriend or something.

00:34:27That's expensive.

00:34:29I don't know.

00:34:30I'm just saying that it should have also been on somebody's mind at some point along the line here.

00:34:35Rudy.

00:34:38Jerking off versus what?

00:34:39Daydreaming.

00:34:40Oh, man.

00:34:43Jerking off is awesome.

00:34:45Fuck.

00:34:46Daydreaming is awesome.

00:34:47This is a really tough one.

00:34:49I'm going to campaign for daydreaming here for a second.

00:34:52I think sometimes daydreaming that you're with a super hot girl, whatever, in high school,

00:34:56your crush, that's more enjoyable than just jerking off.

00:35:00Yeah.

00:35:00And are we stripping?

00:35:02Are we doing like jerking off?

00:35:04No.

00:35:05Stripping, yeah.

00:35:05No visual aid.

00:35:07Wait, jerking off no what?

00:35:08The phone costs money.

00:35:09The phone does cost money.

00:35:11And then you would have to daydream.

00:35:13Right.

00:35:14Yeah, that's true.

00:35:15I guess, yeah, you can't really have any like attached cost to it, which would include like a

00:35:21magazine or phone or internet or whatever.

00:35:24Jerking off acoustic, that's no.

00:35:26Acoustic?

00:35:26Yeah.

00:35:27Acoustic.

00:35:28Analog?

00:35:28What do you mean?

00:35:29Analog, yeah.

00:35:29Acapella.

00:35:30Yeah, acapella.

00:35:31Jerking off acoustic, it's crazy.

00:35:33I'm just projecting sound waves on my cock until it's fucking gone.

00:35:36Beatboxing.

00:35:39I got to go daydreaming then, for sure.

00:35:41Yeah.

00:35:41One.

00:35:42I can't even imagine.

00:35:43I don't know if I've ever just straight jerked off.

00:35:46You've never straight jerked off.

00:35:47You've only gay jerked off.

00:35:50You, no.

00:35:51Where's my gay car?

00:35:52Oh, no.

00:35:52Where's my gay car?

00:35:53Yeah, where's the car?

00:35:55Where's my premium membership?

00:35:57Yeah, I'm going to go daydreaming.

00:35:58But yeah, I don't think I've ever jerked off without any kind of visual aid.

00:36:01Maybe a couple of times.

00:36:03So one for daydreaming.

00:36:05KB?

00:36:06Yeah, I guess if we eliminate the technology, then jacking off goes from like a 9.8 to a

00:36:16five.

00:36:17That's a big drop.

00:36:18It would still be, it would maybe be a five and a half.

00:36:21I feel like depending on how horny you are, that could still be great.

00:36:24It was significantly easier to do it without an aid in like high school.

00:36:27Or like middle school.

00:36:28It's impossible now.

00:36:29Like, I don't even think I could if I tried.

00:36:31Yeah.

00:36:32But at its peak, yeah, jacking off would just break the charts.

00:36:35Yeah.

00:36:35So I'm gonna still go daydreaming.

00:36:37Daydreaming.

00:36:38Two for daydreaming.

00:36:40At its peak, yeah.

00:36:43My peak of jacking off didn't last very long.

00:36:46I got over it pretty quick.

00:36:49You're peaking on people jacking off?

00:36:49I don't know if it was shame or guilt.

00:36:51There was some shame attached, especially as Catholic boys.

00:36:54Mmm.

00:36:55Because I knew every time I did it, I'd have to tell on myself to an adult.

00:37:00And confession.

00:37:01Yeah.

00:37:04I'm gonna go with what has brought me more joy for longer, which is daydreaming.

00:37:08Daydreaming.

00:37:09Three for daydreaming.

00:37:10I'll daydream long after I quit jerking off.

00:37:15Three for daydreaming.

00:37:15I will say, to Tommy's point, I think I kind of agree in that like,

00:37:18in the daydreaming fantasy where you're with the really hot girl,

00:37:20there is no climax, which I do think almost makes it.

00:37:23It's just nice.

00:37:24It's a nicer feeling.

00:37:26Like after the climax and jerking off, you feel kind of gross.

00:37:29Disgusting.

00:37:29Yeah.

00:37:30You feel disgusted.

00:37:30But you exit the fantasy that you're in.

00:37:33You're like, well, that's not my life.

00:37:36At all.

00:37:36But that never will be.

00:37:37Isn't that a plus for daydreaming, though?

00:37:39One of these has coming.

00:37:42But there's also shame.

00:37:44Yeah, there is a lot.

00:37:45A lot of shame.

00:37:46Tommy?

00:37:47Yeah, daydreaming.

00:37:48Daydreaming's gonna win.

00:37:49Yeah, I'm also on daydreaming.

00:37:52I think actually daydreaming while jerking off used to be pretty elite.

00:37:55How do you do that?

00:37:56I still think, just like, imagine it's happening.

00:37:59Like if you're-

00:38:00That's just jerking off.

00:38:01Yeah, but like, no technology.

00:38:03I feel better if I daydream jerk off than like watching something jerk off.

00:38:07That's fair.

00:38:07When I'm like-

00:38:08I consider that like a mind work.

00:38:09I think that helps your creativity more.

00:38:10I think if you use porn or some sort of visual aid as a crutch,

00:38:15you lose a little bit of yourself.

00:38:16To some degree.

00:38:17I don't like porn because when I like finish jerking off,

00:38:20you're just like, ugh.

00:38:23So many other people have looked at this video as well.

00:38:25Yeah, it's like 8 million views.

00:38:29Yeah, this isn't my video at all.

00:38:30Did you see like a million-

00:38:31I thought she was mine.

00:38:32Yeah, you see like a million people, you're like, ugh.

00:38:33I don't think she likes me.

00:38:35Yeah, ugh.

00:38:36I feel like she used me.

00:38:3724 million views on this video of Riley Reid.

00:38:40Oh God, she dares you to do this for other men.

00:38:43I thought I was the one.

00:38:45Yeah, seeing a lot of views is shameful,

00:38:48but also seeing like a tiny amount of views-

00:38:50It's really shameful.

00:38:52Like 312 views.

00:38:54What did I do?

00:38:55That feels like you're intruding on somebody's life.

00:38:58Yeah, you're doing something wrong.

00:39:00You're like truly wrong.

00:39:01It was posted by mistake.

00:39:04It has like a bunch of downvotes.

00:39:12I was actually thinking about that

00:39:13because there's this video of this guy

00:39:14that goes to one-star rated restaurants

00:39:16and he's like, let's see if this food is actually this bad.

00:39:19And like just going to the worst rated porn

00:39:20and trying to jerk off.

00:39:21Who went on it right now, Ken Jack?

00:39:23I'll do it on my phone.

00:39:24Can you sort by least like worst rated?

00:39:28You could definitely sort by rated.

00:39:32I'll try it on Pornhub.

00:39:33Let's see if it works.

00:39:36Actually, I don't even know how you do it

00:39:38because then you have to scroll all the way to the bottom.

00:39:40Do you have to go to the last page?

00:39:41I don't know.

00:39:42I don't know.

00:39:42You know what?

00:39:43We'll try it again later.

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00:40:43I've never taken any erection pill before

00:40:46and I was talking to a group of guys

00:40:52and I was like,

00:40:52I've never done these before,

00:40:53and they're like, you haven't?

00:40:54And they made me feel like I was in the minority

00:40:56for not having done it.

00:40:57I have not either, but I'm sure blue cheese is great.

00:41:00I remember one time going to, I don't know.

00:41:02You just got a rhino pill or something?

00:41:04We got a rhino pill and we put it into a beer

00:41:07and mixed up the drinks.

00:41:09I still don't know if I have or haven't,

00:41:10but I remember getting hard.

00:41:12Don't think it was me.

00:41:13You remember that boner.

00:41:15I feel like I'd remember something like that.

00:41:17It's an upper and a downer.

00:41:18They probably cancel each other out, right?

00:41:19Yeah, I guess, yeah.

00:41:21So on the other side of the bracket,

00:41:22we have the number 11 seed versus the six seed.

00:41:2811 seed is touching stuff in stores.

00:41:30That's one of Nick's.

00:41:34I love just going through the clothing thing,

00:41:36like Rolodex, I don't know how you call it.

00:41:38Just go like, shh, shh, shh.

00:41:39Oh yeah, I'll touch everything.

00:41:41Nick Nacks, I'll slap a bag of something.

00:41:44He's slapping a bag of something.

00:41:45Going to Costco, I'll touch everything in the store.

00:41:47Slapping a bag of...

00:41:49Big Bryce.

00:41:49Big, big thing of rice.

00:41:50Slapping a bag of mulch.

00:41:51Mulch, yeah.

00:41:52Possum mulch.

00:41:54And then it's going up against the number six seed,

00:41:56just breaking ice.

00:41:58So you're at a pond, you throw something at it,

00:42:01you break it with your feet.

00:42:02You take, I don't know if you ever left a bucket outside

00:42:05where it froze overnight,

00:42:06but then it has that little circular piece of ice

00:42:08that freezes on it.

00:42:09You could take it out of there

00:42:10and it's just a big circle sheet of ice.

00:42:12You could just slam it.

00:42:13That's great.

00:42:14Yeah, oh yeah.

00:42:14And even like icicles hanging off like your gutters

00:42:17or whatever, like all that shit is great.

00:42:18Rolling down your window

00:42:19and there's that thin film of ice.

00:42:21Yeah, so breaking ice versus touching stuff in stores.

00:42:25Start with you, Dukes.

00:42:26Breaking ice is one of my favorite activities,

00:42:29paid or unpaid.

00:42:30You paid to do it?

00:42:34No, but out of all the paid things

00:42:36that I could do for fun,

00:42:37it's right there with unpaid.

00:42:39I like ice fishing when they take the saw

00:42:41and they cut the circles.

00:42:43I saw a video of Sidney Wells ice picking

00:42:45and she was like,

00:42:46I want to do that so bad, going down there.

00:42:48You know you're supposed to put the ice back after?

00:42:52That's dumb.

00:42:53After you take the big block of ice out,

00:42:55you're supposed to put it back so that it refreezes

00:42:56so that it doesn't fuck with the ice or something.

00:42:59I saw a video of someone ice fishing.

00:43:00I didn't know that.

00:43:01I do not get though,

00:43:02Rudy, you might be able to answer this.

00:43:04How do you know if the ice...

00:43:05Who's the tester out of pond hockey players

00:43:07that's like, I'm going to go test to see if this ice is okay?

00:43:11I don't exactly know,

00:43:11but I think you drill into it based on the thickness.

00:43:15That's always scared me a little bit too.

00:43:16Tiny bit.

00:43:18No worse fear than if you would fall under ice.

00:43:20Trap.

00:43:21I think the video I was watching,

00:43:22who's the guy that goes out in Alaska

00:43:23and does all those...

00:43:25The outdoor boys?

00:43:26Outdoor boys.

00:43:26It was outdoor boys who did it, yeah.

00:43:27It was a very interesting video.

00:43:29So you're going with breaking ice, Tommy?

00:43:31Yeah, breaking ice.

00:43:32It is.

00:43:33I think it's a little ASMR tingly.

00:43:36I think, Nick, I don't know if you experienced that,

00:43:38but breaking off an icicle clean or something,

00:43:41just something about the way it breaks off.

00:43:44I'll go breaking ice.

00:43:45And now that Trump's back, he's going to fix ice, right?

00:43:49Only thing better is restoring ice.

00:43:52Nick?

00:43:54Ice, there's...

00:43:55You're cold.

00:43:56It's not fun for too long.

00:43:58And there's...

00:43:58I've always had that fear around frozen bodies of water.

00:44:02Touching stuff is timeless.

00:44:04And if you don't like what you touched,

00:44:06there's like a trillion other things you could touch right after.

00:44:08Yeah.

00:44:09I'm going with touching.

00:44:11As a germaphobe with a germaphobe mom,

00:44:13I would get a lot of, don't touch that.

00:44:15Don't touch that.

00:44:16Like that's always like...

00:44:17If I went to...

00:44:18Don't touch that.

00:44:19So I almost never touch things.

00:44:21What about when you're hanging out with like your aunt?

00:44:24You probably don't want to keep your hands to yourself.

00:44:26You can't get your hands on them fast enough.

00:44:30Two for breaking ice, one for touching stuff in stores.

00:44:32KB?

00:44:33Yeah, I guess I take for granted the ability

00:44:35I have to touch whatever I want pretty much.

00:44:38Because if in a world where you couldn't touch,

00:44:40I would feel enslavened.

00:44:42So I'm going to go touch.

00:44:46I hate that feeling in like museums too.

00:44:48Like if you're in a museum and it says don't touch,

00:44:49I'm like, oh, come on, touch this.

00:44:52Rudy?

00:44:53I've never had the touching thing.

00:44:55I feel weird.

00:44:56Like I'd never have gotten like...

00:44:58And if I'm in a store, I have no desire to touch things.

00:45:00And if I do touch them, I don't feel any pleasure.

00:45:02In a museum, when they say do not touch, I don't care.

00:45:05I don't know why.

00:45:05I just never felt that way.

00:45:07Breaking ice on the other hand, I love doing.

00:45:09Especially like if you're like near like a little river

00:45:11or something, if you're hiking and there's a little bit of ice

00:45:13and you throw a rock into it and see it shatter, the icicles.

00:45:17Yeah, breaking the ice is all time.

00:45:19Breaking the ice, going to move on.

00:45:21Now we have the number three seed versus the 14 seed.

00:45:24The three seed is throwing rocks in a water.

00:45:26So this is a different thing.

00:45:29Different than the ice.

00:45:30So throwing a rock in the water,

00:45:32there's a couple of videos I've seen where like the method

00:45:35in which the rock gets into the water is different.

00:45:38Like they push a rock down a hill

00:45:39and then it goes down the hill, down the hill

00:45:41and then goes into the water.

00:45:42Any way you get a rock into the water,

00:45:44just a big-ass rock, throw it off a bridge, whatever.

00:45:46It's amazing.

00:45:47And that's going up against the number 14 seed.

00:45:50Now I'm thinking about it.

00:45:51This might have like kind of like a tertiary

00:45:52or the attached cost a little bit of it.

00:45:54But just don't go down a Wikipedia rabbit hole.

00:45:57Go down a Wikipedia rabbit hole.

00:45:59Just looking through like, for me,

00:46:00it's when I go to sleep mostly.

00:46:02But going down a full Wikipedia rabbit hole for me,

00:46:04like yesterday I was looking at like the Crimean War

00:46:06for like an hour as I went to sleep.

00:46:08I don't know why.

00:46:09Oh, yeah.

00:46:10It's just fun stuff.

00:46:11So throwing a rock into water versus a Wikipedia rabbit hole.

00:46:15Rudy?

00:46:18Man, I thought that there was whatever you're going to say

00:46:20after throwing a rock in water was going to be insignificant.

00:46:23But Wikipedia is pretty great.

00:46:25But are we considering,

00:46:26because if we were saying for porn,

00:46:28like for jerking off that there's cost of a phone and internet,

00:46:31that would technically be the same with Wikipedia.

00:46:33There's also like an attached,

00:46:34but also Wikipedia is like a free to use,

00:46:36like it's a .org, which makes it, I feel like, different.

00:46:39You could just go to a library.

00:46:40Exactly.

00:46:41Yeah.

00:46:42You couldn't do it with porn.

00:46:43They beg you for your money.

00:46:45Yeah, they do.

00:46:45Wikipedia?

00:46:46Yeah.

00:46:47I donate.

00:46:50But the thing about throwing a rock in water

00:46:52is that there's so many different types.

00:46:53Like there's the fun one,

00:46:54when you get the pretty big rock,

00:46:55you throw it and it makes that like,

00:46:57like it makes that unique noise.

00:46:59And then one of my favorite ones

00:47:00is you get like a really little rock

00:47:01and you throw it and you get enough spin on it.

00:47:03And when it goes in, it's just like,

00:47:05it's just like the most silent noise,

00:47:07trying to make the most silent splash.

00:47:09It's so satisfying.

00:47:10I'm thinking about it now.

00:47:12You get the spin on that fucker.

00:47:14And fuck skipping stone.

00:47:15Skipping stone is fun.

00:47:15I'll shut down your skipping stones competition

00:47:18by throwing a basketball sized rock just into the water.

00:47:21Tommy did have skipping stones.

00:47:22I won.

00:47:23I win.

00:47:24I did put skipping stones.

00:47:25I've never been able to really get a good skip,

00:47:27but it is exhilarating.

00:47:29Yeah.

00:47:30You need like a shale.

00:47:31Like you can't even use like a river.

00:47:31The hunt is fun.

00:47:32Yeah.

00:47:33Or like, or, or picking a target and just,

00:47:36and just heaving it at it.

00:47:37I'm like, oh God.

00:47:39So I gotta go.

00:47:40I gotta go throwing rocks in water.

00:47:41I also forgot that I added underneath

00:47:43the banner of this one,

00:47:44kicking a rock down a big hill

00:47:46as part of the water one.

00:47:46So that's good to see.

00:47:48Yeah.

00:47:48Like you ever see videos where like guys

00:47:49will like line up and they'll dislodge

00:47:51like a boulder with their legs off,

00:47:53off like a hill and it'll just like

00:47:54roll down the hill and explode.

00:47:56It is, it's good stuff.

00:47:58So right now we are one for the,

00:48:00you're going for the rock.

00:48:02Sorry, Rudy.

00:48:03Yes.

00:48:04One for the rock, KB.

00:48:05Yeah.

00:48:05I mean, Wikipedia is one of my favorite things.

00:48:07I'd rather go to Wikipedia than like Hilton head.

00:48:12So Wikipedia.

00:48:15That's the code card for the episode right there.

00:48:18Uh, one to one, Nick.

00:48:20Yeah.

00:48:20Wikipedia, Kyle.

00:48:22Like I reread the Ernest Hemingway

00:48:24Wikipedia last night.

00:48:25It is one of, I like reading books.

00:48:28I like reading magazines, newspapers.

00:48:30The Ernest Hemingway Wikipedia is one of

00:48:31the best reads I've ever had in my life.

00:48:33Fascinating.

00:48:34And I love the way it's laid out

00:48:35just in like small paragraphs, factual,

00:48:38no bullshit.

00:48:40Yeah.

00:48:40The reveal of the back-to-back plane crashes.

00:48:42He survived back-to-back plane crashes.

00:48:44Whoa.

00:48:45All right.

00:48:45Spoiler alert.

00:48:47I might want to read this one.

00:48:49I.O. and suicide.

00:48:53Dude, he had a bizarro life.

00:48:54Uh, two to one in favor of Wikipedia, Tommy.

00:48:58Stop.

00:48:59I'm struggling a little bit with the

00:49:00Wikipedia from the sanctity of the bracket perspective.

00:49:03It's, it's allowed, but it's a struggle.

00:49:05Uh, the rocks is good.

00:49:08I don't read Wikipedia enough.

00:49:10I do it mainly just like look something up quick, but

00:49:15I want to start doing it more tonight.

00:49:16I'm going to read the Ernest Hemingway one.

00:49:18Um, so sanctity of myself.

00:49:22I'm going to go with the rocks.

00:49:23Two to two, dude, you're going to tie break.

00:49:25Yeah.

00:49:25This is the easiest one of all time.

00:49:26It's reading Wikipedia.

00:49:29I think I'm a low key.

00:49:32Nerd, not in a smart way, but I love getting more information.

00:49:35And Wikipedia, I probably read five times a day.

00:49:37Like being on Tik TOK, find out like one little piece of information about someone

00:49:41immediately to Wikipedia for about three hours down a rabbit hole.

00:49:44I mean, you know, what's even better than Wikipedia now is chat GPT.

00:49:47If I find something, I just immediately ask.

00:49:49I never got, I can't get into that.

00:49:52You're doing it wrong, brother.

00:49:53Chat GPT.

00:49:54And I hate getting in an argument with someone and they pull up facts.

00:49:57I like someone that will just get into an argument, like a lunchroom argument where

00:50:02nobody can like fact check.

00:50:03Let's do this old school.

00:50:04Yeah.

00:50:05I had, I, when I was 20, I came up with my own podcast and it was called facts lost in

00:50:10debate and you could not bring a phone.

00:50:11It's a good name for a podcast.

00:50:13I like that.

00:50:13Dukes.

00:50:14What the hell?

00:50:14And it was flid like fucking Long Island douche bag.

00:50:17FLID.

00:50:18I didn't know that was a thing.

00:50:21You know about flid?

00:50:22I do.

00:50:22Yeah.

00:50:23Kendrick, do you know about?

00:50:24I'd never heard about that.

00:50:25You've never heard of flid?

00:50:26No.

00:50:27Never heard of that.

00:50:28No.

00:50:28Yeah.

00:50:29Well, I think it makes more sense for me to like, yeah, flid.

00:50:32That's a good, that's a good, that's a good name for a podcast.

00:50:34Uh, but yeah, you prefer like the Frank, the tank style of argument where it's like, let

00:50:37me just throw ethical lies at you.

00:50:39And then all you could be like, that's, that's not true.

00:50:41It's like, prove it.

00:50:42Yeah, it was fucking proved me wrong.

00:50:44Uh, so Wikipedia is going to move on.

00:50:46Now we have the 10 seed versus the seven seed.

00:50:48The 10 seed is fiddling with poker chips in your hand.

00:50:50Uh, the sound is good, but the, oh, never.

00:50:55There's not necessarily a cost involved with just doing that.

00:50:59The desire for, I, it's not enough to be in my hands.

00:51:03I want to try to bite cause I think it'll be soft and a good feel.

00:51:05Yeah.

00:51:06You want to do more.

00:51:06I want to do more.

00:51:08Uh, so filling with poker chips in your hand versus number seven seed, which is making

00:51:12a vortex with a bottle that you're emptying out.

00:51:14So like you take the bottle and you go like, and it comes out really fast.

00:51:18And in addition, adding onto that, just clearing up a drain where all the water is clogged

00:51:23up and then it all just goes down.

00:51:25Yeah.

00:51:25So any sort of, this is like the water, making a water cyclone of some kind.

00:51:30Um, going up against poker chips.

00:51:31So let's start with you Dukes.

00:51:33Shout out Owen.

00:51:34He used to fiddle with his poker chips all the time.

00:51:36And the ASMR that it would give me was unbelievable.

00:51:40He would be in his, in his room.

00:51:42Just, you could hear the poker chips going up and down.

00:51:44Sass would be playing call of duty, screaming like, oh no.

00:51:49And you just hear the poker chips.

00:51:50Owen gave me a lot of pleasure just by that ASMR.

00:51:53Jesus Christ.

00:51:55Like let me watch you play with your poker chips.

00:51:58Please, please.

00:51:59Sass is being so loud.

00:52:01Can you please play louder?

00:52:05This is acoustic jerking off, by the way, Rudy.

00:52:07Sitting in the poker chips.

00:52:09So one for the poker chips, Tommy.

00:52:10Can you walk me through the water one a little bit more?

00:52:12So you ever take like a bottle, like you would take this thing and like,

00:52:15and so you need to empty it out for whatever it is.

00:52:17You're dumping it out and you just go like that.

00:52:19So that it's like a vortex.

00:52:20I have never done that.

00:52:21Oh, it's good stuff.

00:52:22And then just a clearing up like a drain in general.

00:52:24So that it causes all the water to drain out of a basin or of some kind.

00:52:28That is good, but I'll go with the poker chips.

00:52:31Two for the poker chips, Nick.

00:52:32Speaking of draining liquid, I'm going to go big.

00:52:34The tiny ass water.

00:52:35Poker chips, but I'm not happy about it.

00:52:37I almost refrained.

00:52:39KB?

00:52:40I have to go poker chips, but I do like the idea of like creating a vortex for free.

00:52:47I don't think I've ever done it.

00:52:48So I'm going to go poker chips.

00:52:49We've, I think, both talked about the videos where they like clear up a drain.

00:52:52Yeah, the drain guy, it's a good watch.

00:52:55Yeah, those give me something.

00:52:57Rudy?

00:52:58Yeah, I can't believe I didn't think of this,

00:53:01but along the same lines of the poker chip is twirling a pen.

00:53:05You're good at that.

00:53:06You are good.

00:53:07That takes, that takes like a guy that started fucking at a young age to do.

00:53:12That is a fucking young move.

00:53:1618, though.

00:53:17But I, during COVID, I was so bored.

00:53:20Yeah, it's a turn off now.

00:53:21I don't think it's cool.

00:53:23I got so bored that I learned how to, I taught myself.

00:53:26I took a whole day and I learned how to do it lefty.

00:53:28So I can do both hands.

00:53:29Damn.

00:53:30That was a great day.

00:53:31But so I, I, I, I'll put poker tricks in that same camp.

00:53:34I didn't do the vortex a lot.

00:53:36I remember when I lived in Texas, my billet family had a hot tub and I used to always

00:53:39like to make the bubbles spin and I would, I would spin them around.

00:53:42That was pretty fun.

00:53:44But it does, it doesn't hold a candle to being able to fiddle with something.

00:53:47So I'll go poker chips.

00:53:48You ever create a whirlpool in an above ground pool?

00:53:50That's why trash like.

00:53:51That's a blast.

00:53:53Yeah.

00:53:54Yeah.

00:53:54That's good stuff.

00:53:56But either way, the poker chips going to move on.

00:53:58I wish you could do that one poker chip move.

00:53:59I remember they did in Casino Royale where like you flip it between your knuckles.

00:54:02I tried it so many times.

00:54:03I think you need like giant hands to do it or something.

00:54:05You can't do it.

00:54:07So the poker chips can move on.

00:54:08Now we have the two seed versus the 15 seed.

00:54:10The two seed finding sticks that look like guns.

00:54:14That is a hand.

00:54:16Yeah.

00:54:16That is, that's one of Nick's additions.

00:54:18That is a great one.

00:54:19Finding bad.

00:54:20Yeah.

00:54:21Finding a stick.

00:54:21There was one I saw the other day.

00:54:22There's a guy that there's a Twitter account that or TikTok account that does it.

00:54:26And I think it ticked Twitter or TikTok too.

00:54:28Or both of them where it's just like collecting sticks that look like guns.

00:54:32And the collection is incredible.

00:54:34It looks like they're in like the Matrix armory scene where it's just all

00:54:37stacks of sticks that look like guns.

00:54:39It's incredible.

00:54:40And that's going up against the number 15 seed.

00:54:42Having a beer with a label that you can pull off whenever the hoes arrive to the function.

00:54:47Yeah.

00:54:47I've done that.

00:54:48I start etching.

00:54:49Yeah.

00:54:50That's getting ripped off.

00:54:51Yeah.

00:54:51Like a Rosetta stone.

00:54:52I'm creating my own piece.

00:54:54The second they get there, I'm just sitting there.

00:54:56What's that little roll you got going there?

00:54:58And it's like, yeah, that's.

00:54:58And then I get like the kind of glitter on my fingers.

00:55:02Yeah.

00:55:02Yep.

00:55:02Heineken.

00:55:03That always gives me a little bit of glitter on it.

00:55:06So scratching off that beer label versus finding a stick that looks like a gun.

00:55:11Start with you, Rudy.

00:55:13I can't say I have any feeling towards any of these.

00:55:17I'd never have like, I'd never really peel the labels off stuff.

00:55:20You don't get scared when the hoes come around?

00:55:24No, I guess not.

00:55:25Oh, is that what that means?

00:55:28I don't know.

00:55:29I don't do that.

00:55:30And then the stick one I like finding.

00:55:32I used to love finding sticks and stuff, but I never really thought about them as guns.

00:55:35But I'm sure I did do that at some point.

00:55:36So I'll go with sticks.

00:55:37One for sticks.

00:55:38KB.

00:55:42Yeah, a good stick is a top thrill.

00:55:45I mean, I do do the other thing, but it's more of a coping mechanism.

00:55:51Then a stick.

00:55:53I always hoped my patterns on the beer bottle would impress them.

00:55:56It's like, wow, that looks really cool.

00:56:01Are you an artist?

00:56:04You must be.

00:56:06Nick?

00:56:08A good stick is worth a thousand hoes at the fun fair.

00:56:14Hoes I'm scared of.

00:56:16Yeah, yeah.

00:56:17I did have a little bit of a period, though.

00:56:19Remember in what's that Leo movie?

00:56:22Catch me if you can.

00:56:23He ripped the labels off everything.

00:56:24Yeah, yeah.

00:56:25I was a kid.

00:56:25I thought he was so cool.

00:56:26So I did it for I guess I did do that for a little bit.

00:56:28Yeah, yeah.

00:56:28OK.

00:56:29But yours wasn't because of crippling anxiety and something to do with your hands because

00:56:33of a man I thought was cool.

00:56:34Yeah.

00:56:36Do you ever you roll it up and put it into the empty beer bottle?

00:56:39That's usually where I end up with it.

00:56:41Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:56:43I've had a stick, I think, for about probably close to.

00:56:46Probably close to 25 years now, my garage that I found.

00:56:50Oh, yeah.

00:56:50Connective.

00:56:52Yeah.

00:56:52Twenty five straight years.

00:56:53One year.

00:56:53We'll see the guy back, though.

00:56:54Yeah, no, it was that poor stick, man.

00:56:59It's no, it's great.

00:57:00It was a prisoner.

00:57:01Even be a rat.

00:57:01No, probably wouldn't be existing anymore if I didn't bring it in.

00:57:05It feels like a prisoner.

00:57:06No.

00:57:06OK, I'll release it.

00:57:07Yeah, let it go.

00:57:09See how far it can get.

00:57:10What it comes back like a chef boy or a stick.

00:57:12That's nice.

00:57:13Yeah.

00:57:13Did you search for, like, a Gandalf type staff after all the rings?

00:57:16Because I tried.

00:57:16Yes, yes, yes, yes.

00:57:18I wanted one so bad, like with that little warp with you could put the thing in.

00:57:21I wanted it.

00:57:22I could never find one that.

00:57:23But imagine if Gandalf staff looked like a bazooka.

00:57:26Yeah, no.

00:57:29And he was just like, that'd be cool if it just Gandalf had a bazooka.

00:57:32But wouldn't a wooden bazooka?

00:57:34Yeah, if it was like a stick that looked like a gun and he shot it like a gun at people

00:57:38with spells, it would be cool.

00:57:39a gun and he shot it like a gun at people with spells.

00:57:42It would be a different type of movie.

00:57:44Tommy, I'm going to peel and peel and stickers off.

00:57:48I think, you know, maybe a sticker on your desk, like in school or something.

00:57:52And you're peeling it off.

00:57:53It could be a little frustrating.

00:57:54Don't get me wrong.

00:57:55It can be frustrating.

00:57:56But once you get that corner off at first and a good little peel one for the beer label.

00:58:03Yeah, I think the beer label can go for any drink.

00:58:08And I don't think that I've gotten social anxiety in my life.

00:58:11Thanks to that.

00:58:12I mean, every conversation I'm in, if I have something in my hand, I peel it off because

00:58:15every time I'm like a little bit anxious.

00:58:17You know what?

00:58:17I do a lot for that is I take straw wrappers.

00:58:21Very small balls.

00:58:22Oh, yeah.

00:58:24I'll be in a conversation.

00:58:25Wrap around my finger like a ring.

00:58:26Oh, yeah.

00:58:27Yes.

00:58:28And I'll be in like a conversation and like with my hands by the end of the conversation.

00:58:31Like, well, I didn't mean to do that.

00:58:32Yeah.

00:58:33I'm like, how did this happen?

00:58:34No, you did it.

00:58:35Yeah.

00:58:35I'm like, this isn't you.

00:58:36This is me.

00:58:37Yeah.

00:58:38Either way, the finding the sticks that look like guns is going to move on.

00:58:42Now we can do a run through a place for that.

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00:59:23I'm trying to think of what I want to spend one of those on this weekend.

00:59:26It's probably going to be.

00:59:27I want the bills to win so bad.

00:59:29I'm almost starting.

00:59:30I'm starting a roof for the Chiefs just because I want everyone to start.

00:59:34First of all, seeing a three-peat would be cool.

00:59:37That's never been done ever.

00:59:38It would be.

00:59:39Being alive for a three-peat.

00:59:40I don't know.

00:59:41I've always thought it's quite frankly gay when people just hate a team because they're good.

00:59:46Grow up.

00:59:46Oh, the team's so good.

00:59:48I hope they don't win again.

00:59:48Who cares?

00:59:49I never felt that way with the Patriots or anything.

00:59:53For me, it's a divisional thing.

00:59:54So that makes more sense.

00:59:55But for you, it doesn't.

00:59:56I guess it's Johns.

00:59:57I don't give a fuck.

00:59:58The Chiefs win the Super Bowl.

01:00:00Bills win the Super Bowl.

01:00:01How does that affect my life?

01:00:02There's a lot of other things going on.

01:00:03I think there's funny opportunities.

01:00:06I would love to see the Chiefs make the Super Bowl, and Patrick Mahomes gets hurt,

01:00:11and Carson Wentz beats the Eagles.

01:00:12I knew that was going to happen.

01:00:15Carson Wentz comes in.

01:00:17Carson Wentz and Andy Reid beat the Eagles.

01:00:19That's funny.

01:00:20That hadn't even crossed my mind.

01:00:21That is now the exact scenario that I'm rooting for.

01:00:23The Buffalo Bills make the Super Bowl.

01:00:25They play the Commanders.

01:00:26They lose.

01:00:27They finally beat the Chiefs.

01:00:28There's some funny scenarios.

01:00:29You lose to a rookie court.

01:00:30I'm rooting for some funny scenarios like that.

01:00:33Chiefs, Commanders, as I close my eyes and I envision these four matchups.

01:00:36Commanders and Chiefs, actually, would be the cool way to announce that.

01:00:39Nice.

01:00:39That's the one I just can't see that.

01:00:42All the other ones, it's like...

01:00:43It's the colors for me.

01:00:46You can or can't?

01:00:47Can't.

01:00:48Yeah, yeah.

01:00:48Chiefs-Eagles rematch.

01:00:51Bills-Eagles are two really good teams.

01:00:52Bills-Commanders, I think they've played in the past.

01:00:54That makes sense to me.

01:00:55Chiefs-Commanders?

01:00:56They've played in the Super Bowl before.

01:00:57Right.

01:00:58That's what I meant.

01:00:58I know they've played in the past at some point.

01:01:03Chiefs-Commanders, no, that doesn't sit right in my tummy.

01:01:06Yeah, it's ugly.

01:01:08So yeah, now we can run through our playoffs real quick.

01:01:09Speaking of their playoffs.

01:01:11First is dropping something down a shaft, which we talked about before,

01:01:13versus chilling in the mall.

01:01:15Start with you, Dukes.

01:01:16I'm surprised Rubik's Cube didn't make it.

01:01:18But going off that...

01:01:19You have to buy the Rubik's Cube.

01:01:21We were all thinking it.

01:01:22Everybody watching is thinking, where the hell is Rubik's Cube?

01:01:26What about PlayStation 5?

01:01:30Damn.

01:01:30Can't believe we didn't think of that one.

01:01:32I guess it's one of those things I just...

01:01:34Sound off in the comments, where the fuck is Rubik's Cube?

01:01:39Where the fuck is Fogo to chow?

01:01:41Yeah, damn.

01:01:43Because Rubik's Cube is not one of those things that I feel like anyone buys.

01:01:46No, it's fair.

01:01:48Still, I would never play with it.

01:01:50I think I've had 12 Rubik's Cubes in my life.

01:01:52I've bought zero.

01:01:54Yeah, you don't buy that.

01:01:55It's a good point.

01:01:57Hanging out at the mall.

01:01:59Chilling at the mall.

01:02:01The free samples.

01:02:02Going to GameStop.

01:02:03Playing the free video games.

01:02:05Trying out the new video games.

01:02:07Going to sleepies.

01:02:08Sleeping in all the beds.

01:02:10I'm thinking about when the Tempur-Pedic bed came out.

01:02:12Would you actually sleep?

01:02:14When the Tempur-Pedic bed came out...

01:02:15You gotta sleep.

01:02:17When the Tempur-Pedic bed came, we would all...

01:02:21But I would lay in the beds there, and then the mall cop would come.

01:02:23He'd chase you.

01:02:24There was something exhilarating about that.

01:02:27Then we'd hide in the bookstore.

01:02:28Be a Roosevelt feel, guys.

01:02:29Oh, yes.

01:02:30Own that place.

01:02:31Yep.

01:02:34Don't go to Roosevelt Field Mall without chewing.

01:02:35Do you think we've ever been to Roosevelt Field Mall at the same time?

01:02:37Probably not.

01:02:38Odds on that have to be very low.

01:02:39I would imagine we have been.

01:02:41Really?

01:02:42Yeah.

01:02:42I would say no.

01:02:44I would confidently say no.

01:02:45Did you ever get pushed down the stairs at Roosevelt Field?

01:02:47I did not.

01:02:47All right.

01:02:49Maybe we haven't.

01:02:50That would be the only way.

01:02:51The only possible way that could have happened.

01:02:54You're going with chewing at the mall, Tommy.

01:02:55What is that up against?

01:02:56Throwing something down a shaft.

01:02:57Oh, mall.

01:02:58Easy.

01:02:59Easily.

01:03:02Mall.

01:03:02About mall and a long shot.

01:03:05Mall is going to win, but KB.

01:03:06Yeah.

01:03:07Don't go into the mall, especially if you're from a more rural area.

01:03:10The splendor and grandeur of that, you can't compare.

01:03:14The nearest good mall that had a food court was 40 minutes away.

01:03:19Damn, really?

01:03:19Because the Ohio Valley Mall didn't have a food court.

01:03:22Washington, PA.

01:03:23Yeah.

01:03:23Oh, my God.

01:03:25Damn.

01:03:2540 minutes.

01:03:26I think the closest one to me was maybe 10 minutes, max.

01:03:29It was like a special event for me, too.

01:03:31It was an event.

01:03:32Yeah, I see that adding on to it.

01:03:34Rudy?

01:03:34Yeah, mall.

01:03:35Because the best part about it is that you feel like it's yours.

01:03:37It's your space.

01:03:38You feel like you have some sort of connection, even though it is soulless and everyone else

01:03:43has that same feeling.

01:03:44You get used to the regulars.

01:03:45We had this crazy lady that would walk laps there, and we would always see her.

01:03:51And then the other exhilarating feeling is like you go see a friend, and then you go

01:03:54to their local mall, and you can see what's going on on the other side of the fence.

01:03:58My mall experience was probably the first time I've ever felt confident, because I was

01:04:01always afraid to go out with my parents and everything.

01:04:04I was afraid to go places alone.

01:04:06But then when I went with my boy Josh in Cleveland, my two boys, that was my most confident I've

01:04:12ever been.

01:04:13Those guys, that would help.

01:04:14You go to Cleveland with Josh, you're going to feel confident.

01:04:14Yeah, because Cleveland looks just like the singer Lloyd.

01:04:17He looks like Lloyd.

01:04:18No, no.

01:04:18Cleveland's another one of the guys.

01:04:19But Cleveland looks just like the R&B singer Lloyd.

01:04:23And so we would go to big malls, and people would think he's Lloyd.

01:04:27That's sick.

01:04:28I had to look up Lloyd.

01:04:29Yeah.

01:04:30I remember Lloyd.

01:04:31I don't remember what he looked like.

01:04:33Cleveland.

01:04:34Now I know.

01:04:36So the mall is going to move on.

01:04:38Rudy, you go with mall as well?

01:04:41Yeah.

01:04:42So now we have daydreaming versus digging a big hole, or just digging at the beach.

01:04:48I thought we already had this matchup.

01:04:49We had daydreaming versus jerking it, and digging a hole versus lying.

01:04:52Yeah.

01:04:53So Rudy, you're first.

01:04:54Daydreaming versus digging the hole at the beach.

01:04:56Daydreaming is kind of overpowered, because I can daydream about the best hole.

01:05:03Yep.

01:05:04Nix is that.

01:05:06Whatever way you take that, it's still sick.

01:05:09So daydreaming is just unbeatable, in my opinion, because anything is possible.

01:05:13Whereas with digging a hole, you have to leave the hole.

01:05:18Whereas daydreaming, you can just on to the next one, or on to the next daydream.

01:05:21So daydreaming, I'm realizing it is maybe one of my greatest pleasures.

01:05:28Also, the best part of the hole is when it's the biggest.

01:05:30And when it's the biggest, you're done.

01:05:31Yeah.

01:05:33Right.

01:05:34So one for daydreaming, KB.

01:05:37Yeah, I always go into the hole thinking I'm going to change the world.

01:05:41Why do I always stop?

01:05:42Something happens that makes me stop.

01:05:44You got to leave the beach.

01:05:45Yeah, you're running out of time.

01:05:47Okay, yeah, I'm going to go daydreaming.

01:05:49Two for daydreaming, Nick.

01:05:52It's daydreaming.

01:05:55It's daydreaming.

01:05:56Because I was in my head thinking about digging a hole, which just proved my point.

01:06:01Three for daydreaming is going to win the tie.

01:06:03Daydreaming.

01:06:03I think tonight, my persona, who's the quarterback of the Jets,

01:06:07is going to go on Call Her Daddy, maybe.

01:06:09Because I've just been seen with Sabrina Carpenter.

01:06:11Oh, wow.

01:06:14Very impressive.

01:06:15What's your Jets quarterback name?

01:06:17Tom Scabelli.

01:06:18Oh, nice.

01:06:19It's stemmed from my fake Madden league.

01:06:23What type of home do you live in and where?

01:06:24Okay, so this is honestly a major problem for me.

01:06:30We've talked about this before.

01:06:31I make myself the quarterback for team in Madden.

01:06:32But I haven't played Madden in a couple years.

01:06:35I know I'm a Giants fan.

01:06:36But for whatever reason, I was the Jets.

01:06:37I don't hate the Jets.

01:06:38I hate the Mets.

01:06:39So it's easy enough to daydream.

01:06:40And we're good.

01:06:40We won the last two Super Bowls.

01:06:42I haven't decided if we're going to win this Super Bowl or not.

01:06:44Because then I want to win it every year.

01:06:45But me, Garrett Wilson, we go to the clubs a lot.

01:06:47Brees Hall, Sauce Gardner.

01:06:48We all came up together.

01:06:49The core four.

01:06:50But here's my issue is that I want to be a New York City playboy, right?

01:06:53But the Jets practice facility is in Florham Park.

01:06:56It's in like Central Jersey.

01:06:57And that's where I would be Monday through Friday.

01:07:00So am I going to have to live in like Weehawken, New Jersey?

01:07:02So in my head, my workaround is I do have an apartment in Tribeca

01:07:06that I get to whenever I can.

01:07:08And then I have something in Weehawken too.

01:07:10But that's it's a major.

01:07:11I don't think that's a huge issue.

01:07:13It's a major issue.

01:07:15Yeah, I know.

01:07:16Then I go to Turks and Caicos in the offseason and shit.

01:07:19Where's the Giants practice facility?

01:07:21It used to be Hofstra.

01:07:22Closer.

01:07:23No, Jets used to be Hofstra.

01:07:24That would have been great.

01:07:26The Giants one, it's closer.

01:07:28It's like by Hoboken.

01:07:30It's actually right where they play.

01:07:31It's next to the stadium.

01:07:32It's next to MetLife Stadium.

01:07:33Why don't you request a trade?

01:07:35That's just very unrealistic.

01:07:37My legacy would be ruined.

01:07:38Requesting a trade from the Jets to the Giants.

01:07:40And listen, I am a Giant fan.

01:07:41But what I have going with the Jets right now isn't very realistic.

01:07:45It's very special.

01:07:46What?

01:07:47Yeah, it's in East Rutherford.

01:07:48Yeah, they're good.

01:07:49Go to Philadelphia and have the apartment in Tribeca.

01:07:53That'd be so far.

01:07:54You're talking about going to the Eagles?

01:07:55Or are you saying...

01:07:56No, I'm not going to the Eagles.

01:07:58Okay.

01:07:58We're building a dynasty.

01:08:00Well, obviously.

01:08:01Yeah, he's not going to the Eagles.

01:08:02We beat the Bengals in round one.

01:08:04We hosted the Ravens on Sunday.

01:08:06I haven't daydreamed that one quite yet.

01:08:09You haven't gotten to it yet.

01:08:10We're going to win that.

01:08:11It's a matter of if we're going to beat the Chiefs or not.

01:08:12I haven't decided.

01:08:14So daydreaming versus hanging out at the mall to go into the finals.

01:08:17Rudy.

01:08:20Daydreaming.

01:08:21Without question.

01:08:22Were you daydreaming about being at the mall?

01:08:24All the way.

01:08:25I was going to say, I honestly think there's something better than digging a hole at the

01:08:29beach, and that is sprinting into the ocean and jumping over the first wave like you're

01:08:32scoring a touchdown.

01:08:33We're just getting pulverized by the waves.

01:08:35Yeah.

01:08:36Getting annihilated by waves.

01:08:37I was getting whomped.

01:08:40A lot of aquatic ones.

01:08:41Leaning against the wall of a pool like you're Spider-Man.

01:08:44Oh, yeah.

01:08:46But daydreaming.

01:08:48Daydreaming for me, too.

01:08:50Have any of you ever worked in a mall?

01:08:53No.

01:08:54No.

01:08:54I would love to, though.

01:08:55I thought it would be a cool fraternity.

01:08:57You would hang out with the people from the other stores, and they would close down.

01:09:01You guys would do fun shit.

01:09:02Like Dane Cook and Employee of the Month.

01:09:04Yes.

01:09:04Oh, my God.

01:09:05Yeah.

01:09:06That just sounded like the year 2007.

01:09:08I don't know why.

01:09:09That is when it came out, I'm pretty sure.

01:09:10Employee of the Month.

01:09:11Really?

01:09:12Yeah.

01:09:12It's right around then.

01:09:13I feel like malls peaked then.

01:09:15Yeah.

01:09:15For us, yes.

01:09:17Social media killed the mall.

01:09:18The GNC I worked at was in the mall.

01:09:20It was miserable, by the way.

01:09:21Not fun.

01:09:22When I was a kid, they took away KB Toys and EB Games.

01:09:26You love those acronyms, yeah.

01:09:28I would complain to my mom constantly.

01:09:30I'm like, they're not thinking about the fucking customer base.

01:09:34Oh, yeah.

01:09:34We need another store where you can buy an artisan scarf.

01:09:39Oh, good God.

01:09:40We need another woman.

01:09:41That wasn't what my mom was thinking.

01:09:42We need another phone case salesman.

01:09:44There it is.

01:09:45In the new tight of really dark indigo wash jeans.

01:09:48Another emoji pillow guy.

01:09:50One of my boys, he loved stealing the crystals from the crystal.

01:09:55That's fucked up.

01:09:56I know.

01:09:56I'd never really liked it.

01:09:57He's like, watch this.

01:09:58And he would just steal little crystals constantly.

01:10:00Did you guys have the real showy helicopter on a cool string guy?

01:10:04There was this guy with the tech that floated.

01:10:08Floating tech guy.

01:10:09And then the splat ball guy.

01:10:12Or the dead ski scroll lady who we've talked about before.

01:10:14Then she's saying the hottie European.

01:10:18I got my dad a head massager from those women once,

01:10:21because they just had me in their trance.

01:10:23They get you.

01:10:24Bit of a side note, but you mentioned it.

01:10:26Don't you guys have scarves?

01:10:27You guys have a scarf?

01:10:28Yeah.

01:10:28I don't.

01:10:29Yeah, scarves go a long way.

01:10:31People look at me and say, who's this guy?

01:10:33I think he is.

01:10:33I don't like him.

01:10:34Are you wearing it out?

01:10:35What type of scarf?

01:10:36The first time you wear it, it's going to be uncomfortable,

01:10:38but you can get through it.

01:10:39What type of scarf?

01:10:39I don't know.

01:10:40I haven't done any research.

01:10:43Nothing too flashy.

01:10:45Nothing too showy.

01:10:48I could see you with a really thin gray one.

01:10:50I was picturing gray as well.

01:10:51I was picturing gray as well.

01:10:53Yeah, just add that to my to-do list.

01:10:55Buy a gray scarf.

01:10:56Uh, so we're right now, Tommy.

01:10:58We're two for daydreaming.

01:10:59No, no.

01:10:59That's a laptop.

01:11:00That's a laptop activity.

01:11:02Fair.

01:11:03Two for daydreaming.

01:11:04Nick versus the mall.

01:11:06I'm going mall, man.

01:11:07That was like the first taste of freedom.

01:11:09That was the perfect crossover of no responsibility and freedom.

01:11:13That was like a very small overlap because usually when you got freedom,

01:11:17you got responsibility that came with it.

01:11:18This was that one point in time.

01:11:19Perfect point in time.

01:11:21Neither.

01:11:22Also, I like the fact that it felt like a quest, but there was no objective.

01:11:26Like you don't know what might happen.

01:11:27It was an open world game.

01:11:28Yeah.

01:11:29Yeah.

01:11:29You don't know what might happen.

01:11:30No main quest line.

01:11:31Yeah.

01:11:32Back then, like now you go to the mall with an objective.

01:11:34Back then, you just went to the mall to go to the mall.

01:11:37I get that.

01:11:38And then you have the back of mine.

01:11:40I'm going to go to Paxon or Urban Outfitters, and I'm going to get some piece of clothing

01:11:43that's going to get me so much pussy.

01:11:46That's when I started to hate the mall.

01:11:47Yeah.

01:11:48When you were buying shit.

01:11:49Yeah.

01:11:51Going to the mall in 10 bucks is great.

01:11:53Yeah.

01:11:53But going to Paxon and seeing all the shirts.

01:11:57That was cool to see the shirts.

01:11:58Yeah.

01:12:00We're two for daydreaming, one for the mall.

01:12:01Tommy?

01:12:02Daydreaming.

01:12:03Daydreaming.

01:12:04Daydreaming is going to win, but.

01:12:07I'll go with going to the mall.

01:12:09With that said, though, I used to think, I don't know if this is going to make sense

01:12:11besides just my mall, but the people in the middle of the mall with their stores.

01:12:16My mom told me one time they were scammers.

01:12:18So now I always think that the people in the middle are just scammers.

01:12:21I don't trust them.

01:12:21They probably are.

01:12:22They probably are.

01:12:22A lot of them are.

01:12:23And she told me this at a time period where the Power Balance bracelets were being sold

01:12:27there.

01:12:27And I was like, yep, my mom's right again.

01:12:29I forgot about those.

01:12:30Yeah.

01:12:31Yep.

01:12:33Unless it's like an Auntie Anne's, I feel like you're in the middle.

01:12:35Right.

01:12:35Sometimes it's like a Starbucks.

01:12:37Scam.

01:12:38Also a scam.

01:12:39So Daydream's going to go into the finals.

01:12:40On the other side, we have Wikipedia Rabbit Holes versus Breaking Ice.

01:12:44Wikipedia Rabbit Hole.

01:12:45It could not have answered quicker.

01:12:46Yeah.

01:12:47Do you guys ever play that game where you try to go from Edgar Allen Poe's to the New

01:12:52England Patriots Dynasty?

01:12:53I've seen that.

01:12:54Only by clicking likes.

01:12:55Yeah.

01:12:55That's great.

01:12:56In like seven clicks.

01:12:57Yeah.

01:12:58I remember.

01:12:58They call it Wikipedia Speedruns.

01:13:00Yeah.

01:13:00When I was pledging my fraternity, you had to do that and they'd give you two things

01:13:04and you had to get it under like five minutes.

01:13:06I was so good at it.

01:13:08That's like the worst hazing.

01:13:09That is a haze.

01:13:10Yeah.

01:13:10But obviously, if you didn't get it, like something, you had to do something.

01:13:15Yeah.

01:13:16Straight as shit.

01:13:17Yeah.

01:13:17Something very straight.

01:13:18Wikipedia, one vote.

01:13:20I'll go Wikipedia.

01:13:21I want to use it more.

01:13:22I'm going to start using it more.

01:13:23You love it.

01:13:24You're the only person I know that doesn't use it.

01:13:25That's surprising.

01:13:26Steve J doesn't use it.

01:13:27I mean, I don't not use it, but like I don't use it in this way.

01:13:31Like I use it to like functionally look things up.

01:13:34I think I'm double digit times a day using Wikipedia.

01:13:36Yeah.

01:13:36Yes.

01:13:37Oh, absolutely.

01:13:38Yeah.

01:13:39I closed my tabs today.

01:13:40I randomly do it.

01:13:41I always have like 95 tabs.

01:13:42My iPhone open and I think 35 were just all Wikipedia.

01:13:47All of them?

01:13:47Yeah.

01:13:48Yeah.

01:13:49You don't have the app?

01:13:51The Wikipedia app.

01:13:51There's a Wikipedia app.

01:13:53That seems like it's not the same.

01:13:54I've never even thought about an app.

01:13:56I haven't even, I don't even want to know about the app, to be honest.

01:13:59A Wikipedia, two movies.

01:14:01Yeah.

01:14:01I liked using it straight through the browser or wherever Safari.

01:14:04A Wikipedia, two movies.

01:14:05Also, is that bullshit that it's not a good source to use like for school projects?

01:14:09Because we were using it.

01:14:09Did you use it for school projects?

01:14:11Yes, all the time.

01:14:11I just use the, I use the citations at the bottom.

01:14:13Exactly.

01:14:14Yeah.

01:14:15I think they just told you it wasn't good, but I'd say by now it's definitely good.

01:14:18I would just make up the citations and I'd get it from Wikipedia.

01:14:22Yeah.

01:14:23Brilliant.

01:14:23I was so smart.

01:14:25Yeah.

01:14:26We did Wikipedia all yesterday, all today for movies.

01:14:29I looked up about 15 different World War II aircraft.

01:14:31I do.

01:14:32After watching a movie, I do love to look up.

01:14:35That happens on TikTok a lot where it's like part one of 67.

01:14:38Yeah.

01:14:39And they stopped the movie a little bit to go.

01:14:41And if I don't feel like ordering the movie and renting the rest, I just go to Wikipedia.

01:14:45Pretty exhilarating.

01:14:47So two for Wikipedia.

01:14:49You're picking Wikipedia over breaking the ice, right?

01:14:51Yeah.

01:14:51So Nick.

01:14:53Wikipedia, Wikipedia.

01:14:56This is like an embarrassing...

01:14:59People are saying like reseed the bracket.

01:15:01How did this get in here?

01:15:03It's a blowout.

01:15:04And where the hell is Rubik's Cube?

01:15:05Where's Rubik's Cube?

01:15:06It's the awesome thing.

01:15:07Really?

01:15:07But I had a competition.

01:15:09Rubik's Cube just lost to Michigan.

01:15:12Won them in.

01:15:13KB.

01:15:14Yeah, Wikipedia by far.

01:15:16Wikipedia, Rudy.

01:15:18Man, I really love breaking ice.

01:15:20But when I really think about it, you guys have swayed me.

01:15:22Wikipedia is pretty legendary.

01:15:25And it can go in so many different directions.

01:15:26It can go in a depressing direction.

01:15:27Like reading about serial killers.

01:15:30Bad shit.

01:15:30Ernest Hemingway's dad killed himself.

01:15:32His sister killed himself and his brother.

01:15:34Okay, guys.

01:15:35How many fucking spoilers are you going to give me?

01:15:37Trust me.

01:15:37We have not even scratched the surface.

01:15:38No, you got a lot of Hemingway.

01:15:40Wait, sorry.

01:15:41Hemingway, not Alan Poe.

01:15:43Ernest Hemingway.

01:15:44Who is that Christian Bale movie about?

01:15:46The Blue-Eyed Raven.

01:15:47That's about Edgar Allen Poe.

01:15:48Okay, so I'm looking up Ernest Hemingway.

01:15:51Ernest Hemingway.

01:15:52Do you watch the Clive Owen movie about Hemingway?

01:15:54No.

01:15:55I love Clive Owen, though.

01:15:56I heard he's hard to work with on Wikipedia.

01:15:58Yeah, he plays Hemingway.

01:15:59And I think the movie's called Hemingway and...

01:16:01I forget who he worked with.

01:16:02But it's when he was on the...

01:16:04He was in a tropical island for a while.

01:16:05I forget which one.

01:16:06Oh, Cuba.

01:16:06He was on Cuba for a long time.

01:16:07Hemingway in Love?

01:16:08Is that what the movie was called?

01:16:09Or Hemingway?

01:16:09It was like him and whoever he worked with.

01:16:11I forget the other person's name.

01:16:12Because Hemingway's just cool and a guy.

01:16:14And I think the person was a girl.

01:16:15Do you guys ever go on Wikipedia late at night

01:16:18and you find out a new piece of information

01:16:20that shocks you so much?

01:16:21It gives you a second wind of air.

01:16:23And you're like, oh my god, now I can't go back to sleep.

01:16:25Yeah, there's...

01:16:25Last night was Lewy body dementia.

01:16:28Lewy body?

01:16:29I don't wanna know.

01:16:29That's what Robin Williams was diagnosed with

01:16:31before he killed himself.

01:16:32Jesus.

01:16:33I actually met Robin Williams

01:16:36right before he killed himself in Fordham Cemetery.

01:16:38Very weird.

01:16:38Very strange.

01:16:39Wow.

01:16:39On Fordham campus?

01:16:41Fordham, the cemetery.

01:16:42On the campus?

01:16:43Yeah, I guess so.

01:16:44Right back there.

01:16:44Filming the show Lewy.

01:16:47That's the only two shows I ever did a grip on.

01:16:48I ever gripped on was Lewy and then a Woody Allen movie.

01:16:51Just two and a half.

01:16:51I didn't know you were gripping.

01:16:52I didn't know that either.

01:16:53I was gripping.

01:16:54What's a best boy?

01:16:55A best boy is a guy that's in charge of a certain group of grips,

01:17:01if I remember correctly.

01:17:02Okay, that's what I always thought.

01:17:03That's a great title.

01:17:03Yeah, it is really good.

01:17:04My best boy.

01:17:06So now we have finding sticks that look like guns

01:17:09versus fiddling with poker chips.

01:17:10Rudy.

01:17:13What was the first one, sorry?

01:17:14Finding sticks that look like guns.

01:17:16Oh, fiddling.

01:17:17I'm going to go fiddling with poker chips,

01:17:19even though it's kind of, I'm kind of cheating

01:17:21because I'm thinking about fiddling with pens.

01:17:24But the sensation is the same.

01:17:25It's just a different thing.

01:17:27So I'm going to go poker chips.

01:17:28I think you get the sound on top of it.

01:17:29The sound of poker chips is great.

01:17:31Yeah, sound was a big issue for me with the pen thing.

01:17:33I actually almost got in trouble.

01:17:34I almost got detention because I was flipping my pen so much

01:17:37and you drop it.

01:17:38My chemistry teacher got fucking real pissed.

01:17:42And yeah, so.

01:17:44Yeah, so one for poker chip, KB.

01:17:48I think a good stick wins in overtime for me.

01:17:55One for the stick, Nick.

01:17:58So the discovery of the stick is the peak of having the stick,

01:18:01I think.

01:18:01I wasn't really big into swinging it.

01:18:03I was more into the hunt.

01:18:05I guess you couldn't do much.

01:18:06Fiddling, kind of evergreen.

01:18:09Because you can only, it's, it's, you get better.

01:18:13I'm going to go with fiddling.

01:18:14I have one move.

01:18:15Do any of you have like a move with a poker chip?

01:18:17No.

01:18:17I only have one where it's like I flip it the first one over

01:18:19the top one and that's it.

01:18:21But it's not, I can't do it with the knuckles.

01:18:22Oh, it is so fucking good at it.

01:18:24It's unbelievable.

01:18:25I got to see him.

01:18:26Yeah.

01:18:26I can't believe you guys don't know about.

01:18:29He's seen him.

01:18:29I know he's a poker fan.

01:18:31He used to at his desk or like walk around the office.

01:18:33Can you take a video for us?

01:18:35I'm actually, I'm just going to walk up to him with like five

01:18:37poker chips tomorrow and see what he does.

01:18:39Yeah.

01:18:40I used to do the lightsaber more though with the stick than the

01:18:44gun.

01:18:44I used to like playing it with it.

01:18:46Underneath the banner of this, I guess I think that's fine.

01:18:50Tommy.

01:18:51It's tough.

01:18:52It's not a great matchup.

01:18:53I mean, both are, they're playing to get just get who gets

01:18:55to go lose to Wikipedia.

01:18:58I'll go with stick, but I don't feel great about it.

01:19:01Stick.

01:19:01I wasn't a big stick guy.

01:19:04He played the coolest kid I know.

01:19:08Owen is like one of the coolest kids.

01:19:11When he first started working here, he's playing like poker

01:19:13games all the time and he was doing it in the apartment.

01:19:15I was like, this, this guy knows what he's doing.

01:19:17I'll go.

01:19:18I'll vote for Owen on this.

01:19:19So poker chips, fiddling with poker chips versus Wikipedia.

01:19:22Is this just a route?

01:19:23Should we just skip to the final?

01:19:24Yeah.

01:19:26I said we just skip straight into, so Wikipedia versus

01:19:29daydreaming.

01:19:29This is a good finals.

01:19:30I think actually these are actually, these are the things

01:19:35I'm always doing.

01:19:35Yeah.

01:19:36This is either on Wikipedia or daydreaming about being on

01:19:40Wikipedia.

01:19:41No, but that would mean Wikipedia is an automatic winner.

01:19:43Then I'm not doing that.

01:19:45A little throwaway line.

01:19:47Floral Park Memorial.

01:19:50I want to see if you made notable alumni.

01:19:52I have not.

01:19:55I mean, you could look, it's, I don't know.

01:19:57I haven't checked in, I don't know, a week.

01:19:58No, it's been a while.

01:20:02So the Wikipedia versus daydreaming.

01:20:05Start with you, Dukes.

01:20:06Honestly, not even close.

01:20:07Four game sweep, Wikipedia.

01:20:09Four game sweep for Wikipedia.

01:20:11Tommy.

01:20:12Can somebody do that?

01:20:13Can somebody go on and add me to Floral Park?

01:20:15There's no notable.

01:20:16I can do it.

01:20:17I had a group of guys that listened to the Yak add me to

01:20:19every band they could find, and I'm still on some of them.

01:20:22That's the best part.

01:20:23We don't even have a notable alumni section.

01:20:25That goes back to lying, like lying on Wikipedia.

01:20:28Sometimes I find very funny.

01:20:29Yeah.

01:20:30Like when people put in.

01:20:31Wait, no, you have notable alumni.

01:20:32Memorial High School.

01:20:33Wait, no, this is Jersey.

01:20:35Nevermind.

01:20:36This is a different one.

01:20:38Yeah, I can't even find your high school's Wikipedia.

01:20:40What the fuck?

01:20:40I found it, but it's brief.

01:20:44Am I up?

01:20:45Yeah, you're daydreaming.

01:20:46I mean, so many different lives, different professions that I have.

01:20:53It's one of my favorite things to do.

01:20:56One to one right now.

01:20:56Nick, I'm going Wikipedia, man.

01:21:00I am so thankful for it.

01:21:02Wikipedia.

01:21:02But do I want that winning because it's technically not free?

01:21:07It's very close.

01:21:08Daydreaming is as free as it gets.

01:21:11I think there's an avenue to get it for free, so I think it should be okay.

01:21:14But daydreaming is limited to my knowledge.

01:21:18Wikipedia has more options than my daydreaming.

01:21:20Wikipedia is limited to what's on it.

01:21:22Daydream is limitless.

01:21:23Daydreaming, you can do more.

01:21:25But I can't think of.

01:21:26But the best part about being on your daydreaming is you can be wrong.

01:21:29In fact, it's almost exclusively being wrong.

01:21:32Yeah.

01:21:32I'm going Wikipedia.

01:21:34Going Wikipedia?

01:21:35Two to one right now, KB.

01:21:37It's a tough one.

01:21:39I would rather come in like just from a point of like I learn a fun tidbit and then I have

01:21:44that rather than what I was thinking about.

01:21:47It's more rewarding than anything.

01:21:50I'm still going to go daydreaming.

01:21:51Barely.

01:21:52Barely.

01:21:53We're two to two.

01:21:53That means, Rudy, you're going to break the tie on this finals.

01:21:56Well, I have an idea.

01:21:57But I just opened up Wikipedia on my phone, the app, and it says explore.

01:22:00This could change everything.

01:22:02Explore Wikipedia in review.

01:22:04See insights about what articles we read.

01:22:06Oh, I thought it was going to be a wrapped about.

01:22:07Wikipedia wrapped would be insane.

01:22:09Dan, that would be awesome.

01:22:11But I think it's about like it's about like their highlights, not mine.

01:22:14Damn.

01:22:15You were the top one percent of Ernest Hemingway.

01:22:17Wikipedia.

01:22:18You are for sure.

01:22:19Here's the thing.

01:22:20This is a really tough one.

01:22:21But for me, it's which one would be worse to lose if I had to live in a.

01:22:25Oh, I mean, it's way worse to lose daydream.

01:22:29You can't fucking think.

01:22:31I don't count all thinking under daydreaming.

01:22:34No, but like specifically daydreaming in terms of like fantasizing about being on

01:22:37Hot Ones or going on Caller Daddy as the Jets quarterback, not being able to daydream would

01:22:43take away almost 80 percent of what I do.

01:22:47So and then Wikipedia, I could it would hurt, but there'd be other avenues to find out

01:22:51information.

01:22:51YouTube still exists, which is a huge thank God for the video essay.

01:22:55So I'm going to I'm going to go daydreaming.

01:22:57I didn't vote for daydreaming once, but I would like to get this out there.

01:23:00The one thing I daydream the most about is bombing in comedy.

01:23:04Oh, oh, yeah.

01:23:05Oh, it's like going to a trade center, giving myself my best material I've ever written

01:23:13and nobody laughing.

01:23:15Why do you daydream about that?

01:23:16Do you have comic aspirations?

01:23:17Nightmare.

01:23:19Somewhat because I want to do comedy one time in my life where it's like an open mic.

01:23:24Nobody knows who I am.

01:23:25I go up.

01:23:26I bomb because I think once you bomb on a comedy stage, you can do anything.

01:23:29I would like to do that one day, too.

01:23:30You want to do that together?

01:23:31Yeah, I think so.

01:23:32I think if you bomb on a comedy stage, you could do legitimately anything.

01:23:36Yeah, but it wasn't my jokes.

01:23:37I bombed the scariest thing in the world.

01:23:39Yeah, I bombed in character reading other people's jokes.

01:23:42But like, so sure, I could take the gaze of the room.

01:23:45But at the same time, I was like, these aren't my jokes.

01:23:48If I knew it was like a joke that I was like, this is funny and people didn't laugh, that

01:23:51would pain me to no end.

01:23:53How do you purposely do that?

01:23:54You get what I'm saying?

01:23:55How do you purposely want to do it?

01:23:57I don't want to go fucking kill it.

01:24:05When you want to bomb because of the I don't I don't want to bomb.

01:24:09But I want to have had bombed.

01:24:12Yes.

01:24:12Once.

01:24:12Right.

01:24:13Yeah.

01:24:14Yes.

01:24:15Because you think that after that, anything's possible.

01:24:17You can do anything.

01:24:18You're stronger than anything.

01:24:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:24:20I think any social setting, you'll be fine.

01:24:22Yeah.

01:24:23So the winner of the bracket 159 is daydreaming.

01:24:25Some of the honorable mentions kicking, kicking an object down the sidewalk.

01:24:28Nick had also Andy's chocolate after Olive Garden.

01:24:32Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:24:34But you have to pay for the meal at Olive Garden to get there.

01:24:36So that was a tougher one to try.

01:24:38But that's a that's a it's a whole different thing.

01:24:39I don't have to give you.

01:24:40Yeah, it was tougher.

01:24:41Spinning a coin.

01:24:42Also doing like the and then they go.

01:24:44Try to stop it with your finger.

01:24:46Yeah.

01:24:47People watching long shower.

01:24:48Some other ones were just like there's missing a little bit something.

01:24:50Rubik's Cube.

01:24:51Yeah.

01:24:52Oh, and Rubik's Cube.

01:24:53An update to our best comedians bracket from a couple of weeks ago.

01:24:58Shane Gillis commented on and said that he would have picked Louie.

01:25:00So I think that pretty much solidifies our decision because I think we picked him over

01:25:05Gillis at one point.

01:25:07But yeah, so that's the episode.

01:25:08We'll be back next week with a new topic.

01:25:23Bye.

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