Not Rated | 20min | Short, Comedy, Drama, Family | 15 October 2005 (USA)
Based on a true story - A couple days in the life of an Asian actor in Hollywood, and the stereotypes he faces in the industry & his personal life.
Director: Kitania Kavey
Writer: David Mulligan
Stars: Josiah D. Lee, Gabriel Ahn, Rhonda Marie Alston
Based on a true story - A couple days in the life of an Asian actor in Hollywood, and the stereotypes he faces in the industry & his personal life.
Director: Kitania Kavey
Writer: David Mulligan
Stars: Josiah D. Lee, Gabriel Ahn, Rhonda Marie Alston
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00I hope you bought the hot sauce this time like I asked.
00:28How much?
00:31I said how much?
00:33$15.95.
00:34Oh, cut! Cut! Cut!
00:37James, please. I am absolutely appalled when you cut while I'm in the moment.
00:48They don't say cut on the stage, you know.
00:51Not you.
00:53You.
00:56Okay, listen. You're saying your line all wrong, okay?
01:00You need to say it in Chinese, okay? Like this.
01:04$15.95, please. Okay? Try it now.
01:11$15.95, please.
01:13No, no. Come on, now. Come on. Chop, chop. Time is money.
01:19$15.95, please.
01:21Yes, okay. Now you got it. All right. I can't believe I speak Chinese better than this kid.
01:27Okay, now remember, though, at the end, remember at the end to bow, okay?
01:31Just, yeah, just think. Think.
01:35Okay, that's nine beats, all right? Try it.
01:39Sir, I'm sorry. I was wondering if I could actually try something.
01:43Yeah, you want to make it extra Chinese-y? Throw in some extra Chinese crap? That's great. I respect your homeland.
01:50No, actually, I was thinking about the scene itself.
01:56How's that?
01:57Well, my character would obviously sense something amiss when he walks through the door, you know?
02:02I mean, the woman's tear-stripped face and the gun. The gun!
02:09Okay, you wouldn't notice that because you're just the Chinese food delivery guy.
02:14But that's actually a great idea.
02:18Hey, you!
02:19Me?
02:20Yeah. All right. How about we put you in the scene?
02:27Dynamite!
02:28Dynamite! All right, listen to this guy.
02:31Okay, we're going to have you be, uh, it's coming.
02:37The pizza guy.
02:38The pizza guy. Yes, that's right. Slap me some skin. Okay, yes, black skin.
02:45Good. Okay, now, we're going to need one pizza box.
02:50We're going to need to wrap that Asian kid, and I need an aspirin.
02:54All right. Okay, now, we're going to have you come in.
02:59When you do, you sense that something's amiss.
03:02I did get you. Something just ain't right.
03:04It's not right, yes, as you say.
03:06And you notice the tear-streaked face.
03:09Yeah, he probably smacked her up or something.
03:11He smacked her up.
03:16Oh, my God.
03:17Okay.
03:46Tim and Zach are going to do something from Barefoot in the Park.
03:50Ethan and Chris, True West, don't hold back, Ethan.
03:54I want to see your inner objects come out.
03:58Oh, Brittany, I'm sorry. Kevin is sick today.
04:01Why don't you do something with Josiah from The King and I?
04:05Oh, actually, I was wondering if I could try something else, if that's okay.
04:11Really?
04:13Yeah. I wanted to do a scene from Papillon.
04:16Who's Asian in that?
04:18Nobody. I just wanted to do Steve McQueen's part.
04:22Steve McQueen? Why?
04:26Because I like Steve McQueen. I relate to him.
04:31When he believes in something, he fights like hell for it.
04:34Josiah, Josiah, Josiah.
04:38What's wrong with The King and I?
04:40You don't like Oscar Hammerstein?
04:44No, he's great. I'm just not in the mood for King and I right now.
04:49Well, I'm not in the mood for Papillon right now.
04:53Then let me do True West with Chris.
04:58Sorry, Brittany, it's not you.
05:00Oh, then who is it?
05:03Me? Am I the problem?
05:06Yes.
05:08Or is it the whole world you're rebelling against?
05:11Maybe he thinks he's James Dean.
05:14What are you rebelling against? What do you got?
05:18Josiah, there's supposed to be brothers in True West.
05:23You don't look like Chris or anyone else here.
05:28Thank you. Thank you for pointing that out.
05:33Thanks.
05:36Name?
05:38I am the man with no name.
05:43Look, man, I've been up for 136 hours. Do you know how many days that is?
05:48Five?
05:49Six.
05:50Oh.
05:51I don't even know my own name right now.
05:53Hey, look, I'm sorry. I was just trying to cheer you up.
05:55My name is Josiah D. Lee.
05:57Right. You are the Chinese food delivery boy.
06:00What? What? Wait, wait, wait.
06:02You don't even know my name, but you know what I've been cast for?
06:05Yeah.
06:07You know what? You know, I could be...
06:09What, are you going to be the Jewish rabbi?
06:11The Pakistani cab driver?
06:13The Mexican soccer player?
06:15Well, actualmente, se llama futbol.
06:18Oh, wow. Actually, that's pretty good.
06:20Well, thank you.
06:21But seriously, my agent sent me here for the role of radar operator.
06:24Oh, right. Well, that scene has been cut, and a new scene has been added requiring...
06:28Chinese delivery boy.
06:38Wardrobe is that way.
06:45Thanks.
06:47You said I was going to be a radar operator.
06:50I said it was a mix-up. How is that my fault?
06:53Jack! Jack!
06:55I've been delivery boy six times in the last three months,
06:58and I'm just sick and tired of it.
07:00Give me something with substance.
07:02I mean, something that I can just wrap my heart and soul around.
07:05How did you get your sidecar?
07:07I don't know.
07:09I don't know.
07:11I don't know.
07:13And how did you get your sidecar?
07:15Fuck you.
07:16And who was the amazing, hard-working guy that got you that very part?
07:21Huh?
07:22Jack.
07:23You're fired.
07:28You fire me, and you will be a delivery boy for real.
07:34No, come on. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
07:36Sit down. Sit down. Relax.
07:39Get a massage.
07:41Besides,
07:44you have that thing called the contract, remember?
07:50Come on, at least sit down and finish your meal,
07:52which I paid for out of my own pocket.
07:57Okay, okay.
07:58I get it. Okay?
08:01No more delivery boy roles.
08:03All right?
08:04All right?
08:05Anything else, your highness?
08:07Get me out of that stupid Kung Fu gig.
08:09Whoa.
08:11We're not backing out of that.
08:13I mean, I gotta eat too.
08:15Kung Fu movies are bread and butter.
08:19Goodbye, Jack.
08:20All right.
08:21Well, you know what?
08:22Just give me a call after the Kung Fu thing is done, okay?
08:25I'm not going to the Kung Fu gig.
08:29Yes, you are.
08:31Oh, no, I'm not.
08:32Yes, you are.
08:34No.
08:36Don't make me go, Mr. Miyagi.
08:39Come on.
08:40Josiah.
08:41Come on, you need me.
08:43Everybody needs me.
08:46What are you going to do?
08:48Are you going to try to change the industry?
08:49Come on.
08:50You'd have to rewrite history.
08:52Josiah, you...
08:53Hey.
08:54Okay.
08:55Hey, hey, hey.
08:56Hey, buddy, buddy.
08:57I love you too.
08:58Good luck.
08:59You know, I'm behind you.
09:01Right behind you, pal.
09:02Love you.
09:03I'm going to give you a call, all right?
09:04Right after you're done with that thing, okay?
09:07Okay.
09:09Dude, I can't believe you made Brittany so upset.
09:14You know, you always got to be rocking the boat.
09:17Or as they call in your homeland, the rickshaw.
09:21You know what, man?
09:22I'm just sick and tired of being stereotyped.
09:25I'm an actor, not just an Asian guy.
09:30What do you want, Josiah?
09:34I want to be cast based on my acting ability,
09:37not some cookie-cutter character.
09:40Okay, so I'm Asian.
09:41Big deal.
09:43I know for a fact that there are real Asian radar operators
09:46in the U.S. Army.
09:48No, there's not.
09:50And how the hell do you know?
09:52Because your eyes are too squinty to see the radar screen.
09:59You know what, just for that, I'm going to kick your ass.
10:10Wow.
10:12How did you do that?
10:15It's the ancient Chinese secret.
10:18I mean, the way that you just,
10:20you took my arms off and bashed them over my head.
10:24Squinty eyes, my ass.
10:27Want to go again?
10:29Yeah.
10:32So what did you do about your agent?
10:34I fired him.
10:37Again?
10:38How many times is this?
10:4047.
10:42So I guess that means that you're not going to do the kung fu gig?
10:45Yes.
10:46Come on!
10:48We're playing video games on a 16-inch screen TV
10:50at a 15% interest rate.
10:52It's going to be 20, 25 by the time you pay this off.
10:55It's not what you play.
10:57It's that you're getting paid.
11:00Look around here.
11:01You live way beyond your means.
11:02I mean, it's good for me.
11:03I love it.
11:04Scott, I'm not going to the kung fu gig.
11:06Okay, okay.
11:09No, listen.
11:11I'm not going to the kung fu gig.
11:14I believe you.
11:17Seriously, I'm not going.
11:19Okay, okay.
11:22Man, you're fast.
11:24No more kung fu shit, all right?
11:27Okay, now.
11:28You look at him, and you know he's deadly.
11:31So you do some moves, you say something in oriental,
11:33and you look really, really mean.
11:36Okay.
11:37Really mean.
11:38Mean.
11:39We're rolling.
11:42Action.
11:51Excellent.
11:52That was really good, but we're going to do it again.
11:53And this time, Bruce.
11:54Do you mind if I call you Bruce?
11:55This time, go with what's inside.
11:58Go with, it's all about you.
12:00It's you.
12:01All right.
12:02All right?
12:03Still rolling.
12:06Action.
12:13Great.
12:14That's the one.
12:15Print it.
12:16I'm a fucking genius.
12:18What's wrong, honey?
12:21I just can't today.
12:23I have so much on my mind.
12:25That's the point, Josiah.
12:27To get all the bad stuff off your mind.
12:30Try again.
12:32Let the beauty that surrounds us in.
12:41Stop it.
12:42What?
12:43What?
12:44Clear your mind.
12:46Stop thinking about stuff.
12:48Do you want to talk about it?
12:50No.
12:51But you want to think about it.
12:53Yes.
12:54No.
12:55No.
12:56I don't.
12:57You know, I don't know.
12:58Is the whole world conspiring against you again, Josiah?
13:01Yes, it is.
13:02Yes.
13:03Because you're Asian.
13:04Yes.
13:05No.
13:06Maybe.
13:07You know, maybe I'm just a bad actor.
13:10What if it was only because you let them pigeonhole you into the Asian stereotype?
13:15Let them?
13:16What am I supposed to do?
13:18Look up Michael Jackson's Plastic Surgeon?
13:20How about really standing up for yourself for once?
13:23Make them see who you are.
13:25Like I do.
13:27Don't let yourself be stereotyped.
13:29Fight like hell for what you believe.
13:31What about all the bills?
13:33Character is stronger than worry.
13:35We'll figure something out.
13:37Together.
13:39Together.
13:51You know what?
13:53Never again.
13:55I've played my last role as delivery boy.
13:58But will you still play samurai warrior for me?
14:03You strange, round-eyed, pale-faced woman.
14:09I must have you now.
14:25Hey, this is Josiah.
14:26I'm not here right now.
14:27Leave a message.
14:29Wake up, wake up, my little ninja.
14:31I got auditions for you today, baby.
14:33They're doing another Vietnam flick.
14:35They're looking for 100 Vietcong soldiers.
14:38Some with some great featured roles.
14:40It's perfect for you.
14:42Call me.
14:43Sweet mother of Buddha.
14:48Leave a message.
14:49Hey, it's your agent again.
14:51Remember me, Jack Fogle?
14:52How about a western?
14:53They're looking for some railroad workers.
14:55Call me.
14:56Alright?
14:57Love you.
14:58Fuck you, Jack.
15:00It's me again.
15:01Who love you?
15:02Huh?
15:03Who love you?
15:05Give it a rest, Jack.
15:24Cantonese, you moron.
15:25Cantonese.
15:34I'm getting the idea that you're not calling me back for a reason.
15:37My agent is a rocket scientist.
15:39Well, I got an open call, and it's not stereotyping.
15:42It's nothing about orientals.
15:44Please, I promise.
15:45This one is a pure open call.
15:48You better not be lying.
15:55Hey, kid.
15:56How are you?
15:57Why do you always call me with crap?
15:59Hey, I'm here to make you and me good green money.
16:02I'm not here to change the world.
16:03You want to hear a good one?
16:05Go on.
16:06Okay.
16:08I know this director.
16:09A real visionary.
16:10Straight out of USC.
16:11He's got this film.
16:12Now, it's called The Stealth Assassin.
16:15He's looking for a stealth assassin, see?
16:18Me?
16:19Stealth assassin?
16:21This is a lead role.
16:22Something about smashing stereotypes in comic books.
16:25A superhero.
16:26Yeah, go on.
16:28I'll get you the science.
16:31Now, say it.
16:33Say what?
16:35Oh, Jack.
16:37Say it.
16:39You're not such a bad guy after all.
16:43Music to my ears, kid.
16:45You know I'm in your corner.
16:47Now, you go give him hell, my little stealth assassin.
16:50All right, call me when you're done.
17:01Fucking kid's going to kill me.
17:06Oh, thank God you're here.
17:08Wow, really?
17:10I'm starving.
17:11What took you so long?
17:13What?
17:14Where's my lunch?
17:16I'm here for the audition.
17:18And you're here to audition for...
17:22The Stealth Assassin lead?
17:25I thought it was an open call.
17:28I thought it was an open call.
17:30Yeah, but...
17:32Oh, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
17:36Oh, thank God you're here.
17:40I'm so hungry.
17:42Do I know you from somewhere?
17:44Yeah.
17:48Good luck, man.
17:50Is this an open call?
17:52Yeah.
17:53Oh, cool, I should come by after work.
17:56If you do, could you bring more duck sauce?
18:00I can't beat him.
18:02His technology is too powerful for my...
18:05Cut!
18:07But I wasn't done yet.
18:09Next.
18:14Yes, may I help you?
18:16Yes, my name is Josiah D. Lee,
18:18and I'm here to audition for the role of Stealth Assassin lead.
18:22Next.
18:24But I didn't even say my line yet.
18:26I'm sorry, kid, you're just not what we're looking for.
18:29But I thought it was an open call.
18:31I know, but that doesn't mean...
18:34What?
18:35Okay.
18:36Okay, go ahead.
18:39I can't beat him.
18:41His technology is...
18:43Sorry.
18:44Lights!
18:45Lights!
18:47What's your name again?
18:49Josiah, Josiah D. Lee.
18:55That's Jewish. Are you Jewish?
18:57No.
19:01From now on, say you're Jewish anyway.
19:04Throw some off.
19:06Who is your wife?
19:11I'm sorry, kid, you're just not what we're looking for.
19:13But that's just prejudice.
19:15That's good business.
19:17But I thought you were trying to dispel stereotypes in this film.
19:20I am.
19:21Then give me a shot.
19:23It's your girlfriend.
19:27I'm sorry, what were you saying?
19:29I was saying to give me a fair shot.
19:31I mean, it's the 21st century.
19:33I mean, Hollywood can't keep casting us
19:35as laundry-washing Chinamen
19:37or shopkeepers who speak broken English.
19:42You've got guts.
19:44I like that.
19:46Okay, okay, you have my undivided attention.
19:51I can't beat him.
19:52And action!
19:55I can't beat him.
19:57I mean, his technology is just too powerful.
20:02Underneath all that armour and flashing lights,
20:05he's just a mortal man.
20:08I have the natural powers.
20:10I mean, who else can say that?
20:12But every power I have,
20:14my enemy simply builds a device to thwart it.
20:18You know, I just can't continue as a superhero anymore.
20:24My only regret...
20:25Yes?
20:26Yes!
20:28I'm seeing it.
20:30We could break the mould.
20:32Wide open, smash it into a million pieces.
20:34You're an excellent actor.
20:38I'm gonna gamble on you.
20:42It's the studio.
20:44Yes.
20:46Yeah?
20:48Yeah.
20:49Okay.
20:53Yeah, well, um...
20:55Funding for the project fell through.
20:58Studio didn't think it'd be a moneymaker.
21:00Pack up your stuff, guys.
21:01See you on the next film.
21:06You got gusto, kid.
21:09Would you like to be in my next film?
21:10It's about the French Revolution.
21:13Don't scratch that. Maybe the one after that.
21:16Okay, well, I'll be in touch.
21:18We'll do lunch or something.
21:19I'll call you.
21:20Good luck.
21:43I'm sorry.
21:44I'm sorry.
21:45I'm sorry.
21:46I'm sorry.
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