PG-13 | 1h 30min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | 29 May 2002 (USA)
Finally deciding to give marriage one more shot, Sam finds out his potential wife has kept a dark secret that could kill him.
Director: Rick Walker
Writer: Rick Walker
Stars: Ryan Brown, Jennifer Ferguson, Gary Busey
Finally deciding to give marriage one more shot, Sam finds out his potential wife has kept a dark secret that could kill him.
Director: Rick Walker
Writer: Rick Walker
Stars: Ryan Brown, Jennifer Ferguson, Gary Busey
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:30My parents always told me to try and help people.
00:00:46I figured the best way to do that was to become Superman.
00:00:49I found out early on that wasn't going to happen.
00:00:52So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:00:57The job worked.
00:00:58The marriage didn't.
00:00:59Let me give you some advice from a counselor.
00:01:00If you're going to get married, you need to be able to leap tall buildings in a single
00:01:01bound.
00:01:02Maybe that's what she was looking for.
00:01:03I was just never able to make the Superman thing happen.
00:01:04My parents always told me to try and help people.
00:01:05I figured the best way to do that was to become Superman.
00:01:06I found out early on that wasn't going to happen.
00:01:07So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:01:08The job worked.
00:01:09Let me give you some advice from a counselor.
00:01:10If you're going to get married, you need to be able to leap tall buildings in a single
00:01:11bound.
00:01:12Maybe that's what she was looking for.
00:01:13I was just never able to make the Superman thing happen.
00:01:34I found out early on that wasn't going to happen.
00:01:35So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:01:36The job worked.
00:01:37Let me give you some advice from a counselor.
00:01:38If you're going to get married, you need to be able to leap tall buildings in a single
00:01:39bound.
00:01:40Maybe that's what she was looking for.
00:01:41I found out early on that wasn't going to happen.
00:01:42So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:01:43The job worked.
00:01:44Let me give you some advice from a counselor.
00:01:45If you're going to get married, you need to be able to leap tall buildings in a single
00:01:46bound.
00:01:47Maybe that's what she was looking for.
00:01:48I found out early on that wasn't going to happen.
00:01:49So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:01:50The job worked.
00:01:51So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:01:52The job worked.
00:01:53Let me give you some advice from a counselor.
00:01:54If you're going to get married, you need to be able to leap tall buildings in a single
00:01:55bound.
00:01:56Maybe that's what she was looking for.
00:01:57I found out early on that wasn't going to happen.
00:01:58So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:01:59The job worked.
00:02:00Let me give you some advice from a counselor.
00:02:01If you're going to get married, you need to be able to leap tall buildings in a single
00:02:02bound.
00:02:03Maybe that's what she was looking for.
00:02:04So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:02:05The job worked.
00:02:06Let me give you some advice from a counselor.
00:02:37If you're going to get married, you need to be able to leap tall buildings in a single
00:02:38bound.
00:02:39Maybe that's what she was looking for.
00:02:40So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:02:41The job worked.
00:02:42Let me give you some advice from a counselor.
00:02:43If you're going to get married, you need to be able to leap tall buildings in a single
00:02:44bound.
00:02:45Maybe that's what she was looking for.
00:02:46So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:02:47The job worked.
00:02:48Let me give you some advice from a counselor.
00:02:49If you're going to get married, you need to be able to leap tall buildings in a single
00:02:50bound.
00:02:51Maybe that's what she was looking for.
00:02:52So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:02:53The job worked.
00:02:55Let me give you some advice from a counselor.
00:02:56If you're going to get married, you need to be able to leap tall buildings in a single
00:02:57bound.
00:02:58Maybe that's what she was looking for.
00:02:59So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:03:00The job worked.
00:03:01Let me give you some advice from a counselor.
00:03:02If you're going to get married, you need to be able to leap tall buildings in a single
00:03:03bound.
00:03:04Maybe that's what she was looking for.
00:03:05So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:03:06The job worked.
00:03:07Let me give you some advice from a counselor.
00:03:08If you're going to get married, you need to be able to leap tall buildings in a single
00:03:09bound.
00:03:10Maybe that's what she was looking for.
00:03:11So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:03:24Let me give you some advice from a counselor.
00:03:53Maybe that's what she was looking for.
00:04:21Let me put this in terms you can understand.
00:04:24More sex.
00:04:25You probably still have some ass before you're married stored in the freezer.
00:04:30Yeah.
00:04:31Just thought out.
00:04:32That's what I do.
00:04:33If I had any ass in the freezer, I'd take a look around you at all the hot chicks in
00:04:37here.
00:04:38You work at a school?
00:04:39I'll be at a public school.
00:04:40Do the math.
00:04:41It's like a chick buffet.
00:04:42You got your white meat, your dark meat, lots of protein.
00:04:48Evan, it's clear our boy here doesn't like the menu.
00:04:51We're going to have to go to a nicer buffet.
00:04:54Perhaps a smorgasbord?
00:04:56Ah, different species.
00:04:58No.
00:04:59All you can eat.
00:05:00No.
00:05:01Hey, no.
00:05:02Come on, get out of here.
00:05:03Go see the manager.
00:05:04No.
00:05:05Yeah.
00:05:06Go see the manager.
00:05:07Make it soul number one.
00:05:08No.
00:05:09Gentlemen, we have a special guest with us tonight.
00:05:10He's just finalized his divorce.
00:05:11Let's hear it for Sam.
00:05:13He's just finalized his divorce.
00:05:15Let's hear it for Sam Evans.
00:05:18And finally, he's going to be Sam.
00:05:28Thank you, guys.
00:05:36I'm Sam.
00:05:37Evan.
00:05:39I'm never getting married again.
00:05:43I'm never getting married again.
00:05:56I have a really good picture I want you to try.
00:05:59I'm glad you suggested it.
00:06:00I told his cheating ass to shut the hell up.
00:06:02He was going to wake up the baby.
00:06:04He called me a bitch.
00:06:05Yeah, I know.
00:06:07I went upside his head with my fist.
00:06:09Yeah.
00:06:11You know, if he wants that bitch, he can have her.
00:06:13You know.
00:06:14Oh, hang on just a second.
00:06:16Hi.
00:06:17Would you guys like smoking or not?
00:06:19Not.
00:06:20Okay.
00:06:21So you're Dustin's girlfriend?
00:06:22Yeah.
00:06:23How did you know?
00:06:24You guys know each other?
00:06:25He told me where you worked.
00:06:26I can see why he kicked your ass out.
00:06:28Obviously.
00:06:29And another thing, if you want to call me a bitch,
00:06:32then say it to my face.
00:06:34Here we go.
00:06:35Get off of me.
00:06:36Get off of me.
00:06:37Get off.
00:06:38Get off.
00:06:39Get off.
00:06:41Get off.
00:06:42Get off.
00:06:47Hey.
00:07:00That's not good.
00:07:01I don't know.
00:07:02Let's get her.
00:07:04That could last a long time.
00:07:07I'll never go to a bar with a guy on a date on a Saturday.
00:07:11If you go to a crowded bar on a Saturday and there's a cuter guy there,
00:07:14total upgrade.
00:07:17I dated a baseball player once.
00:07:18Lipo or vacation.
00:07:21His name's Clint.
00:07:22My ex-boyfriend thought I was psycho.
00:07:24Back that, you know.
00:07:28And then the upgrade's gonna peg me with having this loser boyfriend.
00:07:31Started dating a guy named Richard, who I had dated before I dated Clint.
00:07:35Truth is, all girls are psycho.
00:07:37Ass!
00:07:40My ex-boyfriend, Russ, who I had dated before any of these guys except for Adam.
00:07:45Drive by your house late at night.
00:07:47So I just go on first dates on Sundays.
00:07:49If I get lipo, it's gonna take away all my vacation money.
00:07:54I was dating somebody when I met him.
00:07:56Who was I dating when I met him?
00:07:58Log on to internet for your profile.
00:08:00But I'm not going to go on vacation without lipo.
00:08:03Every time I saw him, he had a different girl around.
00:08:05But I'm not like that.
00:08:11Have you seen the dessert menu?
00:08:13That way, if the guy turns out to be a total geek, I can soak it out of it earlier.
00:08:17You can always do the whole,
00:08:18Oh, God, I have to get up and go to work early tomorrow.
00:08:21That routine.
00:08:23Yeah.
00:08:24All I'm trying to say is, if you need an upgrade, it's just meant to be.
00:08:27You believe in destiny, don't you, Sam?
00:08:29Yeah. Yeah, I do.
00:08:32Well, we better run.
00:08:33I got to get up for work early tomorrow.
00:08:36You know, Mondays can be...
00:08:45Oh, hi, Sam.
00:08:47Hey, Sharon.
00:08:48How are you?
00:08:51I'm good.
00:08:52Oh, good.
00:08:55Yeah, I have a student, so I'm gonna...
00:08:58Oh, right. Yeah, I've got to teach class.
00:09:02Listen, maybe I'll see you in the teacher's lounge later?
00:09:08See how this one's taller than this one?
00:09:09I hate that.
00:09:10That's why I wear this one.
00:09:11The whole horizontal thing.
00:09:12It makes it look shorter.
00:09:13Don't you think?
00:09:14And this one is seasonal, because the iguana comes out in the summer.
00:09:18And this one...
00:09:31Sir, have a good workout.
00:09:56Need a spot?
00:09:59Thanks.
00:10:00No problem.
00:10:31Need a spot?
00:10:36K-A-G-T-E, the cat.
00:10:37It's the Rick and Brett Morning Show 726.
00:10:39We've got tickets to the sold-out Molly's Yes Show
00:10:41at the Bricktown Brewery next month.
00:10:43Keep it here. We'll let you know when to call in to win.
00:10:45Here's Molly's Yes Now with a cat.
00:10:49Mr. Eadney?
00:10:50Yeah.
00:10:53Yeah.
00:10:54Hey, there I am, honey.
00:10:57Hey, there I am, Melanie.
00:10:59What's going on?
00:11:00What's with the water treatment?
00:11:02Oh, it's just getting a drink.
00:11:05Well, I'll see you later.
00:11:07Thanks.
00:11:08I know today's not a regular session, but can I talk to you about boys?
00:11:12All boys want to have sex.
00:11:14I walk down the hall and it's just like...
00:11:15Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:11:16What boys?
00:11:17All of them.
00:11:18I want boys to like me and stuff, but I don't think I should have sex until I'm...
00:11:22You're older.
00:11:23No.
00:11:24Until I'm in love.
00:11:25You know, really in love with someone.
00:11:28Well, I think that sounds like a good idea.
00:11:31But they don't care about love.
00:11:33They're missing out on the greatest feeling in life.
00:11:36That's why I think they're stupid.
00:11:40Well, I'm not going to argue with you there.
00:11:44Look, I'll tell you what.
00:11:45Will you do me a favor?
00:11:47Will you come talk to me before you fall in love?
00:11:50I can't.
00:11:51I won't know.
00:11:52It just happens.
00:11:53Right, but if you start feeling like it's happening,
00:11:57will you come talk to me?
00:11:59Mr. Evening, don't be stupid.
00:12:01I'm not old enough to fall in love.
00:12:03I have to go to class.
00:12:04Thanks for talking to me again.
00:12:06Okay, well, hey, my door's open anytime, so come by.
00:12:11And hey, don't listen to what those boys say.
00:12:13Boys are...
00:12:15They're stupid.
00:12:18Take care of him.
00:12:19Bye.
00:12:20Bye.
00:12:47Hey.
00:12:59Great band.
00:13:10You going to the concert?
00:13:12You're going?
00:13:13Take care.
00:13:18Hey.
00:13:26Most magazines recommend 100 grams of protein a day.
00:13:29I personally like to take in about 200 grams before noon,
00:13:33because I don't know where my next bar or shake's going to come from,
00:13:36and I've got to stay up until 10.30.
00:13:38Now, the reason...
00:13:39Were you asking about Molly's, yes?
00:13:41Uh, yeah.
00:13:43Yeah, I love them.
00:13:44Yeah, they're playing in Bricktown next month.
00:13:46I heard on the radio.
00:13:48You going?
00:13:49Sold out.
00:13:51I'm Sam.
00:13:53Evening.
00:13:54Evening?
00:13:55No evening. It's my last name.
00:13:57No, it's just a joke.
00:13:58Sorry. I'm Janet Clark.
00:14:00I've actually heard about you.
00:14:02Really?
00:14:03A girl in aerobics class pointed you out the other day.
00:14:05Who?
00:14:06Her name was April.
00:14:08Oh, April. Yeah.
00:14:10Yeah. I don't know her.
00:14:11She was just next to me and started talking.
00:14:13April. Talking.
00:14:15You said you two went out a couple of Sundays ago.
00:14:17Girlfriend?
00:14:18No, no. It was just a date.
00:14:20A Sunday date.
00:14:21You know, the kind you can get out of if you have to.
00:14:23I've been on a few of those.
00:14:25Well, I should get going, so...
00:14:28Yeah, me too.
00:14:29It was nice meeting you, though.
00:14:30Yeah, you too.
00:14:41So how goes the hunt?
00:14:43Who's hunting?
00:14:44Sam.
00:14:45Sam saw a lovely doe at the gym today.
00:14:47He hasn't quite been able to strap to the hood of his car yet.
00:14:51Uh-oh.
00:14:52No.
00:14:53Shields are down.
00:14:54What?
00:14:55Parker, have you been bird-dogging for Sam down at the gym again?
00:14:59I spot him, go up, sniff around him,
00:15:03then pointed him like a setter.
00:15:05So Sam, who's the girl?
00:15:07She's different.
00:15:08She's a chick.
00:15:09No, no, no. She's different.
00:15:11He got nervous.
00:15:13Nervous?
00:15:14I don't know. Something.
00:15:16She snuck up behind him.
00:15:17He wasn't planning on engaging the enemy quite yet.
00:15:20Just some reconnaissance.
00:15:21Stealth attack.
00:15:22Very similar to the old Klingon cloaking device.
00:15:24Look, I talked to her for a second.
00:15:26It was no big deal.
00:15:27A wise man once said,
00:15:28when a man doesn't give details, he's hiding something.
00:15:32Who said that?
00:15:34Me.
00:15:35She said she had to go before I did.
00:15:37I was just about to say it, and then boom, she said it.
00:15:40That's a hard one to master.
00:15:42When you say gotta go,
00:15:44because if you say gotta go too quick,
00:15:46you're not getting enough information from her.
00:15:49And she's going to think you're not interested in her.
00:15:51But if you wait just a little longer...
00:15:53It's like baseball.
00:15:54If you wait too long to swing so you can see what the pitch is,
00:15:57you're going to strike out every time.
00:15:59You're smarter than Bob Costas.
00:16:02Who are you, John Gray?
00:16:04Who?
00:16:05Who?
00:16:06Who?
00:16:07Books?
00:16:09Mars? Venus?
00:16:11Does anybody read?
00:16:13Alright, look, it's not like it matters
00:16:15because I'm not ever going to talk to her again anyway, okay?
00:16:18True.
00:16:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:16:20Never, ever, ever.
00:16:24I was just about to say it.
00:16:28Get away from me, freak.
00:16:30Come on, Darian, you've been on that way too long.
00:16:33How about a kiss?
00:16:34The word no would get through that gel.
00:16:36You're going to give it up, one way or another.
00:16:38Stop it, you oily perv.
00:16:39Hey, ladies' men.
00:16:41Think you're about due for an oil change, huh?
00:17:10Okay.
00:17:16What if on sing about it, we went up a third?
00:17:19Okay, Natalie, can you do the hook for me one more time?
00:17:34Yeah.
00:17:39There's no one I'd rather spend my days with.
00:17:46Evan, that's, that's that girl.
00:17:49Blondie from the gym.
00:17:51Oh, that's her.
00:17:53And her friend.
00:17:55Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:17:56What?
00:17:57Don't worry, I'm not going to make any sudden moves
00:17:58not until we know their strategy.
00:18:00They might have their deflector shoes on.
00:18:01I can't remember her name.
00:18:03That's Janet, she comes in there every now and then.
00:18:05That's it, Janet.
00:18:07Shut up.
00:18:09Hey, you guys want some tater babies?
00:18:12No thanks, Park, you go ahead.
00:18:14Suit yourself.
00:18:16Do we go over there?
00:18:17Uh, no, we shouldn't go over there.
00:18:19Set up a little tracker beam, let them come to us.
00:18:22Do what?
00:18:24Take them some tater babies.
00:18:26Oh, yeah, Park, that should attract them.
00:18:28Hey, ladies, you look hungry.
00:18:29How about some greasy, fattening, half-baked potato-
00:18:31Hey, hey!
00:18:33They're twice baked.
00:18:35Sorry.
00:18:36Plus, baked potatoes are very healthy, Sam.
00:18:44Hey, Sam Evening.
00:18:46Hey, Janet.
00:18:52Great, first tracker beam.
00:18:56Hey, come join us, we just ordered some tater babies.
00:18:59I love those.
00:19:00Yeah, me too.
00:19:01Uh, Janet, this is Evan, he's a counselor with me.
00:19:04Hey, Evan, nice to meet you.
00:19:05Uh, Evan, this is Susan.
00:19:06Hey.
00:19:07I'm Susan, this is Sam.
00:19:08Hey, Sam, evening.
00:19:09Evening.
00:19:10No, I was asking-
00:19:11Oh, it's a joke.
00:19:12Yeah, it's my last name.
00:19:14Hey, you guys grab a seat.
00:19:16Um, does your friend want to join us?
00:19:18Uh, no.
00:19:19So you guys are counselors, huh?
00:19:21Yeah, yeah, we work with some really great kids over at Cherokee Hills Middle School.
00:19:24Oh, that's great.
00:19:25Shaping the minds of our youth.
00:19:27Yeah, yeah, something like that.
00:19:29How about you?
00:19:30Oh, we're producers at the Jungle Room Recording Studios.
00:19:33Janet here is the Big Shot EP.
00:19:35Really?
00:19:36Guys, ugh, I hate to eat and run, but I gotta hit the gym.
00:19:40Uh, Janet, Susan, this is Parker.
00:19:43Hi.
00:19:44Hey, Parker.
00:19:45You know, you are the only guy at the gym that carries snacks in his workout bag.
00:19:48She notices the snacks, but not the fact I'm slinging 260.
00:19:51Um, not snacks so much, really.
00:19:54More low-sodium potato chips.
00:19:56Carbs, workout, I'm sure you've read about that.
00:19:59Well, I love a guy who loves to eat.
00:20:02I steal another heart.
00:20:05Ladies, Sam, see you at the gym?
00:20:08See you there, Park.
00:20:10Well, we should get going, too.
00:20:12Got an early start tomorrow.
00:20:14Yeah, yeah, I guess I should head to the gym, but it's good to see you again.
00:20:19Yeah, good to see you, too.
00:20:20Evan, it was nice to meet you.
00:20:21Oh, hey, maybe we'll see you in here again.
00:20:23Cool, take care.
00:20:25You, too.
00:20:26Bye.
00:20:27Bye.
00:20:29Did you just give her a Star Trek sign?
00:20:31It's not the Star Trek sign.
00:20:33It means live long and prosper.
00:20:35What was that split-finger thing he just did?
00:20:38It's from Star Trek.
00:20:39Really?
00:20:41Oh, that's right.
00:20:42You used to watch that, didn't you?
00:20:44Yeah.
00:20:45We were just getting comfortable up there.
00:20:47Do you remember the other night?
00:20:48It's better to we gotta go first.
00:20:53True.
00:20:55Okay, yeah, you're right.
00:20:58Good move.
00:20:59He's kind of cute, huh?
00:21:00Yeah.
00:21:01Yeah, but they all start out cute.
00:21:03Working out, pretending to like the same bands.
00:21:05Hey, what time is it?
00:21:07Voyager's on tonight.
00:21:09You still watch that?
00:21:11Sometimes I do.
00:21:13You know, I mean, uh-huh.
00:21:16No, that's cool.
00:21:17I need to go work out anyway.
00:21:19Uh-huh.
00:21:24Yeah.
00:21:54Come in.
00:22:19Hi, Mr. Evening.
00:22:21Hey, Darian.
00:22:23Hey, come in.
00:22:24Have a seat.
00:22:26Been having any more problems from, uh, what's his name?
00:22:29Who, Crisco Kid?
00:22:31No.
00:22:33Well, that's good.
00:22:34Let me know if he gives you any more problems.
00:22:36No, I will.
00:22:37Don't worry.
00:22:38He's one of those guys that reminds me of my dad.
00:22:40Sex, sex, sex.
00:22:42With whoever and wherever.
00:22:44Sex doesn't last forever, like love.
00:22:47You think love lasts forever?
00:22:49Yeah.
00:22:50Even if one of them dies and they really, truly love each other,
00:22:53they're still together, you know, in their hearts.
00:22:56Like my grandma.
00:22:57She's totally still hot for my grandpa,
00:22:59even though he died, like, five years ago.
00:23:01She's not even interested in other guys.
00:23:03Is that right?
00:23:04Well, she will go to Luby's with Mr. Farley,
00:23:06but that's just so he'll mow the yard.
00:23:09Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal to me.
00:23:11I can't wait to be in love.
00:23:13Why?
00:23:15Because I want that look my grandma has
00:23:18when she talks about grandpa.
00:23:19Well, I've got to go, Mr. Evening.
00:23:20Thanks for talking to me again.
00:23:21You're welcome, Darian.
00:23:22I always enjoy our sessions together.
00:23:50So tell me, how'd you win these tickets again?
00:23:52It's a combination of zen, the force, the Vulcan mind-meld,
00:23:56mixing, you know, calling them a dime, my brother.
00:23:59Hey, Sam.
00:24:00Hey, Evan, how've you been?
00:24:01Great, you?
00:24:02Working a lot.
00:24:04So did you come here with, um...
00:24:06Janet?
00:24:07Yeah, she's with the band.
00:24:09You're kidding me.
00:24:10Wow, I had no idea this was one of her bands.
00:24:12Uh-huh.
00:24:13Talking about me behind my back?
00:24:14Hey.
00:24:15Hey.
00:24:16Hey, Evan.
00:24:17Saw you two from the side of the stage.
00:24:19If y'all are here to pick up chicks, this is the night.
00:24:21Really?
00:24:22Yeah, this band really pulls them in.
00:24:24I came to see the band only.
00:24:27No chicks tonight, just, uh...
00:24:29We're just strictly groupies.
00:24:31Groupies.
00:24:32Well, cool.
00:24:33I'll see the guys.
00:24:34Well, look, we've got to get going.
00:24:36They're about to come back on, so...
00:24:38Hey, are you going to be around after the show?
00:24:40Yeah, probably.
00:24:42Hey, are you going to be around after the show?
00:24:44Yeah, probably.
00:24:45Uh, yeah, probably, you know,
00:24:48unless some chicks drag us out of here or something.
00:24:50Why, you're here after the show.
00:24:52Sounds good.
00:25:00Hold on a second.
00:25:01I'd hate to even venture a guess.
00:25:03If the planets were in perfect alignment
00:25:06and you were to marry Janet...
00:25:08Evan, it's tough love.
00:25:10It's tough love.
00:25:11But I'm going to have to put you in rehab.
00:25:13Your names would be Sam and Janet Evening, like the song.
00:25:16I know, I know.
00:25:17You know?
00:25:18Aha, so busted!
00:25:19So you've thought about this.
00:25:21Not about marriage, just about the whole name song thing.
00:25:24Shut up.
00:25:27Busted.
00:25:41Blood's evil as a spider
00:26:03So, we're at the grocery store the other night
00:26:05and there's this guy standing in front of us.
00:26:07Who is clearly over the ten-item limit.
00:26:09Clearly.
00:26:10He had at least ten of those meat pocket things.
00:26:12Not to mention the other crap.
00:26:14Cuba beer.
00:26:15And he had some of that, you know the lunch meat
00:26:17that's got the fat around the borders?
00:26:19And condoms.
00:26:20Right, condoms.
00:26:21Sounds like a big night.
00:26:22So we get our stuff up to the front.
00:26:24The clerk starts shouting.
00:26:25And she's done.
00:26:26She looks at him and she goes,
00:26:27So, we must be single, right?
00:26:29He goes, why?
00:26:30Because of all the beer and the rubbers and stuff?
00:26:32And she goes,
00:26:33No!
00:26:34Because you're butt ugly!
00:26:36That did not happen.
00:26:38True story.
00:26:39Scout's honor.
00:26:40You're a scout?
00:26:41Scout?
00:26:42I can tie eight different kinds of knots.
00:26:44It's true.
00:26:45If you ever need a knot tied, Evan's your man.
00:26:47What about you?
00:26:48What, tying the knot?
00:26:49No.
00:26:50Not very good at it.
00:26:54But hey, thanks for the beer.
00:26:56Yeah, well, thank you for taking me home.
00:26:59What about your car?
00:27:00Tell Susan can come get me tomorrow.
00:27:02It's no big deal.
00:27:05So, I had a really great time.
00:27:09Me too.
00:27:11I'd invite you in, but my place is...
00:27:14It's okay, it's getting late.
00:27:16I should probably get going anyway.
00:27:18Well, I enjoyed it.
00:27:20Really.
00:27:22It was good to see you again.
00:27:23Me too.
00:27:28Goodnight.
00:27:29Goodnight.
00:27:30Goodnight.
00:27:32I'll talk to you later.
00:27:34Okay.
00:27:42Goodnight, Janet.
00:27:44Goodnight, Sam.
00:27:46He is awesome.
00:27:48She loves the same music I like.
00:27:50And he likes the same movies that I want to see.
00:27:53Plus, she's a huge football fan too.
00:27:55Wow, Janet, maybe.
00:27:57Don't even say it.
00:27:58What is going on here?
00:27:59Nothing is going on here.
00:28:01I wonder if these guys are going to call us.
00:28:03I mean, Evan knows where I work now.
00:28:05And Sam knows where you live.
00:28:07Hey, if they don't, they don't.
00:28:09I'm definitely not waiting by any phone.
00:28:11Me neither.
00:28:13They need to print an idiot's guide on when to call a girl book.
00:28:16Maybe we can all just be friends.
00:28:18Are you sure you want to get in the friend zone with these guys?
00:28:21Once you're there, there's no way out.
00:28:32Nice call, guys.
00:28:33Got to get out of here before the cops come.
00:28:35I'm telling you, Sam, it's going to happen.
00:28:37No, not me.
00:28:39Never again, my man. It's not going to happen.
00:28:41You get closer and closer, and then it starts.
00:28:44Small at first.
00:28:46She invites you to a friend's wedding just to see your reaction.
00:28:49Exactly. Then you guys head to the mall.
00:28:51It's off to buy a wedding gift.
00:28:53Sam, do you like this pattern?
00:28:55Chicks mark this stuff down, dude.
00:28:57They've got pie graphs. They've got charts.
00:28:59They email each other. They keep track of this stuff.
00:29:01And they file it later with their girlfriends at the find-a-husband tribunal.
00:29:04Chicks night out.
00:29:06That sounds good.
00:29:08I'll have some chicken fingers with that sauce.
00:29:12Sorry, the grill is closed.
00:29:14All right, look, they can have all the tribunals and all the meetings they want.
00:29:17They just can't include me in them.
00:29:19Not so fast, Captain.
00:29:21Consciously, you don't know anything.
00:29:23Subconsciously, you're being assimilated.
00:29:25What's with all the $10 words?
00:29:27About a $10 ride in Mama's car.
00:29:31They connect you to the hive, and after that, my brother, there is no getting away.
00:29:36What about Picard?
00:29:38Yeah, what about Picard?
00:29:41Well, yeah, Picard got away from the Borg somehow,
00:29:44but that was one of those season-premiered television ratings deals.
00:29:47Right, as opposed to this real Borg stuff that you're talking about, right?
00:29:52We mock, but I see the transformation has begun.
00:29:58Yeah, well, beam back to Earth, pal, because it ain't gonna happen.
00:30:01Beam that ass on over here to Planet Mama, huh?
00:30:03Last one, Evan.
00:30:05Make it so we're number one.
00:30:07Hey, uh, number one, my number seven, with the sauce.
00:30:12The grill is shut down!
00:30:15Darien was right, boys are stupid.
00:30:22Pictures fill my head
00:30:26I feel so trapped instead, but
00:30:30Trapped doesn't seem so bad
00:30:33Cause you are here
00:30:39It doesn't mean a thing
00:30:43Without you here with me
00:30:48And I can try to justify
00:30:52That's my sister.
00:30:53I saw her.
00:30:55And my...
00:30:56My neighbor.
00:31:05Sam, there's still pictures.
00:31:08More pictures?
00:31:09More pictures.
00:31:10Oh, great.
00:31:12Good luck.
00:31:13Yeah, thanks, y'all.
00:31:18That right there was my dad's headlock.
00:31:20That's his.
00:31:22It doesn't mean a thing
00:31:27Without you here with me
00:31:31And I can try to justify
00:31:35But I still need you here with me
00:31:49I can do anything without you
00:31:53You give me the strength to do anything
00:31:57I can be everything I try to be
00:32:01Want some?
00:32:03Uh, no.
00:32:04Lost protein here.
00:32:07All right.
00:32:09Hmm?
00:32:11I'm gonna take a beer.
00:32:13Coming up.
00:32:15Susan.
00:32:17No, none for me.
00:32:19What are those?
00:32:20That's chicken hand.
00:32:22Chicken hand?
00:32:23Yeah, five chicken fingers.
00:32:25Want a thumb?
00:32:27No, that's okay.
00:32:31Want a pinky?
00:32:33Okay.
00:32:35Watch your bar.
00:32:40Well, well, well, what's up?
00:32:42Not a whole lot.
00:32:44I found that, uh, cable show,
00:32:46Sex and the City.
00:32:48Them pretty young things drinking them, uh...
00:32:51Cosmopolitan.
00:32:53Yeah, in one of them fancy glasses.
00:32:56Well, you don't need a fancy glass
00:32:58To drink a good cosmopolitan.
00:33:00I'll try one.
00:33:01It seems to work on TV.
00:33:03Hmm.
00:33:04You know you're a bona fide regular?
00:33:07Yeah, been coming in here
00:33:09Eight years and 42 nights.
00:33:12I want to know what a sophisticated
00:33:14Cosmopolitan-drinking beautiful woman
00:33:16Is doing in here without a man.
00:33:19I used to have men
00:33:21Back when I was young and pretty.
00:33:23You're still pretty.
00:33:26I used to. Three of them.
00:33:28Every last one of them used me up
00:33:30And then left me for younger, prettier.
00:33:36The kind that drink those cosmopolitans.
00:33:39I see it in here every night.
00:33:41Grab-ass one-liners.
00:33:43Lying. Cheating.
00:33:45Them young girlies, all they want to do
00:33:47Is get married.
00:33:49They should just find some man
00:33:51To bang their headboard against the wall.
00:33:53Curl their toes.
00:33:55Hey, that's what I do.
00:33:58Two years ago, New Orleans.
00:34:01The last fellow to get front-row seats
00:34:03To the Pointer Sisters.
00:34:05And then that was just to put art on me.
00:34:08That's beautiful.
00:34:12You're welcome.
00:34:13I'm going to need a drink.
00:34:15The usual?
00:34:17Make it a double.
00:34:19You got it.
00:34:28What's going on?
00:34:29I am cooking.
00:34:31Well, what's for dinner?
00:34:33Uh, tonight the chef is preparing
00:34:35One of his all-time classics
00:34:37A few of personal favorites.
00:34:39Oh, my favorite. Which one?
00:34:41Pizza rolls.
00:34:43Got it from one of Park's top-secret recipes.
00:34:46Let's see here.
00:34:48Start with a clean plate.
00:34:50Sounds good so far, Emeril.
00:34:52And, uh, yeah.
00:34:54Just, you know, cook them.
00:34:56Oh, oh, and you didn't think that
00:34:58There were pizza rolls just by themselves.
00:35:00There's more.
00:35:02Ranch dressing on the side.
00:35:04Oh, you know how to treat a girl.
00:35:06If I could learn to do my laundry,
00:35:08You could be my wife.
00:35:10Yeah, and if I could learn to bitch and moan
00:35:12And not give a damn about anything
00:35:14My husband ever said, I'd be perfect.
00:35:16I learned all about being a wife firsthand.
00:35:18Oh, now, baby, get over here.
00:35:20Come over here and love on me.
00:35:22You know you want it.
00:35:24Oh, baby, why you gotta be like that?
00:35:26Why can't we just talk?
00:35:28Why's it always gotta be about my love cookie?
00:35:30If you'd give me your love cookie every now and then
00:35:32I wouldn't have to go to the bakery
00:35:34I'll bet Parker's had the same conversation.
00:35:52You want to get out of here.
00:35:54Okay.
00:35:58These people are gonna be pissed
00:36:00If we leave these great seas and don't come back.
00:36:02So...
00:36:06Good point.
00:36:08Okay, we wait for them to clap.
00:36:10We make our move.
00:36:12Gotcha.
00:36:24Do you think we wasted money on those tickets?
00:36:26Oh, I don't know.
00:36:28That cello solo that went on for about an hour
00:36:30was pretty great.
00:36:32Which one was that?
00:36:34Oh, yeah, that one.
00:36:36Yeah, but I love your version.
00:36:38Yeah, well, thank you.
00:36:40Where's our car?
00:36:42Uh, we are...
00:36:44over there.
00:37:00Okay.
00:37:20Well, are you sure you don't need any help in there?
00:37:22Yeah, I'm sure.
00:37:24I don't know, I just...
00:37:26I feel like maybe we could conserve some water
00:37:28if we just both jumped in there together.
00:37:30See, honey?
00:37:32Another reason to like you.
00:37:34You're a concern for the environment.
00:37:36I'll be out in a second,
00:37:38then you can have what's left of the water.
00:37:40Yeah, well, save some hot water for me.
00:37:42Hot water?
00:37:44Don't you mean cold?
00:37:46And you're sure that you can reach all those places on your back?
00:37:48Yes, I'm sure.
00:37:50What about the front?
00:37:52If I can, you'll be the first to know.
00:37:58♪
00:38:04Must have been a dream that I remember
00:38:08Talking without words
00:38:14Syllables and air that would surrender
00:38:18They could not be heard
00:38:24And you were so warm and good
00:38:28And I survived that night again
00:38:33And the rain came down and hit the ground
00:38:39While we were standing there
00:38:44This is what I can honestly say
00:38:49I dream about day after day
00:38:58So once again it's Christmas
00:39:08I hope that all your wishes
00:39:12Of peace and love come true
00:39:19The children playing in the snow
00:39:23While mother plays with mistletoe
00:39:27This happy time of year
00:39:34The tree is bright and dressed
00:39:37With all the lights and special gifts
00:39:41So I know a goodness I'll just be
00:39:51A Christmas dream
00:40:22I saw an ad in the paper
00:40:24I went to this guy's house
00:40:26I walk in the door
00:40:27There's six of them staring at me
00:40:29I told them, I go
00:40:30They look like the Brady bunch
00:40:32And this guy ran right over to me
00:40:33So I said, okay, that's it
00:40:35I'll take the one that thinks I'm funny
00:40:37Smart doggy
00:40:39Pretending Sam is funny
00:40:40So you can come live with me
00:40:42Well, thanks a lot
00:40:44What's his name?
00:40:46That's up to you
00:40:49Brady?
00:40:51Brady
00:40:53Brady it is
00:40:55You like your name Brady?
00:40:57Yeah, I like Brady
00:40:59Oh, okay
00:41:05Uh-oh, flowers
00:41:08Why, uh-oh?
00:41:09Looks like somebody's being tame
00:41:13Marty, he's, uh...
00:41:15No, no, you start getting flowers
00:41:17This guy might be a cheetah
00:41:19Cheetah!
00:41:23Okay, you guys go
00:41:24Get out of here
00:41:25I gotta get Vans booked
00:41:26Yeah, girl, somebody has to work around here
00:41:29Right, Janet?
00:41:30Eye of the tiger
00:41:31Thanks, Marty
00:41:35So, is tonight going to be the big night?
00:41:39I don't know
00:41:41I feel so guilty
00:41:43I know
00:41:44It's not your fault, though
00:41:46Maybe
00:41:47God, I want to
00:41:49Go for it
00:41:50We'll see
00:41:52You know what happens when you're younger
00:41:54And you get your ears pierced
00:41:55And you haven't put the studs in for a really long time?
00:41:58The holes grow back together
00:42:03Okay, go
00:42:05Get out of here
00:42:16Okay
00:42:46Sam?
00:42:48Yeah, it's me
00:42:50I know, it's you, silly
00:42:53I was thinking
00:42:56You were thinking?
00:42:59Well, I...
00:43:03I know you and I haven't, um...
00:43:06No, no, we haven't
00:43:10We haven't
00:43:13No, no, we haven't
00:43:16Well, I don't want you to think that it's because I don't think you're attractive
00:43:21I do
00:43:23I feel a lot better about living the life of a middle school counselor monk
00:43:30I'm just kidding
00:43:31I know how you are
00:43:33You do?
00:43:34Yeah
00:43:36Hey, you've heard
00:43:37Huh?
00:43:39About the creature
00:43:42Oh, no, not the creature
00:43:44You know, you may have even gotten some pre-shower glimpses of the creature
00:43:47I've caught some post-shower glimpses of the creature
00:43:50But that's not the same creature, that one's weakened
00:43:52Water to the creature, it's like kryptonite to Superman
00:43:56It doesn't kill him, does it?
00:43:58No, no, it just makes him weaker until he can regain his strength
00:44:04Thank you, Sam
00:44:06You're so understanding about this
00:44:09I know how you are
00:44:11Sometimes I catch the way you look at Park
00:44:14Busted
00:44:15When he's eating that fried protein
00:44:17You know, it's not exactly what he eats, but how he eats it
00:44:22I mean, when he orders a plate of those heavily breaded deep fried cheese things
00:44:29And he dips them in ranch dressing, which slowly runs down his arm onto his sleeve
00:44:35I can't help myself
00:44:38When the ketchup runs down his cleavage
00:44:40It drives me insane
00:44:46I'll be back
00:44:50Where are you going?
00:45:01Seeing the ketchup, huh?
00:45:03Well, here you go
00:45:05Oh my God, you are so dead
00:45:07Is it turning you on?
00:45:27You liking this, huh?
00:45:29Turning you on?
00:45:35Yeah
00:45:45Yeah
00:45:46Hey, it's Evan, can you come down to my office?
00:45:48What's up?
00:45:49So I'm watching Star Trek the other night with Susan
00:45:52Well, you always knew how to work the ladies
00:45:54And I suddenly realized that Susan is watching Star Trek with me
00:45:59Yeah, you just said that
00:46:01No, I said I was watching Star Trek with her
00:46:04And then I realized that Susan was watching Star Trek with me
00:46:07Actually watching it, asking questions about the board, getting into it
00:46:10Well, good for her
00:46:12Maybe you should take her to one of those conventions, Commander
00:46:15Oh, okay
00:46:17Shoot a photon torpedo at a friend
00:46:19And you know I'm not a Commander yet
00:46:21My bad
00:46:22Forgiven
00:46:23Okay, so you guys were watching Star Trek
00:46:25Yeah, we're watching Star Trek
00:46:26Not just Star Trek, it was a rerun of Voyager, Janeway
00:46:29In English
00:46:32I think I'm already connected to the hive
00:46:36Dude
00:46:37And I know how you are about marriage and all that
00:46:39Wait a second, are you saying what I think you're saying?
00:46:42Sam, save the speech
00:46:44No, no, no, no, I'm happy for you
00:46:46Get over here
00:46:52Hey, live long and prosper
00:46:55Thanks, Sam, that means a lot
00:46:58You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you first like someone?
00:47:02I still have that feeling
00:47:04Me too
00:47:06Susan?
00:47:07What? I just love that feeling
00:47:10Actually, I love it and I hate it because you have no control over it
00:47:14So what? Just soak in it
00:47:16There's more going on here
00:47:18Susan
00:47:20Evan and I are, you know, we...
00:47:23Oh my gosh
00:47:24I knew it
00:47:25You guys are thinking about getting married? No lying?
00:47:28No lying
00:47:29Marty
00:47:30Susan
00:47:31Janet
00:47:32Susan
00:47:35Oh my gosh
00:47:36You're engaged?
00:47:37Oh my gosh
00:47:41Well, I think it's ridiculous
00:47:42Well, why do you have to be so stubborn?
00:47:44You need to start thinking in a new way
00:47:46I disagree, look, I did it before and it sucked and I vowed never to do it again
00:47:51Well, it was so bad last time
00:47:53If you were a guy, you'd understand
00:47:55Oh, so it's a guy thing
00:47:58If the guys even knew I was talking about it, much less doing it, they'd fall on their asses laughing
00:48:06Come here, sweetie
00:48:08Plus, it made me break out last time
00:48:12Only about one more minute
00:48:16Guys, it's sounding great, really
00:48:18Just to give it a little lift, introduce something into the outro
00:48:21That sounds great
00:48:22Really good
00:48:26Okay guys, let's try it like that
00:48:53Did you know Evan was going to ask Susan?
00:48:56I heard something about that, yeah
00:48:59Well, why didn't you tell me?
00:49:02I don't know, I just didn't think about it
00:49:05How could you not? Susan told me first thing
00:49:08Well, I don't know, I guess we just think differently
00:49:12Meaning?
00:49:14Meaning I didn't want to get into this conversation
00:49:17Oh yeah, how repulsive
00:49:19A conversation between two people who love each other about marriage
00:49:23Why are you attacking me?
00:49:25I'm not, I just don't understand why we can't talk about it
00:49:28Well, I don't know, I...
00:49:30Well, what are you so afraid of?
00:49:32I mean, you say that you love me
00:49:34I do
00:49:35I do, see, that wasn't so hard
00:49:38You're really funny
00:49:41I do love you
00:49:43Then what is it?
00:49:45Marriage just changes relationships
00:49:48I don't know why it does, but it does
00:49:50Ask anybody who's married
00:49:51Well, of course it changes it
00:49:53You stop dating, you become a family
00:49:55You live together and work together
00:49:57Love each other
00:49:58Eventually you have kids
00:50:00Kids?
00:50:02Well, you know what that means
00:50:04Some sex
00:50:05Sam, I'm serious
00:50:07You grow together and take care of each other
00:50:10You know, all that real awful stuff
00:50:13That's not what I meant
00:50:15Hey, all those things sound great when you talk about them
00:50:18But does it ever really happen?
00:50:20Because it didn't when I was married
00:50:22When people get married, they just...
00:50:25They stop trying
00:50:27I don't know why, ask any of my guy friends who are married
00:50:29They'll tell you the same thing
00:50:31You're listening to your guy friends about marriage?
00:50:34God, all these guys have somehow stumbled into your life
00:50:37Like the dream team for bachelorhood
00:50:41Sam, marriage is not that awful
00:50:43If you give 100% of yourself to the other person
00:50:47I mean, it's not perfect, but what is?
00:50:49How would you know?
00:50:51I've been married, trust me
00:50:53It can be awful
00:50:55It can be the worst experience of your life
00:51:03I need to tell you something
00:51:10What?
00:51:26Does he know?
00:51:28I told him last night
00:51:30About L.A. or...
00:51:32Yeah, about L.A.
00:51:34So did you guys...
00:51:36No
00:51:39I'm sorry
00:51:42I don't know, Susan
00:51:46Sorry to interrupt
00:51:47Janet, you have a call, line 3
00:51:49Thanks, Angie
00:51:51I'll let you take that
00:51:52Okay, bye
00:51:56This is Janet
00:51:57Can you meet me?
00:51:59What?
00:52:01No
00:52:03I just need to talk to you, that's all
00:52:05Please
00:52:06No, why?
00:52:08I'm downstairs in the lobby
00:52:10Just come meet me
00:52:12Give me five minutes
00:52:14Please
00:52:17I'll be down there in a minute
00:52:29Janet
00:52:31I'll be back in a minute
00:52:33Is that who I think it was?
00:52:34Yeah, I'm going downstairs
00:52:36He's in the lobby
00:52:37You're kidding!
00:52:38How long has it been?
00:52:40A year and a half
00:52:42I'll be back
00:52:44What was that all about?
00:52:46What's going on, guys?
00:52:47Steven is downstairs
00:52:49Oh my God
00:52:51Who?
00:52:56I can't believe you two haven't done it yet
00:52:58Yeah, well, believe it
00:53:00Me and Susan are hitting it
00:53:02White bunny wabbits
00:53:05Yeah, well, it's something
00:53:07Maybe it's her way of trapping me into a marriage proposal
00:53:09Just to get some?
00:53:11Don't they usually work the other way around?
00:53:12They give you sex to get you
00:53:14And then after the honeymoon, it stops
00:53:16Well, you're the one getting married
00:53:18Yeah, well, Susan's a different breed
00:53:21She's all wabbit
00:53:23Look, I love her
00:53:25I don't want to force her into anything if she's not ready
00:53:27If she wants to wait, that's fine
00:53:29I just...
00:53:31It's something
00:53:33I don't know
00:53:35Scotty, get me out of here
00:53:37I think he could explode at any moment
00:53:43I can't believe he shows up now
00:53:45And he said he comes in here a lot
00:53:47Probably alone
00:53:49He's a freak
00:53:50Well, there's a guy that comes in here alone every week
00:53:52And he sits right back there
00:53:55What did he tell you?
00:53:57I don't know
00:54:00He asked me to dinner
00:54:03I didn't know he could talk
00:54:07So what are you going to do?
00:54:09God, what can't I do?
00:54:13God
00:54:14I have been lying, lying to Sam for a year
00:54:19I can't just casually mention to Sam
00:54:21Oh, by the way, in case you were ever interested in marrying me
00:54:24You can't, because I already have a husband
00:54:26Gina, you're separated
00:54:28Legally, he just won't sign the papers
00:54:30That is not your fault
00:54:36God, why didn't I just tell him?
00:54:58You'll be okay, alright
00:55:12Looks like they're going to miss you
00:55:15Yeah
00:55:22What do you want me to do?
00:55:28I'll tell you what I want you to do
00:55:31I want you to marry me because you want to be with me
00:55:34Not because I want you to
00:55:36Or because I'm moving
00:55:37Or for any other reason but that you cannot stand to be away from me
00:55:44I'm just not ready to get married again, Janet
00:55:48I've still got too many problems and questions from my last marriage
00:55:53I'm the counselor
00:55:54And I'm probably the one that needs counseling because
00:55:58Because I love you and I've never felt this way about anybody before
00:56:05But I'm just scared that I'm going to ruin it by marrying you
00:56:09Ruin it?
00:56:10We've talked about this before, you know what I mean
00:56:16I got married at 19 years old
00:56:18And I lost 6 years of my life to a bad marriage like that
00:56:21And I still remember the way everything changed
00:56:23She changed
00:56:24She didn't even resemble the woman I remember marrying
00:56:26I'm not her
00:56:27I know that
00:56:28It's me
00:56:29If you've been married before, you would understand
00:56:41I can't do this
00:56:47I don't want you to be there when I leave
00:56:52And I don't want you to call me
00:56:55It'll just make it that much harder
00:57:03I don't want you to go
00:57:06I have to
00:57:10It's not fair
00:57:14Let me help you with this stuff
00:57:15I've got it
00:57:25I love you
00:57:43I love you
00:57:55For the last time
00:58:09Mr. Evening
00:58:13You look terrible
00:58:15Darian
00:58:17It's confusing
00:58:19What are you confused about?
00:58:20Maybe I can help you
00:58:25I thought I was supposed to be the one helping you
00:58:29Sit back in your chair, Mr. Evening, and tell me all about it
00:58:37Okay, um
00:58:40I told you about Janet, right?
00:58:42Some
00:58:44Okay, well she...
00:58:45Well, we...
00:58:46I don't even know where to begin
00:58:48She got a job offer
00:58:50And she has to move to...
00:58:51Are you going?
00:58:53Well, it's not really that easy
00:58:55Why not? She wants you to go, right?
00:58:58Well, yeah, but...
00:58:59So go
00:59:01And just leave my job, my friends, everything that...
00:59:04Why don't you tell me the real story?
00:59:09I can't believe I'm doing this
00:59:10Okay, um
00:59:14After my divorce, I went...
00:59:17So what do you think?
00:59:20Stupid boys
00:59:23That's it?
00:59:24Stupid boys?
00:59:26That's it
00:59:53I wanted to see if you guys had any...
01:00:15It's okay, you'll be fine
01:00:18I'm sorry
01:00:20It's okay, you'll be fine
01:00:25No, I won't
01:00:26Yes, you will
01:00:30You're sad and single
01:00:33No
01:00:39God, I'm suffocating
01:00:44I wish he would just come and kidnap me
01:00:50He was going to tickle my back
01:00:52And play with my hair and go to the games with me
01:00:55Janet, you have this great job
01:00:58I don't care about the job
01:00:59I would trade it in a second
01:01:05I've messed up, haven't I?
01:01:06No
01:01:08No, you haven't
01:01:09No, I think I have
01:01:10I think I messed up
01:01:12I think I pushed him too hard
01:01:13Janet, if he's not going to commit, it's not your fault
01:01:20No
01:01:23You have the one person I wish I had with me all the time
01:01:26You
01:01:33I think this is the last box
01:01:36I'm in the movers, going to do the rest
01:01:40I'm going to miss you
01:01:43I'm going to miss you too
01:01:47I should go
01:01:48Okay
01:01:49You call me at every stop and let me know you're okay
01:01:51I will
01:01:52Okay
01:01:53I love you, Susan
01:01:54Me too
01:02:19What?
01:02:33What are you doing here?
01:02:34I told you when you came to my office the other day
01:02:36That I did not want to see you again unless you had some signed papers
01:02:40I need to talk to you
01:02:41About what?
01:02:42Us
01:02:43Are you joking?
01:02:44Why haven't you signed the papers yet?
01:02:46I just can't
01:02:47I cannot live without you anymore
01:02:49This past year and a half
01:02:50Steven, I'm so sorry
01:02:51Did she find out you were cheating on her too?
01:02:53This doesn't have anything to do with anybody but you and me
01:02:56There is no you and me
01:02:58Janet
01:02:59Did you hit her a little too?
01:03:02I'm not like that anymore
01:03:04I've changed
01:03:05I'm just ready for you and me to pick up where we left off
01:03:08Well, great
01:03:09I'll see you at the courthouse
01:03:11Look, in the beginning we were so good together
01:03:13Let me come to L.A. with you
01:03:15I'll stay with you
01:03:16We can spend some time together
01:03:18Start fresh
01:03:19You're not going anywhere with me
01:03:21Just give me a chance here
01:03:22We can be together
01:03:28Oh
01:03:30Is it Sam?
01:03:32Is he going?
01:03:33How do you know about Sam?
01:03:35How do you know his name?
01:03:37I was at the bar one night when you guys were there together
01:03:40I asked the bartender who he was
01:03:43He doesn't seem like your type
01:03:44Look, Stephen, you need to leave
01:03:46And don't ever try to contact me again unless you've got some papers signed
01:03:50Here
01:03:51Look at these pictures
01:03:53We were so happy together that day
01:03:55It can be just like that again
01:03:57It'll be even better
01:04:05Just leave
01:04:14Just leave
01:04:44I'm sorry
01:05:14I think I'm falling
01:05:19Oh, won't you take me down
01:05:26Before I fade away
01:05:35I want to feel this
01:05:41Wrap my hands around this fate
01:05:48It can seal this
01:05:53I've got it down but it's too late
01:05:59I've got it down but it's too late
01:06:05I think I'm falling
01:06:11Oh, won't you take me down
01:06:18Before I fade away
01:06:29Before I fade away
01:06:59Before I fade away
01:07:29Before I fade away
01:07:47Before I fade away
01:07:59Before I fade away
01:08:05He hasn't called you?
01:08:07I've tried him a bunch of times but there's no answer
01:08:10He doesn't even have his answering machine on
01:08:13Have you heard from him?
01:08:14No, it's strange
01:08:16I thought so too
01:08:20I mean, I did tell him not to call me
01:08:22He knows what that means when a girlfriend says not to call, right?
01:08:26Thought so
01:08:28I guess he never got that idiot's guide on when to call a girl, but...
01:08:32Oh, Evan's been really weird ever since you left
01:08:35We're gonna talk tonight at the bar after work
01:08:38Maybe Sam will be there
01:08:40He went over to see her and saw some guy kiss her
01:08:42He recognized a guy from in here and I'd seen him in here before too
01:08:45Does he know who that guy is?
01:08:47Well, he does now
01:08:48I told him
01:08:50Sorry
01:08:52Does he know that Janet's...
01:08:53Still married? Yeah, why didn't you tell me?
01:08:55Don't look at me
01:08:56How does he know?
01:08:57Well, he asked the guy
01:08:59We were over here a couple of nights ago helping to close up
01:09:01He sees him over in the corner
01:09:03Of course, Sam had been over-served again
01:09:05And he decides to confront him
01:09:07It was like Kirk versus Khan
01:09:11Hey, dude
01:09:13Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back, alright?
01:09:16Alright
01:09:24Just make sure you shoot straight or you're walking
01:09:27What the hell are you looking at?
01:09:46Get away from me, you're wasted
01:09:49I've seen you before, I know you
01:09:52You know me? Really?
01:09:55I saw you kiss my girlfriend at her house
01:09:58I saw you do it
01:10:00You're a girl
01:10:01I can kiss you anytime I want
01:10:03She's my wife
01:10:06Yeah, Janet, my wife
01:10:10Stand up
01:10:13You don't want to do this in the station
01:10:14Yeah, I do
01:10:15Come on, Sam
01:10:16Or stand up
01:10:17Time to go home
01:10:18Yeah, get this drunk-ass guy out of my face
01:10:19Get him out of here
01:10:20The asshole says he's married to Janet
01:10:21What?
01:10:22I say we kick his ass
01:10:23Get out of here, man
01:10:29Where the hell did you get these?
01:10:31From my wedding book
01:10:33Come on, Sam
01:10:34Ask her
01:10:35Sam, come on, let's go
01:10:36She's been lying to you, ask her
01:10:37Yeah, she wouldn't marry you
01:10:38Ask her
01:10:39Ask her
01:10:43Stephen told him?
01:10:44You know him?
01:10:45Why didn't you tell me?
01:10:46We're getting married, communication
01:10:48Sorry, Evan, it wasn't my place to say anything
01:10:51They've been separated for over a year and a half
01:10:53Long before Sam ever came into the picture
01:10:55Well, he left out those details
01:10:57He just said he was Janet's husband
01:10:59Oh, God
01:11:00He's got wedding pictures on
01:11:01What kind of guy carries wedding pictures?
01:11:03He pulls them out and he showed them to Sam
01:11:05He just showed up recently
01:11:06Tried to hook back up with Janet
01:11:07She doesn't want anything to do with him
01:11:09I can't believe she's married
01:11:11Separated, legally separated
01:11:13He just won't sign the papers
01:11:15Look, you've got to talk to Sam
01:11:17Well, I'd like to, but he's on vacation
01:11:19Where?
01:11:20I don't know
01:11:21I've been trying to reach him at home
01:11:22But he's not answering his phone
01:11:44Hello?
01:11:46Evan
01:11:47Sam, where the hell have you been, man?
01:11:48I've been trying to call you for the past couple of weeks
01:11:51On another planet
01:11:52That's my line
01:11:53Hey, man, I'm glad you finally called
01:11:54I got some information about her husband
01:11:57What?
01:11:58Turns out he's been stalking Janet
01:12:01Steven?
01:12:02Yeah, con
01:12:03They're separated
01:12:04Legally
01:12:05Legally separated
01:12:06So it's like they're not even married
01:12:08For how long?
01:12:09For how long?
01:12:10About a year and a half
01:12:11So why not just get divorced?
01:12:13She wants to, she's trying
01:12:15He won't sign the divorce papers
01:12:17Hi, Susan
01:12:18Hey, Sam, are you okay?
01:12:21This whole thing is crazy
01:12:23Sam, please call her
01:12:25She misses you so much
01:12:27This guy is the whole reason she wouldn't sleep with you
01:12:29She's sleeping with him?
01:12:31No, no
01:12:32She's just felt guilty this entire year
01:12:34She just didn't think it was fair to you
01:12:36She wanted to tell you, but it was never the right time
01:12:39She hid this from me
01:12:41We talked about getting married
01:12:42She never even told me this
01:12:44I know, Sam
01:12:45She wanted to tell you
01:12:46She wishes she would have
01:12:50I can't just call her
01:12:52What am I going to say?
01:12:53That over the last few weeks
01:12:54I decided that it was cool that you were married this whole time
01:12:56And just didn't tell me?
01:12:58Sam, she regrets not telling you
01:13:00It's killing her
01:13:01Yeah, well, it's killing me too
01:13:04Sam, call her, please
01:13:09I don't know
01:13:12I'll talk to you guys later
01:13:14I gotta go
01:13:41I love you
01:14:11I love you too
01:14:34Hello?
01:14:35I'm going to LA
01:14:37What?
01:14:38Who is it?
01:14:39Sam
01:14:40Uh, did you build a transport room?
01:14:42Because I don't think a no-advance round trip to LA is in your budget
01:14:46No, it's not
01:14:47But a one-way ticket is
01:14:49Who booked a flight last night?
01:14:51Got the first good night's sleep that I've had in a long time
01:14:54Yes, Los Angeles
01:14:58Leaves at 1.15
01:15:00Okay, thanks
01:15:11Ah, full speed ahead
01:15:13Warp factor 10, Captain
01:15:16Look, I gotta go
01:15:17I got a lot of errands to run before I leave town
01:15:19Did you call her?
01:15:20Nope
01:15:21Gonna surprise her
01:15:22As a matter of fact, I got a lot of surprises
01:15:24Well, do me a favor, Sam
01:15:26Live long and please, please try to prosper
01:15:40Good night
01:16:01Good evening
01:16:03Where have you been?
01:16:05I've been kind of out of it
01:16:07I'm sorry
01:16:08I was worried about you
01:16:13Look, I did a lot of thinking about what you, uh
01:16:15What we were talking about and
01:16:19You were right about love
01:16:22So I wanted to come by and thank you on my way out of town
01:16:25California?
01:16:27Yeah
01:16:28This evening I knew you were in love
01:16:30I just knew it
01:16:32Well, I got a plane to catch
01:16:35You know, Darren
01:16:38You don't need counseling anymore
01:16:41You're one of the smartest, most well-adjusted people I know
01:16:44I know
01:16:45I just figured sometimes you needed to talk about stuff
01:16:54Well, how do I look?
01:17:00Like my grandma
01:17:02Go get her, Mr. Evening
01:17:32Bzzzzz
01:18:03Bzzzzz
01:18:05Bzzzzz
01:18:15Bzzzzz
01:18:19Bzzzzz
01:18:23Bzzzzz
01:18:32Bzzzzz
01:18:34Next Wednesday night
01:18:36The man is identified as Stephen Harwood
01:18:38Eyewitnesses say they saw him run the other car off the road
01:18:41And police tell me there is evidence he has been drinking
01:18:44A quick check of police records also reveals Stephen Harwood has been to jail time for spousal abuse
01:18:50Stephen Harwood was pronounced dead at the scene here moments ago
01:18:53The other victim has been taken to University Hospital where right now he is in critical condition
01:18:57His name will not be released pending notification of his relatives
01:19:01Reporting live from Airport Road, I'm Lynn Parker
01:19:31Bzzzzz
01:19:34Bzzzzz
01:19:37Bzzzzz
01:19:40Bzzzzz
01:19:43Bzzzzz
01:19:46Bzzzzz
01:19:49Bzzzzz
01:19:52Bzzzzz
01:19:55Bzzzzz
01:19:58Bzzzzz
01:20:01Bzzzzz
01:20:04Bzzzzz
01:20:07Bzzzzz
01:20:10Bzzzzz
01:20:13Bzzzzz
01:20:16Bzzzzz
01:20:19Bzzzzz
01:20:22Bzzzzz
01:20:25Bzzzzz
01:20:28Bzzzzz
01:20:31Bzzzzz
01:20:34Bzzzzz
01:20:37Bzzzzz
01:20:40Bzzzzz
01:20:43Bzzzzz
01:20:46Hi
01:20:49What's the time of death?
01:20:511711
01:20:53Okay
01:20:56There are two people down in the waiting room I need to go talk to
01:21:00Okay
01:21:14I'm very sorry
01:21:16Bzzzzz
01:21:19Bzzzzz
01:21:22Bzzzzz
01:21:25Bzzzzz
01:21:28Bzzzzz
01:21:31Bzzzzz
01:21:34Even if one of them dies and they really truly love each other
01:21:37They're still together, you know, in their hearts
01:21:40Bzzzzz
01:21:43Bzzzzz
01:21:46Bzzzzz
01:21:49Bzzzzz
01:21:52Bzzzzz
01:21:55Bzzzzz
01:21:58Bzzzzz
01:22:01Bzzzzz
01:22:10Brady?
01:22:17Bzzzzz
01:22:20Well how do I look?
01:22:25Like my grandma
01:22:28Go get her Mr. Evening
01:22:32Bzzzzz
01:22:36Bzzzzz
01:22:39Bzzzzz
01:22:42Bzzzzz
01:22:44Bzzzzz
01:22:47Bzzzzz
01:22:50Bzzzzz
01:22:53Bzzzzz
01:22:56Bzzzzz
01:22:59Bzzzzz
01:23:02Bzzzzz
01:23:05My god, did you see that?
01:23:07These crazy ass drivers
01:23:09We should stop but I know you gotta catch that flight
01:23:11Let me call this in to dispatch
01:23:13There's an EMSA station just around the corner
01:23:25I'm sorry you came all this way
01:23:27But that's not your friend who died in there
01:23:29I'm not surprised the guy who ran him off the road made a mistake
01:23:32As much alcohol is in his system
01:23:42Honk, honk
01:23:44Honk, honk
01:23:47Honk, honk
01:23:51Honk, honk
01:23:55HONK
01:24:02HONK
01:24:07HONK
01:24:11♪
01:24:31Brady?
01:24:41Hey, where'd you go?
01:25:06I was looking for you.
01:25:07I'm so sorry.
01:25:14Hey, it's okay, it's okay.
01:25:21While you were gone, I was talking to Brady and he told me that taking care of you is
01:25:30a pretty tough job to do all by himself.
01:25:34So I told him I'd help him take care of you.
01:25:40Always.
01:25:46Okay.
01:25:48Okay.
01:25:57I love you so much.
01:26:03Are we going to do this?
01:26:17Yeah!
01:26:18Yeah!
01:26:19Yay!
01:26:20Yay!
01:26:21Yay!
01:26:22Yay!
01:26:23Yay!
01:26:24Yay!
01:26:25Yay!
01:26:26Yay!
01:26:27Yay!
01:26:28Yay!
01:26:29Yay!
01:26:30Yay!
01:26:31Yay!
01:26:32Yay!
01:26:33Yay!
01:26:34Yay!
01:26:35Yay!
01:26:36Yay!
01:26:37Yay!
01:26:38Yay!
01:26:39Yay!
01:26:40Yay!
01:26:41Yay!
01:26:42Yay!
01:26:43Yay!
01:26:44Yay!
01:26:45Yay!
01:26:46Yay!
01:26:47Yay!
01:26:48Yay!
01:26:49Yay!
01:26:50Yay!
01:26:51Yay!
01:26:52Yay!
01:26:53Yay!
01:26:54Yay!
01:26:55Yay!
01:26:56Yay!
01:26:57Yay!
01:26:58Yay!
01:26:59Yay!
01:27:00Yay!
01:27:01Yay!
01:27:02Yay!
01:27:03Yay!
01:27:04Yay!
01:27:05Yay!
01:27:06Yay!
01:27:07Yay!
01:27:08Yay!
01:27:09Yay!
01:27:10Yay!
01:27:17Yay!
01:27:28Yay!
01:27:34Yay!
01:27:38I can feel the wind rushing by A flash of red in the evening sky
01:28:08Oh, I can feel the wind rushing by