Film Gorillas
  • 4 years ago

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00:00He's not. Funny.
00:01:00Well, Francis, you certainly put us in the mood. And now to return to the Court of Inhuman
00:01:23Relations and that legal eagle of Buffalo...
00:01:26Hello? Yeah.
00:01:27This is Johnny Goodell. Okay, put him on. Mr. Jamieson? Well, this is a pleasure.
00:01:34Now, they told me you were getting back from Brazil today. The show's terrific, isn't it?
00:01:38Uh-huh. Great idea, this kangaroo court.
00:01:41The sponsor, first time he's heard the show, probably wants to congratulate me.
00:01:46Sorry, Mr. Jamieson. It sounded like you said, get it off the air.
00:01:51A lot of noise in here. Hang on a minute, will you?
00:01:54Any more commotion, I'll have the court cleared.
00:01:57Whom did you say was asleep, Mr. District Attorney?
00:01:59The defense counsel, Your Honor.
00:02:06Go ahead, Mr. Jamieson. That's what I thought you said, get it off the air.
00:02:14Get it off the air? But, Mr. Jamieson...
00:02:18Your program is an outrage to the legal profession.
00:02:21Ridiculing lawyers, making them out in income poops and charlatans.
00:02:25What's wrong with that?
00:02:26Do you realize that I'm not only the head of Ormsby Jamieson Products,
00:02:29but an attorney and an officer of the Counselor's Club as well?
00:02:33But your advertising agency okayed it. Mr. Button himself...
00:02:36Button? If I hadn't been out of the country, he'd never okayed it.
00:02:39But, Mr. Jamieson, I gave up all my other shows to devote all my time to this one.
00:02:44You can't just take it off the air like that.
00:02:47Oh, can't I? Well, you'd better have a new show ready next week.
00:02:50Or I'll find one myself. I'm taking the plane for Hollywood tonight.
00:02:54Without Button.
00:02:57Mr. Jam...
00:03:01Great show, Johnny. Finished right on the nose.
00:03:02You lucky guy, you.
00:03:03Miss Sullivan speaking.
00:03:11Speaking, Miss Sullivan.
00:03:14Speaking, Miss Sullivan.
00:03:18Here, boy.
00:03:21Call the phone.
00:03:29Miss Sullivan speaking.
00:03:31Long distance? Put them on.
00:03:33Corrie Sullivan's got more on the ball than any writer in radio.
00:03:36She'll get me a show.
00:03:38After the way you yelled at her for going to Las Vegas for a rest,
00:03:41you'd better write her a letter.
00:03:49Okay, okay. Oh, that's fine. That's fine. That's great. That's great.
00:03:52The Vagabonds again. I thought I told you guys to stay out of here.
00:03:54Oh, Mr. Goodell, stop ranking us with the Ricky Tickson.
00:03:56We know there's a place for us.
00:03:58You know, if I keep on throwing you guys out like this,
00:04:00I'll have to put in swinging doors.
00:04:02Now, get out of here! Come on! And don't come back!
00:04:04I told you that once before.
00:04:05All right, all right, all right, all right.
00:04:11Yes, Miss Corrie Sullivan. That's right.
00:04:14I bet she'll thank you for disturbing her peace.
00:04:18Corrie? Hello, darling. This is Johnny.
00:04:22Your Johnny.
00:04:23My Johnny.
00:04:25You know, whenever your voice has that light in your eyes,
00:04:27I know something's brewing. What's up?
00:04:29Now, honey, is that a way to talk?
00:04:31I just called because I miss you.
00:04:34Do you love me?
00:04:35You know I do.
00:04:36The sun is doing wonders for me.
00:04:38I'm beginning to sparkle almost as much as your diamond.
00:04:42That's what I want to hear.
00:04:44Wait a minute, dollface.
00:04:45This sounds like a fast and feverish buildup.
00:04:48Come on, get to the point.
00:04:50There is no point. I just called to hear your sweet voice.
00:04:53Oh, as a matter of fact, there is something you ought to know.
00:04:56Jameson canceled the Humbug show and...
00:04:58Oh, so that's it.
00:05:00But, honey, this is on a level. You've got to come back.
00:05:02You're my only hope of getting a new show in time.
00:05:05If you're really on the level,
00:05:06why don't you hop on a plane and come up here?
00:05:08I might be persuaded.
00:05:11There's going to be a full moon tonight.
00:05:13But, Corrie, Jameson will be here today.
00:05:15Well, give him my love, dollface, and try to think of something.
00:05:19I'm not exactly in a thinking mood.
00:05:22Bye.
00:05:23Corrie, listen to me.
00:05:24Hello, Corrie.
00:05:30Surprise, surprise. Guess who?
00:05:33I don't know, but it's not Bing Crosby.
00:05:35Anybody with one ear can tell that.
00:05:37Scintillating, my dear. Your dialogue is positively scintillating.
00:05:40Both yours.
00:05:42Tell me, what brings you here, Leroy?
00:05:44Isn't this place a bit rich for your blood?
00:05:48Whimsical little gal.
00:05:50Relax while I change. Meet you, Leroy.
00:05:52Okay.
00:06:00Say, by the way, how are you and Johnny getting along lately?
00:06:07Still at Leroy.
00:06:08There's something steaming under those pretty curls.
00:06:11Frankly, I came down here just to be near you.
00:06:13Oh, where have I heard that before?
00:06:15Oh, I don't know about that,
00:06:16but I do know something you haven't heard before.
00:06:19Now, this is strictly entrenue.
00:06:20Oh, strictly.
00:06:21Well, Lou Hurley just phoned me
00:06:23that Jameson cancelled the humbug contract.
00:06:25Given Johnny one week to get a new radio show together.
00:06:29He can do it.
00:06:31I think.
00:06:32Not without you, he can't.
00:06:34Why don't you think of your career?
00:06:36Team up with me.
00:06:37Write a radio show starring me and my golden saxophone.
00:06:40I'll produce it.
00:06:41Why, we'll sell it to Jameson before Johnny even gets started.
00:06:44If you think for a minute...
00:06:45Now, just a moment.
00:06:46Don't make any hasty decisions.
00:06:48That only shows lack of good judgment.
00:06:51Why don't you ride back to Hollywood in the car with me
00:06:53and we can talk it over on the way?
00:07:03How soon do we start?
00:07:04Just as soon as you can get out of those scanties.
00:07:06Don't you think I'd better put on some clothes first?
00:07:08They might stop us in Pomona.
00:07:15Well, I'll see you later.
00:07:16See you later.
00:07:18Well, you certainly have convinced me.
00:07:21You mean about us being partners?
00:07:22No, that I should have taken a train.
00:07:38You folks in trouble?
00:07:39Yes, we are.
00:07:40Where can we get a mechanic?
00:07:41Just two miles ahead.
00:07:42I'll get him.
00:07:43I'll get him.
00:07:44I'll get him.
00:07:45I'll get him.
00:07:46I'll get him.
00:07:47He's got a cap head and clear water.
00:07:49Would you drive us in?
00:07:50Well, what are people for if they don't help each other?
00:07:52Drive me in.
00:07:53Come on.
00:08:01Luke will fix you up.
00:08:03Sakes of life!
00:08:05I forgot.
00:08:06Luke wouldn't be over in the garage now.
00:08:08He'd be on Pinky's radio program.
00:08:11He's my grandson.
00:08:13You're mechanic?
00:08:14No, Pinky.
00:08:16It's Saturday, you know.
00:08:17Everybody in Clearwater's on Pinky's radio show Saturday.
00:08:20Everybody?
00:08:21Oh, nearly.
00:08:23Every hour on the hour, I fall in love with you.
00:08:47Every minute on the minute, another dream comes true.
00:08:59Every second that you're near me, the thrill is still the same
00:09:11As the first time I kissed you before I knew your name.
00:09:24We don't have to be together for me to kill your time.
00:09:36Just the thought of you can make me want you so much.
00:09:49Every second, every minute, you're in my heart and then
00:10:01Every hour on the hour, I fall in love again.
00:10:27That was mighty good, Luke.
00:10:29Well, thank you, Pinky.
00:10:30Tell us, Luke, around Clearwater, you're considered quite a hand with a gal, aren't you?
00:10:36Well, shucks, Pinky, I do all right, I guess.
00:10:40You know what they did to your forefathers when they got a bit too romantic?
00:10:43Can't say as I do.
00:10:44Show them, boys.
00:10:48They're putting Luke in one of those old-fashioned Puritan stocks, you know,
00:10:51where you put your hands through the holes and you put your feet through the holes and they lock you up.
00:10:57Now that we're making you nice and comfortable, Luke,
00:10:59how would you like to have a little honey to keep you company?
00:11:02Well, all right, I guess.
00:11:04Well, all you have to do is answer this question.
00:11:09If you don't get it right, we take some of your clothes off.
00:11:12I mean, like your shoes and your socks.
00:11:14But don't worry.
00:11:15Just because people are funny is different.
00:11:17Even if you lose, you get the honey.
00:11:19Now, here's your question.
00:11:20How far away can you see a candle at night?
00:11:2310 feet?
00:11:2430 feet?
00:11:25200 feet?
00:11:28Well, I could see one at 200 feet.
00:11:30Are you sure, Luke?
00:11:31Sure.
00:11:32No, I didn't say the candle was lit.
00:11:34Off with the shoes and socks, Mr. Tittenseagull.
00:11:42Too bad, Luke.
00:11:42You should have known the answer to that one.
00:11:43You lost the quiz game.
00:11:45Now do I get the honey?
00:11:46Absolutely.
00:11:48Jerry, bring on the honey.
00:11:58Folks, we really are going to give Luke the honey.
00:12:01All over the soles of his feet.
00:12:03Smear it on thick, Jerry.
00:12:06Luke didn't think he was going to get that kind of honey.
00:12:12Just a minute, Vicki.
00:12:14How are we going to get that honey off Luke's feet?
00:12:17People are funny takes care of everything.
00:12:19Lem, bring in the honey remover.
00:12:22Hey.
00:12:24Folks, I wish you could see the nice, friendly bear they just
00:12:26brought out here in the center of the state.
00:12:29Her name is Rosie, and she loves honey.
00:12:31Look at Rosie flicking her tongue out.
00:12:35Luke, we're going to let the bear eat the honey.
00:12:37And if you can hold him from laughing, you win the prize.
00:12:40I sure can try.
00:12:42All right, ready?
00:12:44Let her lick the honey.
00:12:45Wait a minute, wait a minute, please.
00:12:47Excuse me, folks.
00:12:49These people are in trouble, Pinky.
00:12:50They need Luke to fix their car.
00:12:52Oh, I'm having fun.
00:12:54I don't want to fix nobody's car now.
00:12:56Why, Luke.
00:12:57Oh, my goodness, I forgot.
00:12:59I want everybody to meet Miss Sullivan and Mr. Brinker.
00:13:05This is my grandson, Pinky Wilson.
00:13:09How do you do, Miss Sullivan?
00:13:10Hello, Pinky.
00:13:11How do you do, Mr. Brinker?
00:13:13Say, aren't you Leroy Brinker?
00:13:15Oh, yes, that's right.
00:13:17Oh, folks, we're really honored.
00:13:19One of the big people of radio just walked into our studio.
00:13:22You all remember Leroy Brinker?
00:13:24And his golden saxophone.
00:13:26Oh, and his golden saxophone.
00:13:30Thank you very much, folks.
00:13:31It's very gratifying to know you haven't forgotten me.
00:13:34I just want to say bonjour, folks.
00:13:37That's French.
00:13:38Bonjour.
00:13:40I just want to say bonjour, folks.
00:13:43That's French.
00:13:44As a matter of fact, I speak French rather well.
00:13:47It was just last night I went into a restaurant
00:13:49and I ordered the entire meal in French.
00:13:52And was the waiter surprised?
00:13:54It was a Chinese restaurant.
00:14:10And then on the way home...
00:14:12Uh, do you mind?
00:14:14Oh, no, I'm sorry.
00:14:15And on the way home on the bus...
00:14:17Oh, speaking of buses,
00:14:18have you folks ridden on any buses recently?
00:14:20Boy, are they crowded.
00:14:22I rode on a bus yesterday that was so crowded
00:14:24even some of the men were standing.
00:14:26Marvelous.
00:14:28I would just like to tell one more joke
00:14:30this time if I may.
00:14:32It seems there was a man and his wife
00:14:34who were sitting in the living room
00:14:35and the phone kept ringing and ringing.
00:14:37And he'd answer it each time.
00:14:39He'd say, oh, I'm sorry.
00:14:41I'm sorry.
00:14:42I'm sorry.
00:14:43I'm sorry.
00:14:44I'm sorry.
00:14:45I'm sorry.
00:14:46I'm sorry.
00:14:47I'm sorry.
00:14:48I'm sorry.
00:14:49I'm sorry.
00:14:50I'm sorry.
00:14:51I'm sorry.
00:14:52I'm sorry.
00:14:53I'm sorry.
00:14:54I'm sorry.
00:14:55He'd say, oh, I'm sorry.
00:14:56You've got the wrong number.
00:15:00Wait till I finish the joke.
00:15:07And this happened four or five times, you see.
00:15:10And finally the wife said,
00:15:11honey, what seems to be the trouble?
00:15:13The husband said, I don't know.
00:15:15He says some darn fool must think
00:15:16this is the weather bureau.
00:15:18He keeps calling up asking if the coast is clear.
00:15:25Thank you!
00:15:51I'll hurry them up so you can get your coffee.
00:15:54Get your coffee.
00:15:55Thank you, Grandma.
00:15:56Take Luke out of the socks.
00:15:58Boy, they really loved me out there.
00:16:00They laughed at every line.
00:16:02Grandma's boy certainly does know people.
00:16:04Some of them are awfully funny.
00:16:06Yeah.
00:16:07I just went out and fractured that audience.
00:16:10What's all this?
00:16:12Fan mail for Pinky Dinky's program.
00:16:14Boy, there's enough of it here.
00:16:15He's really popular, isn't he?
00:16:17Mm-hmm.
00:16:19People are funny.
00:16:22Just ordinary people playing parlor games.
00:16:25Audience participation.
00:16:29A show with real human interest.
00:16:32Heart.
00:16:32You amaze me, Leroy.
00:16:34I really didn't think you'd catch on so quickly.
00:16:36What an idea for a radio show starring me.
00:16:39Why, with you writing it, Jameson will grab it.
00:16:42I think Jameson will go for it.
00:16:45You mean that it's all set?
00:16:46We're partners?
00:16:48Angel, you've made the right decision.
00:16:50Now, as soon as the show is over,
00:16:51I'll make Pinky an offer.
00:16:53Oh, look, Leroy.
00:16:54Let me do the dickering, will you?
00:16:55Well, supposing I should get a brilliant idea.
00:16:58Let's take a chance on that, shall we?
00:17:02Well, don't forget, it'll all come next week.
00:17:04We have some very funny sunsurreins for it.
00:17:06OK, Wilson, can I speak to you, please?
00:17:07Yes.
00:17:08Goodbye.
00:17:09Thank you very much.
00:17:10Mr. Wilson, I want to tell you how.
00:17:12Jameson, your radio show, the idea, I mean.
00:17:14Coast to coast, sponsored by a big name product.
00:17:17You mean cell people are funny?
00:17:19Yeah.
00:17:19Oh, no, I couldn't do that.
00:17:21Come, come, Mr. Wilson.
00:17:22Let's be sensible about this.
00:17:24Mr. Brinker, you really got the wrong idea about this.
00:17:27You see, it isn't my show.
00:17:29It belongs to Mr. Griffin there, and Mr. Parkes,
00:17:33and the Tilliam sisters, and Mr. Pippin
00:17:36Siegel more than anyone else.
00:17:38You see, I work at Mr. Pippin Siegel's drugstore.
00:17:40I got the idea for the whole show in his time.
00:17:42But if you can sell the program, Pinky.
00:17:45This is the only entertainment a lot of people in Clearwater
00:17:47have.
00:17:48We haven't even got a church large enough for socials,
00:17:51or to hold meetings for the Clearwater Boys Club.
00:17:53I'm the leader.
00:17:54I know, but if you should sell the program.
00:17:56I think you're perfectly right, Mr. Wilson.
00:17:59This show does belong to the people.
00:18:01How can you say that?
00:18:02Will you all excuse us, please, for just a moment?
00:18:05Thank you, Leroy.
00:18:08She understands.
00:18:10I think you're making a mistake, Pinky.
00:18:13What kind of a partner are you, anyway?
00:18:15Here, shove this under your coat quickly.
00:18:19What's this all about?
00:18:20It's a complete record of the show.
00:18:21It has everything you need on it.
00:18:22I don't get it.
00:18:24Look, take it with you.
00:18:25Have the car fixed.
00:18:27Leave this Pinky to me.
00:18:28I'll handle him.
00:18:29Oh, strategy, eh?
00:18:30Uh-huh.
00:18:34Running fine now, Luke.
00:18:35You sure did us well, John.
00:18:39Be gentle with her now.
00:18:40She's in great pain.
00:18:42Cory!
00:18:44Come on, boy.
00:18:45Easy now. Be careful.
00:18:46Oh, wait a minute, boys.
00:18:47What happened?
00:18:48She tripped over my shoelace.
00:18:49It was lucky I was standing close enough to catch her.
00:18:51She'd have sprained both her ankles.
00:18:54She can't drive home with you tonight.
00:18:56It'll be too painful.
00:18:58We're going to take her home with us.
00:18:59Will you help her in the car while I have to get something?
00:19:01Thank you, folks.
00:19:02Would you put those in the car, please?
00:19:05Come on, fellas.
00:19:06Let's return these coats.
00:19:08What's the idea of the big act?
00:19:10Somebody has to stay here to get Pinky to sell his program.
00:19:13I think I'm a bit more appealing than you.
00:19:15There's no argument there, I might bet.
00:19:16Now, look, take the record back to your office
00:19:18and don't talk to anybody.
00:19:20Just sit tight till you hear from me.
00:19:24Fine pack of writers.
00:19:26What I want is a show with the Sullivan touch.
00:19:28Hello?
00:19:32Yes.
00:19:35The Sullivan touch.
00:19:37OK, fellas, that's all.
00:19:38See you later.
00:19:44Hello?
00:19:45Corrie, hello, darling.
00:19:47Where the blazes are you?
00:19:48I'm in Clearwater, Nevada.
00:19:50Clearwater?
00:19:51When are you coming back?
00:19:52Now, don't talk, just listen.
00:19:54I've got a show practically wrapped up for you,
00:19:56fresh as a daisy, different.
00:19:58I've sent a recording of it into town with Leroy Brinker.
00:20:02Leroy?
00:20:03What are you doing with that grade A heel?
00:20:05Double crossing me?
00:20:07That's what Leroy thinks.
00:20:08But sweetheart, I'm really saving
00:20:10that precious neck of yours.
00:20:13Now, all you have to do is go to Leroy's office
00:20:16and steal the recording.
00:20:18Steal it?
00:20:19That's right.
00:20:20Then listen to it.
00:20:21You'll get the idea of the whole show.
00:20:23As soon as I get this hick author signed up, I'll be in.
00:20:27Yeah, but Corrie, I can't just go and steal a record.
00:20:30What do you think I am?
00:20:32I know what you are, precious.
00:20:34That's why I know you can steal it.
00:20:37Hello, wimpy.
00:20:38How are you?
00:20:39And take care of yourself, Mama.
00:20:41And watch your step, and everything
00:20:43will be all right, Mama.
00:20:45Goodbye, Mama.
00:20:47Mama?
00:20:51Hi.
00:20:52Pinky, I thought you'd gone to bed.
00:20:54I wasn't sleepy.
00:20:56Oh, I hope it wasn't on my account.
00:20:58Well, in a way it was.
00:21:00I've been thinking about what you said at dinner,
00:21:03about my selling People Are Funny.
00:21:06I've given it a lot of thought.
00:21:08Oh, well, Pinky, you mustn't let anything
00:21:10I said sway you.
00:21:12I just told you to follow your heart.
00:21:15That's just it.
00:21:16I believe in that.
00:21:18Now that you've changed my viewpoint, I'm-
00:21:20Yes, Pinky.
00:21:22Oh, your foot!
00:21:23Oh, yes.
00:21:24Oh, thank you.
00:21:27You were saying, Pinky?
00:21:28Well, I've just about decided that I ought to-
00:21:33Yes, Pinky.
00:21:35The Castellans.
00:21:37The Castel-whos?
00:21:38They're my neighbors.
00:21:39They're wonderful people.
00:21:40Oh, you were saying about the show, Pinky.
00:21:42They're having a celebration.
00:21:43Their son Jose is back on his furlough.
00:21:47Come on over with me.
00:21:49Do you think you can make it?
00:21:51Oh, I don't need these.
00:21:53You just put your arm around me and help me.
00:22:09Oh, yes.
00:22:10Oh, yes.
00:22:11Oh, yes.
00:22:12Oh, yes.
00:22:13Oh, yes.
00:22:14Oh, yes.
00:22:15Oh, yes.
00:22:16Oh, yes.
00:22:17Oh, yes.
00:22:18Oh, yes.
00:22:19Oh, yes.
00:22:20Oh, yes.
00:22:21Oh, yes.
00:22:22Oh, yes.
00:22:23Oh, yes.
00:22:24Oh, yes.
00:22:25Oh, yes.
00:22:26Oh, yes.
00:22:27Oh, yes.
00:22:28Oh, yes.
00:22:29Oh, yes.
00:22:30Oh, yes.
00:22:31Oh, yes.
00:22:32Oh, yes.
00:22:33Oh, yes.
00:22:34Oh, yes.
00:22:35Oh, yes.
00:22:36Oh, yes.
00:22:37Oh, yes.
00:22:38Oh, yes.
00:22:39Oh, yes.
00:22:40Oh, yes.
00:22:41Oh, yes.
00:22:42Oh, yes.
00:22:43Oh, yes.
00:22:44Oh, yes.
00:22:45Oh, yes.
00:22:46Oh, yes.
00:22:47Oh, yes.
00:22:48Oh, yes.
00:22:49Oh, yes.
00:22:50Oh, yes.
00:22:51Oh, yes.
00:22:52Oh, yes.
00:22:53Oh, yes.
00:22:54Oh, yes.
00:22:55Oh, yes.
00:22:56Oh, yes.
00:22:57Oh, yes.
00:22:58Oh, yes.
00:22:59Oh, yes.
00:23:00Oh, yes.
00:23:01Oh, yes.
00:23:02Oh, yes.
00:23:03Oh, yes.
00:23:04Oh, yes.
00:23:05Oh, yes.
00:23:06Oh, yes.
00:23:07Oh, yes.
00:23:08Oh, yes.
00:23:09Oh, yes.
00:23:10Oh, yes.
00:23:11Oh, yes.
00:23:12Oh, yes.
00:23:13Oh, yes.
00:23:14Oh, yes.
00:23:15Oh, yes.
00:23:16Oh, yes.
00:23:17Oh, yes.
00:23:18Oh, yes.
00:23:19Oh, yes.
00:23:20Oh, yes.
00:23:21Oh, yes.
00:23:22Oh, yes.
00:23:23Oh, yes.
00:23:24Oh, yes.
00:23:25Oh, yes.
00:23:26Oh, yes.
00:23:27Oh, yes.
00:23:28Oh, yes.
00:23:29Oh, yes.
00:23:30Oh, yes.
00:23:31Oh, yes.
00:23:32Oh, yes.
00:23:33Oh, yes.
00:23:34Oh, yes.
00:23:35Oh, yes.
00:23:36Oh, yes.
00:23:37Oh, yes.
00:23:38Oh, yes.
00:23:39Oh, yes.
00:23:40Oh, yes.
00:23:41Oh, yes.
00:23:42Oh, yes.
00:23:43Oh, yes.
00:23:44Oh, yes.
00:23:45Oh, yes.
00:23:46Oh, yes.
00:23:47Oh, yes.
00:23:48Oh, yes.
00:23:49Oh, yes.
00:23:50Oh, yes.
00:23:51Oh, yes.
00:23:52Oh, yes.
00:23:53Oh, yes.
00:23:54Oh, yes.
00:23:55Oh, yes.
00:23:56Oh, yes.
00:23:57Oh, yes.
00:23:58Oh, yes.
00:23:59Oh, yes.
00:24:00Oh, yes.
00:24:01Oh, yes.
00:24:02Oh, yes.
00:24:03Oh, yes.
00:24:04Oh, yes.
00:24:05Oh, yes.
00:24:06Oh, yes.
00:24:07Oh, yes.
00:24:08Oh, yes.
00:24:09Oh, yes.
00:24:10Oh, yes.
00:24:11Oh, yes.
00:24:12Oh, yes.
00:24:13Oh, yes.
00:24:14Oh, yes.
00:24:15Oh, yes.
00:24:16Oh, yes.
00:24:17Oh, yes.
00:24:18Oh, yes.
00:24:19Oh, yes.
00:24:20Oh, yes.
00:24:21Oh, yes.
00:24:22Oh, yes.
00:24:23Oh, yes.
00:24:24Oh, yes.
00:24:25Oh, yes.
00:24:26Oh, yes.
00:24:27Oh, yes.
00:24:28Oh, yes.
00:24:29Oh, yes.
00:24:30Oh, yes.
00:24:31Oh, yes.
00:24:32Oh, yes.
00:24:33Oh, yes.
00:24:34Oh, yes.
00:24:35Oh, yes.
00:24:36Oh, yes.
00:24:37Oh, yes.
00:24:38Oh, yes.
00:24:39Oh, yes.
00:24:40Oh, yes.
00:24:41Oh, yes.
00:24:42Oh, yes.
00:24:43Oh, yes.
00:24:44Oh, yes.
00:24:45Oh, yes.
00:24:46Oh, yes.
00:24:47Oh, yes.
00:24:48Oh, yes.
00:24:49Oh, yes.
00:24:50Oh, yes.
00:24:51Oh, yes.
00:24:52Oh, yes.
00:24:53Oh, yes.
00:24:54Oh, yes.
00:24:55Oh, yes.
00:24:56Oh, yes.
00:24:57Oh, yes.
00:24:58Oh, yes.
00:24:59Oh, yes.
00:25:00Oh, yes.
00:25:01Oh, yes.
00:25:02Oh, yes.
00:25:03Oh, yes.
00:25:04Oh, yes.
00:25:05Oh, yes.
00:25:06Oh, yes.
00:25:07Oh, yes.
00:25:08Oh, yes.
00:25:09Oh, yes.
00:25:10Oh, yes.
00:25:11Oh, yes.
00:25:12Oh, yes.
00:25:13Oh, yes.
00:25:14Oh, yes.
00:25:15Oh, yes.
00:25:16Oh, yes.
00:25:17Oh, yes.
00:25:18Oh, yes.
00:25:19Oh, yes.
00:25:20Oh, yes.
00:25:21Oh, yes.
00:25:22Oh, yes.
00:25:23Oh, yes.
00:25:24Oh, yes.
00:25:25Oh, yes.
00:25:26Oh, yes.
00:25:27Oh, yes.
00:25:28Oh, yes.
00:25:29Oh, yes.
00:25:30Oh, yes.
00:25:31Oh, yes.
00:25:32Oh, yes.
00:25:33Oh, yes.
00:25:34Oh, yes.
00:25:35Oh, yes.
00:25:36Oh, yes.
00:25:37Oh, yes.
00:25:38Oh, yes.
00:25:39Oh, yes.
00:25:40Oh, yes.
00:25:41Oh, yes.
00:25:42Oh, yes.
00:25:43Oh, yes.
00:25:44Oh, yes.
00:25:45Oh, yes.
00:25:46Oh, yes.
00:25:47Oh, yes.
00:25:48Oh, yes.
00:25:49Oh, yes.
00:25:50Oh, yes.
00:25:51Oh, yes.
00:25:52Oh, yes.
00:25:53Oh, yes.
00:25:54Oh, yes.
00:25:55Oh, yes.
00:25:56Oh, yes.
00:25:57Oh, yes.
00:25:58Oh, yes.
00:25:59Oh, yes.
00:26:00Oh, yes.
00:26:01Oh, yes.
00:26:02Oh, yes.
00:26:03Oh, yes.
00:26:04Oh, yes.
00:26:05Oh, yes.
00:26:06Oh, yes.
00:26:07Oh, yes.
00:26:08Oh, yes.
00:26:09Oh, yes.
00:26:10Oh, yes.
00:26:11Oh, yes.
00:26:12Oh, yes.
00:26:13Oh, yes.
00:26:14Oh, yes.
00:26:15Oh, yes.
00:26:16Oh, yes.
00:26:17Oh, yes.
00:26:18Oh, yes.
00:26:19Oh, yes.
00:26:20Oh, yes.
00:26:21Oh, yes.
00:26:22Oh, yes.
00:26:23Oh, yes.
00:26:24Oh, yes.
00:26:25Oh, yes.
00:26:26Oh, yes.
00:26:27Oh, yes.
00:26:28Oh, yes.
00:26:29Oh, yes.
00:26:30Oh, yes.
00:26:31Oh, yes.
00:26:32Oh, yes.
00:26:33Oh, yes.
00:26:34Oh, yes.
00:26:35Oh, yes.
00:26:36Oh, yes.
00:26:37Oh, yes.
00:26:38Oh, yes.
00:26:39Oh, yes.
00:26:40Oh, yes.
00:26:41Oh, yes.
00:26:42Oh, yes.
00:26:43Oh, yes.
00:26:44Oh, yes.
00:26:45Oh, yes.
00:26:46Oh, yes.
00:26:47Oh, yes.
00:26:48Oh, yes.
00:26:49Oh, yes.
00:26:50Oh, yes.
00:26:51Oh, yes.
00:26:52Oh, yes.
00:26:53Oh, yes.
00:26:54Oh, yes.
00:26:55Oh, yes.
00:26:56Oh, yes.
00:26:57Oh, yes.
00:26:58Oh, yes.
00:26:59Oh, yes.
00:27:00Oh!
00:27:01Pinky!
00:27:02Oh!
00:27:03Ouch!
00:27:07You know what?
00:27:08I'm gonna follow my heart.
00:27:10I'm going to Hollywood with you.
00:27:25Good morning, Mrs. McCarthy.
00:27:29I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going
00:27:59to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for school, and I'm going to be late for
00:28:29school, and I'm going to be late for school.
00:28:59I'm going to be late for school.
00:29:29I'm going to be late for school.
00:29:59I'm going to be late for school.
00:30:29I'm going to be late for school.
00:30:59I'm going to be late for school.
00:31:29I'm going to be late for school.
00:31:44I'm going to be late for school.
00:31:54fellow citizens, and distinguished guests.
00:31:59You all know I'm unaccustomed to public squeaking,
00:32:02I mean speaking, but on this occasion,
00:32:06I cannot resist slaying a few birds, a few words.
00:32:10For today, Pinky Wilson is leaving for Hollywood.
00:32:15Let us all give three rousing beers
00:32:18for stinky Pinky Wilson.
00:32:21Hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray!
00:32:26Well, I don't know what to say,
00:32:30but I want to thank you all for this wonderful send-off.
00:32:33You know, just because I'm going to Hollywood,
00:32:36I want you to know that the radio program
00:32:39still belongs to all of you.
00:32:40Hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray!
00:32:43And with all the money I'll be getting,
00:32:46it's only fair that you share it with me.
00:32:48Hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray!
00:32:49Mrs. Eagle, I want you to start putting
00:32:51those backache pills that you invented
00:32:53on the market right away.
00:32:55And Jerry.
00:32:56Yes, Pinky?
00:32:57You and the rest of the boys start planning
00:32:58that clubhouse with the big fireplace.
00:33:00Hooray!
00:33:03Reverend Allen, I want you to start
00:33:05alterations on the church.
00:33:07Go right ahead with it.
00:33:07Put all new pews in, padded ones.
00:33:10Bless you, Pinky.
00:33:11All aboard.
00:33:13Goodbye, Grandma.
00:33:14Goodbye, Pinky.
00:33:14I'm gonna miss you.
00:33:15Well, I'll miss you too, Pinky.
00:33:17But I want you to be a big success.
00:33:19Goodbye.
00:33:20Goodbye.
00:33:21Goodbye.
00:33:22Goodbye.
00:33:22Goodbye.
00:33:23Goodbye.
00:33:24Goodbye.
00:33:25Goodbye.
00:33:27You're listening to the Dixie Shindig.
00:33:30And as the moonlight shimmers down on the old plantation,
00:33:33we hear the voices of the happy folks
00:33:35from the cabin in the back door.
00:33:37All right, stop the record.
00:33:38We'll be ready to audition in a minute.
00:33:43Dixie Shindig, a southerner's grits and gravy.
00:33:46Best show I ever thought of, Mr. Jamieson.
00:33:47There's no other show on the air like it.
00:33:49Now, you see, the whole idea-
00:33:50Yes, I know, Goodell.
00:33:51Dripping with moonlight magnolias.
00:33:52That's right.
00:33:53Sounds pretty good.
00:33:54Let's hear some more of it.
00:33:55All right, sir.
00:33:56All right, hurry along, please.
00:33:57Next act.
00:34:01That's us.
00:34:02Yeah, that's us.
00:34:03Come on, boys.
00:34:04That's us.
00:34:05Yeah, now.
00:34:06Say, wait a minute.
00:34:07I didn't call you fellas, did I?
00:34:09Yes, sir.
00:34:10Your office called us all.
00:34:11We're the Dixie Hobos from Danville.
00:34:13Sweet.
00:34:15Well, okay, go ahead.
00:34:19Yes, sir, boy.
00:34:24Yes, sir, man.
00:34:34Angelina.
00:34:35That's my baby.
00:34:37Angelina.
00:34:38Don't mean maybe.
00:34:39Angelina.
00:34:41Angelina.
00:34:42Shoot the beater to me, Angelina.
00:34:52Oh, I eat spaghetti twice just because she is so nice.
00:34:56Angelina.
00:34:59Angelina.
00:35:01The waitress at the pizzeria.
00:35:06I keep zooping minestrone just to be with her alone.
00:35:09Angelina.
00:35:12Angelina.
00:35:15The waitress at the pizzeria.
00:35:18Ti voglio bene.
00:35:20Sweet macaroni.
00:35:22Angelina, I adore you.
00:35:25Ti voglio bene.
00:35:28Ravioli.
00:35:29Angelina, I adore you.
00:35:32E un passione.
00:35:35That will set my heart on fire.
00:35:39But Angelina.
00:35:42Never listens to my song.
00:35:59Now listen here, honey.
00:36:02What's the idea of bringing me the wrong order?
00:36:06You know I ordered barbecue spaghetti.
00:36:12Now listen here, honey.
00:36:14What's your story, morning glory,
00:36:16giving me out with that chicken concitore?
00:36:21What do you think, Moo?
00:36:23I want the same order, honey.
00:36:25The same order, baby.
00:36:27With lots of gravy on it.
00:36:28Spaghetti.
00:36:30Same order you gave him.
00:36:31With lots of gravy, baby.
00:36:33Lots of gravy.
00:36:34Same order, honey.
00:36:35♫ I'll be dining at the Astor
00:36:37♫ With the waitress from the pizzeria
00:36:41♫ Mia
00:36:43♫ Angelina
00:36:45♫ Angelina
00:36:46♫ Scalopini
00:36:50♫ Where's the chicken
00:36:51♫ Gacciatore
00:36:53♫ Where's the chicken
00:36:55♫ Gacciatore
00:36:56♫ Angelina
00:36:58♫ Baggiarina
00:37:00♫ Salvatini
00:37:02♫ Scaloppini
00:37:03♫ Angelina
00:37:04♫ Baggiarina
00:37:06♫ Mia
00:37:11Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba...
00:37:30Wow, very funny vagabond.
00:37:33Vagabonds, we is the Dixie Hobos from Dandy.
00:37:36Oh, the Dixie Hobos, huh?
00:37:38What are you doing, Malting?
00:37:42Dixie Hobo's, huh?
00:37:43Uh-huh.
00:37:44Ah, come on.
00:37:45Get out of here.
00:37:46All right.
00:37:47Come on.
00:37:48Hey, you two.
00:37:49Come on.
00:37:50Come on.
00:37:51Get out of here.
00:37:52All right.
00:37:53Beat it.
00:37:54Beat it.
00:37:55Let's open the door.
00:37:56Come on.
00:37:57OK.
00:37:58Let's get out of here.
00:37:59Come on.
00:38:00Cory, baby, darling.
00:38:13Welcome home.
00:38:14What are you trying to do, doll face?
00:38:16Black face?
00:38:17Hey, did you get the record?
00:38:21I sure did.
00:38:22Got Jameson in the booth now.
00:38:23Been auditioning for him.
00:38:24It's in the bag.
00:38:25Oh, good.
00:38:26Come on.
00:38:27Let's go.
00:38:28Oh, hey.
00:38:29Right in the middle of NBC?
00:38:30Oh, NBC can use a little romance.
00:38:31Hey.
00:38:32Time's a-wasting.
00:38:33Take my bag, will you, darling?
00:38:34Hey.
00:38:35Hey.
00:38:36Hey.
00:38:37Hey.
00:38:38Hey.
00:38:39Hey.
00:38:40Hey.
00:38:41Hey.
00:38:42Hey.
00:38:43Hey.
00:38:44Hey.
00:38:45Hey.
00:38:46Hey.
00:38:47Hey.
00:38:48Hey.
00:38:49Hey.
00:38:50Hey.
00:38:51Hey.
00:38:52Hey.
00:38:53Hey.
00:38:54Hey.
00:38:55Hey.
00:38:56Hey.
00:38:58Hey.
00:39:03Mr. Jameson, I'd like you to meet Miss Corrie Sullivan, my writer, the
00:39:06whole Memphis & Radio.
00:39:07That's how I see.
00:39:10How do you do, Miss Sullivan?
00:39:11How do you do?
00:39:12Let's get on with this, if you don't mind.
00:39:13All right.
00:39:14All right.
00:39:19And now we'll go from the deep south to Harlem with Ann Jenkins and her
00:39:22boogie-woogie special.
00:39:23Wait till you hear this gal.
00:39:25She's terrific.
00:39:25Terrific.
00:39:28All right, Miss Jenkins, we're ready for you now.
00:39:52What in the world is this?
00:39:53Ann Jenkins. Great for this show.
00:40:17Ah, you baddie. I had him eating right out of my hand.
00:40:20Where did you get that program?
00:40:21Off that record you told me to steal from the Roy.
00:40:25Show me that record.
00:40:27Okay.
00:40:41Oh, this is fine.
00:40:43What's the matter?
00:40:44Nothing. Except you stole the wrong recording.
00:40:48Stole the wrong...
00:40:52Simple little thing like stealing a record from the Roy.
00:40:55Any moron could do it, but not you, you cretin.
00:40:59Cretin?
00:41:02Smile, smile, smile. You want him to catch you, huh?
00:41:06Well, it's a good thing I brought Pinky along with me.
00:41:08Pinky?
00:41:09The author. He can outline the right show for us.
00:41:11That's wonderful. Where is he?
00:41:13Well, I lost him at Union Station.
00:41:17You lost him?
00:41:18You lost him.
00:41:24Well, now who's a cretin?
00:41:27Smile.
00:41:33I'm not going to take any chances on your Pinky.
00:41:35Jamison sold on this show, and that's the one I'm going to sell him.
00:41:38But the show belongs to the Roy. He's been peddling this Dixie goulash for months.
00:41:41All right, mastermind, what do I do?
00:41:44You sold him, super salesman. Now unsell him.
00:41:48Unsell him? Oh, I can't do that.
00:41:50Oh, yes, you can, dollface. When the Roy gets his account.
00:41:54The Roy, the Roy. Say, where did you get mixed up with that character anyway?
00:41:58He was just trying to sell me a rather attractive bill of goods.
00:42:01If you don't get in there and start pitching, I'm liable to be in the market.
00:42:12Well, all right, I'll try.
00:42:19Sell me a show, then you won't sell it. Sell, unsell.
00:42:22It's just that this show is mediocre. Every other show in the area is just like it.
00:42:25But you said... I know. I just wanted you to see what some other producer might try to palm off on you.
00:42:29But not Johnny Goodell. No, sir. When you see what I've really got lined up for him...
00:42:32What is it?
00:42:35Well, it's a show that, uh... It's a great show.
00:42:38It's perfect to sell. Let's be Jameson.
00:42:40Perfect to sell. Let's be Jameson.
00:42:43Well, it's a show that, uh... It's a great show.
00:42:46It's perfect to sell. Let's be Jameson.
00:42:48Just ordinary people playing parlor games.
00:42:50Yeah, yeah. In a radio station.
00:42:52Oh, it's big. It's got scope. Audience participation.
00:42:56Yes, audience participation.
00:42:58It's all very well and good, but where is the show? When can I see it? You've only three days left.
00:43:01Why, that's plenty of time.
00:43:04Oh, Johnny!
00:43:06Now, if you'll just look at this show, mister, I'm sure you won't want to look at any other show.
00:43:09Well, well, well, Johnny Goodell. Hello, Johnny.
00:43:12What's new? As if I didn't know.
00:43:14Say, too bad to hear about you losing the humbug show.
00:43:16Yes, wasn't it? Now, if you'll...
00:43:18Goodell, please.
00:43:19I'm sorry, Mr. Jameson, but...
00:43:20Jameson?
00:43:21Well, well, how do you do, Mr. Jameson? I'm happy to know you.
00:43:30Well, well, how do you do, Mr. Jameson? I'm happy to know you.
00:43:33Thanks for introducing us, Johnny.
00:43:34Yeah, I know.
00:43:35Welcome to Hollywood, Mr. Jameson.
00:43:36Brinker's the name. Leroy Brinker.
00:43:38And I have a little radio show that you're going to love.
00:43:41Now, Mr. Jameson...
00:43:42Just ordinary people playing parlor games.
00:43:44A show with real human interest.
00:43:46Heart.
00:43:47Audience participation.
00:43:48Why, you'll love it, I'm sure.
00:43:50Oh, you radio people all talk alike.
00:43:52I can't stand any more of this.
00:43:53I'm going back to my hotel.
00:43:55I'll be over to see you, Mr. Jameson.
00:43:57Oh, Johnny, give my regards to Corey, if you should happen to see him.
00:44:02Too bad about Brinker.
00:44:04Sad case.
00:44:05He was a great saxophone player.
00:44:07Oh, great, but...
00:44:09Blew his brains out, you know.
00:44:11Never mind about Brinker.
00:44:12I'll give you 48 hours to produce another show.
00:44:1448 hours, not one second more.
00:44:1648 hours.
00:44:17Yes.
00:44:18Well, let's synchronize our watches, shall we?
00:44:21Right.
00:44:23Roger!
00:44:24Roger?
00:44:32Corey!
00:44:48Now, don't forget, you're going to get us on your radio program.
00:44:50You're going to lock up the deal for us.
00:44:52For the favor you fellows did for me?
00:44:54Here, have another sandwich.
00:44:55My grandma made them.
00:44:56They're good, aren't they?
00:44:57Yeah.
00:44:58Man, you're a ready Joe.
00:44:59Ready for what?
00:45:00When we say ready, we don't mean ready.
00:45:02We mean voota zoota copacetic.
00:45:04Yeah, in other words, ready.
00:45:07Are you ready, ready?
00:45:09Yeah, I'm ready.
00:45:10Voota zoota copacetic.
00:45:11Yes.
00:45:12That's it.
00:45:15This is it, right over here.
00:45:16This is the office?
00:45:17We've been here before.
00:45:18Come on.
00:45:19He's waiting for a fine at last.
00:45:21Pinky Wilson?
00:45:22Can you describe him?
00:45:23No, no, I can't describe him to you,
00:45:25but it's very important that I locate him.
00:45:27Yeah, all right.
00:45:33Didn't I tell you mugs never to come around again?
00:45:35Here, give me this.
00:45:39Are you sure Miss Sullivan works here?
00:45:41Yeah, that's just Johnny.
00:45:42He's always popping off.
00:45:43Go ahead.
00:45:44Don't worry about him.
00:45:45He's all right.
00:45:46Go ahead.
00:45:47Hello?
00:45:48Yeah, that's right.
00:45:52He's angry.
00:45:53Oh, no.
00:45:54He's not mad.
00:45:55Now, remember what you promised us about the job.
00:45:57We'd better get the job.
00:45:58Go ahead.
00:45:59Now, come on, Pinky.
00:46:00No, I'm not.
00:46:01Oh, come on.
00:46:02Oh, you're not back out on us now.
00:46:03I'm going to bounce these guys once and for all.
00:46:11I thought I told you guys to stay out of here.
00:46:13Now, if you come around once more,
00:46:15I'm going to call out the riot squad.
00:46:16Now, get out of here.
00:46:17Pinky.
00:46:18Pinky.
00:46:19Pinky.
00:46:20Well, come on in.
00:46:21Am I glad to see you.
00:46:24Well, well, here.
00:46:25Here, sit down.
00:46:26Sit down.
00:46:27Sit down.
00:46:28Have a cigar.
00:46:29How have you been, huh?
00:46:30Where have you been, Pinky?
00:46:31I've been worried about you.
00:46:32Well, uh, there was a lady at the railroad station.
00:46:35She had a little boy and a little girl
00:46:38and a baby and three suitcases.
00:46:41So I helped her in the bus.
00:46:42And before I know it, the bus started and I was locked in.
00:46:45Yeah, that's fine.
00:46:46Now that you're here, I'm glad to see you.
00:46:48And, uh, when I got back to the depot, you were gone.
00:46:51So I went to every radio station in town
00:46:53and I finally, I met these fellas.
00:46:57And, uh, I told them who I was and they told me who they were
00:47:01and I told them about you and, well, here I am and I'm ready.
00:47:08Zoot root.
00:47:09Root.
00:47:10Yeah.
00:47:11That's great.
00:47:12Now, about the show.
00:47:13The show?
00:47:14Yeah.
00:47:15Well, uh, what about me?
00:47:16Well, dear, uh, Mr. Goodell, this is Mr. Goodell
00:47:19and he's taking Mr. Brinker's place.
00:47:21Oh, yes, you see, you see, Brinker,
00:47:23Brinker had to have his adenoids out.
00:47:25Every year at this time, he has to have them taken out, you see.
00:47:28Oh, that's too bad.
00:47:29Mr. Pippin Segal had his adenoids out.
00:47:31He had a terrible time.
00:47:32One of them fell right in back of his lamp.
00:47:34Yes, that's fine.
00:47:35That's too bad, really.
00:47:36Now, about the program.
00:47:38Please, please listen to them.
00:47:40I promised them and after all they've done for me.
00:47:43I know, later, later.
00:47:44Come on.
00:47:45All right.
00:47:46Now, just a minute.
00:47:48I don't think you're the man to produce my show.
00:47:51If you haven't got time to listen to people,
00:47:53to do my show right now, you're going to have to listen to me.
00:47:56I'm a man.
00:47:57I'm a man.
00:47:58I'm a man.
00:47:59I'm a man.
00:48:00I'm a man.
00:48:01I'm a man.
00:48:02I'm a man.
00:48:03I'm a man.
00:48:04I'm a man.
00:48:05I'm a man.
00:48:06To do my show right, you've got to like people.
00:48:08Isn't that right, Miss Sullivan?
00:48:10Of course, Pinky.
00:48:11Johnny will be delighted to hear your friends.
00:48:14Why, certainly.
00:48:15Johnny has plenty of time, exactly 46 hours.
00:48:18But don't mind me, boys.
00:48:19Go right ahead.
00:48:20Just make my office your home.
00:48:21Go ahead.
00:48:22Take a seat.
00:48:23All right.
00:48:24Let's go.
00:48:25Let's go.
00:48:26Let's go.
00:48:27Let's go.
00:48:28In the beginning of this great, great world,
00:48:31man first found perfect expression in the dance.
00:48:35Now down through the ages have been handed us
00:48:38many phases of Terpsichore.
00:48:40Now we'd like to play for you something
00:48:42of a new trend, beautiful, sweet Terpsichore.
00:48:46Terpsichore?
00:48:47What's that?
00:48:48The dance.
00:48:49Oh.
00:48:50Oh.
00:48:54The old square dance is back again.
00:48:56Clear the barn and coop the hen.
00:48:58Hire the band for five or ten.
00:49:00The old square dance is back again.
00:49:02The old square dance is back to stay.
00:49:04Tie old Dobbin and clear the hay.
00:49:06Hurry up, Zeke.
00:49:07It's time to play.
00:49:08The old square dance is back to stay.
00:49:10Grab your punter, Nelly Brown.
00:49:12Swing her around and around and around.
00:49:14Toss her away like a jitterbug.
00:49:16Then you bring her right to back and you give her a hug.
00:49:18The old square dance is back again.
00:49:20Clear the barn and coop the hen.
00:49:22Hire the band for five or ten.
00:49:24The old square dance is back again.
00:49:28Yahoo!
00:49:30Yahoo!
00:49:32Yahoo!
00:49:36Grab your partners.
00:49:40Come on in, folks.
00:49:41We're having a square dance.
00:49:42Come on.
00:49:45Everybody, come on in.
00:49:46We're having a square dance.
00:49:49Alleman left.
00:49:54Alleman right.
00:49:57Get in seat.
00:49:58Come on in.
00:50:05The old square dance is on the beat.
00:50:09The old square jive will make you scream.
00:50:13The old square dance is on the move.
00:50:17Headcats everywhere approve.
00:50:21Murder brother Willow Reed.
00:50:25A mellow as a cello as you swing your feet.
00:50:27Now you are cooking with heat.
00:50:29The old square dance is on the beat.
00:50:33The old square dance will make you scream.
00:50:37A dozy do, a dozy do.
00:50:39Round a figure eight you go.
00:50:41Keep on spinning just like a top.
00:50:43Don't get dizzy or you're gonna drop.
00:50:45Alleman left around the room.
00:50:47Swing your opposite like a broom.
00:50:49Alleman right to the beat of your drum.
00:50:51Back to your own way.
00:50:53Alleman left.
00:50:55A dozy do, a dozy do.
00:50:59When you swing it, swing it real nice.
00:51:01Alleman left, left, left, left, left, left.
00:51:09The old square dance is back in the barn.
00:51:13The hands higher than five or ten.
00:51:15The old square dance is back again.
00:51:19Yes!
00:51:21Yahoo!
00:51:23Yahoo!
00:51:25Yahoo!
00:51:27La la la.
00:51:29La la la.
00:51:31La la la.
00:51:33La la la.
00:51:35La la la.
00:51:37La la la.
00:51:39La la la.
00:51:41La la la.
00:51:43La la la.
00:51:45La la la.
00:51:47La la la.
00:51:49La la la.
00:51:51La la la.
00:51:53La la la.
00:51:55La la la.
00:51:57La la la.
00:51:59La la la.
00:52:01La la la.
00:52:03La la la.
00:52:05La la la.
00:52:07La la la.
00:52:09La la la.
00:52:11La la la.
00:52:13La la la.
00:52:15La la la.
00:52:17La la la.
00:52:19La la la.
00:52:21La la la.
00:52:23La la la.
00:52:25La la la.
00:52:27La la la.
00:52:29Yes, sir, you can see the show tomorrow afternoon at NBC.
00:52:33Just as it'll go over the air. Full audience.
00:52:35All right. I'll be there.
00:52:37Yes.
00:52:39No, he's playing it now, Brinker. That was Goodell.
00:52:41I'm giving him one last chance.
00:52:43He has a show ready to audition for me tomorrow at three.
00:52:45But I'm sure this is the program you're going to buy.
00:52:47Not now, please.
00:52:49If I don't like Goodell's show, I'll listen to yours.
00:52:51This'll only take a minute.
00:52:53Not now, please.
00:52:55Then you're seeing his show tomorrow?
00:52:57At three.
00:52:59I'll be seeing you, Mr. Jamson.
00:53:01Goodbye.
00:53:07Say, driver, how long does it take to get to NBC?
00:53:09It's exactly three o'clock, and I should be there right now.
00:53:11Just a wee turn to the right and a wee turn to the left,
00:53:15and we'll be there for you know it.
00:53:23Jamison left the hotel a half an hour ago.
00:53:25He'll get here.
00:53:27If he doesn't, we're making an audition record.
00:53:29We'll play it for him.
00:53:31If he gets here by 3.30, though,
00:53:33We'll play it for him.
00:53:35If he gets here by 3.30, though,
00:53:37otherwise, we'll have to be out.
00:53:39People are funny!
00:53:51This is the People are Funny program from Hollywood,
00:53:53and here's the man who'll help you earn your laughs,
00:53:55Art Linkletter!
00:54:01Thank you, folks.
00:54:03Welcome to People are Funny.
00:54:05This is the new show in which you, our studio audience,
00:54:07take part, playing games, doing stunts,
00:54:09and proving to everyone everywhere
00:54:11that people are funny.
00:54:13Pinky, who's the first volunteer
00:54:15chosen by our studio audience?
00:54:17Mr. John Southby from Tulsa, Oklahoma.
00:54:19Mr. Southby, meet your host, Mr. Art Linkletter.
00:54:21How do you do, Mr. Southby?
00:54:23This is important.
00:54:25Have you done much roller skating?
00:54:27I've never done any.
00:54:29Fine, you're just the man we're looking for.
00:54:31Pinky, take him over to the chair.
00:54:33Be comfortable, Mr. Southby.
00:54:35Just sit right down there.
00:54:37Now, boys,
00:54:39snap the roller skates on him.
00:54:41We're gonna fix him up for a wonderful time tonight.
00:54:45As long as you haven't had any experience, Mr. Southby,
00:54:47People are Funny is going to provide
00:54:49some free roller skating instruction for you.
00:54:51Here they are.
00:54:53A red head, a brown head,
00:54:55a blonde, and a brunette.
00:54:57Aren't they lovely?
00:54:59Look at Mr. Southby drift.
00:55:01All right, girls, give him his first lesson.
00:55:03That's it. Up out of the chair. Easy now.
00:55:05Watch it. He's very fragile.
00:55:07And there they go.
00:55:09And now, girls, I think you can leave him on his own.
00:55:19He really landed on his own.
00:55:21There you go.
00:55:23Mr. Southby, we have a nice,
00:55:25big, gooey birthday cake
00:55:27just to help you keep your balance.
00:55:31Now, Mr. Southby,
00:55:33you can really have fun.
00:55:35Away they go with the airplane spin.
00:55:37And now the girls let him go.
00:55:39Here he goes, around and around again
00:55:41in great big spins.
00:55:47I thought he had the bike here for a minute.
00:55:49Here he goes.
00:55:57Take a little fall.
00:56:15I told you he'd be here for you, Norton.
00:56:17Here he is.
00:56:23Cabby!
00:56:25This isn't NBC.
00:56:27You, Cabby, come back here!
00:56:29Blast you killed it, Hyde.
00:56:31And now, folks, the next two volunteers
00:56:33from our studio audience
00:56:35will take part in the final stunt of the program,
00:56:37Can You Be a Pilot?
00:56:39Do you think that you could make the grade
00:56:41as a test pilot, Mr. Tuttle?
00:56:43No.
00:56:45Yes, that's the answer we wanted.
00:56:47Yes, you're going to be
00:56:49a test pilot tonight, Mr. Tuttle.
00:56:51Pinky, take him away
00:56:53and let his blood pressure simmer down.
00:56:55Take him right out.
00:56:57We'll call you back in just a few minutes.
00:56:59There they go.
00:57:03What your husband doesn't know
00:57:05is that he's going to be flying blind
00:57:07and you're going to be
00:57:09the anti-aircraft gunner.
00:57:11How's your aim?
00:57:13Pretty good. You better make it perfect
00:57:15because here's your anti-aircraft gun,
00:57:17a seltzer bottle.
00:57:19Irv, help Mrs. Tuttle
00:57:21up into the anti-aircraft chair. Go right up.
00:57:23That's it. Turn around.
00:57:25Be comfortable and take good aim
00:57:27because every time Mr. Tuttle comes by,
00:57:29you're going to let him have it.
00:57:31Won't that be fun?
00:57:33Oh, murder, what has he done to you?
00:57:35Okay, fix the mic, Irv.
00:57:37Pinky boy,
00:57:39let Mr. Tuttle come in
00:57:41and fix him up to fly blind.
00:57:43You better not go in there just now.
00:57:45I'm late. They're waiting for me.
00:57:47What's this?
00:57:49Okay.
00:57:51Just as we told you.
00:57:53Desist.
00:57:55Unhand me.
00:57:57Take it away, Irv.
00:57:59Take it away.
00:58:07He did it again.
00:58:15Mr. Tuttle,
00:58:17are you happy?
00:58:19Oh, murder.
00:58:25Mr. Tuttle is in the plane.
00:58:27I'm down here.
00:58:29He's the one you're to hit.
00:58:31All right, darling. All right.
00:58:33Slow it down.
00:58:35Pinky, run over there and help Mr. Tuttle out.
00:58:37He wouldn't want to hurt Mr. Tuttle.
00:58:39He's such a nice fellow.
00:58:45You're all right, Mr. Tuttle.
00:58:47You were wonderful.
00:58:49You were wonderful.
00:58:51What happened?
00:58:53You were wonderful yourself.
00:58:55Pinky.
00:58:57Pinky.
00:58:59Mr. Tuttle.
00:59:01You were a wonderful shot, Mrs. Tuttle.
00:59:03Yes.
00:59:05And Mr. Tuttle, you were superb.
00:59:07Wasn't he, Pinky?
00:59:09It's Jameson.
00:59:11Jameson?
00:59:13You're going to get the grand prize of the evening.
00:59:15A set of sterling silver for you.
00:59:17You're being such a good sport.
00:59:23Is that a good sport, you?
00:59:25You're not my husband.
00:59:27You're not.
00:59:29Thomas. Thomas.
00:59:31Mr. Jameson, I'm terribly sorry.
00:59:33This is a great mistake.
00:59:35You call this an audition.
00:59:37I'll sue you for assault and battering.
00:59:39I'll prosecute the case myself.
00:59:41But I can assure you, before I do...
00:59:43Poor Pinky.
00:59:45I suppose I was the one that stuck Jameson
00:59:47in that crazy contraption.
00:59:49Stop blaming Pinky.
00:59:51It wasn't his fault any more than it is yours or mine.
00:59:53Oh, it wasn't your fault either, huh?
00:59:55Who brought this backwards fiddle flap in here anyway?
00:59:57Here.
00:59:59You can't speak to Corrie that way.
01:00:01Oh, sit down.
01:00:05So, when everything's going great,
01:00:07you're a great guy.
01:00:09When everything's all wrong, you're the only one who's right.
01:00:11Oh, now, Corrie.
01:00:13I'm through.
01:00:15I'm sick of being a stooge in the almost-was
01:00:17Mrs. John Goodell for the past eight years.
01:00:19You can take this and keep it.
01:00:21Oh, now, wait a minute.
01:00:23All the material I've worked on so hard
01:00:25to make you the big, important executive
01:00:27you think you are.
01:00:29So you made me what I am today, huh?
01:00:31I had nothing to do with it.
01:00:33All right, go ahead. Here's some more to add to your collection.
01:00:35I've got along
01:00:37without you before, and I will again.
01:00:39Get out of here before I suffocate.
01:00:41I will, and you can keep this.
01:00:43It might help brighten up your old age.
01:00:53Why don't you tell me about him
01:00:55and you and this?
01:00:59Oh, there are a lot of things I should have told you,
01:01:01but they're not important now.
01:01:03Look, the show hasn't got a ghost of a chance.
01:01:05You may as well go back to Clearwater,
01:01:07where you belong.
01:01:09Oh, but I can't go back.
01:01:11Remember the promises I made?
01:01:13The church and the boys' clubhouse?
01:01:17Mr. Pippen Siegel's pills?
01:01:19Oh, Pinky, what have I done?
01:01:21Nothing. You've been real nice to me.
01:01:23Nice?
01:01:25You're supposed to understand people, and you call me nice.
01:01:27Don't you understand?
01:01:29I strung you along.
01:01:31Gave you a lot of double-talk about following your heart.
01:01:33Didn't sprain my ankle, either.
01:01:35I was just faking.
01:01:37Yeah, I knew it all the time.
01:01:39I just liked the way you did it.
01:01:41You did?
01:01:45Well, I don't know how to talk to anybody like you.
01:01:47Don't you understand?
01:01:49I'm a first-class double-crosser.
01:01:51Why don't you get mad? Tell me off.
01:01:53I've got it coming.
01:01:55Well, I think you're fine.
01:01:57Real.
01:01:59Anybody who can admit their mistakes is noble.
01:02:03You really mean that, don't you?
01:02:05Yes, I do.
01:02:07And you've taught me something.
01:02:09I realize now that I've got to go back home
01:02:11and admit my mistakes.
01:02:13Well,
01:02:15well, go.
01:02:17Go on home, then, before I turn to a crybaby.
01:02:23Goodbye, Miss Sullivan.
01:02:25Thanks for everything.
01:02:35Goodbye.
01:02:45Goodbye.
01:02:51How are we going to get that honey
01:02:53off Luke's feet?
01:02:55People are funny. Takes care of everything.
01:02:57If Goodell had only had a show like this for me,
01:02:59he'd save me an awful lot of trouble.
01:03:01Oh, that Goodell.
01:03:03Do you think you can get this in the air by Friday night?
01:03:05Today is Wednesday, you know.
01:03:07Two days.
01:03:09Well, yes, certainly, certainly.
01:03:11Excellent. Let's get on with the contract.
01:03:13You're going to find out, Mr. Jameson,
01:03:15that you're dealing with a man of action.
01:03:17Miss Young, will you bring in
01:03:19the Jameson contracts, please?
01:03:21Yes, sir.
01:03:23You certainly won't go wrong with this radio show.
01:03:25It has everything.
01:03:27Hmm, a megaphone.
01:03:29How well I remember them.
01:03:31Used to have one myself. Yale, you know.
01:03:33Oh, cheerleader?
01:03:35Hardly. Bit of a singer.
01:03:37I had a rather unusual quality.
01:03:39This sort of enhanced it.
01:03:41Do you still sing?
01:03:43Oh, I'm a bit rusty.
01:03:45Don't have the time, except at class reunions.
01:03:47Contracts are ready, Mr. Brinker.
01:03:49Oh, thanks. Just let me have them, please.
01:03:51You know, there are many compositions for mixed voices,
01:03:53but personally, I prefer the Rondelay.
01:03:55Do you like the Rondelay?
01:03:57Uh, Rondelay? Oh, I'm very fond of Rondelays.
01:03:59I have in mind the little French Canadian one,
01:04:01for which I've written some English lyrics.
01:04:03If I had the assistance of a few voices,
01:04:05I could give you the proper presentation of it.
01:04:07Well, I'd be very glad to get them for you.
01:04:09Oh, certainly, certainly.
01:04:11Miss, uh... Young.
01:04:13Indeed you are, and pretty, too. Would you join me?
01:04:17...
01:04:39Alouette, gentle Alouette
01:04:41Alouette, you're a pretty thing
01:04:43How I like your lovely hair
01:04:45How I like your lovely hair, lovely hair, lovely hair, alouette, alouette, oh, alouette,
01:04:53gentle alouette, alouette, you're a pretty thing.
01:04:57How I like your lovely eyes, how I like your lovely eyes, lovely eyes, lovely eyes, lovely
01:05:01hair, lovely hair, alouette, alouette, oh, alouette, gentle alouette, alouette, you're
01:05:10a pretty thing.
01:05:11How I like your lovely nose, how I like your lovely nose, lovely nose, lovely nose, lovely
01:05:16eyes, lovely eyes, lovely hair, lovely hair, alouette, alouette, oh, alouette, gentle alouette,
01:05:24alouette, you're a pretty thing.
01:05:27How I like your lovely mouth, how I like your lovely mouth, lovely mouth, lovely mouth,
01:05:31lovely nose, lovely nose, lovely eyes, lovely eyes, lovely hair, lovely hair, alouette,
01:05:36alouette, oh, alouette, gentle alouette, alouette, you're a pretty thing.
01:05:44How I love your graceful form, how I love your graceful form, graceful form, graceful
01:05:48form, lovely mouth, lovely mouth, lovely nose, lovely nose, lovely eyes, lovely eyes, lovely
01:05:53hair, lovely hair, alouette, alouette, oh, alouette, gentle alouette, alouette, you're
01:06:02a pretty thing.
01:06:04Oh, alouette, gentle alouette, alouette, you're a pretty thing.
01:06:13Excellent!
01:06:15Excellent!
01:06:16That was fine.
01:06:17It's a lucky thing you didn't stick to singing, Mr. Jameson.
01:06:20You'd have robbed me of a career.
01:06:22Of course, I still would have had my golden saxophone.
01:06:25Saxophone?
01:06:26I didn't do so bad with one myself.
01:06:28Let's get on with the contract.
01:06:29Yes, yes, to be sure.
01:06:30Mind if I look it over?
01:06:31No, no, go right ahead.
01:06:34Thank you, gentlemen.
01:06:37I enjoyed that very much.
01:06:39You were very good.
01:06:40Thank you very much, fellas.
01:06:41You were great.
01:06:42Remind me to send you a couple of tickets to my broadcast.
01:06:44Oh, thank you very much.
01:06:45Yes, yes.
01:06:46Remind me well.
01:06:47So long.
01:06:48I enjoyed that very much.
01:06:49You were very good.
01:06:57You and I ride in the crest of the wave once again.
01:07:05Congratulations, Mr. Jameson.
01:07:06You've bought yourself a great radio show.
01:07:12My first saxophone.
01:07:13Oh, a lovely instrument.
01:07:15A beautiful instrument.
01:07:16Oh, thank you.
01:07:18Would you care to try it?
01:07:20I don't think I could even run the scale again.
01:07:22Oh, I'm sure you could.
01:07:23Why don't you try it?
01:07:24Go ahead.
01:07:25I've even forgotten how to hold it.
01:07:26I'll watch you.
01:07:27Maybe I'll get it again.
01:07:30I'm sure you'll get it as soon as you blow a note.
01:07:32Go ahead.
01:07:33Try it.
01:07:35Oh, no.
01:07:36I couldn't.
01:07:38Oh, go ahead.
01:07:39I wish you would.
01:07:40You try it.
01:07:41All right if you insist.
01:07:42Oh, but I do.
01:07:43But remember the old saying, what I blow in here
01:07:45may be entirely different from what comes out here.
01:07:48Oh, what a sense of humor, Mr. Jameson.
01:07:51What a sense of humor.
01:07:53Go ahead.
01:07:55Go ahead.
01:08:07Corrie, where have you been?
01:08:08I've been waiting to hear from you.
01:08:10There are a lot of things I've got to tell you about.
01:08:12There's only one thing I want to hear.
01:08:13Have you settled everything with Pinky Wilson?
01:08:15Because I've sold the show to Jameson.
01:08:18You what?
01:08:19Yeah, sure.
01:08:20Here's the contract.
01:08:21Isn't that wonderful?
01:08:23Oh, me.
01:08:25Well, what's the matter?
01:08:26Aren't you happy?
01:08:28Yeah.
01:08:29Yeah.
01:08:30Well, you've got a funny way of showing it.
01:08:33What's wrong?
01:08:35We've got Jameson, but we haven't got Pinky.
01:08:38Well, didn't you sign him up?
01:08:40Johnny did.
01:08:41Johnny?
01:08:42But how could Johnny?
01:08:43Now, calm down.
01:08:44I'll explain everything.
01:08:45I finally got Pinky to say he'd sell the show to you.
01:08:48We arrived this morning, but he got lost at the station,
01:08:51so I came on ahead.
01:08:53And then I remembered.
01:08:55I'd given him one of my old cards with Johnny's address on it.
01:08:59Sounds mighty fishy to me.
01:09:02Oh, now, Leroy, if you're not going to believe me,
01:09:05how are we going to be partners?
01:09:08OK, then why?
01:09:09Well, I went to Johnny's office.
01:09:11Pinky had already been there and left.
01:09:13So I raced over to NBC, and what do you think I found?
01:09:17Don't tell me.
01:09:19Johnny.
01:09:20That double-crosser had found out from Pinky
01:09:22about the People Are Funny show
01:09:23and had already signed him to an exclusive contract.
01:09:27That's fine.
01:09:28I got Jameson signed, and we don't even own the show.
01:09:31And you were going to fix everything.
01:09:34Where's Pinky now?
01:09:35Gone back home.
01:09:38I'd like to go over and tear that goobdell apart.
01:09:41Well, now, he's pretty big, you know.
01:09:44He's liable to punch you in the nose.
01:09:46Is that so?
01:09:47Well, he'll be mighty sorry if he punches me in the nose.
01:09:50What'll you do, honey?
01:09:51Bleed all over him?
01:09:53Now, Cory, there's not a cowardly bone in my body,
01:09:57and you know it.
01:09:59Of course, every now and then, the meat around him
01:10:02gets a little jumpy.
01:10:06What'll we do next?
01:10:08Well, you know, there is something we could...
01:10:13Oh, no, I guess not.
01:10:15Well, what?
01:10:16What is it?
01:10:17Well, you know, Pinky'll do almost anything I want him to.
01:10:22So if Johnny didn't have the signed contract,
01:10:26I could get Pinky to do the show for us.
01:10:29Yes, but Johnny has the contract.
01:10:32He has now.
01:10:33But somebody could steal it from him.
01:10:36Steal it?
01:10:37Can't do that.
01:10:38I might catch you, arrest you, put you in jail.
01:10:41You can't steal...
01:10:44Who'd you have in mind to do the stealing?
01:10:50Now, wait a minute.
01:10:51You don't mean me.
01:11:00I don't like the tone of what you're not saying.
01:11:03It's right in Johnny's filing cabinet.
01:11:05It'll be a cinch.
01:11:06Now, wait a minute.
01:11:07I'm not doing any stealing for anybody.
01:11:09Oh, Roy.
01:11:11I'm not doing any stealing.
01:11:14Nothing will help you because I'm not doing any stealing.
01:11:22I hope I don't get caught.
01:11:26Hello?
01:11:29Hello, Johnny?
01:11:30Cory, darling.
01:11:31Oh, I knew you'd call.
01:11:33I knew you wouldn't go to work for Brinker.
01:11:35Not when Johnny needs you.
01:11:37Remember?
01:11:38You're Johnny.
01:11:41Don't give me any of that you're Johnny business.
01:11:43That's over for good.
01:11:44Yes, I understand, of course.
01:11:46But where are you?
01:11:47I've got something for you.
01:11:49I'm at LeRoy's office.
01:11:50LeRoy's?
01:11:51Now, understand this, Johnny.
01:11:53Whatever I'm doing, I'm doing for Pinky's sake.
01:11:55And you'd better play ball with me or you won't have anything.
01:11:58Now, I've just had a talk with LeRoy.
01:12:01Mm-hmm.
01:12:05Yes, I will.
01:12:07Goodbye, Cory.
01:12:11Oh, boy.
01:12:35Well, what is it?
01:12:43Hey, Ben, Janitor.
01:12:44He used to come in to clean up.
01:12:47You're new here, aren't you?
01:12:48Yes.
01:12:50Where's Grogan?
01:12:51Grogan, uh, Grogan, he been sick to stomach.
01:12:54But they clean very good.
01:12:56They start here, if you don't mind.
01:12:58Oh, no, no.
01:12:59Go right ahead.
01:13:00Make all the noise you want.
01:13:01Oh, good.
01:13:32All right, men.
01:13:36Hey, you bring him in here.
01:13:37What goes on here?
01:13:38Ah, drop it, LeRoy.
01:13:40You do a terrible sweep.
01:13:42Well, it's just a gag.
01:13:44Can't you take a little joke?
01:13:47Burglary.
01:13:48Yeah, that's what it is.
01:13:49It is inside pocket joke.
01:13:53Red-handed, Mr. Goodell.
01:13:54Good for five years.
01:13:55At least.
01:13:56Now, just a minute.
01:13:58Whom do you think you're pushing around?
01:13:59Whom?
01:14:00You.
01:14:01That's whom.
01:14:02Now, take it easy, fellas.
01:14:03I can explain everything if you just give me a chance.
01:14:05LeRoy, there's one thing I can't stand.
01:14:07Dishonesty.
01:14:08Take him away.
01:14:13LeRoy.
01:14:16What in the world is this?
01:14:26I've been framed.
01:14:30As if you didn't know.
01:14:50People are funny.
01:14:54Welcome to people are funny, Mr. Hinckley.
01:14:56Now, do you believe in taking chances?
01:14:58No.
01:14:59You don't?
01:15:00Don't worry, Mr. Hinckley.
01:15:01You aren't taking any chances.
01:15:03You haven't got a chance.
01:15:06Now, Mr. Hinckley, did you say you were married?
01:15:08Yes, Mr. Linklater, very much so.
01:15:10Is your wife here tonight?
01:15:12No, my mother-in-law brought me.
01:15:14Oh, that's fine, Mr. Hinckley, because you must know all about runs in women's stockings.
01:15:18We're going to give you a chance to go out on Hollywood Boulevard
01:15:21and inspect the stockings of all the ladies you can.
01:15:24You think you can do that?
01:15:25Isn't that kind of dangerous?
01:15:27You'll find out.
01:15:28Here's a tape measure.
01:15:30You measure all the runs you can and bring back all the women with runs longer than six inches,
01:15:35and you'll win yourself a swell prize.
01:15:38I might get arrested.
01:15:39Oh, no.
01:15:41Goodbye, Mr. Hinckley.
01:15:43Say goodbye to him, audience.
01:15:50Terrific.
01:15:51It'll last as long as radio, eh, Mr. Jamieson?
01:15:53It's fine, thanks to Miss Sullivan.
01:15:55I'm going upstairs to listen to the client's group.
01:15:57There's too much commotion in here.
01:15:58Excuse me.
01:16:07And now we come to a department of People Are Funny that promises to be very interesting if you have strong nerves.
01:16:13Who's our next guest, sir?
01:16:16Mr. John B. Hatcher of Davenport Art.
01:16:18How do you do, Mr. Hatcher?
01:16:27Mr. Hapsworth, have you ever heard of William Tell?
01:16:29Oh, yes.
01:16:30Well, tell us about him.
01:16:32Well, he was a fellow that shot the apple off his son's head with a bow and arrow.
01:16:37Very fine, Mr. Hapsworth.
01:16:39Very fine.
01:16:40What am I holding in my hand, Mr. Hapsworth?
01:16:43An apple.
01:16:44An apple.
01:16:45An apple.
01:16:46Does this suggest anything to you?
01:16:50No.
01:16:51It does to us, Mr. Hapsworth.
01:16:54You know, tonight we're going to determine whether or not history repeats itself.
01:16:59We tried to bring William Tell to Hollywood, but he couldn't get a reservation.
01:17:03So we found the man who had a reservation.
01:17:07Indian chief Red Cloud, the famous bow and arrow expert.
01:17:11Bring him on with a nice hand, folks.
01:17:15There he is.
01:17:18Right over here, chief.
01:17:19And we're all set to do the stunt.
01:17:21Now, the first thing we'd like to have...
01:17:23Chief, chief.
01:17:24That's the audience.
01:17:26Over here.
01:17:27That's it.
01:17:28Now I'd like to have you shake hands with William Tell's son.
01:17:33Chief, that's the microphone.
01:17:35Mr. Hapsworth's over here.
01:17:36Can't you see?
01:17:38Can't see a thing without my glasses.
01:17:42Now don't worry, Mr. Hapsworth.
01:17:44The chief can shoot with his eyes shut.
01:17:46Of course, he doesn't hit what he shoots at, but still he can shoot.
01:17:49And just to prove it, we're going to have him take a couple of practice shots at that target back there.
01:17:53Boys, bring out the target.
01:17:56Atta boy, chief.
01:17:57Limber up.
01:17:58Start shooting now.
01:17:59Let's go.
01:18:01That's your audience.
01:18:02The other way.
01:18:03Not this way.
01:18:04You're shooting at me.
01:18:05Take the chief back there.
01:18:06Now listen here, Mr. Hapsworth.
01:18:07His sense of direction is just a little poor, but he'll get it.
01:18:10Now, Mr. Hapsworth, just imagine that you're the figure back there on the target.
01:18:14There's an apple on your head.
01:18:16Okay, chief.
01:18:17Make it a bullseye.
01:18:20Oh, a beauty.
01:18:23Just a moment, Mr. Hapsworth.
01:18:26Oh, how did I ever get into this?
01:18:28Don't worry.
01:18:30Now, Irv, take Mr. Hapsworth over there and put him up against the target.
01:18:34That's it.
01:18:35Oh, folks, Mr. Hapsworth's having more fun here tonight.
01:18:38Put him up there.
01:18:39That's it.
01:18:40Look at him.
01:18:42Put the apple on his head, Irv.
01:18:44That's it.
01:18:45Right there.
01:18:49Can you see the apple, chief?
01:18:51What apple?
01:18:53What apple?
01:18:54That's all right, Mr. Hapsworth.
01:19:00All right.
01:19:01Up with the bow and arrow.
01:19:04Ready.
01:19:07Aim.
01:19:11Fire.
01:19:15Oh, a bullseye.
01:19:23Oh, Mr. Hapsworth, face.
01:19:48Pinky.
01:19:52Hello, Grandma.
01:19:53Hello, everybody.
01:19:54Come along, Pinky.
01:19:55Glad to see you, Pinky.
01:19:56Come along.
01:19:57They're all waiting to see you.
01:19:58Come along, Pinky.
01:19:59Come on, Pinky.
01:20:00Come on.
01:20:01Come right in, Pinky.
01:20:02Come in.
01:20:03You look tired.
01:20:04Pinky, my boy, how does it feel to be a big success?
01:20:08We've gone right ahead with the plans for the church.
01:20:10Yes, and we've already started on a new clubhouse.
01:20:12You sure put Clearwater on the map, Pinky.
01:20:15I'm not a success.
01:20:17It's terrible.
01:20:18I've got to tell you.
01:20:19What's the matter, Pinky?
01:20:21Well, the clubhouse and church and Mr. Pippen Siegel.
01:20:26Well, it's all off.
01:20:28The radio show is off, too.
01:20:30I'm the biggest failure in the world.
01:20:32Oh, that's very funny.
01:20:35Oh, what a joke.
01:20:39Well, folks, that'll give you just a rough idea of what to expect on the new Jameson product program.
01:20:45From here, people are funny gets wilder and funnier.
01:20:50It's on the air.
01:20:51People are funny.
01:20:52They put it on.
01:20:54Oh, Grandma.
01:20:57That's wonderful.
01:20:58They put it on.
01:21:00Of course it is.
01:21:01That's why we're all here.
01:21:02Miss Sullivan phoned us.
01:21:03You were coming home.
01:21:04But how did she do it?
01:21:05Mr. Jameson, Bricker, Cadell, they were all.
01:21:07She got them all to work together, and they put it on.
01:21:10Miss Sullivan did it.
01:21:12I mean, Corey.
01:21:13He's back, folks.
01:21:14Remember the little man we sent out on Hollywood Boulevard to measure the runs in women's stockings?
01:21:19Bring him in, Leroy.
01:21:20I'm surprised he's still at one feet.
01:21:22Well, Mr. Hinckley, come right in and tell us.
01:21:25Did you find any runs in the ladies' stockings?
01:21:27Yes, sir, I did.
01:21:28Oh, you're a brave man.
01:21:29Tell us what happened.
01:21:31Oh, folks.
01:21:34A great big black shiner.
01:21:38But don't worry, Mr. Hinckley.
01:21:40Wait till you see the prize in that black aisle brighten up.
01:21:43I hope so.
01:21:44Tell us, did you find any runs longer than six inches?
01:21:47Yes, sir, lots of them.
01:21:48Did you bring the ladies back with you?
01:21:50Yes, he did, Art, four of them.
01:21:51They're good sports, too.
01:21:52They're right over here.
01:21:53Well, bring them in.
01:21:54We want to see the runs.
01:21:55Mr. Hinckley can't have all the fun.
01:22:00Hurry up, ladies.
01:22:01Hurry up.
01:22:06What a lovely group of women.
01:22:08Ladies, you know the one with the longest run wins the prize.
01:22:11You don't mind showing your stockings?
01:22:14Well, up with the skirts.
01:22:16Wow, look at that.
01:22:17Eight inches.
01:22:18Ten inches.
01:22:19Oh, there's a honey.
01:22:20That's a foot, Mr. Hinckley.
01:22:22What's the matter with the fourth lady?
01:22:33She must have got caught on a barbed wire fence.
01:22:36No use measuring that one, Mr. Hinckley.
01:22:38She wins the prize.
01:22:40Give them a nice hand, folks.
01:22:50Hey, those guys again.
01:22:53You know, ladies, why, they're men, all four of them.
01:22:56Hey, wait a while.
01:22:57Folks, they fool me.
01:22:58Believe me.
01:22:59Say, fellas, what's the gag?
01:23:00Ah, we've been trying to get on the radio for so long,
01:23:02we just had to do something.
01:23:04You want to get on the air?
01:23:05Well, what do you do?
01:23:06What do we do?
01:23:08We'll show you.
01:23:09We got the instruments right out there.
01:23:10Well, come on.
01:23:11Show us.
01:23:12Come on, let's go.
01:23:13Wait a while.
01:23:14You sure someone won't throw us out?
01:23:16Not a chance.
01:23:17This is people are funny.
01:23:19And folks, this definitely proves that anything
01:23:22can happen on this program.
01:23:24Oh, well, I guess they deserve a break, too.
01:23:29What little ditty you boys going to do?
01:23:30It's a new thing called Chuckalucka.
01:23:32Oh, sounds just right.
01:23:33It's a new game.
01:23:35Got a new name.
01:23:37Easy as A, B, C.
01:23:39I'm going to tell you what you are.
01:23:41And when I tell you what you are,
01:23:44make believe that that's what you are and follow me.
01:23:50Let's go chuckaluckin'.
01:23:53Let's do something new.
01:23:55Let's go chuckaluckin'.
01:23:58Stop, you're a kangaroo.
01:24:08Chuck, why you dancing?
01:24:11Let's start raising cage.
01:24:13Hands up, why you dancing?
01:24:16Stop, you're an aeroplane.
01:24:21Change to a fancy skater.
01:24:31Change to a nightclub waiter.
01:24:38Let's go chuckaluckin'.
01:24:41Let's have fun and play.
01:24:44Let's go chuckaluckin'.
01:24:46Chuck your troubles away.
01:24:50Let's go chuck, chuck, chuckaluckin'.
01:24:53Let's give this dance a whirl.
01:24:55Let's go chuckaluckin'.
01:24:57Stop, you're a glamour girl.
01:25:08Chuck, chuck, chuck, chuck, why you dancing?
01:25:11Join the merry clan.
01:25:13Let's go chuck, chuckaluckin'.
01:25:15Stop, you're a dodger fan.
01:25:23Chuck, chuck, why you dancing?
01:25:25Baby, let's have fun and mug.
01:25:28Heads up, why you dancing?
01:25:30Stop, you're a jitterbug.
01:25:38Change to a nanny goat man.
01:25:43Change to a waterboat man.
01:25:54Let's go chuckaluckin'.
01:25:56Let's have fun and play.
01:25:59Let's go chuckaluckin'.
01:26:01Chuck your troubles away.
01:26:07That was fine, fellas! You were out of the air in a great, sweet way!
01:26:28Johnny Goodell!
01:26:32Where do you think you're going with my wedding ring?
01:26:34Oh, Cory, darling! Right in the middle of NBC?
01:26:38NBC can always use a little romance.